I am glad I came upon this thread, and I since I did, I have tried to read and absorb the comments, so forgive me if i repeat any of the comments that have all ready been made.
I am the child of a homosexual father, who left my mother, when I was seven, to live with his partner....all this happened in the late 50's.....when divorce was not as prevelent as it is today.
From what I can remember, at aged seven, I did not go thru a lot of trauma, back then, it was to just go with the flow of life....even moving to a different city, didnt disturb me that much, I dont have any memories of crying myself to sleep, or even wishing that it wasnt happening.
As I got older, into my early teens, my mother was now living with a new partner, my dad and his partner were still living together....it was trying to explain to my friends then, where each one of them fitted into my life...I was embarrassed that my parents were divorced, and did try to hide that...my mother and her new partner, gave me a home to live in, an education and security.....my father and his partner, gave me somewhere to go every second or third weekend, and spend my holidays.....maybe because I was only seven when it all started, I had just accepted that this was MY way of life.
Of course, in my childhood and early teens, I did not know my dad was homosexual, I just assumed that He and his partner were "mates" who decided to live together...His partner was only 11 years older than me, and he was like a big brother, and I loved him like that, and he loved me like that.
Eventually when I was 17 and had just got engaged to be married, my dad sat me down and told me, that he was homosexual....I guess it wasnt that big a shock, maybe i did know there was something there between them, but back then, the word wasnt bandied around like it is now, and I just didnt have a name for it, until Dad said it.
It still wasnt that traumatic...back then, we seemed to accept things that our parents did without question....whatever our parents did, was all right by us....my fiance accepted it, in the same way that I did....him and I married in 1969 and we are still enjoying a wonderful marriage.
I think what I am trying to say here, is that, it wasnt as painful or traumatic as people may think it is....Divorce, no matter why it happens, can be a bad experience for children, I dont doubt that for one minute, and if the divorcing parents are sensible, and nice to one another, it makes it so much easier on the kids....thats what happened with me....I dont think people give kids credit, for their acceptance of what life bestows on them.
Ennis was a lot like my father.....he made sure he gave financial support, he was always in my life, and he was always there for emotional support.
When I saw the movie, it made me realize the depth of the love that my dad had for his partner, all those years ago, and I dont think he was selfish, for leaving my mum and me to have that love....we all survived and lived with it, and made our lives how we needed to, to make ourselves happy.My mum and me, went on to find love too.
When i watched the movie, I kept thinking, "Ennis, go with Jack, the kids will survive ok, go and have the love you deserve".....
When Alma Jnr went to see Ennis to tell him she was getting married, I saw ME, doing exactly the same thing, I was hoping Ennis would tell her about him and Jack, like my dad told me about him and his partner.
I think that scene showed, that it didnt really make any difference that Ennis stayed, this outcome would have been the same whether he had stayed or not....Alma Jnr, had found her own love, and she was going to lead the life she wanted to have, and that was going to happen, whether Ennis stayed with Alma, or Ennis had gone with Jack.......I think Ennis realized that as well, and thats why when he held the shirts and said "I Swear"...he meant, if he could have it all over again, he would not have chosen the path that he did.
Also, it makes no difference if the reason for a marriage break up is the result of two men falling in love, or a man and a woman falling in love..the outcome is still the same, so for the author of that original story, to put shit on the characters in Brokeback Mountain, is very homophobic, and not reality.....just because a marriage breaks up, or a father leaves the marital home to love someone else, that doesnt mean, he still doesnt love his kids in the same way, as he would, if he were there every day with them.Every parent would know that.