Time for another update since I can never seem to make the chats.
Didn't We Know This Was Going to End Badly?:
In October I contacted an entertainment lawyer with whom I was familiar and had him send a demand letter to my producer, since I had talked to the guy only once the entire year and still had no CD. The letter stated that if the CD and videos were not delivered by Dec 15th, we would begin legal proceedings against him. The CD that Jay (the producer in question) sent me soon after Dec. 15th was basically a very shiny coaster. Virtually worthless. No background vocals, dead space where there should be solos, production that was so amateurish that it was easy to tell the tracks had barely been touched since I left SoCal in Dec. '06. The email I got from Jay said that this fulfilled his obligation. <sigh>
So now I've sent a copy of the CD to my lawyer asking how much of what I paid Jay I should ask back, if not the entire amount. I still haven't gotten the videos or album artwork that were part of the deal. I know that Jay knows he's in hot water because he refuses to give me his mailing address. Even the envelope with the CD came without a return address.
On the Plus Side:
Back in August I took a self-actualization type of course called the Landmark Forum, and then did the follow-up seminar weekly (almost) afterwards. Good stuff. Google it and check it out. Through the work I did there I came to the realization that, had I been comfortable being bad at something while I learned how to do it, I would have started on my own path to being a record producer when I was 18. I've always wanted to be a creative force in music and somewhere along the line i'd convinced myself that I didn't, that singing and writing were enough. Well no more. Starting Monday I'll be taking Music Composition and the Electronic Music Lab at SF City College and learning how to make music myself, as well as seeking out collaborators and pretending that the last 20 years of my professional life didn't happen. Not much has happened that I wish to remember anyway, so that last part won't be hard.
Seriously, my professional life basically stopped when I graduated high school. The best thing I can say about it is that I've been making a good living for the past 8 years in a show I never really liked in the first place (not that the thousands of people who love BBB shouldn't or anything). But as we learned in BBM, eventually you're going to have to be true to yourself or you'll spend the rest of your life miserable. It may have taken me 20 years but I'm finally on the right track. And I have to say the process probably started around the time I saw BBM. Certainly a huge part of getting my life together has been having Nick in it (we're at 1 1/2 years so far!). And even though it didn't turn out well professionally, moving south for a few months in '06 was a brave risk and I'm glad I took it.
I'm certain my best days are ahead of me. Well, certain except for the part of me that's scared s**tless that my life will stay exactly as it is until I die. There are worse fates, true, but I can do so much more with it than I'm currently doing.
Hope all is well with you folks.