Why are we like this?

[Artiste]

Merci beaucoup Fiona!! (optom)

I will tell mother that and my great lady neighbour!!  But why do they have to wait for such an operation?? - ??
Pourquoi?

...........

Back to: Why are we like this ??    Why indeed??  I just just reading a note from a lady she posted to me last  year. She wondered why too??

She says:
Yes, I think some gay men don't accept their homosexuality!

Fiona, more later.

For now, that is interesting what she says?

Au revoir,
hugs!

[Brown Eyes]

After over three years of the Brokie experience, it seems worthwhile to reconsider this now age-old question.


So, I'll take a serious stab at the question.  The more I think about it, the more I think BBM touched those of us who are hardcore Brokies in some way that resonates or resonated with some serious issue that we needed to or still need to resolve in our own lives.  I don't think it is always an absolutely direct relationship to the literal themes or storylines with in the movie/story.  It seems to me that many serious Brokies have been or still are looking for some kind of major change or adjustment in their own lives.  The way BBM spoke to or continues to speak to that need for change or reevaluation is certainly completely unique for everyone who has experienced this.

[Monika]

After over three years of the Brokie experience, it seems worthwhile to reconsider this now age-old question.


So, I'll take a serious stab at the question.  The more I think about it, the more I think BBM touched those of us who are hardcore Brokies in some way that resonates or resonated with some serious issue that we needed to or still need to resolve in our own lives.  I don't think it is always an absolutely direct relationship to the literal themes or storylines with in the movie/story.  It seems to me that many serious Brokies have been or still are looking for some kind of major change or adjustment in their own lives.  The way BBM spoke to or continues to speak to that need for change or reevaluation is certainly completely unique for everyone who has experienced this.

Interesting thread.

I agree, Amanda. I think this is why fiction is such a big part of our lives. Somehow fiction often helps us to look at our own lives and if not change things, at least re-evaluate some aspects of it. ¨

I don´t know quite yet what it is about BBM that I respond to so much, but I´ll keep on looking. I have been looking for a little over a year now and I´ll figure it out someday, I bet.

[Katie77]

I think when this question was first asked, it was in the beginning of most our experience of Brokeback Mountain.

How many of us thought we were a little bit crazy for going so over the top over a movie? How many of us, thought we were the only ones going through it, until we found sites like Bettermost? How many of us thought it was just a phase we were going through and we would get over it?

How many of us asked......"Why are we like this?"

Well, I guess after three years, most of us have stopped asking. We just ACCEPT that we are spirtually connected to the movie, to the characters, to the story. We dont feel the need to justify it anymore, nor the need to hide it from our family and friends, because now they too, accept it.

It is as much a part of us, as getting up in the morning, and going to bed at night, its just there.

We continue to go about our normal life, going to work, mixing with family, socializing with friends, we know, and they know that we are Brokeback Mountain obsessed, that is part of our makeup and our character now, and I have no doubt that it will be, for the rest of our lives.

[Brown Eyes]

Heya Buffy and Katie!   I agree with what both of you said here.

Well, I guess after three years, most of us have stopped asking. We just ACCEPT that we are spirtually connected to the movie, to the characters, to the story. We dont feel the need to justify it anymore, nor the need to hide it from our family and friends, because now they too, accept it.

Although, for me, the extent of my Brokie-ness is still pretty much secret to most of my family, friends and colleagues.  Most of them know that I like the movie, but none of them (that I know of) are aware of the Brokie events I've participated in or the level of my daily activity at BetterMost and thinking about Brokeback related things.  I still think that most of the folks in my normal, daily life wouldn't understand at all.

[Marge_Innavera]

After over three years of the Brokie experience, it seems worthwhile to reconsider this now age-old question.


So, I'll take a serious stab at the question.  The more I think about it, the more I think BBM touched those of us who are hardcore Brokies in some way that resonates or resonated with some serious issue that we needed to or still need to resolve in our own lives.  I don't think it is always an absolutely direct relationship to the literal themes or storylines with in the movie/story.  It seems to me that many serious Brokies have been or still are looking for some kind of major change or adjustment in their own lives.  The way BBM spoke to or continues to speak to that need for change or reevaluation is certainly completely unique for everyone who has experienced this.

Sorry if this sounds so academic, but I think there are archetypes in both the ss and movie that impact people on a level well below a superficial viewing of a movie you like. There were so many of us that identified with the story and characters but would seem to have so little in common with them in terms of gender, sexual orientation, geography social class or anything else.

It's been difficult for me to get people in my life to understand about it -- most of them don't even know.

[serious crayons]

Sorry if this sounds so academic, but I think there are archetypes in both the ss and movie that impact people on a level well below a superficial viewing of a movie you like. There were so many of us that identified with the story and characters but would seem to have so little in common with them in terms of gender, sexual orientation, geography social class or anything else.

It's been difficult for me to get people in my life to understand about it -- most of them don't even know.

But still, it's mysterious. Most of the people in my life don't understand it, either. Many, of course, haven't bothered to see the movie. But even among those who do, ours is clearly not a universal reaction.

I think you're right, Marge, about the archetypes and the deep impact. I think it's fairly easy to understand why this movie is more powerful than most good movies. But it's harder to explain why this movie doesn't hold that same power on everybody who sees it (even if they're not homophobic).

[Front-Ranger]

I agree about the archetype. The one that most closely resembles Brokeback Mountain to me is that of the young person at the threshhold of adulthood on whom a spell is cast so they fall into a deep trance or sleep but are awakened by the transforming power of love.

We all feel that there's a possibility we might be "rescued" from our humdrum existance by love or that we might experience again the rush of exuberance that we did in youth.

[optom3]

For me the connection was and still is, that of a wrong turning made in my life. It is also the dreadful realisation that life has moved on way too far now, to ever turn round again.

It is  about deluding myself that once having found love, albeit at a less than opportune time, that love could ever just cease.

Do we cease to love someone who has died, I think not.Yet in my befuddled brain, I thought I could just up and walk away.

Another connection is that of a parent, now desperate for her children not to repeat the mistakes she has made.

The brother of my love and I do mean my love, once implored, don't do this. He had lost his partner and great love to AIDS. He berated me saying, how can you walk away from this, when I would give anything to have my lover back. He was nonplussed by my stupidity. He was also unfortunately, quite right.

So I watch BBM and grieve on many levels, particularly when I see that my actions, although guided by a desire to do the right thing, have in actual fact, left casualties on route.

It is of paramount importance to me that my children find love and hang on to it. At least then I will feel some happy resolution has come from my sacrifice. To think that I may have given up so much and for no good to ensue, would be beyond bearable.

BBM continues to resonate with me on so many levels that it is now an integral part of me. I can talk to no one about it, (apart from here at Bettermost) as to do so would hurt too many people.So I nurse my personal grief and hope for the, it is better to have loved and lost, to actually resonate truthfully with me. So far that has proved to be  elusive, as has any sustained  peace of mind.

So I find myself much as Ennis, hanging on to dreams to warm me through the day.

[twistedude]

I saw Brokeback on December 26, 2005.  And then 29 more times in the theater. And I have the mother of all DVDs.

..which I haven't watched for a year. Fiction? That was then; this is now.

Like other people who have posted on this thread--my reasons (which I've thought and thought, and THOUGHT about)--are a little different from everyone else's. Read them! They are NOT all the same!

I fell in love with the RELATIONSHIP between the two men. SO: Had I ever done this before? Sorta. As young girl, if I had a crush on a boy, and he had a girl friend--I would fall in love with the relationship between the two of them. Not wildly, but mildly. Why? I don't know.

I was shy, and noisy (a terrible combination), and usually had only 1, or sometimes 2 good friends.  I've had two great loves in my life (it's so nice to have had two, instead of just one! So I know it's possible...). I married for like, not for love. "Not for me flows that spring"? Why? I don't know.

When I was watching the previews of Brokeback, when Jack says "I wish I could quit you," I had never heard anyone use that tone of voice before. It pierced my heart. Why? I don't know.

There are probably millions (through time) of gay people out there, fictional and real, who 'wish they could quit" someone.  I wish they'd get on the same elevator with the person they love,  and stay there, and not quit. Why is this so important to me? I don't know.

Helpful, wasn't I?

My first boyfriend, at 18 (photo taken by me, when i was 15...in 1950).