Report your use of Brokieisms in so-called "real life"

[CellarDweller]

I never drink the stuff--tastes nauseatingly awful to me unless it has chocolate in it.

I can drink regular milk, but I have to be in the mood for  it.  I do enjoy chocolate milk. 

[serious crayons]

I can drink regular milk, but I have to be in the mood for  it.  I do enjoy chocolate milk. 

I never drink milk as a beverage. Even on cereal -- which I also rarely eat -- I prefer soy or almond milk. I haven't had chocolate milk since probably high school.

But when my kids were both living here, we went through almost a gallon a day. Even in their 20s, they still really like it.

The price is always-or at least often--lower when you buy in bulk, or larger quantities, like my experience with the sweet corn.

But, like your experience with sweet corn, that usually means the price is lower per unit. In other words, you'd pay less than 75 cents an ear if you bought a dozen, but you wouldn't pay less than 75 cents total. Whereas Lee, if I understood correctly, was saying that a quart actually costs $1.03 more than a gallon! That's terrible, because unlike shelf-stable or solid foods, you can't even easily split them with a friend.

I don't understand how the price discriminates against cows.  A cow will give however much she's going to give, regardless of whether the dairy bottles it by the gallon or by the quart.

I didn't get that part, either.

I'd rather pay more for a quart and use it up before it spoils than pay less for a gallon and throw half of it away.

Me too, but it seems kind of crazy that you'd have to.

On the other hand, I'm not eating much locally grown sweet corn this summer, because the Amish farmer at our Reading Terminal Farmers' Market, where I buy my produce this time of year, is charging 75 cents a piece for one ear of corn. The price is lower if you buy a dozen ears, but I have no use for a dozen, again because I'm a one-person household. Sweet corn is best when it's freshly picked. Two ears are enough for me for one meal. If I bought a dozen, by the time I used them all, the last ears would be as icky as the frozen ears of corn you buy in a supermarket.

They used to say "don't pick the corn until the water's boiling." But now -- well, I don't know about the East Coast, but here in the Corn Belt they now grow longer-lasting corn. I think it's often called "supersweet." What happens to corn once it's picked (as I understand it) is that the sugar in the kernels quickly turns to starch, and it's not as good. But this new corn either has more sugar to begin with or transitions more slowly. If you bought a dozen and ate two a day, I'd wager that the last two would still be OK on the sixth day. In any case, it would still be great great for cooking: Southwestern casseroles, corn bread, corn salad with green beans onions and bacon ...

Or you could just shrug it off the way you would milk and buy fewer ears. To me, $1.50 for a side dish that you really enjoy and is only available for a short time every year doesn't seem like such a bad deal.

My ex-husband and I are part of a community garden my neighborhood organizes. It's in the yard of the church right behind my house, so it's almost like having a garden in my backyard. Unlike some community gardens where it's one big garden and everybody pitches in, here you get your own plot. It's $50 a season for a whole plot (about the size of, I don't know, the interior of a spacious sedan), and $25 for half. That buys you the space as well as dirt, compost and water from spigots with hoses. My ex, who likes to garden and unlike me knows something about it, does the planting and much of the other work. It's well worth it, especially when you make a sandwich of tomatoes, mozzarella and basil with tomatoes and basil that you just picked (the basil I grow on my patio). I eat a tomato sandwich almost every day during tomato season. Last night I brought Caprese salad with freshly picked stuff to my National Night Out block party.

We've also got or had arugula, lettuce, beans, poblanos and zucchini. The arugula was the best I've ever had. The beans and poblanos are also good, though less noticably better than their supermarket produce-department cousins. The zucchinis are already getting kind of gross -- they're huge -- but I spiralize them to use for pasta.

But we don't grow no corn just now.

[Front-Ranger]

My ex-husband and I are part of a community garden my neighborhood organizes. It's in the yard of the church right behind my house, so it's almost like having a garden in my backyard. Unlike some community gardens where it's one big garden and everybody pitches in, here you get your own plot. It's $50 a season for a whole plot (about the size of, I don't know, the interior of a spacious sedan), and $25 for half. That buys you the space as well as dirt, compost and water from spigots with hoses. My ex, who likes to garden and unlike me knows something about it, does the planting and much of the other work. It's well worth it, especially when you make a sandwich of tomatoes, mozzarella and basil with tomatoes and basil that you just picked (the basil I grow on my patio). I eat a tomato sandwich almost every day during tomato season. Last night I brought Caprese salad with freshly picked stuff to my National Night Out block party.

We've also got or had arugula, lettuce, beans, poblanos and zucchini. The arugula was the best I've ever had. The beans and poblanos are also good, though less noticably better than their supermarket produce-department cousins. The zucchinis are already getting kind of gross -- they're huge -- but I spiralize them to use for pasta.

That sounds fantastic, friend! You Minnesotans really know how to live. . . in the summertime, anyway.

But we don't grow no corn just now.

 

[Front-Ranger]

When I said low milk prices discriminate against cows, I meant that milk is a nutritious useful product and should cost more than, say, bottled water or pop. Plus, when you milk a cow, that means that there's a baby cow somewhere that isn't going to get the milk it needs to grow.

Whole milk has a perfect balance of cholesterol (which is actually an important nutrient) and protein, with vitamins, minerals, and sugars for energy. I am very sad whenever I pour milk down the drain, thinking of all the babies who crave and need it.

This is somewhat Brokeish because, remember Alma smelling of fecundity and Ennis was feeding cows with hay one time.

[Jeff Wrangler]

When I said low milk prices discriminate against cows, I meant that milk is a nutritious useful product and should cost more than, say, bottled water or pop. Plus, when you milk a cow, that means that there's a baby cow somewhere that isn't going to get the milk it needs to grow.

Yes, it does, but that's not the way dairy calves are raised today, unless, perhaps the farm is some sort of an organic dairy farm, or whatever you might call it. Oddly enough, considering all the "people exams" we do here on my job, we also do the North American Veterinary License Exam. That exam has plenty of questions relating to the care of dairy cows. The questions suggest that in much if not most dairy farming today, calves are taken from their mothers practically almost right after they're born and provided nutrition in other ways. A farmer doesn't want milk from a cow going down a calf''s throat, because that's money lost to the farmer.

Ain't sayin' this is right, or not cruel to the cows, or whatever. But it's the way dairy farming is today. It's an industry. This is why almost all dairy farms today have exclusively black-and-white Holstein cows, because they give more milk per pound of feed than other breeds (cows don't eat just grass anymore). When I was a kid, farmers also raised other breeds. After my appendectomy, when I had lost a lot of weight, my pediatrician told my mother to give me milk from Guernsey cows because Guernsey milk has a higher butterfat content than milk from other breeds. In those days, some dairy farms in my home county had Guernseys, and one dairy even specialized in Guernsey milk. Nowadays you would be hard put to find a Guernsey cow in all of Lancaster County, because even though Guernseys give milk with a higher butterfat content than other breeds, they don't give as much milk per pound of feed. So Guernseys aren't economical.

(Of course, Ennis wasn't dealing with dairy cows. He was dealing with beef cattle.)

[Jeff Wrangler]

But, like your experience with sweet corn, that usually means the price is lower per unit. In other words, you'd pay less than 75 cents an ear if you bought a dozen, but you wouldn't pay less than 75 cents total. Whereas Lee, if I understood correctly, was saying that a quart actually costs $1.03 more than a gallon! That's terrible, because unlike shelf-stable or solid foods, you can't even easily split them with a friend.

I'm sorry I wasn't clear. That's what meant to imply: If you buy a dozen ears of corn, the price is lower per ear of corn than if you just buy two ears. And isn't that what Lee was saying about milk? I don't know what would be the unit for milk (an ounce, maybe?), but if you buy a larger quantity of it, a gallon instead of a quart, the price is lower than if you buy a smaller amount. I don't see how this differs from what I wrote about the corn. 

You got a couple of empty quart jars, preferably glass? You can split a gallon of milk with a friend. 

They used to say "don't pick the corn until the water's boiling." But now -- well, I don't know about the East Coast, but here in the Corn Belt they now grow longer-lasting corn. I think it's often called "supersweet." What happens to corn once it's picked (as I understand it) is that the sugar in the kernels quickly turns to starch, and it's not as good. But this new corn either has more sugar to begin with or transitions more slowly.

That's my understanding of sweet corn, too. I seem to remember seeing some corn advertised as supersweet (not here in the city, though), but without an explanation of what that meant. Seemed like just an advertising gimmick.

If you bought a dozen and ate two a day, I'd wager that the last two would still be OK on the sixth day.

If I bought a dozen ears of any type of sweet corn and had to clean and cook two a day, I would very quickly get tired of corn on the cob. 

In any case, it would still be great great for cooking: Southwestern casseroles, corn bread, corn salad with green beans onions and bacon ...

Don't eat no corn salad around here.

Or you could just shrug it off the way you would milk and buy fewer ears. To me, $1.50 for a side dish that you really enjoy and is only available for a short time every year doesn't seem like such a bad deal.

On the one hand, I see your point and agree with it. On the other hand--and I neglected to mention this--at the beginning of the season, the farmer charged only 50 cents an ear. And I'm afraid I'm spoiled by prices "back home," where you can buy corn that was picked that morning and priced at 25 cents an ear (less if you buy a dozen) (I recognize that there are costs of transportation to bring the corn into the city, but still. ....)

My ex-husband and I are part of a community garden my neighborhood organizes. It's in the yard of the church right behind my house, so it's almost like having a garden in my backyard. Unlike some community gardens where it's one big garden and everybody pitches in, here you get your own plot.

We have community gardens here, too, but the land is owned by the city, and last I heard there is actually a waiting list to get a plot. I don't know what the city charges. There are none near my place. Of course, it helps if you enjoy gardening and want to spend the time on it. I'd have a walk of many blocks before I even got to the garden. 

[serious crayons]

Re cows and calves: That was educational, Jeff. So I guess baby cows do suffer in factory farms.

However, I was going to make the point that cows are like wet nurses in the old days. That is, long after they have a baby they continue giving milk because their body feels it being sucked out. Mothers' milk doesn't dry up as long as it's being consumed, whether by a baby or a pump (and it dries up pretty quickly when it's not, which is why workplaces need to provide comfortable nursing/pumping rooms, though they often don't). And of course cows don't get pregnant unless the farmer wants them to.

I'm sorry I wasn't clear. That's what meant to imply: If you buy a dozen ears of corn, the price is lower per ear of corn than if you just buy two ears. And isn't that what Lee was saying about milk? I don't know what would be the unit for milk (an ounce, maybe?), but if you buy a larger quantity of it, a gallon instead of a quart, the price is lower than if you buy a smaller amount. I don't see how this differs from what I wrote about the corn. 

Because your corn situation is that you pay less per unit: 75 cents versus whatever it is per ear for a dozen. If you buy, say, six ears of corn at 75 cents each you'll pay $4.50. I can see paying less than 75 cents/ear if you buy a dozen. But does a dozen ears cost less than $4.50? I'm guessing not, because that's crazy. I'm guessing it's closer to the price of 11 ears or something -- just enough to make it worth getting the extra corn.

But in Lee's example, not only is the gallon of milk cheaper per unit, she's actually paying in excess of 50% more for a quantity one quarter of the size:

A gallon of milk costs an average of $1.83 in my town, while a quart of milk costs $2.86!

It's common for larger packages of things to cost less, sometimes a lot less, per unit. It's not surprising that a gallon is less than four times the quart's price. If a quart costs $2.85, a gallon probably won't cost $11.44. Or if a gallon costs $1.83, it's not surprising to find that a quart costs more than 45 cents.

What's rare is for the total cost of a smaller package to be higher than the total cost of a bigger package. In other words, she'd save $1.03 by buying the gallon and then throwing three-quarters of it out. Like you buying a dozen ears of corn, throwing out all but three and still saving money.

I've occasionally seen sales where the smaller package on sale is even a few cents cheaper than the larger package (though usually still higher per unit). But I've never seen a package cost 50 percent more than one four times its size. (Unless you're comparing a gallon at Costco to a quart in an upscale market or something.)

You got a couple of empty quart jars, preferably glass? You can split a gallon of milk with a friend. 

Aside from the fact that if you want a quart you would need a total of four jars and three friends, this is an excellent suggestion. And of course you'd have to all consume your milk at the same time, and meet regularly for the pour-off.

I seem to remember seeing some corn advertised as supersweet (not here in the city, though), but without an explanation of what that meant. Seemed like just an advertising gimmick.

No, I think it's a hybridization gimmick.

If I bought a dozen ears of any type of sweet corn and had to clean and cook two a day, I would very quickly get tired of corn on the cob. 

Good point. Do you have a friend? You wouldn't even need glass jars.

Don't eat no corn salad around here.

What is wrong with you people?    Corn, onions, beans and bacon and variations thereof are delicious both as a hot sauteed dish or a vinaigrette salad.

[Jeff Wrangler]

Aside from the fact that if you want a quart you would need a total of four jars and three friends, this is an excellent suggestion. And of course you'd have to all consume your milk at the same time, and meet regularly for the pour-off.

That would really depend on how much milk you want. For example, if you want a quart, but the other party can make use of three quarts (a couple of kids, maybe?), then you only need two people and one glass jar. You only need four people and four jars if everyone wants a quart.

No, I think it's a hybridization gimmick.

Sure enough. I just never saw anything that explained that supersweet was a new hybrid.

[serious crayons]

That would really depend on how much milk you want. For example, if you want a quart, but the other party can make use of three quarts (a couple of kids, maybe?), then you only need two people and one glass jar. You only need four people and four jars if everyone wants a quart.

Sure enough.    I just made that point because when you advised two jars and two people per gallon, it sounded like you were thinking two quarts to a gallon.

Maybe you weren't, but in any case I usually think of you as being more aware of that kind of common factual stuff like that than I am. So I had to google it to double check. That's when I realized the word "quart" probably came from "quarter of a gallon."

Actually, now that I think of it, if you had four people and a gallon of milk and everybody wanted a quart, you'd only need three jars. One person could just keep the milk in the jug it came in.

That should be a question on one of those tricky logic quizzes: "If four people have a gallon of milk and everybody wants one quart of milk, how many jars do they need?" Many people would jump to "four," like I did.

[Jeff Wrangler]

Sure enough.    I just made that point because when you advised two jars and two people per gallon, it sounded like you were thinking two quarts to a gallon.

Maybe you weren't, but in any case I usually think of you as being more aware of that kind of common factual stuff like that than I am. So I had to google it to double check. That's when I realized the word "quart" probably came from "quarter of a gallon."

Actually, now that I think of it, if you had four people and a gallon of milk and everybody wanted a quart, you'd only need three jars. One person could just keep the milk in the jug it came in.

Sure enough, but maybe that person would rather keep milk in a glass quart jar than in a plastic gallon jug. Then you would be correct. It also wouldn't take up as much room in the refrigerator as a gallon jug.

Truth to tell, I double-checked on a website that allows you to make conversions of measurements, just to make sure I was remembering correctly that a gallon has four quarts.

I never though about the derivation of the term quart. You might be right about that.