~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%

[cmr107]

YOUNG ENNIS:

((Sees Jack lying on the grass.))

%% Guess I better go talk to him. What's he doin lyin on the grass like that, why didn't he come find me? Hope he don't think last night was a mistake. Gotta find out what he thinks of it. %%

((Walks over to Jack, still holding his rifle. Squats down.))

Uh, I reckon this is a one shot thing we got here, hunh? Just while we're up on this mountain.

[Meryl]

((The High Priestess, peering into the spa reception area, is astounded to see the Feng Shui Director looking back at her.))

** Celeste!  What are you doing here at this hour?  Don't tell me you're in league with that finagling Frau! **



** Speak up, girl! **



** What!  She packed up and ran home to Stuppenstadt!  Oh, the humanity!  What shall I do?  Where shall I go?  Celeste, you have to help me!  Even Lane Bryant doesn't make a size 150! **

((Overcome with the horror of her situation, Meryl releases the semi-squashed FSD and runs wailing into the night.  The alarmed townspeople run into the streets as buildings threaten to crumble with the vibrations of her footsteps.  Gradually, the tremors grow less, the wailing recedes.  As dawn breaks, silence reigns on BrokeArse Mountain.))

[Lumière]

YOUNG ENNIS:

((Sees Jack lying on the grass.))

%% Guess I better go talk to him. What's he doin lyin on the grass like that, why didn't he come find me? Hope he don't think last night was a mistake. Gotta find out what he thinks of it. %%

((Walks over to Jack, still holding his rifle. ))

((Squats down.))
Uh, I reckon this is a one shot thing we got here, hunh? Just while we're up on this mountain.

[saucycobblers]

((JBB shivers and wakes from his happy slumber))

** What the...? Where'd Terry go? SonofaPolyesterHandtowel, I sure hope he ain't regrettin' what happened last night... *sigh*

This sure is the happiest I've been since my modelling days in London. You may be familiar with my work in 'Texas Monthly'?**



** Ah, happy days... the carefree days of youth, when we believed ourselves on the hawk's back, suspended above ordinary affairs...**

((JBB feels a hand grab him and put him in a jeans pocket))

%% Somethin' don't smell right. That ain't YOUNG JACK's smell %%

((Minutes later JBB is taken from the pocket and feels the warmth of breath that smells of elk))

** Oooo, ooooooohhhhhh. WTF??!! Who the hell are you two??**

[YaadPyar]

((Overcome with the horror of her situation, Meryl releases the semi-squashed FSD and runs wailing into the night.  The alarmed townspeople run into the streets as buildings threaten to crumble with the vibrations of her footsteps.  Gradually, the tremors grow less, the wailing recedes.  As dawn breaks, silence reigns on BrokeArse Mountain.))

** Spent from her recent escapades, the High Priestess expells and expends all the energy she was channeling from the tension between Jack and Ennis, JBB and Terry Cloth.  The High Priestess is an incredibly sensitive individual who takes on the vibrations surrounding her. **

** Thankfully the sexual tension has difused, and now exists soley in Jack's pants and Ennis's goobly bits where it belongs; the High Priestess is free of it all. **

(( The Feng Shui Director has brought back an ancient Chinese secret (no, not laundry detergent!) from Guilin, and uses it to resurrect the High Priestess.  She is re-born anew, and is even free from the hideous plastic surgery that was marring her otherwise fine features.  ))

[Daniel]

YOUNG ENNIS:

((Sees Jack lying on the grass.))

%% Guess I better go talk to him. What's he doin lyin on the grass like that, why didn't he come find me? Hope he don't think last night was a mistake. Gotta find out what he thinks of it. %%

((Walks over to Jack, still holding his rifle. Squats down.))

Uh, I reckon this is a one shot thing we got here, hunh? Just while we're up on this mountain.

YOUNG JACK:

%% What the.... a one shot thing? I'll take what I  can get!!!.... but what is he afraid of? %%

Sure, Ennis. But no one's gotta know, ya know. We can keep it ta ourselves.

((Jack looks up hesitantly at Ennis then grabs for the food he had brought up for him.))

Here's some lunch. ((slowly smiles at Ennis)) We didn' have Pastrami or Rye, and I thought you might be a bit sicka beans and bananas.

[cmr107]

YOUNG ENNIS:

((Looks at food Jack brought.))

Thanks bud, bacon is better than beans any day.

((Stares down at the sheep for a minute.))

What I mean is, ya know I ain't queer. I'm gonna marry Alma soon.

[Daniel]

YOUNG JACK:

((nods sullenly))

I ain't queer either. I.... It's not like I do... this.... all the time. I mean....

%% I ain't sure what I mean. Best to jest shut up now I reckon. %%

[Lumière]

YOUNG JACK:

((nods sullenly))

I ain't queer either. I.... It's not like I do... this.... all the time. I mean....

%% I ain't sure what I mean. Best to jest shut up now I reckon. %%

[Meryl]

((On the far outskirts of town, the Highest of all  Priestesses stirs and wakes up))



%% Holy moly, what a weird dream!  I was floating in some sort of plexiglass bubble, but it felt fabulous.   Ouch, what's poking me? %%

((Meryl sits up and plucks off two boulders and a pine tree that are stuck to her back))

%% What the....where am I? %%  ((Memory floods back))   %%  Oh Gawd, it really happened!  I'm really effing fifty feet tall!  And my cellulite is hanging out!  And there's no sun screen!  And---OMG there are people with cameras!  WAHHH!! %%