~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%

[Mikaela]

Cameo by CESAR, AGUIRRE'S PROUD HORSE:


** I can't believe my eyes! Would you look at those two and the way they carry on! Completely uninhibited! No shame! They must think themselves invisible! **


= CESAR is looking with poorly disguised envy at LSP HORSE and MIKA, of course (who else?). They're jumping and kicking and bucking alll over the place. They're free - no ropes or ties binding them down, no fences reining their antics in (since YOUNG ENNIS and YOUNG JACK have been too busy with other matters...... ) =





%% Ah - the freedom of the mountain! How I wish it could be mine! But I'm stuck carrying this pompous sack of potatos around.   %%

[Front-Ranger]

**SQUEEK! SQUEEK! (of leather)**

AGUIRRE: Where's my dam big-ass binoculars, hunh!!!

[Front-Ranger]

AGUIRRE:

Whoa Cesar, Damn U!! Are U developing a lo startle point or sumthun?? I have a mind to wear spurs next time. Settle down & let's hide behind this tree for a second.

%%Gotta think what I can do to make it look like I have a reason to be checkin on these guys, not just general snoopiness. Let's see. . . %%

[alec716]

((JBB brings his ridge down to caress TERRY's rugged 100% cotton flanelette contours. He doesn't know how to say this, but say it he must.))

** Bud, there's sumthin' I bin meanin' to tell ya. I know I've had a whole week ta say some small thing 'bout this but, truth is, I bin hopin' this weren't no one-shot deal we got goin' on here. An' if it ain't then there's sumthin' ya need ta know... ma name ain't JBB, it's... TARQUELLE**

((JBB waits for the raucous laughter he always hears and now anticipates at the mention of the, quite frankly, preposterous moniker he has laboured under these long years. It doesn't come, and JBB is moved almost to tears.))

** Ma Grampy wasn't no understudy ta Sir Laurence Olivier's arse cream. He wuz in the skin elixir business... made serious money... big pots... $100,000 tubs 'n' shit. Ma Daddy sold it ta that L'Oreal fer a small fortune. He ain't never liked me... I was lid-clipped ya see, an' he wasn't... weren't no way ta make it right with him after that. You bet he'd give me something ta get lost. Think about it Terry. Wouldn't never have ta work at the PenteCostCo again. We cud have ourselves a little tube an' tester operation... be a sweet life.**

TERRY CLOTH:

**But why me Bud? Why would ya give up all a that L'Oreal inheritance fer me?**

JBB:

**Because you're worth it...**

(( TERRY CLOTH sits up, a bit startled by L.D. Newsome's JBB's huge equipment family fortune and touched by JBB's honesty.  TERRY CLOTH no longer worries that JBB might be slippery in the wrong way.  TERRY CLOTH is also a bit breathless at the suggestion that the new pair embark upon a life together as a scrap of an old and painful memory warshes over him.  ))


TERRY CLOTH:

**  Two personal hygiene products living together?  No way.  Now we can git  together, ever' once in a while, out in the middle of the Auto Parts aisle...  **

(( TERRY CLOTH, not wanting to dim his love's dreamy smile or burden his creamy mind, silently prays to Walter Walkin' Jesus for a better future with JBB than being featured together in seasonal bathroom displays at the PenteCostCo, playfully chases a laughing JBB out onto the grass.  They fall, wrestle, embrace, and laugh yet more.  ))

[Pipedream]

(( TERRY CLOTH, not wanting to dim his love's dreamy smile or burden his creamy mind, silently prays to Walter Walkin' Jesus for a better future with JBB than being featured together in seasonal bathroom displays at the PenteCostCo, playfully chases a laughing JBB out onto the grass.  They fall, wrestle, embrace, and laugh yet more.  ))

((They believed themselves invisible, not knowing that a jealous Olivia had watched them through her eagle owl eyes for ten minutes, waiting for a good opportunity to carry out her plan...)) 

[Pipedream]

((Then, when nobody expects it, Olivia plunges down and grabs her beloved warshrag...)) 



((...and off she flys with a completely dumbstruck Terry cloth!))  

[Front-Ranger]

AGUIRRE:

%%I should'a told Ma Twist hell no I wouldn't come all the way up ere jes to bring a message about that Uncle Harold. But at least this'll let me check on jes how many sheep they've lost so far, I'm gonn'a take any losses outa their pay, sure as hell!! Or I'll sue their production company, one!!%%

((Spits))

((Reaches for binocs))

[louisev]

((IN-GENIUS COYOTE sees OLIVIA swoop down on TERRY and grab him, suddenly filled with hunger for an OWL snack!))

%%I got to get me a mouthful of that!%%

((With a loud yowl he leaps from his crouch, forgetting all about Aguirre and the passionately mating JACK AND ENNIS, and dashes after OLIVIA.))

LUNCHTIME!

[Front-Ranger]

((AGUIRRE drops binocs like he'd touched fire, grabs the 30-30, brings it up to his squinty eyes, aims, and shoots!))

AGUIRRE'S GUN: POW!!!!!

[Ellemeno]

%% Aguirre's gun's goin' off! %%