I just pored through all of the wonderful comments and posts in LJ and here folks... and I want to thank you all too. It isn't as much because you liked what I wrote, it's more because you relate to it, you understand it, you can decode it... you know why it is there and why these things are, and can appreciate them. The concept of the "karmic mirror" or what another mystic friend of mine has called a karmic reversal, plays an important role here.
My vision of Ennis as he moves, changes and transforms for and with his new lover I am realizing, is a radical and provocative one, because it is not a passive piece of entertainment for a reader. Perhaps like Annie Proulx's original story, it makes a daring challenge to a reader to accept the facts as they are presented, the pain of not only being in the closet but also the pains of growth, the regrets involved in daring to love and be loved, the dynamics of caring. It is, as Jack would say, "no little thing." What this means is that those of you who have signed on to the trip are those who are daring as well, daring to be confronted with the dynamics of love, who have felt these losses or are facing them, and deciding that you have it in you to face them. And for that I am also grateful... that I'm not alone in needing to write about this journey for Ennis.
Now if anyone can explain to me why I had a silly dream where my washing machine broke down and I spent the entire dream telling my little sister to shut up...