Completed Brokeback Limericks!

[Lumière]

Howdy Folks!

Here are the completed Brokeback Limericks from the
"Let's write a Brokeback Limerick" thread (started by saucycobblers - Cheers hun!  ).

I am sure you'll get a kick out of reading these, I know I do! 
We make a heck of a creative team! 

Cheers JennyC for giving me the idea of maintaining a list of completed limericks!
Enjoy!!

(The limericks posted so far are from the first 70 pages..)

[Lumière]

There once was a man named Jack,
He was quite good in the sack,
He said with a grin,
as he wiped off his chin,
That Ennis used to aim for his back!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


There was a young cowboy called Jack,
Who spent summer of '63 on a mountain called Brokeback,
He fancied young Ennis,
and despite Coyotes that were a Menace,
His heart, he would never get back.


##-----------------------------------------------------##


One day out in Signal, Wyoming,
that last ling'ring kiss was still foaming,
Ennis noticed his lost shirt,
His nipples were pert,
which caused Jacks tent to start roaming!

[Lumière]

Your hammerin' quit and git in here
Before you encounter that mean ol' bear,
I'm rollin' and twitchin',
and my arse for you is itchin',
Let me show you how much I care!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


"Jack ain't the rest'rant type.."
For beans he would just gripe,
But he shot him some deer,
And climbed upon his tired mare,
and wondered bout the Fish & Game Hype"


##-----------------------------------------------------##


Milli & Dave have no rythm,
Their timing is sheer cataclysm
But funny as hell,
Their point they do sell,
I certainly ain't gonna dis 'em!

[Lumière]

"I know a place where bluebirds sing"
"The whiskey, it runs as a flowing spring"
"Where the coyotes have balls the size of apples"
"And a drunken, sleepy sheep herder wobbles"
"These are a few of my favourite thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiings"


##-----------------------------------------------------##


Alma was rolled on her belly,
There'd been nothing interesting on the telly,
As Ennis climbed onto her back,
You knew he was thinking of Jack,
And as he came, Jack's name he called freely.


##-----------------------------------------------------##


I'll take you up to Don Wroe's cabin ...
Where we'll do a bit more than just gabbin'
With you, there ain't no need to wring out,
With our guns goin' off we will shout:
Sweet Jesus H!  I am comin'!

[Lumière]

This limerick business is straining.
Just as Ray, I quite feel like complaining!
With no rhythm and rhyme
This ain’t worth not a dime.
Yet, one has to say, it’s entertaining!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


That fateful day outside Aguirre's trailer ...
Ennis wore his best shirt from the tailor,
Jack gazed upon him, a throb in his heart,
Ennis's eyes shot thru him like a dart,
and soon Jack was as horny as a Sailor!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


Jack thought as he looked at LaShawn,
He wish she'd shut up and be gone,
He gave Randall a wink,
Poured himself another drink,
and treated ol' Randall as a pawn.

[Lumière]

The night on the mountain was chilly. 
So jack pulled Ennis's hand to his Willie,
He said with a grin,
Who's gonna begin?
Ennis said, it's my first time, really.


##-----------------------------------------------------##


Our boys were out herding the sheep,
Sometimes they were too horny to sleep,
Jack said with affection,
"Is that an erection?"
"Yes, and it's starting to weep!"


##-----------------------------------------------------##


Ennis sometimes wondered if people could tell,
If in love with a man he once fell,
At the Knife & Fork diner,
Where was his red-liner?
The tears had started to Quell!

[Lumière]

Ennis sometimes wondered if people could tell,
If in love with a man he once fell,
At the Knife & Fork diner,
Where was his red-liner?
For Jack drove lke a bat out of Hell


##-----------------------------------------------------##


Aquire had come up to perve,
The right to peek, he didn't deserve,
He got quite an eyeful,
Then went for a quick pull,
And what a dish the boys did serve!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


"Aw, crap" said old Mrs Twist,
As she wiped off the teary mist,
My cherry cake's gone flat,
I'll surely be blamed for that,
If I hear a word, he gets the fist!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


Jack, I love your eyes and your smile,
I've been checking you out for a while
You make my trunk oh so stiff,
And the world I wish to miff,
For you my love, I'd walk a fiery mile!

[Lumière]

John Twist is always so grumpy.
In his childhood he'd been rather lumpy,
On his son, he took a piss,
Jack's ideas he liked to dis
Cause his love for a guy made him jumpy!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


Jack chose a skittish mare named Cigar Butt,
Who could always avoid a road rut
Not good enough to be a bucking bronco
But the sight of Jack on her made Ennis swallow,
how he envied that horse! Mare? No; - slut!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


'Twas a cold summer night on the mountain
Next to the warm whiskey fountain,
little bluebirds were singin'
And the church bells were ringin'
As his love for Jack did Ennis make plain!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


"What blue eyes you have, Jack" said Ennis,
"Never would I do you a disservice",
"I'll stare into those orbs",
"My entire universe your love perturbs",
"Lord knows your hand belongs on my penis"!

[Lumière]

The log vanished into thin air,
Like the tiniest strand of hair,
But nobody realised,
That Jack's seat the log comprised,
And We thought it's 'cause of the mare!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


"Rodeo cowboys is all fu-kups", said Ennis' dad,
But they're not the only ones he thought were bad;
He hated gays, 'specially Earl and his man Rich,
He was a real sonofabitch,
The worst kinda of father a boy could have Had.


##-----------------------------------------------------##


Lureen wondered why husbands don't dance,
or even try to get in their pants,
She got angry and red,
And DRAGGED Jack to bed,
for escaping there wasn't a chance!!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


The wind on the mountain was blowin'
And the boys they was knowin'
that the best way to take cover,
Was to take a lover,
And spend every Sunday lawn mowin'!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


The wind on the mountain was blowin'
And the boys they was knowin'
that the best way to take cover,
Was to take a lover,
and f*ck him until It'd be snowin'.

[Lumière]

Jack and Ennis made quite a stunning pair,
One being dark and the other quite fair.
Jack's eyes were blue, Ennis' brown,
Jack would smile, Ennis frown,
'Specially when Jack tried to gel Ennis' hair!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


There once was a troll named Aguirre,
Who was known in some circles as a fairy.
He had thousands of sheep
But really liked to peep
'Cause naked men made him merry!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


"I like doin' women, but not like doin' Jack",
Ennis told Alma when he packed his rucksack.
"My man", he said, "Is hung like a donkey!"
"And he sure is good at the honky-tonky",
"I'm surely in heaven when he's on my back!"


##-----------------------------------------------------##


Up on Brokeback, where we pasture the woolies,
where the whiskey is cold and there aren't no bullies,
I fell head over heels for a fellow,
whose underwear was white and yellow,
And contained a huge set of goolies!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


Ennis really believed he was no queer,
But when he'd had too much beer,
And the night had grown cold,
he grew randy and bold,
and mounted young Jack like a Steer!

[Lumière]

One evening Alma was knitting,
While Ennis drank beer while sitting,
And the lil girls played with their dollies,
Ennis daydreamed of Jacks Follies,
Which Jack had not yet thought of quitting.


##-----------------------------------------------------##


What Ennis liked didn't make many babies,
From Alma he got mostly maybes,
But from the back,
She looked just like Jack,
for Ennis no longer liked ladies.


##-----------------------------------------------------##


There once was a gal named Cassie,
Who Alma Jr. thought was too sassy,
Cassie hoped to be "the one"
But Ennis said he was no fun,
And he much preferred Jack Nasty!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


I hear that Texans don't drink no coffee,
but from what I can see, they ain't scruffy.
They claim that bigger is better,
And they sure like it wetter,
always go for that bullriding trophy!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


It ended with a blasted storm from the Pacific,
Said Ennis, "That's not so terrific",
now I have to go marry,
and to leave Jack is Scary.
What a misery! How horrific!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


Jack reached out for Ennis's hand,
and placed it apon his Gland.
"Now I've gotten him this far,
where is that vasoline jar?
Since I've just let him know where I stand....!

[Lumière]

O how I wish I owned Motel Siesta,
instead of my Ford Fiesta.
A little discrete camera I would place,
towards the bed of course it would face,
Home-made porn, what could be betta?


##-----------------------------------------------------##


There once was a man named Monroe,
Who was most prob'ly on the down-low.
He was good with his knife
And had a chatter-box wife,
and probably wished it was Ennis he could Blow!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


L.D.Newsome was a mean son of Bitch,   
With a mind as hollow as a ditch,
When it came to tractors he was King of the Deal,
But to Jack Twist he was anal, for real!
Because his bad behaviour cause poor Jack to Twitch!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


Whiskey's one o' the two things I need right now,
He took a look at Jack and raised an eyebrow,
"The sight of yer buns in those jeans,
makes me horny as hell by all means
For you my love, I'd moooo like a cow!"


##-----------------------------------------------------##


From a small town named Lightnin' Flat,
came a hot cowboy in a black hat,
He packed up his truck,
But he didn't have a buck,
And up in Signal is where his destiny sat!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


They jumped off the cliff stark bollock-naked,
their buns looking like freshly baked,
As they splashed in the water,
Their tackle chilled shorter,
But as soon as they touched, it warmed and awaked

[Lumière]

Lureen was Cowgirl with her sites on our Jack,
She went to him, fear of rejection did she lack,
Jack asked the bartender about this young honey,
And whether she went at it like a frisky bunny,
'Cause he fancied the thought of her nude on her back.


##-----------------------------------------------------##


My sights on you sets my mouth a-drooling,
You make me hot as hell and you know I ain't fooling,
Your lips are softer than a baby's bottom,
all things to turn me on, man, you got'em,
So this heat for you ain't never cooling.


##-----------------------------------------------------##


Lashawn, she was quite the talker,
and it took only one Johnny Walker
To unleash the fury of her tongue,
you'd think you were stepping in Dung,
I know she's hot, but wouldn't want to be her stalker!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


Ol' John Twist loved to keep a spittin' cup,
he belittled Jack since he was a young pup.
He never quite accepted his son's gayness,
and Jack fled him to settle in Childress.
The Ol' geezer went too far!  Bit over the top!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


The reason Jack didn' like beans
Was that he was wearing tight jeans.
The gas he would pass,
From out of his ass,
Would burst the damn thing by all means!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


Ennis del Mar, you randy dandy hunk,
get over here and put off that trunk!
"Love that peachy bottom", Jack growled,
"Less talk and more action please!" Ennis howled,
So into Jack Ennis quickly sunk.

[Lumière]

Jack wants to buy Jimbo a drink
'cause his lonely life's startin to stink
But the clown is unwilling
And Jack's hopes fall from the ceiling,
in less time than it takes him to blink.


##-----------------------------------------------------##


Ennis talked of coyotes as he pulled off his sock,
but he had more than just coyote stories on stock.
He wondered when with handsome Jack he would lay,
thinking that would so make my day,
Only Jack he desired, to hold and kiss and f--k..


##-----------------------------------------------------##


Lureen's hairdresser had so much to do,
He shrieked, "Girl, have I got the do for you!",
Bleach-blonde, you'll take control
A little trim, color, shampoo and roll,
You'll look like Farrah Fawcett No. 2.


##-----------------------------------------------------##


As fireworks glowed in the sky,
Ennis' short temper did fly.
Bikers flew left and right,
Ennis was wound up, ready to fight,
made them give earth-orbiting a good try!


##-----------------------------------------------------##


Ennis gave Jack's cheek a little poke,
and said let's take a nice relaxing soak,
So they stripped down to their drawers,
and embraced each other's flaws,
for they were both as hard as a mighty Oak!

[Lumière]

Joe Aguirrie had 1000 woolies,
that he tried to haul up using pulleys,
but it was so much easier using Ennis and Jack,
because of prowess and strength there wasn't a lack,
though they sometimes got sidetracked by .....follies.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

L.D. is the father-in-law from hell
And Jack sorely wished he could tell
Him to go shove it up his arse
And that the marriage was a farce,
and that only Del Mar'd ring his bell.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Before Jack met Ennis summer of sixty-three,
he dreamed of every Cowboy that he would see.
He loved their walk, their talk, their look,
He'd do anything they wanted, even offer to cook!
But del Mar was the fairest of them all, woo-wee!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

The fire died down on the camp site,
And Ennis shivered all through the night,
while Jack slept warmly inside the tent,
Ennis Hammered loudly with no relent,
and was frozen to death by the first light....

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Jack called out and into the tent Ennis staggered,
where Jack lay in his underwear (checkered)
Up close to Jack he snuggled,
And bodily parts they juggled,
"Tis nobody's business but ours", Jack stuttered!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

When Ennis and Alma got married,
He thought his past with Jack was buried,
and he tried not to show
that he wrang it for Jack twice in a row,
and what big pair of apples he carried!

[Lumière]

Ennis' divorce gave Jack such a thrill,
He jumped into his car, dressed up to kill.
He redlined it straight to Riverton,
'Cause without his love he was hurtin',
But instead a Mexican he had to drill!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

He plotted his herding with pie,
and when he saw Cassie with Karl, he didn't even vie,
His mind replayed that fight by the lake,
It was time to act, there was too much at stake,
Little did Del Mar know, that his love was going to die.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Ennis walked slowly into the tent, his hat in hand
He felt like Alice in Wonderland 
No time was wasted
The Forbidden fruit tasted
And love's juice covered his gland!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

As his cheek brushed the nipple of Jack,
Ennis thought by himself, what the heck
The smell of his skin
Is a little bit thin
And before he knew, he was on his back.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

There once was a lil boy named Bobby,
Who wondered 'bout his Daddy's hobby.
When Bobby was twenty, he fell for a lad named Hugh,
Whose Grandmother once lived in a small house just outside the township, but she used to come into town once a week to do her shopping, it's true,
And they kissed in a posh hotel lobby.

p/s: Ray is responsible for that really looooooooong 4th line! 

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Ennis married, getting a wife
It ended in trouble and strife....
He didn't understand
Why he couldn't land
In a happier place in his life!

[Lumière]

While the dogs baby-sat all the sheep
The love of our boys, it grew deep,
So they didn't notice when they were spied upon by Aguirre,
the boys frolicked openly their passions a-fire!
And their love made hearts a-leap.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Once two cowboys got pissed
And really enjoyed their trysts
They tried to stay together
And weather all weathers
But Jack disappeared to the mist

##-----------------------------------------------------##

The tent on the mountain don't look right
Then came one hot and steamy night ;
Jack and Ennis were mighty horny,
they stemmed the rose that wasn't thorny,
And they went at it until it was first light.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Ennis turned him down, and off he went to Mexico,
Filling up his tank with no-leaded Texaco.
He settled for a dark-haired jigolo,
Who was working some interesting mojo,
And coloured Jack's honour Indigo!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Alma Junior was not impressed,
She didn't even like the way Cassie was dressed.
Her manner was dry,
And she would never pry,
But she noticed her father still seemed depressed.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Ennis was used to rolling his own,
He preferred it to using a cone.
Everytime he fantasized it was Jack he fondled,
No matter how much his mind was all muddled,
He cried, "I am in need of him, how I feel alone".

[Lumière]

Ain't no little thing happenin' here
Even though I say "I ain't queer",
he lamented letting Jack out of his sights,
He was so damn mad, he got into fights,
He just could let go of his irrational fear!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Two scared girls waved from the porch,
He was hot with anger, burning like a torch,
Then a pickup blocked his path,
He lost it and unleashed his wrath
Yeah, Alma's "Jack Twist? Jack Nasty!" words did scorch!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Jack offered a drink to a clown,
but the silly oaf turned him down,
Jack gave him the look,
And played by the book,
"F--k him", said Jack with a frown.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Come with me Ennis, my one and only lover,
Let's play with each other under the cover.
We don't have to make love just now,
But why delay it? Let's do it somehow!
Sure my love! You want me to roll over?

##-----------------------------------------------------##

It was called a love that would never grow old,
Its a love story between two men that must be told.
No holds will ever be barred
Tis a masterpiece forever unmarred,
for never before was a story so bold.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

There once was a barmaid called Miss Cartwright,
her advances towards Ennis were forthright,
Her hands and feet were involved,
as she tried to break Ennis's resolve.
She didn't know of his 'baggage', his plight.

[Lumière]

Poor Joe Aguirrie had some sheep,
That was the only way he earned his keep.
No stemming the rose,
at least none of those,
For he was a real son of a beep

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Jack grew tired of the infrequent couplings,
yet he knew Ennis would never change things,
He longed for the day
He could say: we are gay!
And even make a vow and exchange rings.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

He spat: "No Fuck'n way"
I am going to stay
He flashed his blue ring
An amazing piece of bling,
Then he sent them off to play!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Jack's postcard arrived unexpected
Instantly his attention erected
It couldn't possibly be true,
Oh, Jack, I do love Y-O-U   
The dream of seeing you again, I never rejected.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

The sheep on the mountain were staring
At our boys butts they were baring
They thought: "bloody hell!
And they say that we smell!
It ain't right! But we shouldn't be swearing..."

##-----------------------------------------------------##

I'll probably be back summer of sixty-four,
Of you my friend by then I'll need more
I'll miss your cuisine
You give such good bean
And make such a good butler outdoor!

[Lumière]

He'd never felt so sick in his life,
And just as bad: He'd soon have a wife!
What the hell should he do?
Knowing Jack's love was true
He went sullen with this inner strife.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

I will lay me down with my Ennis tonight,
When all the stars are shining bright,
Nothing could be easier
Than being bawdier.
Tonight is the night I will do him right!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

The snow barely lasted an hour,
Yet Joe issued an order so dour,
Jack began to take down the tent,
Ennis started to vent,
He felt angry, sick; life could be so sour.

[saucycobblers]

Sterling work Lucise. Bravo!

We're nearly up to 1000 posts!  Who'd've thought it?...

[Lumière]

Sterling work Lucise. Bravo!
We're nearly up to 1000 posts!  Who'd've thought it?...

Why, thank you Ms Saucy!    I still got about 30 pages worth of limericks to add ...
Yes, and 1000 posts..who woulda thought it, eh?
 

[Lumière]

Ennis showered and wore his Sunday best,
His shirt was clean and his hair was pressed,
After four long years he'd see
That true to Jack his heart'll always be,
T'was real love, so diff'rent from the rest.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Jack's mother baked a cherry cake that morn',
She hummed, thinking of the day her son was born.
She knew that Ennis would soon be there
He came and she offered him a chair
And Pappa Twist carried on like a raw prawn!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Carving knife electric, rough as guts
Ennis got quite hectic and went nuts
Two angels left behind,
But they didn't mind,
Both Ennis and the turkey suffered bruises and cuts.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Joe hissed, "I ain't got no work for you,"
the dogs worked harder than you two,
I say you chose,
To stem the rose,
Jack didn't argue, 'cause it was true!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

"It could be like this always!" he said,
Dreaming of waking up together in bed,
But Ennis said no,
Jack was shattered, his hopes low,
So he just wrang it out instead!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Your quiet manner is sweet, your smile is heaven
Your face is smooth, especially when shaven,
I want you like I have wanted no other
Make love to me! I need it, brother!
For in you I've found my haven.

[Lumière]

I can't begin to tell you how confused I feel,
I know when you're with me it's such a big deal,
Makin' love to you leaves me breathless,
If we were together, our love would be deathless,
And life would always be on an even keel.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Jack red-lined it to his true love's side
He gave a damn about Ennis' bride.
He couldn't picture Ennis with her,
On to the motel, he wanted to slither,
In a few moments, upon Ennis he sat astride.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Ennis, not big on endearments, called Jack "Little darlin",
He was hot and bothered; his blood rilin'.
Words punched through gritted teeth
Passion boiling underneath
Of Jack, he was thinking of defiling!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Alma's wardrobe was full of rags,
Most were selfmade, without tags
Never hearing of darts
Enduring Ennis' farts...
they were enough to make her gag!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

DavidinHartford is quite mad
And just as mad is Ray, that lad!
Along comes Anke, crazy too,
And silly Milli joins the crew.
I'm so glad they like to be bad!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

I once fell for a rodeo cowboy,
He was sexy and playful and gave me so much joy,
He was irresistible in them tight jeans,
and boy he sure hated Beans!
The sexy stud got me hot everytime he played coy!


##-----------------------------------------------------##

Jimbo the clown missed the ride of his life,
then poor Jack met his future wife.
S'alright .. Jimbo was a bit of a pr!ck,
and Lureen wanted Jacks d!ck,
He thought: Jesus, give me a knife!!!

[Lumière]

 Limerick Interlude!!!

[Lumière]

He was macho, but he loved a pretty rose
So a handsome cowboy was what he chose.
When darkness fell they joined,
and explored each other's loins,
He woke up with Jack's smell in his nose.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

He jumped up as if he had touched fire   
His feelings spiraling higher and higher.
His trunk was stiff,
And high as a cliff,
as their hearts were full of Desire!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Baby girls and a boy were born,
But their lives were still torn.
'Cause one of their own
Could never be sown
And that, 'til death, they both would mourn.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

On the end she tied a little note,
Any chance he wouldn't see it, very remote.
It didn't get wet,
He was too busy with Jack to fret.
and he tried not to come home and Gloat.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

He slowly went up to Jack's bedroom,
Feeling reverant as if in a tomb.
It was tiny, simple and bare,
To the wardrobe he would stare
His tears fell, all he could feel was gloom!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

There once was a brat named Bobby,
Who liked playing in the lobby.
Such an annoying child
Always running wild,
They need to get him a Hobby!

[Lumière]

The sheep on the mountain were sleeping
Aguirre, on horse back, was creeping
Towards the small tent
Where two men lay spent
"Too late!" he howled and started weeping.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Jack Twist wasn't much of a thinker,
At solving probs he was a stinker,
The life he lead sucked
He was constantly bucked
Who can blame him for getting a drinker?

##-----------------------------------------------------##

His hat covered his embarrassed intent,
But they both knew what it meant,
Shirtless was Jack,
Lying on his back,
And at it in silence they went.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

"Asphyxiation" he had never heard,
Wondering how he knew such a complex word,
neither had made it past the 8th grade,
As kids on the farm they had stayed,
To think he knew the meaning, would have been absurd.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Ma Twist was aware of her son's ways,
knowing how her husband felt about Gays.
He'd changed after that summer,
Talked about having met a newcomer,
How he'd never been so happy in all his born days.
 
##-----------------------------------------------------##

When they shared that first kiss,
Both fell into the abyss,
They knew their summer was about to change,
As they observed each other at very close range,
It was paradise, heaven, pure bliss.

[Lumière]

And then there was Green and blue and beige,
Grass, sky, and woolies page after page
See how happy the denizens are!
As we wish on the North Star,
Proulx's Brokeback Mountain is all the rage!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

"You are in a hurry," Jack Twist said,
"I figured we wait till we found a bed!"
In response, she removed her top,
Jack was stunned, too amazed to stop.
And the next thing he knew, they were wed!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

"Stupid mule" an angry Ennis grunted
Because he felt much affronted.
He was dying for a swig of whiskey,
And feeling right frisky,
By a worried Jack, he was confronted.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Summer of sixty-three was mighty precious,
Considering the altitudinous
The air made Jack feel faint,
And horny as hell, he was no saint!
But the tent action sure was luscious!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

'No more beans!' cried gorgeous Jack,
'Drop your jeans!' cried Ennis back.
"I'll show you mine if you show me yours,"
"Fine", said Ennis, "Go on! Drop your drawers!"
And soon their frocks were in a stack.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Jack's jeans, they sure came off easy,
He was horny and dying to get busy!
With Ennis behind,
He was hammered half blind...
And got himself in a right tizzy!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

I once knew a Peeping Tom called Joe
And a-spying he did frequently go.
His favourite sight
In the morning light
Was the "Ennis and Jack Nasty Show!"

[Lumière]

Jack's cooking left much to desire.
he'd spill the beans in the fire.
Ennis didn't care if Jack's cooking sucked,
Jack had an Ass that begged to be....
but he could BBQ a chicken if it were Plucked.
Yet, Ennis' love and body did Jack acquire!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

That terrible day of Thanksgiving,
where everyone involved had a misgiving,
Jack threatened the Stud duck,
And didn't give a flying f***
Because no one was forgiving.


##-----------------------------------------------------##

When Ennis in all his beauty
Had to have Jack's booty,
He'd let go like a wild horse.
Alma wasn't cutting it, he needed a divorce.
But, apart from that, he did his duty!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Water-walking Jesus!  Take me awa-ay-ay!
I'm a tootin' cowboy an' I sure ain't gay-ay-ay!
And if I am a sinner,
Well so was Yul Brynner.
I ain't foolin', God made me this way-ay-ay!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

"Goddammit, this coffee is cold!"
Jacks nights with the sheep were starting to get old.
"I'd kill for a night by the fire with him",
I'd love to get warm from outside and within...
So his member I will always behold

##-----------------------------------------------------##

She divorced him and married Riverton's grocer,
She wanted someone to whom she could get closer.
Her love for Ennis prevailed,
"Jack Twist... Jack Nasty!" she wailed.
She wept bitterly, feeling like a sad loser.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

There once was a peeing sheep,
And what a devoted vigil he did keep!
When he wasn't depositing rivulets
He was checking out the boys' anklets!
And he did this all without a bleat!

[Lumière]

"Ennis, will you marry me?", asked Jack.
"I would," he replied, "but guts I lack!"
"Thats no problem, have another Beer!"
He did and said: "Hell, Jack! C'mere!"
"I love you Ennis!  Let's honeymoon on Brokeback!"

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Spring of 83, Ennis and Jack blissfully wed,
And redlined it to the honeymoon bed.
It was a sight to behold!
Even when it was cold!
In the costume of love they were cled!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Alma bought Ennis some new jammies
From Riverton's newest boutique: Chez Sammy's!
but Ennis never took them when fishing,
Alma's worries persisted, never finishing -
she sighed: Him with Jack Twist, they're my "double whammies!"

##-----------------------------------------------------##

That pup tent is stinkin like cat piss!,
He vented his displeasure with a hiss.
If I slept in the camp,
With you sexy vamp,
your company I sure do miss!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Two shirts are together forever,
A greater love there was never.
One check and one blue,
One of me, one of you
A union that no-one could sever.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Jack saddled his horse for the ride,
His excitement he hardly could hide.
Tonight could be the night,
Everything felt just right,
How he'd lay him, he'd yet to decide...

##-----------------------------------------------------##

The Motel Siesta had a vacancy
'Motel toilet cleaner' hadn't been taken, see?
They jumped onto the creaking bed,
And screwed like they were just wed.
They only came up for air when 'twas time to pee!

[Lumière]

"You better shut yer slop-bucket mouth"
"And while you're there you could head down south" .
"Wanna keep yer teeth? Go on, beg!"
"Well??  Do it! Or I'll break yer leg!"
"Fine!  I warned ya" ... "ow..ow..OUCH!!!" 

##-----------------------------------------------------##

He woke up with a top-grade headache.
Ennis mumbled, "What've I done, for God's sake?
Have my dreams just come true?
I just did it with you!
Hell, I still must be dreaming awake!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Ennis stumbled out of the tent in a daze,
He wouldn't even give Jack a gaze,
He'd enjoyed the night's activities,
Had never experienced such festivies,
He thought, "I aint no queer!  Must be a phase!"

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Jack stood naked by the river,
The friggin cold made him shiver.
"He'll never talk to me again!", he sighed.
But to himself he belied,
there is hope yet, and more than a sliver!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Lureen had talent as a barrel racer,
and when she saw Jack Twist, she became a chaser,
she even uttered the matin' call,
and didn't know how hard she'd fall,
She thought if she came to close Jack would mace her!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Jack and Ennis shared an embrace
that had them both in a complete daze
Ennis savored Jack's musky smell,
And they craved Muscatel
since for THIS occasion, whiskey seemed out of place!

[Lumière]

The blue heelers were on the job,
They were vigilant, tho' they weren't paid a bob.
But their work came with excellent perks;
They worked with two hunks who weren't jerks!
What those dogs got to see makes us squee, swoon and sob!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Jack could feel Ennis' breath on his neck,
His heart was beating wildly beneath his pecs.
With his eyes open wide,
He felt Ennis' rough hands on his side,
and he knew he was in for spectacular sex!   

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Lureen hid Jack's blue parka,
So he'd buy her a Marka.
She was peeved 'cause he was goin' fishing,
And she was truly wishing
That he'd stay home and ---k her!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

The minister was aching to kiss the bride,
Heck, could be his last chance for such a ride.
He thought: man, she is hot!
But the groom thought: She's not!
Bad news really on either side!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Pa Del Mar's driving was lousy,
That whiskey had made him drowsy.
Oooops! Was that the one curve?
but he was mean and this he did deserve.
But poor Mrs del Mar, so frail, tiny and mousy!

[Lumière]

Far away from the grieving plain
A man named Ennis hid his pain.
Then along came Jack who had a plan,
He knew for Ennis, he was The Man!
Their sweet mountain life felt right as rain.....

##-----------------------------------------------------##

He found twin shirts hanging in the closet,
Into Mrs. Twist's bag the shirts he did deposit,
He wept for Jack, missing him so bad.
The shirts his remembrance of what they'd had,
His tears fell, his eyes leaking like a dripping faucet.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Ennis was muscular, lean as a clothes-pole,
He couldn't rock, but he sure could roll,
Jack was thin and could buck and twist,
and when he first saw Ennis, he couldn't resist
He was blown away, mind, body and soul!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Ennis was dizzy, drunk and on all fours,
when he let his love for Jack run its course.
He was tired, sleepy, horny and drunk,
and into the cozy tent he would plunk,
Knowing Jack would always be his horse.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

The distant mountains beckoned them,
To their powerful greatness, they would succumb
Kneeling to the kind of love
That is pure like a white dove.
The rose they continued to stem.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

His aim was bad, Ennis knew how Jack sucked,
"If I don't shoot an elk," Ennis thought, "we're phukt.
So Ennis pulled out his big gun, "Gonna Shoot!",
"No more beans for dinner", he said with a hoot,
So tent games they began to conduct

[Lumière]

The year was 1967,
Jack was meeting Ennis behind the 7/11.
They kissed like mad
What a great time they had!
Having on earth a bit of heaven!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

When he dreamed of Ennis, he broke into sweat
since he was the hottest guy Jack'd ever met,
so sportive and lean
(although too fond of beans).
Ennis made his lusty dreams vivid, wild, and wet!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

The best part of Ennis? Jack grinned,
Is that he finally sinned!
Within a dark tent,
He pounded Jack till he was spent.
They were sad when it came to an end.

[Lumière]

I can't smell no roses, said Jack
'Quit talking boy!' growled Ennis, 'On yer back!'
Jack's breathing quickened as he obeyed,
And in that position he stayed
He was blown away by Ennis' prowess in the sack!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

The boys reunited in the stairwell,
They could both feel their crotches swell,
Their lips then met,
The kiss was quite wet,
they were re-defining the term "a hard sell".

##-----------------------------------------------------##

They fell into the small motel bed,
Body to body, head to head
Naked as the day they were born,
They made love till they were worn.
Their sexual hunger had been fed.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

A lone cowboy arrives in Signal Wyoming,
All his life he's been roaming.
All his possessions in a brown paper bag,
self-conscious, too serious, not planning to brag
For love will follow the gloaming.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Tenderly, they held each other in the dark
but heartache had already left its mark.
So many hopes crushed, words unsaid
dreams gone pale, plans left for dead
As they listened to the sad tunes of a distant lark.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

I wish to punch Jimbo the Clown
for making Jack feel sad and down.
Who the hell does he think he is?
Well, a homophobe, that's hard to miss......
So he should be run out of town.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

What in the hell happened to August?
What do I do now with my lust?
with Randall its just not the same,
He's femme and weak and tame.
Searching for Ennis is now a must.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

We don't know much about Fayette,
She was quiet and submissive, I'd bet.
You knew she doted on Lureen,
whom she treated like a queen,
Her only mistake - not taking LD to the Vet.

[Lumière]

A Limerick Interlude!!   

[Lumière]

I think I'll shoot one of the sheep
It could be a secret we can keep
I'll make you such a meal
What d'you say?  It's a deal?
Yes! I'll end up in a satisfied heap!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Jack and Randall sat on the bench
Neither thinking about a wench.
Nor of fishing, truth be told
Randall thought: shall I be bold?
'Cuz this Jack, he's quite a mensch.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Rodeoin' aint like it was in my Pa's day,
But I'll ride more than bulls, if I have my say
Don't matter if he's clipped or not
As long as he is smokin' hot!
You'll not stop me then! Just get out of my way!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Them lucky sheep sure got an eyeful
when Jack and Ennis got playful
The moans they must've heard,
overheated the herd
Especially when, of Jack, Ennis took a mouthful.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Ennis took his daughters to town,
When he was with them, never a frown.
He bought them ice cream
They were quite the splendid team
For with his girls he could smile like a clown.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

I'll make him eat the phukin' floor,-
he screamed, - and then ran for the door
Now what?  Alma she knew!
He raced down to the Black and Blue,
Ennis couldn't hide his love for Jack any more.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Ennis said "Jack, I'm so horny
And at the risk of sounding corny
You got the best-looking toosh I ever saw.
Now listen, I'll lay down the law
We walk this road together, 'tis our journey!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Ennis learned the news via the US mail
He was crushed, his heart 'bout to fail.   
That one word "Deceased"
Was crushing, he couldn't be appeased.
'Twas a sad, tragic end to their tale.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Jack made Ennis smile so very wide,
They were at their best when they were side by side.
In midday sun or late at night,
when Jack washed clothes it was quite a sight,
They were together as long as they could ride.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

He fumbled with his belt buckle, breathing hard   
was bettin' everything on this one card:
Removing it, his bottom was bare,
Ennis wasn't running, that means he did care!
Betwixt them no holds were barred!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Damn!  It ain't  like this with girls,
said Jack, as he kissed Ennis' curls.
I love everything about you from head to toe,
Next time, let's do it nice and slow
When you kiss me, my whole world swirls!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

I'd love to be Ennis' warsh rag
Be almost as good as a long shag
All over his face, arms, legs and d**k     
A lil' water, a bit of clear slick...
I'd savor his taut muscles, def'nitely no sag...

[Lumière]

Young Ennis was highly attractive
and Jack Twist was Ennis-reactive
They were handsome young bucks,
Yearning hard for some f*cks ,
their days on the mountain were Active!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

It's Saturday, we could smarten up,
Let's go to the church social after we sup.
We'll be polite, and nod and smile
Even to those who happen to be vile.
Jack'll swirl in the hot dark o' my coffee cup.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

The fireworks lit up the night sky
The children didn't even cry
Ennis drew some blood
Dealing with some crud
Helping bikers learn to fly

##-----------------------------------------------------##

This lad named Ennis was from Sage,
He hardly spoke, but he was full of rage,
Got himself engaged to a lass called Alma,
and they planned a very simple wedding gala,
but after that he felt trapped in a cage.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Poor lil Jenny suffered from asthma
Continual wheezing made her feel blah
The poor little thing,
So much suff-er-ing,
For her as well as her Ma and Pa.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

There was a Grocer named Monroe,
who understood Alma's woe,
He wanted a piece
of her to release,
and couldn't wait to become her beau.


Ennis snapped, "I came upon a bear!",
"All we got is beans", he said in despair,
Jack said, "Let's have mutton!"
Ennis frowned, still cute as a button
And at Jack's crotch he had to stare!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

'Twas fun at Don Wroe's cabin, like a honeymoon
Like newlyweds in the month of June.
Making love was all they did,
'Cause it was their id
That gave 'em the sex drive of a baboon.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Jimbo surely thought 'bout it twice
Cause Jack, no doubt, was kinda nice!
He'd be deeply sighing
Jack was desperate, horny, dying...
But Jimbo was scared, so'n Scheiß!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Monroe is kind hearted but dorky
And also a little bit porky
He loves his pipe
And the floor he may wipe
At the local diner Knife & Forky!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

As Ennis washed the pots and pans,
The horizon he still scans;
He saw Jack, wishing he could be with him
Maybe he'll ride down on a whim
Ennis watched intently, Jack deserved more than a glance.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

I wouldn't mind sleeping out there,
Them coyotes better beware!
For I got a gun
And it would be fun,
come with me if you dare!

[Lumière]

Jack can certainly peel a potato
Dreaming of his inamorato
He whips off that peel
Preparing the meal
While staring at Ennis's Tomatoes!
 

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Ennis's clothes were very, very dirty
But it never stopped Jack from being flirty
"I could wash them if you like?"
"But I'd really rather ride you like a bike!"
"Cos Jack, you are sooo purty!"

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Jack's truck approached in the distance,
Ennis looked up, throwing a glance
At this cute young cowboy
and at once hatched a ploy
But reconsidered, 'With him, I got no chance!"

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Jack pounded the shirt with a big stick,
While dreaming of a big dick
As he recalled the night before
He knew he wanted an encore
Twas what he wanted to touch, grab and lick.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Ennis could've had Jack all those years
Instead he married Alma Beers
Together they stayed
And two children they made
But there was more sorrow than cheers.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

The stud duck refused to let Jack's ashes go,
So Ennis left the house in sorrow,
Clutching a brown paper bag,
Suppressing the urge to gag,
As the tears fell, he kept his down, low.


"I might head over to my daddy's place,"
A hopeful Jack stressed the "might" just in case
Ennis grunted, "I'll see ya around"
'Cause his feelings he kept underground
And his cowboy-hat covered his face.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

"Whoa, whoa...It aint gonna be that way,"
Ennis said to Jack's dismay.
He broke Jack's heart.
That wasn't so smart!
Jack had hoped Ennis would say: "I'm gay!"

[Lumière]

BBM Limericks 1000 Posts Celebration!


We can celebrate with some of our Completed Limericks: 

[Lumière]

When Eniss had moved in the tent
His hand to Jack's groin it did went
Jack grabbed him with glee
Said, get on your knee
I sure didnt know you were bent.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

There were two boys from Wyoming
Who tended the sheep that were roaming
Then on the cold nights
Their love reached new heights
And the sheep couldnt sleep for the moaning..

##-----------------------------------------------------##

They said their goodbyes thru the tears
And left with their own hidden fears
Then a card came by post
Said "I miss you the most"
And they met after four fuckin years....

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Jack sure fancied Jimbo the Clown,
and got very upset when he was turned down,
So Jack settled for Lureen,
who was a Rodeo queen,
And they created a home uptown.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

'I can't wait till August', Jack cried
'My nuts ache so much I near died',
I need you every day,
my life is in so much dismay
I want to be your bride!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

I'd pay Jack and Ennis to live with me,
It would fill me with so much glee
We'd play the whole day,
Or I could just watch 'em both play
As could others - for just a small fee!


I sure wish I was Ennis's warsh-rag,
I'd touch all his bits, the young Stag!
I'd go all round his nethers
As gentle as with feathers
and for his pole I'd be the flag.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Sheep were mixed up on the mountain,
They got all confused with the countin'
As Jack dragged sheep around,
Putting them on separate ground
He wished on him Ennis was mountin' .

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Lureen was acting like a slut
She was a hot rodeo queen, but
She was in a hurry
She didn't even have time for a curry.
She wanted to get straight down and rut

##-----------------------------------------------------##

"Sheep sure are stupid" said Jack
All sense of direction, they lack,
Thankgod we have the dogs to help us,
Otherwise Aguirre'll start to fuss.
and we are not in a hurry to go Back!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

They said they were goin out fishin
But it certainly wasnt their mission
Lines did not get wet
And they dont need the net
They just wanted to try new positions..

##-----------------------------------------------------##

When Ennis and Jack were in bed
Carrying on like they waz wed
He turned Jack on over
And even with a hangover
He proceeded full speed ahead.

[Lumière]

I went looking for this thread ..
Dang, I never got to finish updating the completed limericks here .. 
Wish I had more time ..

[ifyoucantfixit]

         Thanks a million Milli.  I love having these all together...they are wonderful