Author Topic: Where did you learn about BetterMost?  (Read 26680 times)

Offline Drew Kerrigan

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Re: Where did you learn about BetterMost?
« Reply #10 on: February 22, 2006, 02:48:32 am »
I saw your post in IMDB too! I have an account there but I rarely use it... ;)
"In religion. I believe in God, in science, in Sunday supper. I don't believe in rules that tell me how I should live."
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Offline Phillip Dampier

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Re: Where did you learn about BetterMost?
« Reply #11 on: February 23, 2006, 02:40:35 pm »
Welcome emjayen and Drew.

We're still picking up two or three new users most days, which is fine.  Special thanks to both of you for participating.  For everyone else lurking out there, don't be shy.  Say hello and join the conversation!
You're a part of our family - BetterMost, Wyoming

IdahoLonely

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Re: Where did you learn about BetterMost?
« Reply #12 on: February 25, 2006, 09:10:29 pm »
Hello. I learned about your web-site from IMDB Brokeback forum. I saw your message there. I decided to come here because IMDB has so many messages and they are all obsesing about the movie itself and thats not what I need. I need to know what the heck do I do with what I am feeling inside. I am read through the messages here and you are very brave to do your web-site and be open with yourslef and everyone else. I wish I could be more like that. I also want to say you write real well and I dont so I'm sorry if I am not a good writer. I will try to write anyway. I think I have to.

Offline Phillip Dampier

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Re: Where did you learn about BetterMost?
« Reply #13 on: February 26, 2006, 10:15:43 pm »
Quote
I decided to come here because IMDB has so many messages and they are all obsesing about the movie itself and thats not what I need. I need to know what the heck do I do with what I am feeling inside. I am read through the messages here and you are very brave to do your web-site and be open with yourslef and everyone else. I wish I could be more like that. I also want to say you write real well and I dont so I'm sorry if I am not a good writer. I will try to write anyway. I think I have to.

First, welcome Chris.  It is actually nice to find someone that actually lives in the general vicinity of the story.  I'm sure those of us who want to know more about western living have just found someone to act as our resource!  IMDB has been an amazing place for a lot of us, if only because of the sheer number of people who have found comfort from literally thousands of fellow BBM'ers all trying to sort this out.  I am hoping that BetterMost's angle of helping people get beyond the movie itself, and what I hope will be a more intimate environment for us to be open with one another will really make people comfortable.  I appreciate your comments very much, and please do not worry about being a great writer.  In seeing your other posts, I actually found them -more heartening- just because your writing style includes a lot of what I assume is the color and language of Idaho and Wyoming.  It makes me feel more -of you- than I would if you wrote something sterile and without feeling.

You are a very important contribution to our home and I welcome you.
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Offline iristarr

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Re: Where did you learn about BetterMost?
« Reply #14 on: February 27, 2006, 12:45:49 am »
I heard about it on the IMDb board and welcomed a chance to go beyond the specifics of the film and into the ways in which it is affecting the viewers.  Now I'm wondering if I've wandered in the wrong door when I read posts from folks who would like this to be a site exclusively for the gay male community. I have been personally deeply affected by BBM, but I am a straight woman of senior age and don't wish to go where I'm not wanted.  Please assure me this is not so, and give me hope that others of my gender and orientation may be drawn here too.  I'm perhaps hoping for the impossible. :(
Ennis and Jack, the dogs, horses and mules, a thousand ewes and their lambs flowed up the trail like dirty water through the timber and out above the tree line into the great flowering meadows and the endless coursing wind.

Offline Phillip Dampier

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Re: Where did you learn about BetterMost?
« Reply #15 on: February 27, 2006, 12:56:23 am »
I heard about it on the IMDb board and welcomed a chance to go beyond the specifics of the film and into the ways in which it is affecting the viewers.  Now I'm wondering if I've wandered in the wrong door when I read posts from folks who would like this to be a site exclusively for the gay male community. I have been personally deeply affected by BBM, but I am a straight woman of senior age and don't wish to go where I'm not wanted.  Please assure me this is not so, and give me hope that others of my gender and orientation may be drawn here too.  I'm perhaps hoping for the impossible. :(

This isn't a site exclusively for gay males at all Iris.  In fact, we've just launched a forum exclusively for women tonight.  Pardon the dust as we continue to build the site.  In looking over the roster of users, I am seeing several handles from those I'd assume to be women, and we want this place to be just as useful to you folks as well.  Be sure to keep an eye on the Ladies Corner forum.  Yeah, the name is terrible so I'm hoping we can get some more creative ideas.  BBMGrandma will be your tour guide and moderator in that forum as she gets it off the ground this week.   :)

Just because the guys are being more vocal right now doesn't mean this site isn't equally open to women.  In fact, it has been my experience that most of the people "getting" this movie are straight women and gay men, so I'd be shooting myself in the foot if I excluded such a large group!

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Offline BBMGrandma

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Re: Where did you learn about BetterMost?
« Reply #16 on: February 27, 2006, 03:56:03 am »
I heard about it on the IMDb board and welcomed a chance to go beyond the specifics of the film and into the ways in which it is affecting the viewers.  Now I'm wondering if I've wandered in the wrong door when I read posts from folks who would like this to be a site exclusively for the gay male community. I have been personally deeply affected by BBM, but I am a straight woman of senior age and don't wish to go where I'm not wanted.  Please assure me this is not so, and give me hope that others of my gender and orientation may be drawn here too.  I'm perhaps hoping for the impossible. :(

Dear IRIS.....you are most definitely wanted!!  Please come join us in the WOMENS forum and let it out.  It's such a wonderful place to discuss our feelings...together.  I am ALSO a senior woman....greatly affected by 'our' movie. 
"If we never dream....we'll never have a dream come true"   (me...myself...and I)

Offline Thomas M. Witherspoon

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Re: Where did you learn about BetterMost?
« Reply #17 on: February 27, 2006, 12:54:49 pm »
I found your post on imdb.com, an inviting prospect when looking at all the troll postings there! :)

Jack, in his dark camp, saw Ennis as night fire, a red spark on the huge black mass of mountain.

Offline kula

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Re: Where did you learn about BetterMost?
« Reply #18 on: February 27, 2006, 05:42:13 pm »
Also found your post from IDMb to be very inviting.  I especially found the BBM Radio music to be refreshing and very relaxing.  I'm not the most eloquent or expressive person around, but great job on the forums so far. ^_^

Offline iristarr

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« Reply #19 on: February 27, 2006, 11:37:09 pm »
Nancy, thanks for your welcoming words, and the sweet pic of "our boys."  I'm so totally jazzed that there are people like you, and a place like this, to make my home.  I'm a woman of 75 years, born and raised in Berkeley.  Right across the Bay! I grew up shy and solitary in some ways, never dated in high school (until a stroke of luck just before graduation, when I was asked to the senior prom.)  The first boys in my life were a couple of years before that.  I used to travel on the F train to SF several times a week to take ballet lessons at the SF Ballet School when it was on Van Ness, right across from the Opera House.  I discovered that one could sometimes usher there (at the OH) , so I signed on for that and it was there that I met my first boy friends.  Three boys, 17 years old, from Castlemont High school in Oakland, who loved the ballet, the symphony, the opera.  From then on I practically lived over there every chance I got.  We had so much fun together, walking all over SF, taking the train back late at night (my blessed mother coming to pick me up at the end of the line).  Of course these boys were "gay" although that word had no homosexual connotations in 1946.  They were just my first sweet loves, and I understood on some level their sexual preferences, it was never spoken of and didn't make any difference whatsoever.  I had found my "circle."

Well, years passed, my hormones finally kicked in, men came, I married once, divorced, married again. No children.  By 1960 I was alone to explore the SF jazz scene, inter-racial affairs, many men, much unhappiness and confusion.  No idea what I was doing with my life.

I'm not going to try to bring this life story all up to date just now, but Brokeback Mountain -- oh my God, how it has released a lifetime of tears, memories, connections, understandings, dreams, moments of transformation.  I have been working (on some depression issues) with a therapist for about six months.  She's very enthusiastic and supportive of the process I seem to be undergoing with BBM.  All the addictive behaviors, the obsession, the listening to the CD over and over, seeing "the movie" once a week, living on the IMDb boards, neglecting my laundry and housekeeping, coming to understand the incredible depth of that masterpiece. I've got so much more to spill out, but maybe this is a good start.
I know I'm in good company here, and look forward to hearing more of your process, and sharing mine.
Peace, Elaine (aka Iristarr) 
Ennis and Jack, the dogs, horses and mules, a thousand ewes and their lambs flowed up the trail like dirty water through the timber and out above the tree line into the great flowering meadows and the endless coursing wind.