Author Topic: Did you grow up in a family like Ennis' or Jack's?  (Read 6753 times)

Offline Kerry

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Re: Did you grow up in a family like Ennis' or Jack's?
« Reply #10 on: November 13, 2008, 07:00:39 pm »

 :-* {{{ David }}}  :-*
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Offline Artiste

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Re: Did you grow up in a family like Ennis' or Jack's?
« Reply #11 on: November 14, 2008, 12:04:26 am »
I am looking forward to more voters too please, as well as such interesting posts as herein and futur varied ones !!

Offline ednbarby

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Re: Did you grow up in a family like Ennis' or Jack's?
« Reply #12 on: November 18, 2008, 08:36:26 pm »
My Dad left my Mom when I was three.  Actually, she asked him to leave - it's not that he took off on her.  They were separated for many years before they finally legally divorced.  I don't think they thought they might get back together again - they just didn't get around to it.

Neither of my parents had a college education.  My Dad enlisted in the Air Force right out of high school.  My Mom took a six-week secretarial course somewhere or other, but that was the extent of her higher education.  They did both graduate from high school, though, with decent grades.

I lived with my Mom and two older brothers.  Mom started drinking heavily when I was about five, not to the point of being abusive, just neglectful.  She pretty much was in the bag by about 2:00 p.m. every day, and then passed out on the living room couch until long past dinner time.  One of my older brothers molested me repeatedly from the ages of 5 until about 9.  I never used to believe in "repressed memory syndrome," figuring I remembered every time and it was only a few.  Then Brokeback Mountain came along.  I couldn't figure out why I related to Ennis so strongly until I finally had an epiphany on about my 20th viewing.  All the horrible memories came flooding back.  It wasn't a few times - it was probably every day.  I never told my Mom, but my other brother knows because he caught him at it one day and beat him to within an inch of his life, telling him if he ever touched me again, he'd kill him.

I'd like to just add that my Mom was a great mother to the three of us until she started drinking.  I remember her being a Den Mother for my brothers' Cub Scouts troops, making Christmas ornaments by hand, coloring eggs and making us elaborate baskets for Easter, always doing "arts and crafts" with us, doing her own watercolor painting which was really quite good, reading to us constantly...  And even through all of her mistakes, and she made some bad ones, I don't think any one of us ever doubted her love for us.

My Dad wasn't around much in my early life - he met a new girlfriend about a year after my parents split up who is now my stepmother and has been for about 35 years.  He came around at Christmas and on our birthdays, but other than that, we didn't see him.  He more than made that up to me when he took me in at 13 after my Mom went into rehab (for the second time).  He was very generous about taking me to see her every weekend and holiday, and for two weeks in the summer, even though she lived about an hour's drive away.  Once she was sober again, she and I became extremely close.  I could tell her anything, and did.  She was my best friend until the day she died when I was 26.

There's a Green Day song called "Tales From Another Broken Home" that really resonates with me.  Not nearly as much as Brokeback, but it's up there.

I don't wish my parents had stayed together - they did nothing but yell at each other in the end, my Mom said.  I don't remember it, but my brothers do.  I will say that to this day, yelling really upsets me, even though I don't consciously remember ever hearing any while growing up. 
No more beans!

Offline ednbarby

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Re: Did you grow up in a family like Ennis' or Jack's?
« Reply #13 on: November 18, 2008, 08:48:38 pm »
"Two parents (at least one college educated) like Jack and Lureen's"

Both my parents were college educated, and both fairly religious (Roman Catholic). We went to Mass each Sunday and on Holy Days, observed all the various Catholic customs, prayers etc. Unlike Jack's family, both of my parents were alcoholics. Mom died an alcoholic, and dad finally gave it up about 10 years ago.

I have only one sister.

Wow, David.  I hadn't read the other posts yet before posting mine.  Again, it's scary-crazy how much alike we are.  My Mom eventually replaced alcohol with pills, and though the cause of her death was ruled as "heart failure" (without an autopsy), I seriously believe she accidentally OD'ed.  My Dad had been a heavy smoker and drinker in his early 40s, but gave up smoking cold turkey at 42 and drinking the same way in his 50s.  He said he just didn't like the way either thing made him feel anymore.  He had started smoking at the age of 15.

My relationships with my brothers in my adult life have always been strained, as you might imagine.  We never talk about it (maybe we should...), but it's always the proverbial elephant in the room.  Actually, I did talk with my oldest brother about it about five years ago (the one who stopped it, not the one who did it).  It was only then that I learned that he had put a stop to it in a more direct way than I had thought.  He said nothing at the time, but it never happened again.  I always thought he did nothing, too, and that the other one was just embarassed that he knew.

It just goes to show you - the truth is always the way.  If only I'd known that years and years ago, I might have had a very different relationship with that oldest brother.

No more beans!

Offline Lynne

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Re: Did you grow up in a family like Ennis' or Jack's?
« Reply #14 on: November 18, 2008, 09:06:08 pm »
Hey there {{{{{{Barb}}}}}}...

I owe you a PM, Friend.  Sorry for being incommunicado.

I also want to post in this thread, but I don't have my thoughts gathered sufficiently yet.

It's cogitating... ???
"Laß sein. Laß sein."

Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: Did you grow up in a family like Ennis' or Jack's?
« Reply #15 on: December 01, 2008, 01:42:03 pm »
Thanks everyone for your family stories. Looking forward to yours, Lynne!
"chewing gum and duct tape"