Here are two questions that were asked to me by The Daily Sheet staff on DCF, and my answers.
Why are you grateful for Brokeback Mountain ~ what changes have taken place in your life that are in some way related to the film. Have friendships grown as a result?“Brokeback Mountain set me into motion. For a very long time, I was all about the status quo. Change was bad. It was when I saw Ennis alone in that trailer at the end of the movie, that I realized the status quo was not helping me in any way. I’ve become more of a participant in life, instead of a voyeur. I’ve become more outspoken, more self-assured, more focused on issues. I allowed myself to have my first real relationship; I’ve become politically motivated and canvassed neighborhoods on behalf of the Obama campaign. I also attended the ‘No on Prop 8’ rallies on Nov. 15th.
“Friendships have been fantastic here [on the forum] for me. I’ve met people from around the globe, and plan on meeting more. There is a kinship here for me that I feel on some level was missing from my life. While I do have great friends here in New Jersey with me, they are straight, and while they are supportive of me, I feel the members of the forum are not only supportive, they truly understand my feelings.”
Are your family and friends supportive of changes that you’ve made over the last 3 years ~ are they aware of the impact that the movie has had on your life?“My family and friends have known about the Dave Cullen Forum since I first joined. They were initially worried about my involvement, my friends joked about hosting an ‘intervention’, but since they’ve seen the pics and videos and heard stories of all the places I’ve gone in the almost 3 years since the movie has come out, they are 100% supportive.
“I have posted this story before, rather recently, but I’ll tell it here again. When the Texas BBQ was about to happen, my mother couldn’t understand how close we all were. She admitted that she didn’t ‘get it.’ Not long after that event, DCF member Conny sent me a copy of her DVD of that event. The day it arrived, I played it on my computer. Mom happened to be around, and she sat down and watched it with me. She watched the ‘hellos’ and hugs, and all the laughing and drinking and dancing. Then the goodbyes came, and she watched us holding on to each other and crying. I turned to her, and could see tears in her eyes, and this was her response:
“‘I’m crying watching this, and I wasn’t even there. I can’t imagine what you all went through. I didn’t ‘get it’ before, but now I do.’”
I first heard about Brokeback in October of 2005. I had signed on to Yahoo, and in the news section that had the headline "Gay Cowboy Movie wins Golden Lion Award".
I immediately clicked the link, and read about Brokeback Mountain, and quotes from Heath and Jake about the roles they took on. At the end of the article was a link to the trailer for the movie.
From that moment, I was hooked, and counted down the days to when the movie was going to open in NJ.
I work for a bank, and on that year, Christmas fell on a Sunday. Because of that, we were closed on Monday (Dec. 26th) and I had no plans. I was determined to see Brokeback. All my friends were working that day, so I had intended to see it alone. My mom was off work, and offered to come with me.
We went to the movie, thinking that we would have no problems getting seats. We were wrong! The line was out the door, and most of the viewings were sold out. We got into the showing we wanted, but only by sitting in the first row, slipping down in the seats.
I knew the movie was based on Annie's short story, but I had not read it. I usually enjoy the book over the movie, and I didn't want to ruin the movie for myself, so I decided not to read it until after the movie. As a result, I didn't know about the tire iron scene. My initial reaction was to clam up. My mom was in the seat next to me, and she has told me she fears a Matthew Sheppard attack on me, and if I had broken down at that point, it would've upset her. So I had to shut down from that point on.
I made the decision I would be taking all my straight friends to see this movie. As a result, I had no one to talk to about it, and I went online to find out whatever I could on Brokeback.
Google pointed me to the Dave Cullen forum, and I joined that night, a few hours after seeing the movie for the first time.
In under three years, I've been to 12 states, and the UK. Before BBM, I was a homebody. I've done stuff I've never done before. Gone on hay rides, ridden horses, danced the Virginia Reel and learned to two-step. Met friends all around the world.
I've exchaged phone numbers, addresses, emails, presents, ornaments, and done so much.
I went from being the oldest child in my family, to being "adopted" and am now the "baby" of 5 "Brokie Brothers" (ShakesTheGround, SouthEndMD, RobInPuyallup & LoneLeeB3). These 4 guys have no idea how much that means to me.
This Brokie adventure has had many benefits to me, and that's why I keep coming back, and will always.
Have there been "bumps" in the road? Sure. But the positives waaaaaaaaaay outweigh the negatives.
