Ennis's second visit to the Twist ranch

[Marc]

My third BBM short story is "Ennis's second visit to the Twist ranch."  It's posted here:

    marc-r.livejournal.com          no w's

All three of my stories are posted on that page, in this order:

1.  Ennis's second visit to the Twist Ranch

    This is the new one.  Ennis and Jack's mother talk about their loss.  It gets emotional.

2a.  Jack and Randall go to the lake, part 1
2b.  Ditto, part 2

      The stories are partially obscured by the Adult Content warning, which is richly justified.  This is Jack and Randall's first weekend together.  The first half is sex.  A friend said I had a bright future as a pornographer.  In the second half, Jack talks about Ennis.

3.  Jack and Ennis fix 1963

     A romantic interlude.  Jack talks about what happened when he drove away after their summer on Brokeback.

All stories are one-shot canons.  Perhaps that's a stretch for new story since it takes place after the film ends, but the concept is applicable.

Any and all comments are welcome.

[Artiste]

Merci Marc!

That's interesting!

More please...
telling us about you too?

Au revoir,
hugs!

[Marc]

The comment "interesting" brings back these memories from Johnny Carson.

He said that when someone shows you a picture they've painted, and you think it's awful, you say "interesting."

When someone shows you pictures of their child, and you think the kid's homely, you say "You must be very proud."

When you see a friend in a play, and you think his acting is terrible, you tell him, "You were never better."

So imagine my queasiness when the first person to read my story calls it "interesting."

I thought it was funny and I appreciate the post.  And my God, those pictures.  You want to take both guys home and cuddle with them forever. 

[Kelda]

Hi Marc!

Nice to meet you!

[Marc]

Let me respond to Artiste's kind invitation to say more about myself.

Age:  57.  I grew up in Palo Alto, which could be the perfect town to grow up in.

Orientation:  $3 bill

Status:  single

Occupation:  analyst with San Francisco city government's Purchasing Dept.

Interests:  bridge and movies.  I used to read.  I went though a Sudoku phase earlier this year, but on the Sudoku site is Word Ferret, which I've switched to. 

I predict I'll retire from the City 2.5 to 4.5 years from now.  I'm taking classes in UC Berkeley Extension's English as a Second Language program.  With luck, I'll land that kind of job after I retire.  It would be fun to work in Eastern Europe, but I've heard that employers want native Brits, which is smart.  The big demand seems to be in China, Korea, China, Japan and China.  I dread the prospect of having to learn a new way of writing -- a new language will be tough enough.  But a teacher said the demand in the Bay Area is expected to grow 30% in the next five years, so may be I can stick around here.

If you're ever in town, PM me and we can do lunch.

[Artiste]

Bonjour Marc !

Wow, what a surprise, since I did live too in or near Palo Alto: Redwood City!
Can that count?

I am puzzled as to your nationality, after reading what you wrote.
I would be happy to read more about you... as you please!

Au revoir,
hugs!

[Lynne]

Let me respond to Artiste's kind invitation to say more about myself.

Age:  57.  I grew up in Palo Alto, which could be the perfect town to grow up in.

Orientation:  $3 bill

Status:  single

Occupation:  analyst with San Francisco city government's Purchasing Dept.

Interests:  bridge and movies.  I used to read.  I went though a Sudoku phase earlier this year, but on the Sudoku site is Word Ferret, which I've switched to. 

I predict I'll retire from the City 2.5 to 4.5 years from now.  I'm taking classes in UC Berkeley Extension's English as a Second Language program.  With luck, I'll land that kind of job after I retire.  It would be fun to work in Eastern Europe, but I've heard that employers want native Brits, which is smart.  The big demand seems to be in China, Korea, China, Japan and China.  I dread the prospect of having to learn a new way of writing -- a new language will be tough enough.  But a teacher said the demand in the Bay Area is expected to grow 30% in the next five years, so may be I can stick around here.

If you're ever in town, PM me and we can do lunch.

Hi there, Marc!

Welcome to BetterMost!  Thanks for telling us a little about yourself.  We've got a pretty large group of Brokies in the Bay area.  I lived out there (east of Oakland, sadly) for about six months a couple of years ago before work took me up to Seattle, then back to the Southeast.  Some of my best Brokie times ever were in San Francisco.  There are a few SF threads in Social Events.  If you're interested, I could PM you links to them.

Anyhow, again Welcome, and thanks for posting!

-Lynne

[ifyoucantfixit]

                  WELCOME

    Good to see you here Marc.  I hope we continue to get to know you more over the next months..          janice

[mariez]

Thanks for the links, Marc, and Welcome to Bettermost! 

Marie

[Artiste]

S.V.P., plus Marc!

More stories please of yours!

Delightful !


Au revoir,
hugs!

[SFEnnisSF]

Marc,

Good to see you here at Bettermost friend.  This story is a masterpiece.  It's truly excellent!  Thank you for writing it. 

Eric

[Marc]

I just tweaked the story to delete Ennis's use of the f-word.  Two readers said it bothered them that Ennis would say that in Jack's mother's presence, and that persuaded me I'd made a mistake.

And it gave me an opportunity to fix something that had bothered me.  The conversation where the f-word occurred was critical to the story, because it's where Ennis unwittingly reveals his love for Jack.  But I didni't think it was revealing enough leading up to Ennis realizing what he has said.  So I moved and edited the f-word sentence to address that problem.

This is probably too detailed to mean much to anyone except the author.  But let me thank readers to helping me improve the story.

The story still make me cry.