Author Topic: Gift of Exile - first fanfic  (Read 37848 times)

Marge_Innavera

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Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« on: July 26, 2006, 03:45:26 pm »
This is my first-ever fiction attempt so of course the first fanfic I've attempted.

Only four chapters done so far but it pretty much sets the plot and characters.

Any constructive criticism/suggestions would be welcome!

http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/
« Last Edit: February 15, 2007, 04:05:10 pm by Marge_Innavera »

Offline MaineWriter

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #1 on: July 28, 2006, 08:50:49 am »
Marge,
Thanks for sharing. I like your story.

Can I ask you a question? Int the most recent chapter, n the first part, in the bar, you did not space the dialog the way you did in the second part (the telephone call). Was that intentional? For me, it made it hard to follow, not sure who was doing the talking.

Just wondering...

Leslie
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Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #2 on: July 28, 2006, 09:46:38 am »
Int the most recent chapter, n the first part, in the bar, you did not space the dialog the way you did in the second part (the telephone call). Was that intentional? For me, it made it hard to follow, not sure who was doing the talking.

I'll revisit that part. The phone call was "formatted" differently partly because it was a phone call, and partly because the other character wasn't physically present and won't be in the plot for several more chapters.  In the bar scene, I was trying to convey an impression of Ennis listening to various interactions going on around him.

Was there any specific part of the bar scene where who the speaker was started to get confusing? That would give me something to go on in figuring out a technique to clarify it.

Offline MaineWriter

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #3 on: July 28, 2006, 09:58:29 am »
This paragraph:

"Hardly remember the first time I was ever on a horse. You ever ride?" The three generations of David’s family that had been at the wedding, the suit not secondhand like Ennis’, his ability to casually fly across several states just for a cousin’s wedding; all spoke of a cavernous gap between their backgrounds; so he was irrationally surprised at the affirmative answer. "Oh yeah. Haven’t been on a horse in awhile but I rode a lot growin’ up. My best friend’s parents, they had a place north of Atlanta. Used to spend weekends up there, go up a lot in the summer." He hesitated and then gave Ennis a slow, amused smile as if anticipating the reaction. "Not the kind of saddles y’all use out here, though. I learned on an English saddle, and the way you ride with those is way different."

It took me a few reads to realize it was Ennis speaking in the first sentence.

I did like the feel of the multiple conversations going on and I thought that might be what you were trying to convey. On the other hand, I am a bit of a stickler for punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc. Nothing will turn me off from a story faster than finding it full of errors. (Marge, I am not saying that about yours...just speaking generally, here).  I think there is a fine line between bending a rule for effect and having something come across as just plain wrong. In your case, I thought there might be some bending going on, hence my question if it was intentional.

Leslie
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Offline notBastet

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #4 on: July 29, 2006, 01:12:24 am »
Hi Marge,

Just wanted to chime in and say that I really like your story, too.  Though I know you know that already.  Starting off with the wedding scene seems pretty original (at least to me), and I thought it was fun.  Let's see what else?  I'm a southerner and I've lived in Georgia for two years.  However, I also lived in Wisconsin for four years and thus had lots of friends from Minnesota... So - I was partial to David before I even met him. 
:)

I thought I might get weirded out by the metaphysical stuff you first mentioned when you described the story to me... but so far, I really like it...

Happy writings, looking forward to the next chapter.
“It can be a little distressing to have to overintellectualize yourself” - Heath Ledger

Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #5 on: July 29, 2006, 10:38:14 am »
This paragraph:

"Hardly remember the first time I was ever on a horse. You ever ride?" The three generations of David’s family that had been at the wedding, the suit not secondhand like Ennis’, his ability to casually fly across several states just for a cousin’s wedding; all spoke of a cavernous gap between their backgrounds; so he was irrationally surprised at the affirmative answer. "Oh yeah. Haven’t been on a horse in awhile but I rode a lot growin’ up. My best friend’s parents, they had a place north of Atlanta. Used to spend weekends up there, go up a lot in the summer." He hesitated and then gave Ennis a slow, amused smile as if anticipating the reaction. "Not the kind of saddles y’all use out here, though. I learned on an English saddle, and the way you ride with those is way different."

Ah good, that gives me something to go on. As I was visualizing the scene at the bar, it wasn't hard for me to know who was talking, but having a metaphysical subplot doesn't including expecting readers to be telepathic. 

Might have happened, too, because I have a second job transcribing minutes for a local municipality and while I can be creative with verbs like "observed", "confirmed", "remarked", etc. I do have to put in constant modifiers to make it clear who in the meeting is speaking. In that kind of writing, they want a certain amount of style but that has to take a back seat to straight reporting. Maybe in the bar scene there was a subconscious "yee-hah! I don't have to write this up like a meeting!" going on.  ;D


mvansand76

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #6 on: July 31, 2006, 10:27:17 am »
Hiya! I liked the first four chapters, how much time do you spend on writing?

Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #7 on: July 31, 2006, 10:46:36 am »
I do a lot of business writing, specifically minutes for a City entity and that plus a full-time job eat up a lot of time.  Actually, some of my writing is in longhand initially as I get ideas and then typed up on breaks as a draft.  Several years ago, I wrote for a weekly newspaper doing feature writing and local music coverage.

Am still feeling my way in fiction writing, and that includes trying different ways of putting together scenes and chapters to see what works best. The first two chapters of this story went quickly; the next two much slower going because of introducing a new character. So far, what's happened is that I get enough drafts written to put together a chapter and then sit down and type it out all at once.  That can be a lunch break at work, or it can be 6:00 in the morning.  :)

Thanks so much for reading and commenting! I hope to have at least one more chapter up by the end of the week.

Offline notBastet

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #8 on: July 31, 2006, 10:34:23 pm »
A chapter by the end of the week... cool!
 :)
“It can be a little distressing to have to overintellectualize yourself” - Heath Ledger

Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #9 on: August 08, 2006, 12:49:00 pm »
I have Chapter 5 finished, but want to get Chapter 6 ready and post them both at the same time. Chapter 6 is another Jack-centered part.


And this doesn't relate to my fanfic, but I don't know where else to post it --

Does anyone know what's going on with "Widower For a Year" over at LiveJournal? It looks like the author is starting to wind up the story but the last chapter was posted two months ago, on June 1st. This story is wonderfully done, and I'd hate to think he wasn't able to finish it after getting this far.

mvansand76

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #10 on: August 08, 2006, 03:42:05 pm »
I have Chapter 5 finished, but want to get Chapter 6 ready and post them both at the same time. Chapter 6 is another Jack-centered part.


When, when when???? ??? ??? ;) ;) ;)

Offline notBastet

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #11 on: August 08, 2006, 10:28:18 pm »
Hi Marge... :)

**Waves, as waits patiently for chapter 5 and 6.**

Sorry, don't know anything about Widower for One Year.
“It can be a little distressing to have to overintellectualize yourself” - Heath Ledger

Offline nic

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #12 on: August 10, 2006, 03:31:53 pm »
Another interested party here wondering when the next Gift of Exile instalment will be.  I am finding it quite unpredictable so far, which is bugging me! I love the gentle but strong writing tone.

I think the author of Widower is still working on it.  The story is nowhere near winding up I believe, as in there should be more than one or two chapters still to go.  I hope he does update again as that story is amazing, if hard-going.
Old Brokeback got us good and it sure ain't over

Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #13 on: August 20, 2006, 05:05:22 pm »
Finally got out from under my RL avalanche of work enough to finish Chapters 5 and 6!

Chapter 5: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/1704.html

Chapter 6: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/2038.html


This is also now posted at fanfiction.net:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3113080/1

Offline notBastet

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #14 on: August 20, 2006, 05:30:48 pm »
Wow Marge/Marcia, it's about time!
Just teasing, thanks so much.
... off to read.
kelly
“It can be a little distressing to have to overintellectualize yourself” - Heath Ledger

mvansand76

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #15 on: August 22, 2006, 07:07:45 am »
I loved it (even though it was a bit confusing at times), you can really read that you put a lot of effort into the writing, it is very good writing! I am really wondering where this is going! Thanks for posting!

Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #16 on: August 22, 2006, 11:35:12 am »
Can you give me some examples of where it was confusing? This story is a writing exercise for me to a great extent; so I truly do want to do fine-tuning and rewrites where necessary. Someone alerted me earlier to some dialgue where it wasn't clear who was speaking.

mvansand76

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #17 on: August 22, 2006, 03:31:30 pm »
Can you give me some examples of where it was confusing? This story is a writing exercise for me to a great extent; so I truly do want to do fine-tuning and rewrites where necessary. Someone alerted me earlier to some dialgue where it wasn't clear who was speaking.

It's the flashback and the parts where Ennis thinks of what might have been. Even though I saw that it was italic, it still confused me at first, but once I understood what it was, I thought it was a really nice touch to the story!


mvansand76

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #19 on: September 21, 2006, 07:27:36 am »
Those last two chapters were beautiful, I love the part where Ennis gets that polaroid of Jack and his reaction, that was beautiful, I'm glad he has that now, I hate to think that Ennis doesn't even have a picture of his beloved Jack... :'(

Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #20 on: September 21, 2006, 12:09:37 pm »
Yeah, I did too! And I would have wanted him to get Jack's harmonica too; but didn't feel it was believable that it was in Lightning Flat. Maybe Jack could have kept that in his room along with the shirts but it seemed to make more sense that he would have had it packed with his stuff when he was rodeo-ing around and the harmonica wound up in Childress.  The quilt was shown in Jack's room in the movie and included that as I saw that as a kind of comforting embrace as well.

mvansand76

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #21 on: September 21, 2006, 01:26:38 pm »
Yeah, the quilt was a nice detail! I really like your style of writing, and I am really enjoying the story, I am also really wondering where it is headed!


mvansand76

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #23 on: October 06, 2006, 10:09:10 am »
Yeeeeeaaaaah!  ;)

edited 6 hours later....

 :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

This is one of the most beautiful things I have read in a long while, thank you so much....
« Last Edit: October 06, 2006, 04:53:56 pm by mvansand76 »

Offline Lynne

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #24 on: October 22, 2006, 10:26:24 pm »
Marge!!!

I feel like such an imbecile, because I just tonight put together that you're writing Gift of Exile.  I've been getting there via brokebackslash and my livejournal friends page where I just knew you were talkstocoyotes.  I just love it so much.  Keep up the most excellent work.

-Lynne, our local village idiot

 ::)
"Laß sein. Laß sein."

mvansand76

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #25 on: October 23, 2006, 11:24:12 am »
I just love it so much.  Keep up the most excellent work.

Oh I agree, I love Gift of Exile, the last chapters were heartbreaking, I actually had tears in my eyes and I do not cry often, I will tell you that! When will you be updating?

Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #26 on: October 23, 2006, 12:50:29 pm »
I'm working on the next two chapters, which have been very tough as they're basically a transition between the Wedding Night part and the rest of the story - where Ennis starts to apply what Jack has told him about living his own life and not stagnating. Not that he won't still be Ennis.

AIDS, job issues and changes in Ennis' family situation... He really comes down off the mountaintop and back to reality.

Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #27 on: October 23, 2006, 12:52:08 pm »
Marge!!!

I feel like such an imbecile, because I just tonight put together that you're writing Gift of Exile.  I've been getting there via brokebackslash and my livejournal friends page where I just knew you were talkstocoyotes.  I just love it so much.  Keep up the most excellent work.

Thanks so much, I'm glad you're reading. I thought of changing my username but just put a link as a signature instead. Talks to Coyotes is a kind of spirit name I've had since 1979.

Offline ifyoucantfixit

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #28 on: October 25, 2006, 11:44:28 pm »
The first two chapters of Part Two posted this week.  Index of chapters:

Chapter 1:  http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/392.html

Chapter 2: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/523.html

Chapter 3:  http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/1066.html

Chapter 4:  http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/1485.html

Chapter 5:  http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/1704.html

Chapter 6:  http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/2038.html

Chapter 7:  http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/2358.html

Chapter 8:  http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/2635.html

i like your story a lot, and for a first ever it is amazing, im going to start over and re read the whole thing,  hoping for an new chapter soon    janice



     Beautiful mind

Offline notBastet

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #29 on: December 04, 2006, 02:25:45 pm »
Marge, are you still writing?
“It can be a little distressing to have to overintellectualize yourself” - Heath Ledger

one_of_one

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #30 on: December 04, 2006, 02:28:21 pm »
I hope you are writing, because this is one of my favourite stories. 

LOL - and a friend pointed out to me a couple of weeks ago that Marge Innavera and talkstocoyottes were one and the same!   ::)

Offline coffeecat33

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #31 on: December 11, 2006, 11:03:42 am »
2 new chapters posted on brokebackslash ! hoo-ray - back later with the link

cc33

Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #32 on: December 11, 2006, 11:44:53 am »

Hey, coffeecat beat me to it!  I finally posted those chapters yesterday after work, and by the time I was done, getting 3 hours of sleep before going back to work was just too tempting to resist.  Here are the links to the two chapters:

Chapter 12:  http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/3655.html

Chapter 13: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/3934.html

Offline coffeecat33

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #33 on: December 11, 2006, 11:48:37 am »
I'm FAST Marcia! Here's the rest of the info for those new to your story.


Title: Gift of Exile, by talkstocoyotes

Disclaimer: Ennis, Jack and all the other characters in the original Brokeback Mountain story are the creations of Annie Proulx and I derive no income from this fanfiction story. Most of the settings exist in RL.

Warning: While I love AUs this is not one of those, as the tags in the header indicate.  A metaphysical subplot is a central part of the story.

Synopsis: After returning from Brokeback, Ennis helps his youngest daughter move on into a new life, with some practical advice from David.

Read Chapter 13 at http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/3934.html
http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/3934.html

previous chapters:
Chapter 1: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/392.html
Chapter 2: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/523.html
Chapter 3: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/1066.html
Chapter 4: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/1485.html
Chapter 5: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/1704.html
Chapter 6: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/2038.html
Chapter 7: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/2358.html
Chapter 8: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/2635.html
Chapter 9: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/2947.html
Chapter 10: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/3130.html
Chapter 11: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/3356.html
Chapter 12: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/3655.html


Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #34 on: December 11, 2006, 12:00:46 pm »
Thank you!

I edited that two or three times after making exasperated comments about those  tags in the header. Some fans of "Miserable!Ennis" didn't make it past the third chapter of this story, just as well.....

Offline louisev

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #35 on: December 12, 2006, 09:16:23 pm »
hehehe Miserable!Ennis fans... well there are so many of them, and so few of us Happy!Ennis fans.  I'll be back with comments!  (sorry, had my head down writing like a maniac!)
“Mr. Coyote always gets me good, boy,”  Ellery said, winking.  “Almost forgot what life was like before I got me my own personal coyote.”


Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #36 on: December 13, 2006, 03:48:50 pm »
hehehe Miserable!Ennis fans... well there are so many of them, and so few of us Happy!Ennis fans. 

And a hearty bah! Humbug! to them....   ;D  Writing well is the best revenge!

Offline notBastet

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #37 on: December 13, 2006, 04:38:10 pm »
I love Happy!Ennis.
 :)
*happy sigh*
“It can be a little distressing to have to overintellectualize yourself” - Heath Ledger

Offline coffeecat33

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Re: Gift of Exile - New chapters posted
« Reply #38 on: January 15, 2007, 05:00:05 pm »
 :DI am so happy that Talkstocoyotes has posted 3 new chapters of Gift of Exile on LiveJournal.

I love this sotry. If you haven't read it yet, I recommend it. Gift of Exile has a spiritual element which I love.

http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/4154.html?#cutid1


Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #39 on: January 15, 2007, 07:22:29 pm »
Thanks for the recommendation!

Since I've been so pokey about posting new chapters, here's a synopsis of the plot so far:

Synopsis: Attending his daughter's wedding as promised, Ennis discovers that Jack might be physically dead but isn't very far away and is able to contact him. At the reception he meets a guest from Minnesota, Curt's second cousin David, and discovers that David is gay and has also lost a partner. Ennis and David go horseback riding together over the next few days, and forge a tentative connection that continues to develop when David starts calling Ennis regularly.

Ennis sees more of both his daughters in the next months, and gets a letter from Mrs. Twist telling him that Jack's father has died and asking him to carry out Jack's wishes to have his ashes scattered on Brokeback Mountain. Ennis spends an afternoon with Mrs. Twist, learning a few important details about Jack's life, and then heads up to one of their old campsites on Brokeback where he and Jack enjoy a brief reunion. A few months later, Ennis helps Jenny to move to Denver, discovering that big cities don't agree with him; and then faces his second winter without Jack.

The future of Ennis' job is uncertain, but he spends Christmas with both his daughters. Later, an announcement from Alma Junior and difficulties at the Coffeepot ranch signal still more changes in his life. Faced with three equally bad choices, he accepts an offer that David has made.

In the meantime, Jack explores the world he’ll be inhabiting while waiting for Ennis, meets and recognizes some old friends and anticipates changes coming up after Ennis’ move.

Index to chapters:

Chapter 1: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/392.html 
Chapter 2: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/523.html 
Chapter 3: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/1066.html   
Chapter 4: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/1485.html   
Chapter 5: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/1704.html 
Chapter 6: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/2038.html 
Chapter 7: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/2358.html 
Chapter 8: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/2635.html 
Chapter 9: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/2947.html 
Chapter 10: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/3130.html 
Chapter 11: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/3356.html
Chapter 12: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/3655.html 
Chapter 13: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/3934.html
Chapter 14: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/4154.html 
Chapter 15: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/4591.html
Chapter 16: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/4685.html


Offline louisev

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #40 on: January 15, 2007, 11:24:19 pm »
oh great!  I thought you had snuck off with the ending!

I give about one or two story recs per lifetime, as many people know... and this is one of them!
“Mr. Coyote always gets me good, boy,”  Ellery said, winking.  “Almost forgot what life was like before I got me my own personal coyote.”


Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #41 on: January 17, 2007, 12:31:01 am »

Quote
oh great!  I thought you had snuck off with the ending!

Mea culpa. Choi oi!

I tried a disastrous experiment with posting just Chapter 16 on bbmslash and Wranglers with links to the chapters before. Never again! Some of the people who commented said they'd almost missed the two preceding chapters and a few thought Chapter 16 was the end of the story!

At least they let me know - I went back and posted the other two to the communities, better late than never. Glad you're still reading, Louise, and thanks for the rec.   :D


mvansand76

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #42 on: January 17, 2007, 10:45:43 am »
I think I need to read this from the beginning again, because I can't seem to get back into it without doing that. But, I love your writing Marge and that chapter with Jack and Ennis' wedding night moved me to tears, so it's worth reading again!

one_of_one

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #43 on: January 18, 2007, 02:04:54 pm »

 I read quite a substantial part of this to start with because I arrived rather late to the party and now I'm reading a couple of chapters at a time feel i'm missing out on a lot because I forget things and reading sporadically just doesn't have the same sense of satisfaction as reading all in one go had.  I just saw your post, Mel, and I feel that way with a lot of fics.  When I reread The Belwether recently it was amazing how much better it was being able to go straight through. 

So I'm going to set aside some time this weekend to reread Gift of Exile.  I really love the classy way Marcia writes this moving on scenario...from right at the start when Ennis met David and the fact that he was gay was out in the open, nothing to be wondered about, through the scene where they brushed hands and Ennis had an urge to slide his hand up David's shirt, right through to their ongoing conversations on the phone which have now left Ennis in the position of having to phone David instead of David calling him.

I think the whole thing is so good and believable.  Even the metaphysical aspects with Jack.  I liked them having that time together on the mountain, that it gave Ennis the reassurance that whatever happened in the future there was no necessity for him to wallow in grief for the rest of his life, that along with the unhappy times he had some very good times to think about and remember, both in the real world and in some other in between place.

A wonderful story!

Offline louisev

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #44 on: January 20, 2007, 06:49:20 am »
I admit, I am full up, having just ploughed through the editing and rendering-down of 40,000 words of another unrelated story... I function best when I am editing one thing and taking breaks from it to write others, and have done NO reading this week.  Which means when I burn out on editing again NEXT week I'll have plenty to read.

But I truly savored the "Wedding Night" chapters, enough hotness to show Ennis's yearning, and a very original evocation of the relationship between Jack and Ennis.  Yeah, I got dewy, but in your hands, Marcia, the sense of despair and loss are offset well by the hope for the future, and there is a sense in your work (and I wish it was in mine) that Ennis does not have to choose between holding onto the sweet moments of his past and Jack, and moving forward, because there is a natural progression from one to the other. I think you conveyed this transition somewhat better than I did, and made me do some more thinking.
“Mr. Coyote always gets me good, boy,”  Ellery said, winking.  “Almost forgot what life was like before I got me my own personal coyote.”


Offline Bigheart

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #45 on: January 20, 2007, 08:46:49 am »
I started reading this story way back in June and remember loving it but having to stop reading because of the long summer holiday I took.
I've started reading it again just now, mainly because of what Helen said, cause I know that I nearly always love the fics she reccs, and I'm so so glad I did  :) I'd forgotten how truly wonderful it is. I've just finished chapter 6. Your way with words is so beautiful, Marge. The way you write Ennis and how he grieves for Jack; I find his dreams amazing. And like so many others, I also loved Jack's wording "changin horses" Beautiful. And I'm really really curious about David.

Thank you so much  *off to chapter 7*  It's the perfect day for staying in and reading too, dark, stormy and raining!!  :D

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #46 on: January 20, 2007, 10:43:29 am »
I read quite a substantial part of this to start with because I arrived rather late to the party and now I'm reading a couple of chapters at a time feel i'm missing out on a lot because I forget things and reading sporadically just doesn't have the same sense of satisfaction as reading all in one go had.  . . .

I'm glad to see posts from people saying they're reading it straight through. That's a difference between publishing a story in the usual way and doing it in fits and starts like many of these fanfictions are. In the 19th century, people were used to reading stories in serial form, but technology has moved on since then and a chapter here-chapter there can be problematical. I noticed that Roots was written in its entirety and then posted - would have loved to do it that way, but at the point where I'm at, I would have run out of creative steam early. That psychological battery-charge of seeing chapters posted, plus getting the feedback, was just necessary at this point. And I'm lucky so far in that with only a few exceptions, all the criticism I've gotten has been truly constructive and useful.  But no way around it, the first chapter was written 6-7 months ago!

Quote
...from right at the start when Ennis met David and the fact that he was gay was out in the open, nothing to be wondered about, through the scene where they brushed hands and Ennis had an urge to slide his hand up David's shirt, right through to their ongoing conversations on the phone which have now left Ennis in the position of having to phone David instead of David calling him.

That early disclosure, I felt was necessary given how early in the coming-out process Ennis is. And getting to know each other over the phone would be a non-threatening way for Ennis to get used to interacting with another gay man. i.e., the other guy is hundreds of miles away and if he ever pushed the boundaries too quickly Ennis had the option of just hanging up. He could compartmentalize it, which he still needs to do at that point, but calling David up and saying 'yeah, I'll come out and visit' was that big step off the cliff.

Thanks for reading!   :)

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #47 on: January 20, 2007, 10:52:25 am »
I admit, I am full up, having just ploughed through the editing and rendering-down of 40,000 words of another unrelated story... I function best when I am editing one thing and taking breaks from it to write others, and have done NO reading this week.  Which means when I burn out on editing again NEXT week I'll have plenty to read.

Would that I had that amount of energy!

Quote
But I truly savored the "Wedding Night" chapters, enough hotness to show Ennis's yearning, and a very original evocation of the relationship between Jack and Ennis.  Yeah, I got dewy, but in your hands, Marcia, the sense of despair and loss are offset well by the hope for the future, and there is a sense in your work (and I wish it was in mine) that Ennis does not have to choose between holding onto the sweet moments of his past and Jack, and moving forward, because there is a natural progression from one to the other.


Aside from the fact that Ennis and Jack will have a better immediate future if Ennis manages to finish what he was supposed to accomplish, his coming out of that dungeon of repression and self-denial (in the negative sense) would be a direct result of his relationship with Jack. IMO, the notion that this would amount to Ennis benefitting and Jack getting the 'fuzzy end of the lollipop' is an unnecessarily short perspective. The best tribute to a great love is a maturing and strengthening of the lover's soul.

Quote
I think you conveyed this transition somewhat better than I did, and made me do some more thinking.

IMO that isn't an either-or thing; we're just writing two very different stories. The common thread in both of them is Ennis dealing with all this in stages, and with atonement being made via constructive though often difficult effort, and not with suffering through a bleak existence. Suffering might teach you the seriousness of your failures; atonement is something else altogether.

Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #48 on: January 20, 2007, 11:03:37 am »
I've just finished chapter 6. Your way with words is so beautiful, Marge. The way you write Ennis and how he grieves for Jack; I find his dreams amazing. And like so many others, I also loved Jack's wording "changin horses" Beautiful. And I'm really really curious about David.

After Chapter 16, there will be a major change in venue, and more about David and Nathan at that point, though I want to keep the focus on Ennis. Basically, Ennis will have to start putting some of what he's learned into practice.

Quote
Thank you so much  *off to chapter 7*  It's the perfect day for staying in and reading too, dark, stormy and raining!!  :D

You know, I haven't had anyone mention this but in Chapter 8, the flashback to Ennis' return from Lightning Flat with the shirts shows him turning a major, though painful, corner.  The impression I had of the last scene in the film, on the very first viewing, was that the trailer was so sparsely furnished because it reflected the stage Ennis had gone through after the scene at Jack's parents.  His feeling in that flashback of being "stripped down to the bare bones" and half-expecting to see a skeleton in the mirror was one of those things that just appeared in my head. But in terms of archetypes, bones often represent the indestructible part of the soul, or the saving remnant that's a basis for rebuilding.

Writing is such a mysterious thing, it seems. I'd love it if all of the process is just the words pouring out of you but there seems to be a rhythm to it between inspiration and just hard, weed-pulling work.  One of the more inspirational things about this project, as it's turned out, is the interaction with people who are reading. These posts, and the comments after the chapters, have turned out to be such a major part of it.

If it were only raining and stormy here!  We had an obnoxious ice storm last weekend, and more snow today; after what had looked like a mild winter.

Offline Bigheart

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #49 on: January 20, 2007, 12:12:45 pm »
After Chapter 16, there will be a major change in venue, and more about David and Nathan at that point, though I want to keep the focus on Ennis. Basically, Ennis will have to start putting some of what he's learned into practice.

You know, I haven't had anyone mention this but in Chapter 8, the flashback to Ennis' return from Lightning Flat with the shirts shows him turning a major, though painful, corner.  The impression I had of the last scene in the film, on the very first viewing, was that the trailer was so sparsely furnished because it reflected the stage Ennis had gone through after the scene at Jack's parents.  His feeling in that flashback of being "stripped down to the bare bones" and half-expecting to see a skeleton in the mirror was one of those things that just appeared in my head. But in terms of archetypes, bones often represent the indestructible part of the soul, or the saving remnant that's a basis for rebuilding.

Writing is such a mysterious thing, it seems. I'd love it if all of the process is just the words pouring out of you but there seems to be a rhythm to it between inspiration and just hard, weed-pulling work.  One of the more inspirational things about this project, as it's turned out, is the interaction with people who are reading. These posts, and the comments after the chapters, have turned out to be such a major part of it.

If it were only raining and stormy here!  We had an obnoxious ice storm last weekend, and more snow today; after what had looked like a mild winter.

That part just cut my heart out but it was so beautifully written.

Well I'll just have to post and leave more comments then!  :)

Oh believe me, you don't want the storms and rain we've had here in Holland and Europe the last couple of days! A few of the houses rooftops were half blown off in my neighbourhood on Thursday!

I've read everything now and I just have to say that I'm so in love with the way you're writing this story. I was so pleased Ennis picked up that phone! And I must say, David's offer was a complete surprise to me! I can't wait for more on this  :)



Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #50 on: January 22, 2007, 10:57:22 am »
Oh believe me, you don't want the storms and rain we've had here in Holland and Europe the last couple of days! A few of the houses rooftops were half blown off in my neighbourhood on Thursday!

Oh, you're in Europe - choi oi!! I saw some footage of those storms; the wind was so strong it actually bumped an airliner catty-wompus as it was taking off. Even in the Midwestern US where we have monster storms, I don't remember one like that.

Quote
I've read everything now and I just have to say that I'm so in love with the way you're writing this story. I was so pleased Ennis picked up that phone! And I must say, David's offer was a complete surprise to me! I can't wait for more on this  :)

Yeah, it was a surprise to Ennis, too; but David had been thinking about it all along, and so had Jack.   ;)

Offline Bigheart

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #51 on: January 22, 2007, 11:12:21 am »
Oh, you're in Europe - choi oi!! I saw some footage of those storms; the wind was so strong it actually bumped an airliner catty-wompus as it was taking off. Even in the Midwestern US where we have monster storms, I don't remember one like that.

Yeah, it was a surprise to Ennis, too; but David had been thinking about it all along, and so had Jack.   ;)

That's one of the aspects I love so much about this story too  :) You do that so so well.

Offline notBastet

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #52 on: January 22, 2007, 07:38:08 pm »
That part just cut my heart out but it was so beautifully written.

Well I'll just have to post and leave more comments then!  :)

Oh believe me, you don't want the storms and rain we've had here in Holland and Europe the last couple of days! A few of the houses rooftops were half blown off in my neighbourhood on Thursday!

I've read everything now and I just have to say that I'm so in love with the way you're writing this story. I was so pleased Ennis picked up that phone! And I must say, David's offer was a complete surprise to me! I can't wait for more on this  :)




I'm loving reading everyone's thoughts on this story.

June - I hope your roof is okay!!

I'm glad you're still committed to the story, Marcia... In an odd way, I find the slow pace reassuring.
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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #53 on: January 23, 2007, 07:47:26 am »
I read the last chapters, but I am still not able to comment....I guess it was that emotional..., maybe I need to read it again to be able to leave a coherent comment that Marge deserves....

Offline Bigheart

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #54 on: January 23, 2007, 01:29:18 pm »

June - I hope your roof is okay!!



Aw thanks, Kelly  :-*  I still have my roof although it is damaged here and there.

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #55 on: January 24, 2007, 09:47:27 pm »


    Marcia i did as you mentioned lose track of the chapters also..  i dont know how that happened either.  i have been checking pretty frequently..
i didnt find anything...then all of a sudden there was three up that i hadnt read...so somehow i got skipped with 14 and 15 somehow,,,but i was very happy to see the last ones posted...      thanks marcia.

                                                                             janice



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Offline nic

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #56 on: January 25, 2007, 10:00:21 am »
Gah,  I haven't been able to read the latest three yet cos of lack of time. Soon....
Old Brokeback got us good and it sure ain't over

Offline Bigheart

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #57 on: February 10, 2007, 02:25:46 pm »
Hi Marcia  :) I was just wondering how the next update was coming along? I'm so looking forward to it!

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #58 on: February 10, 2007, 03:57:35 pm »
Marcia...

I just flicked back to your first post on this story to get the link because I want to reread again...and you said about 18 chapters.  It's not going to tie up so quickly is it?

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #59 on: February 14, 2007, 03:20:32 pm »
Hi Marcia  :) I was just wondering how the next update was coming along? I'm so looking forward to it!

I want it updated soon too!  :)

Am working on those all-important first impression Ennis gets in what is for him a very strange new environment. At this point in the story, I can use any info about Duluth I can get from people familiar with it - have been there but have never lived there.

Here are some pictures of Ennis' new home. It's an actual B&B in a lakeside Duluth neighborhood called Park Point. The furnishings in the indoor shots are contemporary and don't pertain to the story but the general look of the house and surroundings is what Ennis sees.


The house seen from the street



downstairs living room



loft room where Ennis stays initially (minus the funky decor!)



part of David's room



Lake view at sunrise


view with Duluth in background



beach



Offline Bigheart

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #60 on: February 14, 2007, 04:38:45 pm »
Marcia!! How utterly wonderful of you to post these great pictures! I love them. I love the house, LOVE the front porch, LOVE the outdoor pics too and the beach!!!

Thank you so much for doing this!  :)  :)  :)  I'll look forward to the update even more now!

one_of_one

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #61 on: February 14, 2007, 06:29:34 pm »
Oh wow Marcia these are fabulous!

I love the "where Ennis stays initially" description of the loft room :)  And David's room is uber romantic!

Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #62 on: February 15, 2007, 11:30:27 am »
I just flicked back to your first post on this story to get the link because I want to reread again...and you said about 18 chapters.  It's not going to tie up so quickly is it?

No - that was just my initial estimate of the number of chapters. I'd say it's about 60 percent done, but some of the chapters toward the end might be short ones. I'd thought of employing the "snapshot" approach that was done in the movie to cope with a passage of a number of years.

Offline nic

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #63 on: February 15, 2007, 01:50:43 pm »
I was interested to see that you went with the accident version of Jack's death - as you had him trying to recall it (ugh...).  Some folk are of the view that cos AP uses the words "the accident" in her prose & only refers to it as the tire iron in conjunction with this being Ennis's thoughts, that it actually was an accident & the tire iron was purely Ennis's view.  This doesn't make much difference to your story I don't think, other than making it heart-rending to think of Jack being aware of being attacked so viciously,  but I picked up on it cos I've been thinking on it of late & I've come down on the "it was an accident" view after many months of deliberation. 

The house pics are great btw  :)
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Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #64 on: February 15, 2007, 03:47:59 pm »
I was interested to see that you went with the accident version of Jack's death - as you had him trying to recall it (ugh...).  Some folk are of the view that cos AP uses the words "the accident" in her prose & only refers to it as the tire iron in conjunction with this being Ennis's thoughts, that it actually was an accident & the tire iron was purely Ennis's view.  This doesn't make much difference to your story I don't think, other than making it heart-rending to think of Jack being aware of being attacked so viciously,  but I picked up on it cos I've been thinking on it of late & I've come down on the "it was an accident" view after many months of deliberation. 

Actually, I went with the attack version. If you re-read Jack's recollections in Chapter 16, he recalls getting in a few good licks against his attackers and that "mercifully one of the heavy pipes his assailants had used had broken his neck early on." But personally, I never have decided what version is the "correct" one. If Jack's death was an accident, there's a horrible irony in Ennis situation: he's sacrificed the life he could have had with Jack thinking that if they avoid this one danger (gay-bashing), they'll both be safe. Never stops to think that there are thousands of ways a person can die and any of them could happen to either him or Jack at any time.

However, if Jack was going to continue as a character in the story after his physical death, and I wanted to tell anything from his POV, I had to decide on a cause of death. Jack would certainly remember what happened.

Quote
The house pics are great btw  :)

Thanks! Hope Ennis likes the house too....  ;)

Offline coffeecat33

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #65 on: February 15, 2007, 08:28:33 pm »
Thanks for posting those photos - they are great. The beach looks lovely; too bad it's too cold to go swimming. I'm looking forward to more chapters from you!
Leslie.

Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #66 on: February 16, 2007, 11:23:03 am »
Thanks for posting those photos - they are great. The beach looks lovely; too bad it's too cold to go swimming. I'm looking forward to more chapters from you!

I've seen people swimming in Lake Superior and will probably have Ennis do that at least once, but the closest I've ever gotten is wading!   ;)  And I've been told that this long sandy beach is unusual for Superior - most of its beaches are rocky.

I look forward to more chapters too - will have to tackle Ennis' arrival this week. Thanks!

Offline nic

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #67 on: February 16, 2007, 01:42:47 pm »
Sorry, I meant to say attack in my first sentence - d'oh.  Probably too much of it going around in my head.  I know, if an accident it makes it worse in a way  :(
Old Brokeback got us good and it sure ain't over

Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #68 on: February 16, 2007, 04:52:08 pm »
Sorry, I meant to say attack in my first sentence - d'oh. 

I can identify with that - now it makes more sense! Either way, Jack's death taught Ennis in the worst possible way what the consequence of a life ruled by fear can be.

Offline louisev

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #69 on: March 01, 2007, 09:11:25 am »
I provided a recommendation for this story on Slash Discussion on DC:


excerpted here:


In this vein I would like to add my recommendations on stories that are excellently written and oft-overlooked that happen to "ship the OC" :  "A Gift of Exile" a remarkable first story by TDS Editor Marge_Innavera, and "Ennis: Brokeback Sequell" by Tom Forster.  Before getting into writing any fan fiction stories myself I sent a comment to Tom about "Ennis", which he wrote in December 2005, and it is one of the original fan stories about BBM.  He told me at the time that he felt very strongly about making a future for Ennis after the end of BBM, and like my story, and like Marge's story, Tom's Ennis is grief-stricken, and stumbles upon a new love relationship in an unlikely (but historically probably quite accurate way) by meeting another ranch hand in the course of ranching work when he is older.  He wrote the story for himself (as I initially wrote "Taking Chances" for myself), and like me, was sad to discover that it did not get much attention among other fans.  That has since changed.

"Ennis"  http://www.rainbowcommunitywritingproject.com/Ennis.html

Marge_Innavera' story "A Gift of Exile" has a quite original story line in it about the immediate future after the end of BBM in which Ennis meets a "gay man" who is a wedding guest at a marriage reception in Riverton and takes up a correspondence with him after giving him some horseback riding lessons.  The truly unique take on BBM that Marge brings to this tale is the mystical element, expanding Annie Proulx's concept of "seeing Jack in his dream" into a complete mystical journey in which Jack returns to Ennis on Brokeback in a two-day-long vision -- reminiscent of vision quests of the native peoples -- and urges him to find a new life with his blessing, allowing Ennis to say goodbye at last, and enjoy the peace that comes from knowing that the dead have not truly died but live on in a spiritual sense.  It is the mystical tale that I was going for myself in writing "A Warm Wind Blows", my first fan fiction about Ennis developing cancer in later life and receiving a visitation from a still young Jack Twist who reassures him he does not have to die of grief. Mine was a bit of a ghost-story fantasy romp, but Marge's is a far more serious, far more moving treatment:

"A Gift of Exile" http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/
http://www.davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=20812.msg763508#msg763508


“Mr. Coyote always gets me good, boy,”  Ellery said, winking.  “Almost forgot what life was like before I got me my own personal coyote.”


Offline Bigheart

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #70 on: March 05, 2007, 12:00:11 pm »
Will you be updating any time soon, Marcia? Just wondering cause I really love and miss this story so much  :)

Offline belbbmfan

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #71 on: April 03, 2007, 07:16:07 am »
Will you be updating any time soon, Marcia? Just wondering cause I really love and miss this story so much  :)


I'll second that! I hope we can find an update soon.

 :)
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Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #72 on: April 04, 2007, 09:31:17 am »

I'll second that! I hope we can find an update soon.

I'm going to be posting three chapters hopefully by this weekend - two are done and the third needs some reworking. Ennis finally arrives in Duluth, has another unexpected visit from Jack and he and David finally meet in person again after all those months. I suppose the first two could be posted now, but the three chapters seem to go together.

Thanks for continuing to read - I dropped in to check on the remarks about Lori's shocker of a chapter in TCJ, and this will give me an incentive to get these two guys together and at least talking in person PDQ.  :)

one_of_one

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #73 on: April 04, 2007, 10:06:26 am »
I'm going to be posting three chapters hopefully by this weekend - two are done and the third needs some reworking. Ennis finally arrives in Duluth, has another unexpected visit from Jack and he and David finally meet in person again after all those months. I suppose the first two could be posted now, but the three chapters seem to go together.

Thanks for continuing to read - I dropped in to check on the remarks about Lori's shocker of a chapter in TCJ, and this will give me an incentive to get these two guys together and at least talking in person PDQ.  :)

Marcia - I am so excited about this!!!!!!!!!!

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #74 on: April 12, 2007, 11:22:48 am »
Chapters 17, 18 and 19 posted today. Links to all chapters:


Synopsis: At Alma Junior's wedding, Ennis has two life-changing experiences: he discovers that Jack might be physically dead but is still part of his life, and he meets Curt's out-of-state cousin, David, who has also been mourning the loss of a partner. The two men discover a mutual attraction and in the year that follows, forge a tentative connection through regular telephone conversations. Later in the year, Mrs. Twist writes to Ennis that Jack's father has died, asking him to carry out Jack's last wishes. Ennis returns to Brokeback with Jack's ashes and he and Jack enjoy a brief reunion. All that year Jack remains in contact with Ennis, but changes are in the air, however, as both Ennis' daughters move out of the state and he loses his job when the ranch is sold. On David's invitation, Ennis arrives in Duluth, Minnesota to accept an offer of a job and a place to stay.

Chapter 1: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/392.html

Chapter 2: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/523.html

Chapter 3:  http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/1066.html

Chapter 4:  http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/1485.html
 
Chapter 5:  http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/1704.html

Chapter 6:  http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/2038.html

Chapter 7:  http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/2358.html

Chapter 8:  http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/2635.html

Chapter 9:  http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/2947.html

Chapter 10:  http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/3130.html

Chapter 11:  http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/3356.html

Chapter 12:  http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/3655.html

Chapter 13:  http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/3934.html

Chapter 14:  http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/4154.html
 
Chapter 15: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/4591.html

Chapter 16: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/4685.html

Chapter 17: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/5094.html

Chapter 18: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/5140.html

Chapter 19: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/5546.html



Offline coffeecat33

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #75 on: April 12, 2007, 11:38:16 am »
Just finished reading the 3 new chapters you posted and they are wonderful. Thanks for continuing this although I know your schedule is crazy busy. Never would I have imagined canon Ennis in the environment he is in but I think you did a marvelous job of easing him into it. Between the long-distance phone calls from David and encouragement from Jack I think that helped Ennis a lot and made it plausible.

To anyone who hasn't read this story or read the current chapters, hurry! Go read them now.

cc33/Leslie K.

Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #76 on: April 12, 2007, 05:01:43 pm »
Just finished reading the 3 new chapters you posted and they are wonderful. Thanks for continuing this although I know your schedule is crazy busy. Never would I have imagined canon Ennis in the environment he is in but I think you did a marvelous job of easing him into it. Between the long-distance phone calls from David and encouragement from Jack I think that helped Ennis a lot and made it plausible.

Yeah, that's why his daughters and Mrs. Twist all had to move away, and his job had to bite the dust!  ;)  This isn't somebody who makes changes easily, even with other-worldly help.

Thanks so much for your encouragement.   :)

Offline notBastet

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #77 on: April 25, 2007, 06:06:18 pm »
Hi Marge,

I am flying in to Duluth on Friday - do you think I will see David or Ennis??

 :)

I hope I don't get the same sleep affliction, lol....

Well, I'm sure I won't, as my journey ain't nothin like Ennis'.

I like the quote you picked for your signature!

nB
“It can be a little distressing to have to overintellectualize yourself” - Heath Ledger

Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #78 on: April 26, 2007, 09:12:45 am »
Hi Marge,

I am flying in to Duluth on Friday - do you think I will see David or Ennis?? :)

If you do, ask them how they keep that lake house warm in the winter!  :o  And if you see anyone who can act as a "Duluth beta," let me know. Pictures of the Park Point neighborhood, details about the first gay pride event in Duluth in the mid-1980s, the whole brouhaha about I-35's route that resulted in the Lakewalk (according to the Historical Society)....

Quote
I hope I don't get the same sleep affliction, lol.... Well, I'm sure I won't, as my journey ain't nothin like Ennis'.

I work a 3/12 schedule (3 days, 12 hours each) and I sometimes get a similar affliction at the end of the work week - not exactly the same source....  ;)

Quote
I like the quote you picked for your signature!

Thanks - too many of us settle for beans too often....

Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #79 on: August 03, 2007, 10:15:51 am »
Yikes, this took me 3 months???

Chapter 20 is up, and as the note on top says, it's a transitional chapter. The next should be out within the next week.  Will also be posting more pictures of Ennis' new setting.

http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/6249.html

Offline mariez

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #80 on: August 03, 2007, 12:46:15 pm »
Marge,

Wonderful timing.  I saw Louise's rec for this recently and read all 19 chapters in one sitting.  Wish I'd found this one earlier - but, then again, it was a real treat to read all the chapters at once. The high praise for this fic is well-deserved.   I've been floating along on this lovely, spiritual journey.

And the pictures are great.  I like having those specific images in my mind as I'm reading.

Thanks,
Marie
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

Offline LauraGigs

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #81 on: August 15, 2007, 02:41:42 am »
Just checking in.  Nice story!  I'll be up by Lake Michigan next week and be reminded of it, I'm sure.  Can't wait for more.

Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #82 on: January 05, 2008, 03:09:48 pm »
It's been so long since an update, I'm sure plenty of people assumed I just never finished, but it's just been a long, slow process getting into this second half of the story.  Chapter 21 is up, and Chapter 22 about half finished so that shouldn't be long, I promise -- but I won't make the mistake of promising a specific date again.  I'm shooting for the next week or so.  Chapter 21 is posted at http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/6434.html 

As far as physical appearance is concerned, David is based on an actor in the U.K. named Hans Matheson.  Hans was born in 1975, and David is supposed to be 36 at the time of Alma Junior's wedding (in 1985); so an adjustment for age does need to be made!



As Nero




Mordred in Mists of Avalon




Yuri Zhivago in a TV remake of Doctor Zhivago, 2002


Here’s the Belle River, which was renamed the Walter J. McCarthy during the 1990s. The industrial area to the left is part of the Duluth harbor and waterfront, which would be a little to the west of David’s house.





Walter J McCarthy and the Aerial Bridge


Offline belbbmfan

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #83 on: January 05, 2008, 03:37:43 pm »
Oh!! GREAT news about the update.  :)  :)

David looks good, nice pics. Can't say anymore cause I'm *off to read*  :D  :D
'We're supposed to guard the sheep, not eat 'em'

Offline mariez

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #84 on: January 05, 2008, 03:45:57 pm »
Yay!  Thanks for the pics  - he fits perfectly with how I pictured David. 

*Off to read* with Fabienne!

Marie
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #85 on: January 17, 2008, 12:38:34 pm »
Chapter 22 is posted - http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/6843.html

Ennis finally confides in David about Jack, which actually comes as something of a surprise to him. 

Offline belbbmfan

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #86 on: January 18, 2008, 09:58:24 am »
That was a beautiful chapter!

I loved all the food info. I'm not sure I'd enjoy a helping of Lutefisk though! LOL  ;D

And Ennis marveling at the fact that people go for walks just for fun! How very Ennis!

The end was moving. The fact that Ennis starting talking about Jack without noticing it, shows how comfortable he's getting.

Thank you for continuing this story. I love it.  :)
'We're supposed to guard the sheep, not eat 'em'

Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #87 on: January 18, 2008, 12:22:12 pm »
Thank you! This chapter did seem kind of "foody" but Ennis holding up his end in that kind of conversation, even if he's still as un-chatty as ever, is a kind of indication of his getting more established in this household, new as it all still is. And what story based in Minnesota could be without at least one lutefisk reference?   ;D

There is a point in grieving for a loved person who's died where you suddenly find yourself thinking about them just as the person you knew -- i.e., some funny remark, shared experience, some little quirk or fault -- and that this kind of reference point, for the first time, has at least temporarily crowded out the loss. It isn't a matter of loving the person less, just that the loss has become a part of your own life rather than an outside force that's derailed it.

I don't know if I'm making that completely clear, but it's at least part of what Jack had in mind when he told Ennis to find a memory of him that he could laugh about.

Offline BelAir

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #88 on: January 20, 2008, 11:44:59 am »
Thank you! This chapter did seem kind of "foody" but Ennis holding up his end in that kind of conversation, even if he's still as un-chatty as ever, is a kind of indication of his getting more established in this household, new as it all still is. And what story based in Minnesota could be without at least one lutefisk reference?   ;D

There is a point in grieving for a loved person who's died where you suddenly find yourself thinking about them just as the person you knew -- i.e., some funny remark, shared experience, some little quirk or fault -- and that this kind of reference point, for the first time, has at least temporarily crowded out the loss. It isn't a matter of loving the person less, just that the loss has become a part of your own life rather than an outside force that's derailed it.

I don't know if I'm making that completely clear, but it's at least part of what Jack had in mind when he told Ennis to find a memory of him that he could laugh about.

Just wanted to say thanks for the update, and that I understand [and agree with] the point you are making above.
 :)
"— a thirst for life, for love, and for truth..."

Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #89 on: May 14, 2008, 12:42:42 pm »
Chapter 23 is up at http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/7306.html .  I'll do my best to get Chapter 24 finished as soon as possible.  Sorry about the long gaps between postings, the chapters seem to have decided on a timetable all its own.  This and Chapter 24 center around the progress of Ennis' and David's relationship.  Ennis will move into still more uncharted territory after that, and hopefully these chapters won't take as long as this one.


Here are some photos of various parts of the Park Point trail, and more pictures can be found at http://www.duluthbudgeteer.com/photography/includes/gallery.cfm?id=29&forumcomm_check_return

Thanks to everyone reading for their patience!    :)






The beach and dune portions of the trail, with beachgoers' "driftwood art"






The trail's forested section, including a straightaway occasionally used for cross-country skiing during the winter


Offline mariez

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #90 on: May 14, 2008, 01:37:15 pm »



Chapter 23 is up at http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/7306.html .  I'll do my best to get Chapter 24 finished as soon as possible.  Sorry about the long gaps between postings, the chapters seem to have decided on a timetable all its own.  This and Chapter 24 center around the progress of Ennis' and David's relationship.  Ennis will move into still more uncharted territory after that, and hopefully these chapters won't take as long as this one.


Here are some photos of various parts of the Park Point trail, and more pictures can be found at http://www.duluthbudgeteer.com/photography/includes/gallery.cfm?id=29&forumcomm_check_return

Thanks to everyone reading for their patience!    :)






The beach and dune portions of the trail, with beachgoers' "driftwood art"






The trail's forested section, including a straightaway occasionally used for cross-country skiing during the winter




Great news!  And thanks for the wonderful pictures.   :)

Marie
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #91 on: July 30, 2008, 11:46:22 am »
Chapter 24 is up, at http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/7646.html   With one notable exception, this chapter focuses on Ennis learning a little more about David’s background. I know this story has been moving very slowly, partly because I've been slow about updating; but this chapter pretty much finishes laying the groundwork for Ennis' and David's relationship.


Rose Hill's history, including its odd double identity as cemetery and city park, can be found at http://gagen.i-found-it.net/rosehill.html as well as the Wikipedia entry: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rose_Hill_Cemetery_(Georgia) The cemetery has a website at http://rosehillcemetery.org/   


Some photos:











This setting will look familiar to fans of the Allman Brothers Band – it was featured on the cover of their first album.




The site of Nathan’s painting actually exists in Rose Hill and I have visited it several times. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to locate a photograph of it.


Offline belbbmfan

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #92 on: July 30, 2008, 03:07:01 pm »
Fast or slow, I like the direction you're going!


I love this story. I was really moved reading about the shirts. This is a story to be savoured, like good wine!  :) Thank you for your update, and the pictures.
'We're supposed to guard the sheep, not eat 'em'

Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #93 on: August 14, 2008, 01:22:01 pm »
Chapter 25 is up, at http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/7723.html   

Ennis and David finally kiss -- after 25 chapters, but only a year in the plotline. Actually pretty fast progress for Ennis.


For views of jumpers at “the Deeps”, watch the video “A Day At the Deeps” at






The Deeps




Seven Bridges Road (autumn view)

Offline belbbmfan

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #94 on: August 14, 2008, 02:03:37 pm »
I really really enjoyed this chapter. Ennis really it taking the plunge isn't he? I loved their first kiss. Gorgeous writing.

More please!  :)
'We're supposed to guard the sheep, not eat 'em'

Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - finally, an update
« Reply #95 on: March 06, 2009, 01:37:09 pm »
I've received mail asking if this fic is still in progress, and it definitely is!  The latest chapter was just a bear to write -- it was my first attempt at chitchat dialogue with several people involved, and was a lot harder than I'd thought. That and some personal things that needed, and still need, my attention resulted in it taking forever to write.

The next chapters are partially written, and in fact there are drafts for several later chapters so the next updates shouldn't take as long.  This one was long enough that LiveJournal made me divide it into two parts.  For people who've been asking if Ennis' and David's relationship is ever going to progress, that starts with the next chapter.  This one introduces a number of characters who will appear again later -- some in only a scene or two -- as well as some of the conflicts that are going to come up.

I'll be posting pictures on my blog from here on out, but that probably won't be till tomorrow.
Chapter 26 Part 1:  http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/8417.html
Chapter 26 Part 2:  http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/8634.html

Offline mariez

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #96 on: March 06, 2009, 04:06:04 pm »
Thank you!!  I look forward to reading both parts tonight.  :)

Marie
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

retropian

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #97 on: March 20, 2009, 07:12:14 pm »
I reread then entire story so far over the past few nights. It really flows well and feels very organic. Nothing seems forced, Ennis's and David's relationship is developing at it's own pace and seems very natural. I'm looking forward to when they finally..... ;D.

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #98 on: March 21, 2009, 12:43:43 pm »
That won't be long -- within the next two chapters, part of which is already written -- though there'll be a last-minute snag and some revelations (in the story, that is!  ;) ).  If you haven't seen them already, there are photos of Grandma's Saloon in my blog -- it's somewhat important to local history as a de facto community center. That often happens with redevelopment in urban neighborhoods; in Atlanta, it was a place called Manuel's Tavern. 

Thanks for reading!

retropian

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #99 on: May 13, 2009, 10:43:00 pm »
That won't be long -- within the next two chapters, part of which is already written -- though there'll be a last-minute snag and some revelations (in the story, that is!  ;) ).  If you haven't seen them already, there are photos of Grandma's Saloon in my blog -- it's somewhat important to local history as a de facto community center. That often happens with redevelopment in urban neighborhoods; in Atlanta, it was a place called Manuel's Tavern. 

Thanks for reading!

I hope all is well. I just wanted to let you know that I still look forward with anticipation to your next update.
Ian

Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #100 on: May 15, 2009, 12:17:17 pm »
I hope all is well. I just wanted to let you know that I still look forward with anticipation to your next update.
Ian

Everything is well, just going slow as usual. What I'm working on right now is two long chapters (or maybe three medium-length ones) that pretty much have to be posted at the same time -- fortunately, a lot of it was already written and I'm making some good progress.

It's seemed all along like Ennis and Jack are sitting around a campfire in some corner of my head and I check back with them every few days -- anything new yet? Most of the time, they just shake their heads and say 'aw, not now, come back tomorrow' and sooner or later they deliver. If I try to force it before they do that, chapter don't look right. And sometimes when they do come up with something, it's way ahead of what I'm working on, toward the end of the story. But Ennis' and Jack's final reunion is already written.
« Last Edit: May 16, 2009, 12:19:41 pm by Marge_Innavera »

retropian

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #101 on: May 15, 2009, 09:57:32 pm »
Everything is well, just going slow as usual. What I'm working on right now is two long chapters (or maybe three medium-length ones) that pretty much have to be posted at the same time -- fortunately, a lot of it was already written and I'm making some good progress.

It's seemed all along like Ennis and Jack are sitting around a campfire in some corner of my head and I check back with them every few days -- anything new yet? Most of the time, they just shake their heads and say 'aw, not know, come back tomorrow' and sooner or later they deliver. If I try to force it before they do that, chapter don't look right. And sometimes when they do come up with something, it's way ahead of what I'm working on, toward the end of the story. But Ennis' and Jack's final reunion is already written.

That's lovely. Jack and Ennis are your muses.

Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #102 on: July 19, 2009, 01:59:42 pm »
Two chapters posted this weekend:


Chapter 27: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/8869.html   
Chapter 28 Part 1: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/9090.html   

Chapter 28 is turning out to be very long, so I divided it into two smaller parts. Thanks for being patient, readers!

Will post related photos later this week.

retropian

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #103 on: July 21, 2009, 04:31:10 am »
Two chapters posted this weekend:


Chapter 27: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/8869.html   
Chapter 28 Part 1: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/9090.html   

Chapter 28 is turning out to be very long, so I divided it into two smaller parts. Thanks for being patient, readers!

Will post related photos later this week.


Poor David and Ennis, both dealing with loss. I think they will help each other heal. I like how Ennis is being more open about his feelings regarding his stay and who he's staying with. BTW I saw the actor whom you base David on in the Showtime series "The Tudors". It took me a minute to figure out why he looked familiar.

Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #104 on: February 28, 2010, 06:34:28 pm »
I know this fic has been MIA for a long time.  I was working on a long section that I'd decided needed to be posted all at one time.

Chapter 28 Part 2:  http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/9371.html 

Chapter 28 Part 2: http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/9498.html   


David tells Ennis the full story about Nathan and how he died, with Ennis finding some uncomfortable parallels here and there.


Chapter 29:   http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/10108.html   

Ennis and David start over and finish what they'd started in the kitchen.

Offline belbbmfan

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #105 on: March 01, 2010, 02:32:27 am »
Yay! Excellent news.  :)
'We're supposed to guard the sheep, not eat 'em'

Offline louisev

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #106 on: March 01, 2010, 05:02:45 pm »
Indeed very good news, Marcia!!!

Thanks for sticking with this!
“Mr. Coyote always gets me good, boy,”  Ellery said, winking.  “Almost forgot what life was like before I got me my own personal coyote.”


Offline ifyoucantfixit

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #107 on: March 01, 2010, 06:35:55 pm »
   I am so very glad that you are going ahead with this story.  I had given
up on it.  This last part was wonderful. 
   I am so looking forward to more.  Janice



     Beautiful mind

Offline ifyoucantfixit

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #108 on: March 01, 2010, 06:45:22 pm »
Chapter 25 is up, at http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/7723.html   

Ennis and David finally kiss -- after 25 chapters, but only a year in the plotline. Actually pretty fast progress for Ennis.


For views of jumpers at “the Deeps”, watch the video “A Day At the Deeps” at


    We have a  place near Portland, that is called The High Rocks, that reminds me very much of The Deeps.





The Deeps




Seven Bridges Road (autumn view)




     Beautiful mind

Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - Chapters 30-32
« Reply #109 on: June 21, 2011, 02:10:20 pm »
My forever-in-progress fanfic has been suspended for awhile, but I'm now adding to it again – here's four new chapters.

Ennis puts down more roots in Duluth and faces some realities about coming out; Jack helps him rethink a bad decision.


Chapter 30

Chapter 31, Part 1

Chapter 31, Part 2

Chapter 32

Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #110 on: October 28, 2011, 08:54:23 am »
Chapter 33 of my forever-in-progress Minnesota fanfic.  Ennis realizes he's made a mistake and tries to win David back via his first-ever same-sex date:

Chapter 33:  http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/11931.html   
Notes/Index, Chapter 33:  http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/12217.html   

The "notes" entry is due to this chapter being quite long.  Links to info about the Rustic Inn Cafe, one of the North Shore's longest-running restaurants, and Split Rock Lighthouse.

Marge_Innavera

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Re: Gift of Exile - first fanfic
« Reply #111 on: November 22, 2011, 08:02:50 pm »

Chapter 34:

"Jack stood at the edge of a low bluff, looking down at the river and the log bridge.  He was smoking and his face was troubled and serious.  It was high summer, the grass on the slopes growing a little darker and the constant wind a little warmer.  The smoke from Jack’s cigarette swirled over his head idly, unaffected by the ceaseless Wyoming wind, which didn’t lift the brim of  his hat even slightly  The surroundings on Brokeback were real enough but a hiker, camper or sheep herder would not have been able to see him."


http://talkstocoyotes.livejournal.com/12435.html