Gift of Exile - first fanfic

[louisev]

oh great!  I thought you had snuck off with the ending!

I give about one or two story recs per lifetime, as many people know... and this is one of them!

[Marge_Innavera]

oh great!  I thought you had snuck off with the ending!

Mea culpa. Choi oi!

I tried a disastrous experiment with posting just Chapter 16 on bbmslash and Wranglers with links to the chapters before. Never again! Some of the people who commented said they'd almost missed the two preceding chapters and a few thought Chapter 16 was the end of the story!

At least they let me know - I went back and posted the other two to the communities, better late than never. Glad you're still reading, Louise, and thanks for the rec.   

[mvansand76]

I think I need to read this from the beginning again, because I can't seem to get back into it without doing that. But, I love your writing Marge and that chapter with Jack and Ennis' wedding night moved me to tears, so it's worth reading again!

[one_of_one]

 I read quite a substantial part of this to start with because I arrived rather late to the party and now I'm reading a couple of chapters at a time feel i'm missing out on a lot because I forget things and reading sporadically just doesn't have the same sense of satisfaction as reading all in one go had.  I just saw your post, Mel, and I feel that way with a lot of fics.  When I reread The Belwether recently it was amazing how much better it was being able to go straight through. 

So I'm going to set aside some time this weekend to reread Gift of Exile.  I really love the classy way Marcia writes this moving on scenario...from right at the start when Ennis met David and the fact that he was gay was out in the open, nothing to be wondered about, through the scene where they brushed hands and Ennis had an urge to slide his hand up David's shirt, right through to their ongoing conversations on the phone which have now left Ennis in the position of having to phone David instead of David calling him.

I think the whole thing is so good and believable.  Even the metaphysical aspects with Jack.  I liked them having that time together on the mountain, that it gave Ennis the reassurance that whatever happened in the future there was no necessity for him to wallow in grief for the rest of his life, that along with the unhappy times he had some very good times to think about and remember, both in the real world and in some other in between place.

A wonderful story!

[louisev]

I admit, I am full up, having just ploughed through the editing and rendering-down of 40,000 words of another unrelated story... I function best when I am editing one thing and taking breaks from it to write others, and have done NO reading this week.  Which means when I burn out on editing again NEXT week I'll have plenty to read.

But I truly savored the "Wedding Night" chapters, enough hotness to show Ennis's yearning, and a very original evocation of the relationship between Jack and Ennis.  Yeah, I got dewy, but in your hands, Marcia, the sense of despair and loss are offset well by the hope for the future, and there is a sense in your work (and I wish it was in mine) that Ennis does not have to choose between holding onto the sweet moments of his past and Jack, and moving forward, because there is a natural progression from one to the other. I think you conveyed this transition somewhat better than I did, and made me do some more thinking.

[Bigheart]

I started reading this story way back in June and remember loving it but having to stop reading because of the long summer holiday I took.
I've started reading it again just now, mainly because of what Helen said, cause I know that I nearly always love the fics she reccs, and I'm so so glad I did  I'd forgotten how truly wonderful it is. I've just finished chapter 6. Your way with words is so beautiful, Marge. The way you write Ennis and how he grieves for Jack; I find his dreams amazing. And like so many others, I also loved Jack's wording "changin horses" Beautiful. And I'm really really curious about David.

Thank you so much  *off to chapter 7*  It's the perfect day for staying in and reading too, dark, stormy and raining!! 

[Marge_Innavera]

I read quite a substantial part of this to start with because I arrived rather late to the party and now I'm reading a couple of chapters at a time feel i'm missing out on a lot because I forget things and reading sporadically just doesn't have the same sense of satisfaction as reading all in one go had.  . . .

I'm glad to see posts from people saying they're reading it straight through. That's a difference between publishing a story in the usual way and doing it in fits and starts like many of these fanfictions are. In the 19th century, people were used to reading stories in serial form, but technology has moved on since then and a chapter here-chapter there can be problematical. I noticed that Roots was written in its entirety and then posted - would have loved to do it that way, but at the point where I'm at, I would have run out of creative steam early. That psychological battery-charge of seeing chapters posted, plus getting the feedback, was just necessary at this point. And I'm lucky so far in that with only a few exceptions, all the criticism I've gotten has been truly constructive and useful.  But no way around it, the first chapter was written 6-7 months ago!

...from right at the start when Ennis met David and the fact that he was gay was out in the open, nothing to be wondered about, through the scene where they brushed hands and Ennis had an urge to slide his hand up David's shirt, right through to their ongoing conversations on the phone which have now left Ennis in the position of having to phone David instead of David calling him.

That early disclosure, I felt was necessary given how early in the coming-out process Ennis is. And getting to know each other over the phone would be a non-threatening way for Ennis to get used to interacting with another gay man. i.e., the other guy is hundreds of miles away and if he ever pushed the boundaries too quickly Ennis had the option of just hanging up. He could compartmentalize it, which he still needs to do at that point, but calling David up and saying 'yeah, I'll come out and visit' was that big step off the cliff.

Thanks for reading!   

[Marge_Innavera]

I admit, I am full up, having just ploughed through the editing and rendering-down of 40,000 words of another unrelated story... I function best when I am editing one thing and taking breaks from it to write others, and have done NO reading this week.  Which means when I burn out on editing again NEXT week I'll have plenty to read.

Would that I had that amount of energy!

But I truly savored the "Wedding Night" chapters, enough hotness to show Ennis's yearning, and a very original evocation of the relationship between Jack and Ennis.  Yeah, I got dewy, but in your hands, Marcia, the sense of despair and loss are offset well by the hope for the future, and there is a sense in your work (and I wish it was in mine) that Ennis does not have to choose between holding onto the sweet moments of his past and Jack, and moving forward, because there is a natural progression from one to the other.

Aside from the fact that Ennis and Jack will have a better immediate future if Ennis manages to finish what he was supposed to accomplish, his coming out of that dungeon of repression and self-denial (in the negative sense) would be a direct result of his relationship with Jack. IMO, the notion that this would amount to Ennis benefitting and Jack getting the 'fuzzy end of the lollipop' is an unnecessarily short perspective. The best tribute to a great love is a maturing and strengthening of the lover's soul.

I think you conveyed this transition somewhat better than I did, and made me do some more thinking.

IMO that isn't an either-or thing; we're just writing two very different stories. The common thread in both of them is Ennis dealing with all this in stages, and with atonement being made via constructive though often difficult effort, and not with suffering through a bleak existence. Suffering might teach you the seriousness of your failures; atonement is something else altogether.

[Marge_Innavera]

I've just finished chapter 6. Your way with words is so beautiful, Marge. The way you write Ennis and how he grieves for Jack; I find his dreams amazing. And like so many others, I also loved Jack's wording "changin horses" Beautiful. And I'm really really curious about David.

After Chapter 16, there will be a major change in venue, and more about David and Nathan at that point, though I want to keep the focus on Ennis. Basically, Ennis will have to start putting some of what he's learned into practice.

Thank you so much  *off to chapter 7*  It's the perfect day for staying in and reading too, dark, stormy and raining!! 

You know, I haven't had anyone mention this but in Chapter 8, the flashback to Ennis' return from Lightning Flat with the shirts shows him turning a major, though painful, corner.  The impression I had of the last scene in the film, on the very first viewing, was that the trailer was so sparsely furnished because it reflected the stage Ennis had gone through after the scene at Jack's parents.  His feeling in that flashback of being "stripped down to the bare bones" and half-expecting to see a skeleton in the mirror was one of those things that just appeared in my head. But in terms of archetypes, bones often represent the indestructible part of the soul, or the saving remnant that's a basis for rebuilding.

Writing is such a mysterious thing, it seems. I'd love it if all of the process is just the words pouring out of you but there seems to be a rhythm to it between inspiration and just hard, weed-pulling work.  One of the more inspirational things about this project, as it's turned out, is the interaction with people who are reading. These posts, and the comments after the chapters, have turned out to be such a major part of it.

If it were only raining and stormy here!  We had an obnoxious ice storm last weekend, and more snow today; after what had looked like a mild winter.

[Bigheart]

After Chapter 16, there will be a major change in venue, and more about David and Nathan at that point, though I want to keep the focus on Ennis. Basically, Ennis will have to start putting some of what he's learned into practice.

You know, I haven't had anyone mention this but in Chapter 8, the flashback to Ennis' return from Lightning Flat with the shirts shows him turning a major, though painful, corner.  The impression I had of the last scene in the film, on the very first viewing, was that the trailer was so sparsely furnished because it reflected the stage Ennis had gone through after the scene at Jack's parents.  His feeling in that flashback of being "stripped down to the bare bones" and half-expecting to see a skeleton in the mirror was one of those things that just appeared in my head. But in terms of archetypes, bones often represent the indestructible part of the soul, or the saving remnant that's a basis for rebuilding.

Writing is such a mysterious thing, it seems. I'd love it if all of the process is just the words pouring out of you but there seems to be a rhythm to it between inspiration and just hard, weed-pulling work.  One of the more inspirational things about this project, as it's turned out, is the interaction with people who are reading. These posts, and the comments after the chapters, have turned out to be such a major part of it.

If it were only raining and stormy here!  We had an obnoxious ice storm last weekend, and more snow today; after what had looked like a mild winter.

That part just cut my heart out but it was so beautifully written.

Well I'll just have to post and leave more comments then! 

Oh believe me, you don't want the storms and rain we've had here in Holland and Europe the last couple of days! A few of the houses rooftops were half blown off in my neighbourhood on Thursday!

I've read everything now and I just have to say that I'm so in love with the way you're writing this story. I was so pleased Ennis picked up that phone! And I must say, David's offer was a complete surprise to me! I can't wait for more on this