Author Topic: Rabbi says Gay or Straight, He's Still Your Husband , no divorce  (Read 6345 times)

Offline delalluvia

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Re: Rabbi says Gay or Straight, He's Still Your Husband , no divorce
« Reply #10 on: July 30, 2006, 12:03:36 pm »
Well as a kid who grow up in a broken home I will say that two parents who  are mature enought to put their differences aside and concentrate on bringing up ther kids are much better off.

To each their own, I suppose.  But studies don't support your view.   Last I read, studies said that even chldren from broken homes, provided they're given love and support from their divorced parents, grow up just fine.

My best friend in high school was from a broken family but she didn't know it.  Her parents were going to get divorced, but didn't do so for the 'sake of the kids'.  There was no shouting or arguing or violence, but she could tell there was an undercurrent of unhappiness and tension and nights when her parents weren't speaking or her dad would leave to go sleep in his rental house across the street...and she never knew why or what was going on.

Kids pick up a lot more than one would think.

That she ended up growing up tense and insecure is a given don't you think considering her environment?

When she graduated college, her parents finally told her and her reply to them was a terse "Don't do me any more favors."  She's going to have to deal with the results of her parents 'putting the kids first' for the rest of her life.

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Most people who get married take the vow "forsake all others, for better for worse" something that should not be taken lighty.

I'm sure they don't, but of course, those vows were written when women didn't have much of a choice and were forced to stay with abusive, alcoholic or otherwise unfitting partners.

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It's unfortunate that with  todays divorce rate at over 50% far to many people do.

Makes you wonder if the divorce rate would have been just as higher in the past

1) if statistics had been kept
2) women had more choice

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If the two people making those vows decide they no longer want to thats one thing, however the  children those two have created, way different, its breaking up a  family.

Once the husband and wife no longer want to be together, the family's already broken.
« Last Edit: July 30, 2006, 12:06:41 pm by delalluvia »

Offline henrypie

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Re: Rabbi says Gay or Straight, He's Still Your Husband , no divorce
« Reply #11 on: July 30, 2006, 12:57:19 pm »
Hey dela,
I agree with everything EXCEPT: children pick up everything, not just more than we think.  They are little sensing-mobiles, all antennae and whiskers.  Adults who think they can fool children are fooling themselves.

Offline delalluvia

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Re: Rabbi says Gay or Straight, He's Still Your Husband , no divorce
« Reply #12 on: July 30, 2006, 01:42:43 pm »
Hey dela,
I agree with everything EXCEPT: children pick up everything, not just more than we think.  They are little sensing-mobiles, all antennae and whiskers.  Adults who think they can fool children are fooling themselves.

Hiya pie,

I must say that it depends on the child which is why I put the qualifier on it.  I was Alma Jr., my father had multiple affairs when I was a child and even took me to visit his mistresses and I never suspected a thing.
« Last Edit: July 30, 2006, 01:44:31 pm by delalluvia »

Offline henrypie

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Re: Rabbi says Gay or Straight, He's Still Your Husband , no divorce
« Reply #13 on: July 30, 2006, 09:20:03 pm »
Ah.  Yeah, I see your point.  But I do think in terms of knowing how people really FEEL, not necessarily the mechanics and details of what they were doing, is where you can't fool a kid.

Offline delalluvia

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Re: Rabbi says Gay or Straight, He's Still Your Husband , no divorce
« Reply #14 on: July 30, 2006, 11:09:25 pm »
Ah.  Yeah, I see your point.  But I do think in terms of knowing how people really FEEL, not necessarily the mechanics and details of what they were doing, is where you can't fool a kid.

[embarrassed face]  I must have been a completely clueless kid.  I had no clue that anyone in my family was unhappy.