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Author Topic: If I Asked by Midwest-girl  (Read 57698 times)

Offline littleguitar

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If I Asked by Midwest-girl
« on: August 03, 2006, 10:00:05 pm »
I wanted to call attention to this fan fic that I've been reading and enjoying for a little while now.  It's an AU called If I Asked.  It explores what would have happened if Jack hadn't taken no for an answer to that sweet life he wanted from Ennis when after the reunion he makes the decision to stay in Riverton and try and get Ennis to come around.  So far it's 12 chapters (the 12th posted tonight).  They can be found here

http://midwest-girl.livejournal.com/


For updates, check brokebackslash at livejournal

Enjoy!!  :)
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‘cause the truth is, I already give him everythin’ I got to give, more than I ever even knew I had; ‘n it all for him, all of it, him who is my brother, my father, my child, my friend, my lover, my heart, my soul; my Ennis.

-- del Mar Painting, Ch. 48 by b73

Offline notBastet

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Re: If I Asked by Midwest-girl
« Reply #1 on: August 03, 2006, 11:26:14 pm »
Hi there,

It finished tonight.  What did you think?

Kelly
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“It can be a little distressing to have to overintellectualize yourself” - Heath Ledger

Offline littleguitar

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Re: If I Asked by Midwest-girl
« Reply #2 on: August 04, 2006, 12:59:58 am »
I just realized it was the last chapter, I wasn't expecting that at all!

Overall I really enjoyed it, though I do think the end came a bit quickly... she tried to force a lot into that last chapter that I don't think the story was quite ready for yet... but overall I liked it.  It's been one of my favorite fics so far.

What did you think?
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‘cause the truth is, I already give him everythin’ I got to give, more than I ever even knew I had; ‘n it all for him, all of it, him who is my brother, my father, my child, my friend, my lover, my heart, my soul; my Ennis.

-- del Mar Painting, Ch. 48 by b73

mvansand76

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Re: If I Asked by Midwest-girl
« Reply #3 on: August 04, 2006, 06:54:39 am »
Oh no, 12 is the last chapter?  :'( :'( :'(
That makes me really sad, I really liked this!

No spoilers please, I am going to read this tonight!
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Offline notBastet

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Re: If I Asked by Midwest-girl
« Reply #4 on: August 04, 2006, 07:48:09 pm »
Quote from: littleguitar on August 04, 2006, 12:59:58 am
I just realized it was the last chapter, I wasn't expecting that at all!

Overall I really enjoyed it, though I do think the end came a bit quickly... she tried to force a lot into that last chapter that I don't think the story was quite ready for yet... but overall I liked it.  It's been one of my favorite fics so far.

What did you think?
SPOILER
Overall, I really liked it.  It was very much a Jack story, imo.  I actually found Ennis too good to be true in the first part of chapter 11.  But I really enjoyed the story overall.  I thought it was realistic (but sad) how Ennis turned the light on and off in 'his' room every night, and they didn't always go out in public together.  I'd have to go back and reread in entirety to really decide whether it ended abruptly.
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“It can be a little distressing to have to overintellectualize yourself” - Heath Ledger

Offline littleguitar

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Re: If I Asked by Midwest-girl
« Reply #5 on: August 04, 2006, 08:28:20 pm »
Quote from: notBastet on August 04, 2006, 07:48:09 pm
SPOILER
Overall, I really liked it.  It was very much a Jack story, imo.  I actually found Ennis too good to be true in the first part of chapter 11.  But I really enjoyed the story overall.  I thought it was realistic (but sad) how Ennis turned the light on and off in 'his' room every night, and they didn't always go out in public together.  I'd have to go back and reread in entirety to really decide whether it ended abruptly.


Yeah I'm going to have to go back and re read it as well, it's really hard when you are only reading one chapter every week to 2 weeks to get the feel for the story as a whole.  I also thought that little touch was sad and realistic... I also love at the beginning the way Jack says goodbye to Bobby and the way it makes him feel, I thought that was realistic as well.
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‘cause the truth is, I already give him everythin’ I got to give, more than I ever even knew I had; ‘n it all for him, all of it, him who is my brother, my father, my child, my friend, my lover, my heart, my soul; my Ennis.

-- del Mar Painting, Ch. 48 by b73

Offline opinionista

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Re: If I Asked by Midwest-girl
« Reply #6 on: August 05, 2006, 03:50:18 pm »
I don't mean to be disrespectful or anything but I had trouble reading this story, and had to stop. The idea is good but the way is written makes it hard for me to understand. Also there are a few passages that didn't make much sense, and the dialogue needs some work. Sometimes it doesn't sound real.  Maybe it is me, that I'm not a English native but I wish the author had used Proulx short story as a reference to describe their accents, and ways of speaking. Not sure if you get my meaning. I apologize if I offend anyone with these remarks. Send me a PM if you are offended, and I delete it.
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Offline notBastet

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Re: If I Asked by Midwest-girl
« Reply #7 on: August 05, 2006, 04:24:21 pm »
Hi N,

Is there a specific part you had trouble with, maybe I can help? (you can pm me if you want.) 
I didn't really have any trouble at all.  I kinda liked that it was written differently than Proulx's style.  I think this was very much a Jack story, compared to the original which was basically an Ennis story.  It was nice to know exactly what was going on in Jack's head for a change, rather than having to wonder and sort out the ambiguity.

=)
Kelly
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Offline littleguitar

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Re: If I Asked by Midwest-girl
« Reply #8 on: August 06, 2006, 11:08:42 am »
Quote from: notBastet on August 05, 2006, 04:24:21 pm
Hi N,

Is there a specific part you had trouble with, maybe I can help? (you can pm me if you want.) 
I didn't really have any trouble at all.  I kinda liked that it was written differently than Proulx's style.  I think this was very much a Jack story, compared to the original which was basically an Ennis story.  It was nice to know exactly what was going on in Jack's head for a change, rather than having to wonder and sort out the ambiguity.

=)
Kelly


I agree, I actually found the dialogue realistic and enjoyed the fact that it was written differently than Proulx for the same reason.  I may be one of the few on the board who think this, but I don't think that Annie Proulx is that amazing of a writer... I had read her short story and liked the story but hated the writing, if it weren't for the film, I probably never would have thought twice about Brokeback Mountain... That isn't to say that I think Midwest-girl's writing is better than Proulx's, just that I don't mind that she broke away from her style.

And don't worry, you didn't offend anyone! You never have to worry about that around here (I have a feeling I'm going to get more heat for what I just said about Annie anyway  ;) )
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‘cause the truth is, I already give him everythin’ I got to give, more than I ever even knew I had; ‘n it all for him, all of it, him who is my brother, my father, my child, my friend, my lover, my heart, my soul; my Ennis.

-- del Mar Painting, Ch. 48 by b73

mvansand76

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Re: If I Asked by Midwest-girl
« Reply #9 on: August 06, 2006, 11:15:18 am »
I have to agree, this was actually one of the few fanfiction stories in which I found the dialogue completely realistic, maybe not entirely in the context of Annie Proulx' way of writing, but you should not compare when reading fanfiction. I was sad that it was the last chapter, but I guess she could have gone on and on with this story, and am glad she didn't.
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