Off-site discussion of BetterMost posts

[Shasta542]

... sounds pretty boring to me ...... but it's much better when people don't make snide catty remarks about each other just because they disagree. 

Well. Here's my problem. I disagree a lot. And I try not to be snide or catty. But when I present a view that is different from the OP -- many times there are 6-8 people who come and give a rebuttal to whatever I say. I have to answer all those people and they just have to answer me. It's frustrating, so it's easier just to keep my mouth shut. You aren't going to see a lot of disagreement that way.

[serious crayons]

Well. Here's my problem. I disagree a lot. And I try not to be snide or catty. But when I present a view that is different from the OP -- many times there are 6-8 people who come and give a rebuttal to whatever I say. I have to answer all those people and they just have to answer me. It's frustrating, so it's easier just to keep my mouth shut. You aren't going to see a lot of disagreement that way.

I can understand your dilemma, Shasta. But how else could it work? You tend to be politically conservative, and you're on a site where the majority of members tend to be politically liberal (note: there are of course varying degrees, exceptions, overlap, etc.). If you want to express a view that's different from the OP's, most likely others will want to express a view that is different from yours. But it needn't get hostile or insulting.

I welcome a diversity of opinions here, as long as people express them respectfully. I've been really pleased with the tone here over the past few weeks, and would be happy if people with minority viewpoints would jump in and discuss them while maintaining that friendly atmosphere.

[Shasta542]

I can understand your dilemma, Shasta. But how else could it work? You tend to be politically conservative, and you're on a site where the majority of members tend to be politically liberal (note: there are of course varying degrees, exceptions, overlap, etc.). If you want to express a view that's different from the OP's, most likely others will want to express a view that is different from yours. But it needn't get hostile or insulting.

I welcome a diversity of opinions here, as long as people express them respectfully. I've been really pleased with the tone here over the past few weeks, and would be happy if people with minority viewpoints would jump in and discuss them while maintaining that friendly atmosphere.

The minority opinion people here feel ganged up on. I know a couple of others here who are conservative, but they know how it goes, so they stay off any controversial topics. You may not be able to see it since most of your opinions are not conservative, but it's really not a free feeling. I know we can discuss without getting mad, but it's still hard when one person has to answer several. And -- some non-conservatives say things like...how stupid or how low class, etc. Things like that--maybe not aimed at a certain person, but definitely aimed at a certain person's beliefs.

[bailey1205]

I think both sides of participated in snark at different opinions.  BOTH sides.

I am guilty myself.

I think if one disagrees, it needn't be personal.

This site does have a majority of more liberal views. 

I think it is how we approach each other, and I've always thought, or wished
we could talk without snark.  I think some enjoy that though.

So, why don't we all join hands and sing....."we are the world".

 

[Jeff Wrangler]

I can understand your dilemma, Shasta. But how else could it work? You tend to be politically conservative, and you're on a site where the majority of members tend to be politically liberal (note: there are of course varying degrees, exceptions, overlap, etc.). If you want to express a view that's different from the OP's, most likely others will want to express a view that is different from yours. But it needn't get hostile or insulting.

I welcome a diversity of opinions here, as long as people express them respectfully. I've been really pleased with the tone here over the past few weeks, and would be happy if people with minority viewpoints would jump in and discuss them while maintaining that friendly atmosphere.

FWIW, it also seems to me that there is a difference between presenting and discussing differing opinions and creating threads with deliberately provocative titles that clearly indicated the writer's view. In the past there were threads created, especially in Current Events, with titles that looked to me like the writer was deliberately "spoiling for a fight," just daring people to argue in rebuttal.

Just to make up an example of what I'm trying to say, I think there is a difference between "Obama Health Plan is Socialism!" and "Elements of Socialism in Obama's Health Plan?" The first looks to me like an attack on the President and deliberately dares his supporters to come to his defense. The second asks a question and opens the door for a discussion and a sharing of opinions whether or not those opinions differ.

It was the deliberately provocative thread titles that I really disliked, and they sort of made me sad, too.

[Shasta542]

It's hard to be a minority, I know.  Just imagine it's your family implying that you're stupid and low class, and add to that, sinful.  Imagine them telling you you're going to hell if you don't get to be more like them.  It sucks.   

Let's go join a kiss-in and maybe we'll feel better.    

 

[serious crayons]

The minority opinion people here feel ganged up on. I know a couple of others here who are conservative, but they know how it goes, so they stay off any controversial topics. You may not be able to see it since most of your opinions are not conservative, but it's really not a free feeling. I know we can discuss without getting mad, but it's still hard when one person has to answer several.

I know, and actually I do see it. But like I say, I don't know how to get around that. Most gay people and supporters of gay people (not all, I know!) tend to be liberal, and this site tends to attract people in those groups.

And -- some non-conservatives say things like...how stupid or how low class, etc. Things like that--maybe not aimed at a certain person, but definitely aimed at a certain person's beliefs.

Yes, but I do think the insults have gone both ways. For example, I've seen some posts that suggest the poster feels the word "elite" automatically always goes in front of "leftists" or "liberals." And yes, it may sting less when one feels in the majority, just as "honky" is not as hurtful as the n-word, and "breeder" less hurtful than the f-word. Still, name calling and insults are not conducive to pleasant conversation or debate regardless of which way they flow.

I just think we should all try to keep these issues in mind and be as friendly, respectful and non-combative as possible.

[Shasta542]

FWIW, it also seems to me that there is a difference between presenting and discussing differing opinions and creating threads with deliberately provocative titles that clearly indicated the writer's view. In the past there were threads created, especially in Current Events, with titles that looked to me like the writer was deliberately "spoiling for a fight," just daring people to argue in rebuttal.

Just to make up an example of what I'm trying to say, I think there is a difference between "Obama Health Plan is Socialism!" and "Elements of Socialism in Obama's Health Plan?" The first looks to me like an attack on the President and deliberately dares his supporters to come to his defense. The second asks a question and opens the door for a discussion and a sharing of opinions whether or not those opinions differ.

It was the deliberately provocative thread titles that I really disliked, and they sort of made me sad, too.

That happened--and although your example would come from a conservative--if the provocative thread titles were counted....there'd be as many or more that were begun by liberals.

[Shasta542]

I know, and actually I do see it. But like I say, I don't know how to get around that. Most gay people and supporters of gay people (not all, I know!) tend to be liberal, and this site tends to attract people in those groups.

Yes, but I do think the insults have gone both ways. For example, I've seen some posts that suggest the poster feels the word "elite" automatically always goes in front of "leftists" or "liberals." And yes, it may sting less when one feels in the majority, just as "honky" is not as hurtful as the n-word, and "breeder" less hurtful than the f-word. Still, name calling and insults are not conducive to pleasant conversation or debate regardless of which way they flow.

I just think we should all try to keep these issues in mind and be as friendly, respectful and non-combative as possible.

Well. I'm glad that you see how it is. And I'm just saying this to let you all know that it is not an inviting place for differing views to be presented. You have to have a tough skin and some patience to say anything that strays off the beaten path.

[Jeff Wrangler]

So, why don't we all join hands and sing....."we are the world".

 

Or "Kumbayah."