Author Topic: TOTW 08/09: What would you say to Jack?  (Read 11438 times)

Offline Penthesilea

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TOTW 08/09: What would you say to Jack?
« on: September 14, 2009, 03:16:47 am »
"You can't have Ennis without Jack." - Annie Proulx

Ergo, here is the matching part to our What would you say to Ennis? TOTW recently.

Thanks to Amanda (atz75) for the topic suggestion!

What would you say to Jack?

Just like the matching Ennis topic, you can choose whatever situation/stage of life you want.
Go on, and let him (us!) hear it :).





Offline gwyllion

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Re: TOTW 08/09: What would you say to Jack?
« Reply #1 on: September 14, 2009, 08:39:37 am »
Jack,

You are a smart dude, but you need to get your shit together.  I hate seeing you like this.  Stop running off to Randall and down to Mexico.  That ain't gonna fix what's eating at you.  You know that when Ennis isn't around, you miss him so much that you can hardly stand it.  You're killing yourself.  There's only one thing you can do.  Fortunately for you, the solution to all this hurt is totally within your reach. 

Move to Wyoming, Jack.  You know LD will give you the money to help you get started with a place to live and work.  You won't really miss Bobby and Lureen too much, besides, you can go visit Bobby whenever you want because you have those rights.  I don't think Lureen will make it too hard on you anyway.  And, there's always the telephone. 

You used to be ambitious and full of hope.  That was when I remember you at your happiest.  You can be that way again.  Find a job or set yourself up in a business that you can run.  You will be good at whatever you do because not only do you have the motivation and intelligence to succeed, but also there is a tangible reward for you at the end of the day.  It won't take 14 hours of driving to be with Ennis. 

Think about it.  You two can hang out together.  In just a short time, you might convince him to get divorced.  He'd still be close to his girls, so he wouldn't have that as an excuse.  Even if he works all the time, there would be nothing to prevent you two from going out for a beer once a week.  You can convince him that he will be happy with you.  You can make him forget about Rich and Earl.  In time, you might make him believe that there's nothing wrong with two guys living together.  But you need to make that move.  It's the only thing that will get the ball rolling.  I know you can do it!

XO
Donna

And for God's sake, read some fanfiction.  We have it all worked out for you two.
A companion where none had been expected...

Offline Marina

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Re: TOTW 08/09: What would you say to Jack?
« Reply #2 on: September 14, 2009, 09:24:52 am »
This is such a great question too, complimentary to the one about Ennis - I've thought a lot about this too.  After giving him a huge hug and kiss because I adore him so much, I'd tell him he's absolutely right in his feelings, it's very beautiful, the real thing is worth it, and to go for it - tell Ennis outright - what he and Ennis have is the real deal.  I know Ennis was so fearful and determined not to because he felt it wasn't safe, but you are a very brave soul, and it would be so worthwhile.  :)
« Last Edit: September 15, 2009, 12:21:39 am by marina del mar »
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Offline Monika

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Re: TOTW 08/09: What would you say to Jack?
« Reply #3 on: September 14, 2009, 04:53:06 pm »
I love you, Jack. I love your ability to dream, how you wear your heart on your sleeve and the serious more darker side of you that we only get glimpses of.
I want to give you a big hug and comfort you.

and a couple of pieces of advice...

Leave Lureen. It´s not fair to her to stay in the marriage
Don´t give up on Ennis. He loves you.

Offline southendmd

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Re: TOTW 08/09: What would you say to Jack?
« Reply #4 on: September 14, 2009, 05:36:27 pm »
Ditch Ennis--I'll give you a sweet life!

(just kidding...)

Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: TOTW 08/09: What would you say to Jack?
« Reply #5 on: September 14, 2009, 05:37:03 pm »
"Hey, Cowboy. Come here often?"

 ;D
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline Lumière

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Re: TOTW 08/09: What would you say to Jack?
« Reply #6 on: September 14, 2009, 07:08:52 pm »

I will have to come back and have a heart-to-heart with Jack a bit later, once I've gathered my thoughts...

...I had a fair idea of what to say before I came in here & got hypnotized by Paul's siggie.  ;)


Offline Brown Eyes

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Re: TOTW 08/09: What would you say to Jack?
« Reply #7 on: September 14, 2009, 09:27:56 pm »
I will have to come back and have a heart-to-heart with Jack a bit later, once I've gathered my thoughts...

...I had a fair idea of what to say before I came in here & got hypnotized by Paul's siggie.  ;)

Heya M!!  :-*  I agree with your sentiments here entirely.  First off, both you and Paul have the coolest of cool signatures... routinely! 

And, while I requested this topic and am thrilled to see it... I find it hard to compose an answer to the question.  I had a hard time with the Ennis topic too.  I'll have to think on this one a bit.

Aside from the hugs and encouragment that others here have suggested, one thing that comes to my mind as a piece of advice for Jack would be to think about his timing a little bit more.  Jack sometimes seems so sweet and optimistic that he maybe both overwhelms the more reticent Ennis and misreads the best time to make certain suggestions... maybe out of his own enthusiasm.  I've always thought that the cow and calf suggestion, while totally sweet, came way too quickly.  They'd just gotten back together and Ennis was clearly enjoying the reunion and was probably more relaxed than he had been in 4 years.  But, for Jack to propose moving in together seems too quick.   Sometimes I wonder if Jack's timing on certain things might have been different, things might have gone slightly differently.

I would also have talked to him explicitly about his role in leading the relationship along.  I think if he had a firmer idea that he had such an impact on Ennis... just through leading by example... that also might have made a big difference.  It's interesting that Jack's status of being a few steps ahead of Ennis most of the time... to Jack feels like being on a short leash.

It makes me wonder how far Jack could have gone without Ennis... imaginining a scenario where they never met to begin with... in terms of really embracing his sexuality, coming out, etc.


the world was asleep to our latent fuss - bowie

Offline Lumière

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Re: TOTW 08/09: What would you say to Jack?
« Reply #8 on: September 15, 2009, 03:01:07 pm »
Here's only part of what I feel I can say to Jack today..



Jack,


I think I understand why you stayed with Lureen even though you knew she was not the one you wanted to be with.  Perhaps you felt that marriage offered a security and a certain manner of life you had gotten used to over the years.  Perhaps you stayed for Bobby's sake.  Perhaps you weren't sure what you would do with yourself if you left Lureen and couldn't completely commit to a life with Ennis.  Perhaps you felt deep down that you would scare Ennis away if you took away the cover of your marriage which made your relationship appear 'innocent enough' in the eyes of the world.  Perhaps you stayed with her because you wanted Ennis himself to tell you to leave her... I am sure there are many reasons why things turned out the way they did.

You weaved a beautiful dream of a happy life together, and placed it at Ennis' feet.  But he did not know what to make of it or what to do with it, Jack.  You knew Ennis more than anyone else.  That much was clear. You saw how hard it was for him to acknowledge, let alone accept that "this thing" between you two was bigger than a couple of nights camping a few months a year.  He was never going to agree to leave his wife right after you'd just gotten back together after 4 years.  Just like he was not going to want to relocate to Texas after he confided in you that he was terrified of people "looking at him like they knew".  He just didn't see things the same way you saw them, as far as the future of your relationship was concerned.  I get your frustration and I commend you for not giving up.  I think towards the end, he was starting to realize the depth of what you two had, but by then, it was too late.

I wish you'd gotten the chance to fully live the life you dreamed for the pair of you.
I wish you'd felt free enough to be yourself, even though Ennis was reluctant to embrace it.
I understand why you decided to move on with someone else who was willing to be with you the way Ennis couldn't/wouldn't.
I often wonder if Ennis would've realized just how much he'd lost once you set up that cabin with another man. 
Maybe that would've been drastic enough to wake him up; we'll never know.

Even though your relationship with Ennis was far from ideal, I know that you did not love in vain.


Offline Monika

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Re: TOTW 08/09: What would you say to Jack?
« Reply #9 on: September 19, 2009, 07:38:52 am »
Think about it.  You two can hang out together.  In just a short time, you might convince him to get divorced.  He'd still be close to his girls, so he wouldn't have that as an excuse.  Even if he works all the time, there would be nothing to prevent you two from going out for a beer once a week.  You can convince him that he will be happy with you.  You can make him forget about Rich and Earl.  In time, you might make him believe that there's nothing wrong with two guys living together.  But you need to make that move.  It's the only thing that will get the ball rolling.  I know you can do it!

I just now watched their last argument followed by the dozy embrace scene and it struck me how much Ennis really belongs to Jack - body and soul. His whole life revolves around Jack and I really felt that if Jack only had just pushed him a little bit more, he would have surrendered. How could he not have?

So I agree, if Jack had perhaps moved to Wyoming and showed him he meant business....might have done the trick.


But then, another part of my brain says that it would have been impossible either way. I don´t know. I guess the conflict in my thinking is that "open space" between what I wish to happen and what I think is possible.