Author Topic: My Husband has Cancer  (Read 11271 times)

Offline Katie77

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My Husband has Cancer
« on: September 27, 2009, 03:17:43 am »
Hello to all my friends. We have been in Brisbane for the past 4weeks, Bob being an in patient at Wesley hospital and I am now writing to all of you to let you know what is happening with my dear husband.
 
As most of you know, they found a tumour on his sacrum joint last December and a small one on his lung. These were diagonsed as secondaries from a melanoma he had removed four years before hand. Radiation treatment did shrink the one on his lung, but it didn't seem to do much for the one on the sacrum, and cosequently he has been in terrible pain all year. Other procedures to try to shrink the tumour gave him a small bit of relief for a while, but not for long.
 
We have been here at Wesley this past month, to allow the doctors to work on a mixture of pain medications to completely free him of pain, and after a lot of trial and error they have found the right mixture,which at the moment is being intravenously injected, but will be converted to a patch tomorrow which will make things much easier.
 
The good news on the pain relief was short lived, as they then did a Cat scan, and found several other tumours in his body. Stomach, spleen, lung, adrenal gland and one on his vertebrae in the middle of his back. They feared this one would press on his spinal chord and cripple him and so intensvie radiation was performed last week, and successfully shrunk the tumour. They also found that the tumour on the sacrum has crushed some of the bone there, and as well he has a slight fracture on his hip.
 
After a week being made to lie in bed 24/7 they got him out of bed on Thursday, not even sure if he could stand, but incredibly, he not only stood, he also walked with the use of a walker around the hospital ward. Over the past few days, he has continued to walk more and easier each time and the doctors are overwhelmed at his success at it.
 
Our aim now is to get him home by next Thursday, with the medication in a patch and all the necessary equipment to help him at home. The prognosis is not good, these other tumours will eventually wear his body down, it could be 3 months, it could be 12 months. Whatever the time left, I intend to keep him home and look after him. Paul will also be on hand hand to help me, as well as other services available when and if we need it.
 
The good thing is, Bob is pain free, finally, with none of the side effects of the pain medication that he has been also dealing with. No pain, no constipation, no nausea, and he is completely lucid with no confusion and as I write this, sitting up here in bed watchng the cricket. He actually looks better now than he has done for the past 12 months, has been eating like a horse this past couple of weeks  and regaining some of the weight he has lost. So he is in peak condition to fight this insidious disease with a positive attitude, a sense of humour and his normal strength that he has always had.
 
Oh, yes, we have also shed many tears together, because we think it bloody well sucks that we will  not grow old together. But we are trying not to dwell on that,thinking ourselves as so lucky to have had 40 happy and loving years together. We want to  make the most of what we have left and make sure we remain in good positive mood. We have great  support and Bob will be surrounded by his family constantly, which, as you know, is when he is happiest. 
 
I know as our friends you will be concerned, but I would ask you to keep positive thoughts for Bob, if you pray, say a prayer and if you like, let him know you are thinking of him via my email.
 
Love to you all
Sue xxxx
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Offline Ellemeno

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Re: My Husband has Cancer
« Reply #1 on: September 27, 2009, 04:03:18 am »
Sue, I wish you both love love love.  Thank you for letting us know.

Offline Brokeback_Dev

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Re: My Husband has Cancer
« Reply #2 on: September 27, 2009, 05:46:00 am »
My heart goes out to you both.  I pray, and will keep you and Bob in my prayers daily.  Emails on the way.

Offline Shasta542

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Re: My Husband has Cancer
« Reply #3 on: September 27, 2009, 08:32:45 am »

Katie77--I've put you both on my prayer list. I think it's great that you both have such a positive attitude to make the most of the time you have. We should all have that attitude, as we never know when our time on earth will be over. It is a blessing -- your 40 years together have been happy and loving. So wonderful.
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Offline southendmd

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Re: My Husband has Cancer
« Reply #4 on: September 27, 2009, 10:20:35 am »
Aw, Sue, I'm glad Bob is now pain-free and at home with you.  Love to you and your family. 

Offline serious crayons

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Re: My Husband has Cancer
« Reply #5 on: September 27, 2009, 11:02:04 am »
Sue, I think you have a great outlook -- life is what you pay attention to, so pay attention to the good stuff as long as you can.  My thoughts are with you both -- take care.


Offline CellarDweller

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Re: My Husband has Cancer
« Reply #6 on: September 27, 2009, 11:38:33 am »
Hugs and love to you Sue, now and always.


Tell him when l come up to him and ask to play the record, l'm gonna say: ''Voulez-vous jouer ce disque?''
'Voulez-vous, will you kiss my dick?'
Will you play my record? One-track mind!

Offline mariez

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Re: My Husband has Cancer
« Reply #7 on: September 27, 2009, 12:45:21 pm »
Oh my, I'm so very sorry to hear this.  Your attitude is wonderful and I truly believe that does help.  I certainly will remember him and you and your entire family in my prayers. 
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

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Re: My Husband has Cancer
« Reply #8 on: September 27, 2009, 01:00:36 pm »
Your husband is a lucky man to have you by his side at this so difficult time. You are incredibly strong and brave Sue and we are all thinking about you and Bob.

Brad

Offline delalluvia

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Re: My Husband has Cancer
« Reply #9 on: September 27, 2009, 01:21:46 pm »
I'm so glad he is not in pain.  My best wishes and positive thoughts to the both of you.

Offline optom3

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Re: My Husband has Cancer
« Reply #10 on: September 27, 2009, 01:30:09 pm »
Sue , I am so pleased you have let everyone know. Please let Bob see my mails so he knows how many people are all rooting for him. I am so delighted he is pain free and eating as it puts him i a much better place to fight this as you say insidious diesease. It was why I was so adamant that he had to be made pain free.
I have seen so many people survive way past their original prognosis, so I for one would say just continue to be strong and enjoy each other.
I too think he is lucky to have such a strong woman in his corner. Crying is also good it acts as a pressure relief valve, which is cleansing and also means negative feelings are not self contained where they can erode away positive thoughts. Seems to me you and your family are doing everything right. I told you before I think, get him sat in front of Billy Connolly on you tube, the incontinence pads sketch and suicide bombers are just 2 that spring to mind. I laugh till I cry when I watch them and it releases so many endorphins that can only be a good thing.
Be there for him in the middle of the night if he wakes scared and quite simply, just keep on being you. :)

Offline louisev

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Re: My Husband has Cancer
« Reply #11 on: September 27, 2009, 01:57:47 pm »
Bless you for your endurance, Katie, and please let your husband know that many, many of us have been there with our own illnesses and ailments. I was in constant intractable pain for 5 years, and very nearly went insane from it, so you are very fortunate to have such a good national health there!  I am glad they got his pain controlled so that his quality of life will be as good as possible.  I will definitely send my prayers to you and to him both, and I second Fiona's comments on disregarding the prognosis.

Anthony Burgess, author of "A Clockwork Orange" and the screenwriter for "Jesus of Nazareth" among hundreds of books and several musical compositions,  was diagnosed with incurable and inoperable cancer in 1959.  He decided in the year his doctor gave him to live that he had some stories to write before he passed on.  At the time, he was a civil servant in Malaysia.  He wrote four novels that year - and did not die.  He finally gave up the ghost in 1996 at last, after writing more than 50 novels and screenplays, and became one of the main inspirations for my own career as a novelist.  It is good to be practical and to accept things as they are, but with the understanding that doctors cannot predict these things.
“Mr. Coyote always gets me good, boy,”  Ellery said, winking.  “Almost forgot what life was like before I got me my own personal coyote.”


Offline Kelda

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Re: My Husband has Cancer
« Reply #12 on: September 27, 2009, 03:16:52 pm »
Sue.

I'm just so so sorry. I wish I had something profound to say, but I dont at the moment. All my love to you and Bob, and stay strong.

xxx
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Offline Kerry

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Re: My Husband has Cancer
« Reply #13 on: September 27, 2009, 09:25:14 pm »

I was so saddened to read your post about Bob's cancer, Sue. I will remember you in my meditation each day from now on. He is surrounded by those who love him and that's so important at such a time as this. A positive outlook and sense of humour is also so important. I know he'll get lots of hugs and kisses from you and that, in my humble opinion, can often do so much more than any analgesia can. Having said that, however, I'm so glad to hear that the patch is working and there are no adverse outcomes from it. I travelled this path with my Mum and Dad, so my heart goes out to you, Bob and your family at this time.
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Offline LauraGigs

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Re: My Husband has Cancer
« Reply #14 on: September 27, 2009, 11:33:00 pm »
Hi Sue,

I don't have much wisdom to add...  I'm tearful at the news, and also awestruck at your wisdom and strength.  It seems that you both have great perspective and are taking nothing for granted.  In terms of love and emotional support, Bob sure seems to have a fortune of that in great store.  I'm sending good thoughts and love to you all.
« Last Edit: September 28, 2009, 04:01:33 am by LauraGigs »

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Re: My Husband has Cancer
« Reply #15 on: September 28, 2009, 12:18:46 am »
I was thrilled to hear of Bob's achievement in standing and walking, and how he has rallied after conquering the pain. These next months or years will be challenging but there will be good moments and days that you both will cherish. Our thoughts will be with you, and thank you for keeping us in your circle of confidants and friends!
"chewing gum and duct tape"

Offline Katie77

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Re: My Husband has Cancer
« Reply #16 on: September 28, 2009, 01:32:08 am »
It is hard to find words to describe how much, every word posted here, means to me.

Thank you, everyone for the good wishes, the hugs and all of the positive vibes. You know, thats what I expected from my Brokie friends.....is that the common denominator for all of us that fell in love with Brokeback Mountain?....our will and strength to fight against the odds......and also the ability to care about someone on the other side of the world, confirms, why I became a Brokie and why I will always remain a Brokie.

Again, thank you all so much.xxxxxxx
Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect.

It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfection

Offline sel

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Re: My Husband has Cancer
« Reply #17 on: September 28, 2009, 04:33:51 am »
Oh, yes, we have also shed many tears together, because we think it bloody well sucks that we will  not grow old together. But we are trying not to dwell on that,thinking ourselves as so lucky to have had 40 happy and loving years together. We want to  make the most of what we have left and make sure we remain in good positive mood. We have great  support and Bob will be surrounded by his family constantly, which, as you know, is when he is happiest. 
 

Sue,
I am not good with words. I second what the other Brokies have said.
I admire you and Bob for your courage and stamina. You are both so lucky to have known what love is, you have been right on the highest peak of Brokeback Mountain, some, like me, have never been, not even close.
Sending lots of positive affirmations.
BbM, I swear

Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: My Husband has Cancer
« Reply #18 on: September 28, 2009, 08:45:21 am »
I'm so sorry to hear this news. My heart goes out to you both.  :'(
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline Shakesthecoffecan

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Re: My Husband has Cancer
« Reply #19 on: September 28, 2009, 10:28:43 am »
Oh Sue, I am so sorry. I can feel the pain in your words.

I hope you will have many good days together, he sounds like a wonderful man.
"It was only you in my life, and it will always be only you, Jack, I swear."

Offline Penthesilea

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Re: My Husband has Cancer
« Reply #20 on: September 28, 2009, 11:03:39 am »
Sue, I can't even begin to imagine how hard this must be for both of you. I have sometimes followed your blog. Not always, but often enogh to know what kind of man Bob is and how much you love each other. You two hare lucky to have each other.
I'm glad to hear that the medics are now successful to keep the pain at bay.

I'm so sorry that this happens to you. I'm holding Bob and you in my thoughts. (((Bob+Sue)))

Offline belbbmfan

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Re: My Husband has Cancer
« Reply #21 on: September 28, 2009, 04:00:00 pm »
Sue, I'm so sorry to hear about your husband's illness. It's obvious you and your husband are very devoted to each other. As others have said, your courage and positive attitude despite these difficult circumstances is inspirational.

I'm glad your husband is no longer in pain and can be at home with his family. I wish you both many more good moments together.
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Offline Katie77

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Re: My Husband has Cancer
« Reply #22 on: October 01, 2009, 07:34:28 am »
Thank you once again everyone for your good wishes and encouragement. Even though I do not thank you separately, please know, that every message has been read individually and each one has given me comfort and support.

We are finally HOME, today Thursday we got out of the hospital at 12 oclock then travelled by car the three hour trip home. They would have flown Bob, but he preferred to come in the car, and he handled it without any pain or discomfort. We set up pillows on the back seat and he slept most of the way.

It is so good to hear him say he has NO pain. Of course that is because of the medication which comes from a patch on his skin. We left the hospital with 5 bags full of medication. Both Paul and I have been taught how to give injections, if Bob needs any extra pain relief, or he also has a lozenger type thing that he can suck that emits pain medication as well.

We arrived home and all ready found that we have had a delivery of equipment, that Bob may need. A walker, a wheel chair and seats for the toilet and shower. He doesn't need any of them yet, except the walker to give him some support when he walks.

So dam good to be home. We left here on 1st September, thinking we would only be away for 2 days, so I can tell you our soft comfortable bed is looking better every minute and Im sure we will sleep well tonight.

We are both content, and Bob is looking and feeling good so we will be making the most of this for as long as we have it. He has a strong constitution and has a positive attitude so we are in a good place to fight what we have to fight.

Thank you again for your thoughts....keep those positive vibes coming. xxxxx
Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect.

It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfection

Offline CellarDweller

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Re: My Husband has Cancer
« Reply #23 on: October 01, 2009, 11:34:14 am »
Oh, I'm so glad he's home!


Sending all the vibes I have to you!


Tell him when l come up to him and ask to play the record, l'm gonna say: ''Voulez-vous jouer ce disque?''
'Voulez-vous, will you kiss my dick?'
Will you play my record? One-track mind!

Offline delalluvia

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Re: My Husband has Cancer
« Reply #24 on: October 01, 2009, 11:40:27 am »
Welcome home you two.

Offline Penthesilea

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Re: My Husband has Cancer
« Reply #25 on: October 01, 2009, 12:36:17 pm »
What Chuckie and Del said: good you're home now.

{{{Sue}}}
{{{Bob}}}

Offline Mikaela

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Re: My Husband has Cancer
« Reply #26 on: October 01, 2009, 12:38:40 pm »
I'm very sorry to hear about your husband's illness. My thoughts are with the both of you.

Offline Kelda

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Re: My Husband has Cancer
« Reply #27 on: October 01, 2009, 02:43:23 pm »
Welcome home Sue and Bob, welcome home.  :-* :-*

Now a visit form Doggy Jake would cheer Bob up too, yes? Do you still have the contact details of the lady?

And Jai and Logan and your granddaughter too.. I bet the 3 of them have missed you guys terribly.
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Offline optom3

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Re: My Husband has Cancer
« Reply #28 on: October 03, 2009, 12:02:09 am »
Welcome home to you both,nothing feels like your own bed.
 
If ever anyone ever needs affirmation as to why so many of us fell in love with a film and each in our own time found our way here. The reason is plain to see, we do all have struggles and trials, but where else would you find such love from all over the world. It is  plain to see that every word is written from people's hearts,It actually gives me goose bumps to see such a genuine outporing of love for you and Bob.
I know it will give you strength, just as it has me in some very bleak moments. I also know that I could not imagine a more feisty lady to have in my corner than you. My love to you both and know you are being sent positive vibes from the orange state. :)
BTW what do doctor's know, look at what my shrink did to me,bloody prat is he ever going to get a tongue lashing on Monday  !! I am still pissed that I had 4 hunky paramedics attending to me and I can't recall a second, what a bloody waste, sigh.  :)
Not only that, I have developed a taste for Abba, OMG I am listening to them now on my mp3 player and what is worse I am singing and tapping my feet. Bloody hell, next I will be getting me some shiny pants and a curly perm!

Offline David In Indy

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Re: My Husband has Cancer
« Reply #29 on: October 03, 2009, 12:37:39 am »
Sue, I saw this a couple of days ago and ever since I've been trying to figure out what to say to you. Words fail me. :'(

I am so sorry to hear this. Please know that both you and your husband will be in my constant prayers. :-*

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Offline Lumière

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Re: My Husband has Cancer
« Reply #30 on: October 22, 2009, 05:43:33 pm »
Hey there friend,

I am so sorry to read this.
Sending you love and light and hope.  You are in my thoughts.


 :-*
~M


Offline Katie77

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Re: My Husband has Cancer
« Reply #31 on: October 24, 2009, 02:33:52 am »
Sue, I saw this a couple of days ago and ever since I've been trying to figure out what to say to you. Words fail me. :'(

I am so sorry to hear this. Please know that both you and your husband will be in my constant prayers. :-*



Dear David, just knowing you care, which I do, is all that is needed and thank you for the prayers.

Hey there friend,

I am so sorry to read this.
Sending you love and light and hope.  You are in my thoughts.


 :-*
~M

Milli, so so good to see you and thank you so much for the good thoughts.

Update on Bobs condition........

He has now lost the use of his legs, which he is finding very frustrating, but with Paul's help, we can lift him from the bed to the chair and visa versa, so he can still sit in the loungeroom around us, watch TV, and we play poker together on the lap top, so we find plenty of things to do.

Yesterday we called a Maxi CAb that caters for wheel chairs, and we went in to town and had some retail therapy, and it did us all good.

I dont know what I would do without my son Paul, he has been a tower of strength and is over here with us most of the day. He is here to help lift his father out of bed in the morning and back in bed at night.

Our ocupational therapist ordered a surgical hoist for us, which should be delivered in a couple of days. That will take a lot of the strain off Paul, as the last thing we need is for him to get injured.

We are in good spirits, and try to have some fun days, and take things as they come. Medication is keeping most of the pain at bay.

Thank you once again for all your good wishes.
Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect.

It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfection