Author Topic: 6 months on.......Where are you now?  (Read 15448 times)

Offline Katie77

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6 months on.......Where are you now?
« on: August 30, 2006, 08:52:24 am »
I have been scanning thru the forums and threads on here looking for a thread where we can post stories about what is happening to us now....6 months, or 8 months after first seeing Brokeback Mountain.

It has been well documented, the initial impact on viewing the movie....some of us made life changing decisions, some of us found feelings and compassion that we had thought was lost, some of us found friendship, love and some wonderful new friends......For all of us, our life changed, the day we first saw Brokeback Mountain.

i want to tell a story of something that has happened to me, and I know it will be interesting to hear other stories, of what has happened to others or changes that have happened to others because of this movie.Who found love?...who lost love?.....who moved in a different direction?.....what things good have happened and what things bad have happened?......

Let me just tell you what prompted me to write this thread......

.....I recently hung a Brokeback Mountain poster on the wall in my office at home, while I was in the mood of decorating the office even more, I printed off some of the fan art that Lucise does so brilliantly, and posts on the Jake Jake Jake thread....I taped these prints to the front of the drawers of my filing cabinet.....it looks great, and I was really happy about how my office was looking, and I took some photos and sent them to a couple of my friends.....

One of my friends wrote back and said, "what do your grandchildren think of seeing pictures of two men kissing?"......

When i read that question, I actually had to turn around and have a look at the pictures on my filing cabinet, to see what she was talking about.

And of course, I did see two men kissing, but I realized then, that I had looked at those pictures dozens of times before that, and all I had see before was two peoplekissing, I had seen two people that loved one another.......and I saw nothing wrong or out of place displaying such picures, for anyone to see, my grandchildren, my sons, my mother, my friends, anyone......

I think what it made me realize was that even though i have never been homophobic, always had a great understanding of gay people, never had a problem with it at all.....I am now even more accepting of it, to the point where I dont even notice it anymore....it has become such a part of my life, thru the movie, and discussions on here, that i dont even think of it as an "alternative", or even different anymore.

Before i became obsessed with the movie, I dont think I would have ever put pictures of "two men kissing", out on display, before i saw the movie, i thought the gay community was "different"....(but not wrong.....as you can see by my signature quote).....here I am 6 months down the track, and my understanding has become more understanding......and you know what.....I am very pleased that I feel this way.

Just wish a lot more people could feel the same...I'm sure if the too, watched this beautiful movie and saw it as the love story that it is, a lot of them, would be reacting in a similar way to all of us.

Please post your story of what is happening 6 months after seeing the movie.

Attached are the pics of my office......

Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect.

It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfection

Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: 6 months on.......Where are you now?
« Reply #1 on: August 30, 2006, 09:00:49 am »
That's wonderful, Katie! Thanks for sharing it with us.  :)

Me, I'm just as much in love with Ennis and Jack as ever.

I think it's time Leslie did a follow-up study on Brokeback Fever.  ;)
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline ednbarby

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Re: 6 months on.......Where are you now?
« Reply #2 on: August 30, 2006, 11:00:02 am »
I'm feeling a bit melancholy reading this thread because I realize my Brokeback Fever has subsided.  I can't say for certain when exactly that happened, but like mourning any loss (and I think my version of the Fever was a mourning period I went through - mourning the loss of Jack (because he really was real, wasn't he?) and feeling Ennis' heartbreak and regret as if he was a real friend of mine (because he really is, isn't he?)), one day you wake up and it occurs to you that though you still miss that person who is gone, it doesn't exactly hurt anymore.  I'm feeling melancholy I guess because I got used to feeling that hurt - it became a part of me - and now that hurt is gone and I sort of miss it.

I'm actually at a point where I don't know that I can ever watch the movie again.  It's like I'm saturated with it.  Not tired of it - just - I don't know - full.  But it does still feel good to know it sits on my DVD shelf and lives in my home.

Like you, Katie, this movie has changed the way I think about love relationships.  I thought I was open-minded before, but I realize my thinking was still very hetero-centric.  Now, for example, when my four-year-old says he'd like to be married to someone like Mommy and Daddy are married, I say something like, "Well, someday you'll meet someone who'll take your breath away, and they'll feel the same way about you, and if you both want, you'll live together like Mommy and Daddy do.  You can marry them or not {God, I hope that will be true if that somebody happens to be a man}, and you can have a family or not - it's all up to you."  I think before seeing the movie, I'd probably have said something, I'm ashamed now to say, more like "Well, someday you'll meet a girl who'll take your breath away..."

And, of course, seeing (and loving) the movie has made me more compassionate about what gay men specifically in our society go through.  I thought I knew, but I really didn't.

No more beans!

Offline nakymaton

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Re: 6 months on.......Where are you now?
« Reply #3 on: August 30, 2006, 12:41:52 pm »
Eight months in a couple days. Ten months if you count the time I was obsessing over clips and screencaps and early reviews.

And what do I have to show for it?

Ummm. I knew how to adjust the brightness on my computer screen this morning, when a video projector didn't work very well. :/

(Ok, well, anything more serious than that isn't really fit for public confession, I think. At least for me.)
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Offline 2robots4u

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Re: 6 months on.......Where are you now?
« Reply #4 on: August 30, 2006, 12:45:55 pm »
Like Barbara, I also have put my DVD away, and find myself visiting bettermost less and less.  For me, it brought back too many very painful memories that I have not been able to shake.  At first, I used to think about BBM most of the time, and it was enjoyable.  But recently I found myself dwelling on the past, the events of Roswell and D. and the terrible deaths that ended a glorious love.  It took a long time back then to come to terms with his death, and now I am struggling with it all over again.  

I'm leaving on a month-long trip to Seattle and will have no computer contact with BBM or the ability to watch the movie. Hopefully, when I return, I will be able to once again rejoin the discussions.  Until then, so-long...Doug


 

Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: 6 months on.......Where are you now?
« Reply #5 on: August 30, 2006, 01:24:31 pm »
Bettermost has had such a major impact on me that I would call it life-changing! Where to start...for one thing it has changed my work life. I was asked to go to a seminar on networked communities in February because my employer wanted to prepare for the potential need for a virtual workforce, in case of bird flu or some such thing. In the seminar, I was asked to check out a network to get involved in on whatever topic interested me at the moment. It has blossomed in to a whole new way of working. Now, when I set up a new project team, I always make sure we have a discussion board, threads, polls, chat, and graphics. Everything goes much more smoothly, especially when members are on different continents! More later...
« Last Edit: August 30, 2006, 03:11:39 pm by Front-Ranger »
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moremojo

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Re: 6 months on.......Where are you now?
« Reply #6 on: August 30, 2006, 01:47:40 pm »
I'm leaving on a month-long trip to Seattle and will have no computer contact with BBM or the ability to watch the movie. Hopefully, when I return, I will be able to once again rejoin the discussions.  Until then, so-long...Doug
I hope you have a good and safe journey to Seattle, Doug. I hope also that you decide to rejoin the communications here upon your return, but if you feel you have decidedly moved on by then, I wish you happiness in your continuing journey through life. Everyone who has visited our community has contributed something unique and memorable, and I appreciate that.

Happy trails,
Scott
« Last Edit: February 15, 2008, 08:50:27 pm by moremojo »

Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: 6 months on.......Where are you now?
« Reply #7 on: August 30, 2006, 04:00:51 pm »
I have become more of an activist. I am actually speaking out for human rights and equality, whereas before I was a "live and let live" kind of person.

I think I am more considerate of other people, more compassionate, and more likely to get involved when I think I might be able to help.

My vocabulary has stopped atrophying and I use more colorful words than the "differentiators," "engaged employees," and "strategic" that I formerly used constantly. In fact, I have a notebook full of scribbled words and sentences that would make no sense to a non-brokie.

I am always poking around in flea markets looking for the perfect coffeepot and bucket.

I have friends and a life for the first time in upteen years. I think of myself as a human being, whereas before I was just the family provider and household help.

I have an alternative when the world, with its wars, politics, and screaming unfairness, gets to me.

I listen to music and I turn off the news.

I don't watch many TV shows or movies, but the ones I watch I really watch carefully.

Same for books.

For the first time in years, I feel happy and hopeful. It was a sad story, but it is beautiful and perfect, and there is a chance that today's Ennis and Jack can have a different story, maybe not as dramatic but still filled with love and passion.

I feel that Love as a force of nature can work for the good.
"chewing gum and duct tape"

moremojo

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Re: 6 months on.......Where are you now?
« Reply #8 on: August 30, 2006, 04:50:52 pm »
Lee, I loved reading of all the lovely differences this film/story has made in your life. I hope to contribute more fully to this thread myself as time allows.

Bless you all, Katie, Lee, Jeff, and everyone, for sharing and making a positive difference in my life.

Offline SFEnnisSF

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Re: 6 months on.......Where are you now?
« Reply #9 on: August 30, 2006, 08:57:25 pm »
I really got to hand it to Katie.  Your office looks great!   :D

But also, she nailed a very important point.  That is viewing movies like Brokeback Mountain is breaking down all the negative stereotypes.  People are becoming more and more comfortable with gay people now.  Gay men and women are shown on the big screen, TV, and in the media with respect.  And this continues to tend to change society's view on gays.  This is a big step.... (and one of the reasons I found this movie to be so important!)   :)