6 months on.......Where are you now?

[serious crayons]

But it's a problem if they make a sexual advance towards me....and yes it does happen to people.

Women frequently are confronted with sexual advances by straight men we're not interested in. It doesn't turn us against all straight men. Sometimes not even against the specific one making the advancements.

If you're not interested, why not just say so politely and move on? That's what we do. (Usually.)

[ednbarby]

Women frequently are confronted with sexual advances by straight men we're not interested in. It doesn't turn us against all straight men. Sometimes not even against the specific one making the advancements.

If you're not interested, why not just say so politely and move on? That's what we do. (Usually.)

Katherine, have I told you lately that I love you? 

I don't mean to be attacking you, Horo - I think the fact that you've seen the movie, and not just once, and that you own it on DVD speaks volumes for your open-mindedness.  But I just want to add that I think in the case of your friend whose neighbor made a pass at him when they were drunk, I think the neighbor thought he was gay.  Doesn't matter if he never came right out and told him - he had a hunch and it backfired.  When your friend said no, I'm guessing the poor guy didn't pursue it further and ultimately rape him and is probably utterly humiliated now.

Think of Jack for a moment - what really did he have to go on that Ennis might be interested in him sexually other than a gut feeling?  Ennis had never given *any* indication that he was interested in him in that way before Jack took his shot.  Ennis could have beaten the crap out of him or worse or at least left him feeling utterly humiliated.  Jack took a chance, it worked out.  Often gay men in the real world take that same chance and it doesn't.  A few here have admitted to it, and two I know personally have.  And as Katherine so succinctly pointed out, what's the difference between that and me making a pass at a man I'm attracted to who, for whatever reasons, doesn't share my feelings?  Or a man making one at me (and it's happened with guys who know I'm married and who don't) with whom I don't share the same feelings?  Answer:  there isn't one.  Or at least there really shouldn't be.

(edited to get Horo's name right )

[horo35]

Women frequently are confronted with sexual advances by straight men we're not interested in. It doesn't turn us against all straight men. Sometimes not even against the specific one making the advancements.

If you're not interested, why not just say so politely and move on? That's what we do. (Usually.)

You will have to read my post again....I never said that if a gay man makes a sexual advance towards me that in turn will make me hate the whole gay community.  And I also speak for straight people too....yes I'm sure women get that kind of crap from men all the time!   But I would say the same thing if I were a woman..if a man tried a move on me and I didn't want it..he would get a "negative" reaction like a punch to the face!   Bottom line is people should be respected and I'm pretty sure we can all figure out (or have that gut feeling) whos gay and whos not...sorry but I dont believe that my friends' neighbour suspected he was gay.  I just dont buy that.  As for comparing the movie to his situation....well guess what it's a movie. It's not a true story...its a work of fiction thought up from an author of a story about 2 guys and an imaginary mountain.  Sorry guys..don't mean to be straight forward...but that's how I think.  And thats why I probably don't post much on here is due to the fact that I am straight and my opinions will not be understood by the gay community  (just like they dont understand us).  But I for one am a friend and will stand by their side....just not among them.

[Katie77]

Horo.....I can see from these posts, that it is YOU who are not being understood, and your opinions are being misinterpreted.......and that is a real shame, because I think this board needs opinions and feedback from a straight guy.

Please continue to post your opinions, and please, all you gay guys and gals, give a bit of respect to them, and as I said before, dont take them as critisism.....

This guy has taken the time to read your words, feel your feelings and because of that accepts your way of life....give him the same benefit, you dont have to agree with him, but at least you will get an idea of how HE is thinking, and possibly how a lot of straight men feel.....this bloke is on your side...

My signature says it all....whichever way you are looking at .....just because it is different, doesnt mean it is wrong

[Katie77]

On to another thought...I've been thinking about the line, "What do your grandchildren think about the picture of two men kissing?" First of all, they aren't kissing in the picture. Their heads are close together and they are lying down together but you can't tell that in the picture. And, what's the big deal about two men kissing anyway? This is commonplace in Europe. Better than pictures of two men beating each other up or killing each other, which you can see 24/7 on any channel of TV.

Yes Front Ranger.....getting back to the original theme of the thread.....theres enough of all that other shit that is going to be pushed in front of our kids and grandkids....

Lets hope that if they see enough of the good side, like those pics I have displayed, they will grow up with a far more understanding of what peace and love is all about.....

[j.U.d.E.]

Hobo? Who the hell is Hobo?! 

Well, 6 months on, a lot of things have changed, yes, but I think we are well away from it all being perfect.. Yes, people in general are or seem to be more open-minded. Most of my friends don't seem to be homophobic or otherwise anti-difference.. But then again.. I work as a volunteer with my local Red Cross and I'm flabbergasted (spelling?!) at how many racist, sexist and homophobic comments I hear. First it seemed to be only this one guy - but the way he talks makes it all 'funny' and 'acceptable'. Other than that he is a funny, interesting and sweet guy (he seems to despise anybody who’s too adult.., but he is in full admiration of his 2 year old son - I've seen him, he's the best of fathers), but when we are out on intervention, the number of out-of-place remarks I hear, is quite scary, frankly. Worse even, is that I notice others of my Red-Cross mates having similar 'attitudes'. Less crude, but nevertheless. I mean, damn it! Of all people you'd think people volunteering at the Red Cross would be not.. I mean less.. more.. ehm.. would be more mature, open-minded.. It's quite depressing, really.

Another thing is, yes, 'Brokeback Mountain' was a huge success. A worldwide success. It was raved about in all four corners of the Globe, it opened minds here and there and made 'less-aware' people more knowledgeable about 'these things', but believe you me, even totally civilized people in civilized Europe (that's where I'm from), still don't have a clue. There are still plenty of people who haven't heard of BBM. You see, it's always those people - the ignorant group', who keep on being clueless, that fail to get 'converted'.. What I mean is that most of the time, it's already people who tend to be tolerant, accepting and open-minded who know or at least hear about films like BBM. It's the ones that need to be 'made wiser' that tend to remain ignorant. Unless they have a gay son or daughter, that hits them over the head with the news "I'm gay” they will for the rest of their lives remain clueless.

One more thing - Coffeecat's (Leslie) asks "What about public affection?" Yes exactly! What about it? You see it more and more, two guys/girls publicly showing their affection, but it's still very very small and careful. That's what I find the saddest somehow. I mean there's a lot of noise and anger and reaction/action about gay rights to marry, adopt children and so on and the population out there hears it and accepts it more and more. But nobody marches the streets to gain the right for public affection and that's why a lot of gay couple seem to be totally frightened by showing affection outside their homes. It's the simplest of gestures and yet, it seems 'easier' getting people to accept same legal and marital rights, than two men or women showing pubic affection.

Sorry for rambling..

j. U. d. E.

[Front-Ranger]

Oh, another thing I forgot to add about 6 months (acutally it's close to 9 months since I first saw the film) ... I return from the mountains (or just emerge from my bedroom) looking all perky, a lot more often.

[Katie77]

Was listening to "King of the Road", just a while ago......and when it got to the part ..."King of he road....I had to hit my imaginary steering wheel.......

[bbm_stitchbuffyfan]

Oh, god, Brokeback has changed me and my life in so many ways. Right now, I haven't watched the movie in a while and I feel like I am moving on, even though the movie is still repeatedly in my thoughts (every five-ten minutes at least, even if it's only casual thinking). I say goodnight to Ennis and Jack every night before I go to sleep.

I don't know if I have it in me to watch the movie, as it truly is heartbreaking but I really, really miss the film and want to watch it again. I am planning my next viewing!

I have found love. My personality has changed a lot. I spent a lot of time crying for Jack and Ennis and, it sounds unhealthy, but I really love those guys and I don't want to ever forget their pain and despair. If that means bawling hysterically while watching the movie, then so be it.

[serious crayons]

I keep thinking I want to post something here but then I don't because I'm afraid I'll have to sum up all of my thoughts, and yet I'd like my post not to take up an entire website page. Plus, my outlook tends to change from one day to the next. So I think I'll just jot down a few thoughts and then maybe add more later, as they occur.

-- It's been more than seven months of obsession for me. I don't feel the intensity of emotion that I did for the first, oh, four or five months  . On the one hand, that feels sad, because it means letting go a little. On the other hand, if I kept that same level of emotional involvment forever, I would never get anything else done, would be unable to support myself or even attend to ordinary household chores and childcare duties, and eventually would have to be institutionalized.

-- Still, I can safely predict I won't just move on to other movies and forget about Brokeback. I mean, when has a movie ever taken over my entire mind the way BBM has for seven days, let alone seven months? Even now, sometimes just thinking about it I am still capable of goosebumps or tears (or other strong reactions, insert phantom blushing smiley here). So I'm pretty sure it will stay with me, at some level at least, forever.

-- I'm still fully capable of debating about characters' motivations, puzzling over symbols and bookends, discussing my reactions to it, etc. Just not quite as endlessly as I once did. Which is for the best, because I really do need to get some work done.

-- At first I resisted making friends with other Brokies. Back at imdb, I didn't want to call people by their real names, rarely PMed anyone, stayed pretty aloof. I knew if I started making friends it would be one more obstacle to overcoming my intense obsession, which sort of scared me already. Then I came here and, well, it's kind of impossible not to make friends here, especially if you spend as much time here as I have. Because not only are there many interesting and intelligent people, but now you know all my secrets! Or some of the biggies, anyway. So ... damn. My prediction was right.

-- If it's true that we're drawn to BBM because it reminds us of some unresolved issue in our own lives, well, those issues in my own life remain frustratingly unsolved. They're kind of pressing issues, and I'm afraid BBM has served as less a tool for solving them than an escape from dealing with them.

-- I haven't seen the movie for a couple of months. When school was out and the kids were home constantly, I didn't have a chance. Now school is back on and I'm thinking in a week or two I'll try again. On the one hand, I'm kind of afraid it will be overly familiar. I've only seen it 15 times -- newbie status, I know, compared to some people. But we've talked about it so much that I feel like I can picture every scene in such close detail, so it feels like a lot more than that.

But when I do watch it again, who can predict? I might come away with a whole different outlook.