This sounds basically like a success story to me. As long as you don't have more to lose than those 20 pounds, you're not in really unhealthy territory. May you always be within that range!
Thank you, and I know. I'm not unhealthily heavy (although my BMI index is just over the line into the overweight zone), so that's why part of me wishes I could just be satisfied as I am and forget about it. When I go to WW, nobody asks, "What are YOU doing here?!" but I also can look around the room and realize that I'm relatively lucky, genetically.
But I've got a closet full of clothes that I can't wear. My weight tends to gather on my stomach and under my chin, and I don't like the way that looks. And, let's face it, I'm influenced by a culture that celebrates slenderness, not slight pudginess, and I can't help aspiring to fit the mold. In our culture, thinness=success (even Oprah has said she considers herself a failure when she gains weight). Even though intellectually I reject the concept of thinness as essential thing to strive for, at some gut level, so to speak, I accept it.
I should stress that I don't aim to be supermodel thin. My ideal weight, for example, is about 35 pounds heavier than Kate Moss.
I also know from many many things I've read that over the long run, diets almost never work, for me or for anyone. That's why I've been in WW eight times, why when I talk to other WW members they have similar stories. Yet we probably all know exceptions to this rule -- people who've lost weight and kept it off for years and years. Hence the trap. It's hard to ever completely let go of the hope.