Author Topic: Ok everyone....share a story here. LOL  (Read 12618 times)

Offline Brown Eyes

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Re: Ok everyone....share a story here. LOL
« Reply #10 on: March 03, 2010, 11:15:43 am »

Here's another: A writer in his late 20s asked me whether Mark Twain had written "Huckleberry Finn," or Huckleberry Finn had written "Mark Twain."


 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
That's awesome!

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Offline delalluvia

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Re: Ok everyone....share a story here. LOL
« Reply #11 on: March 03, 2010, 08:22:43 pm »
Here's another: A writer in his late 20s asked me whether Mark Twain had written "Huckleberry Finn," or Huckleberry Finn had written "Mark Twain."

Well, both names are fake.  ;D

I've had plenty of stupid things said to me - some worse than others - but the one that pops immediately to mind was just ignorant.  I think I've told you guys this already:

Me [in car, pulling up to drive-through fast food window].
Clerk [turning to me - obviously there is some sort of discussion going on inside the restaurant]: Do you know where Las Vegas is?
Me [knowing there is more than one Las Vegas and wondering if what he's really asking is how to get there, reply automatically]:  Las Vegas, Nevada?
Clerk[jumping on my response]:  Las Vegas, Nevada?  Is that in California?
Me:  ???

Perfect example of American school age kids' ignorance of geography and of someone not taking full advantage of their school's curriculum when they had the opportunity.

Offline Lynne

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Re: Ok everyone....share a story here. LOL
« Reply #12 on: March 03, 2010, 08:36:51 pm »
Now, del, that reminds me of the time I sent a birthday card to my mother-in-law in Santa Fe, NM. I spent a good fifteen minutes arguing with the clerk that it did not need international postage. He was an older man, very sad really.
"Laß sein. Laß sein."

Offline ifyoucantfixit

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Re: Ok everyone....share a story here. LOL
« Reply #13 on: March 03, 2010, 09:45:00 pm »
   About six years ago my husband and I were taking our two granddaughters
on a trip in the motor home. 
   We drove by these two young guys walking along the sidewalk.  Kelsey asked
Tiffany did she know the tallest guy of those two.?   Tiffany said yeah, the one
on the right.    doh..she will never live that one down.



     Beautiful mind

Offline delalluvia

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Re: Ok everyone....share a story here. LOL
« Reply #14 on: March 03, 2010, 10:46:36 pm »
Now, del, that reminds me of the time I sent a birthday card to my mother-in-law in Santa Fe, NM. I spent a good fifteen minutes arguing with the clerk that it did not need international postage. He was an older man, very sad really.

Maybe he was just hard of hearing and thought you said

"New [comma] Mexico."

Like that information directory operator:

Caller:  I'm trying to get the area code for Plano, Texas
Operator:  Where in Texas?
Caller:  Plano, Texas
Operator:  Sir, I need a location.  I can't give you something for plain ole Texas.

 :laugh:

Offline louisev

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Re: Ok everyone....share a story here. LOL
« Reply #15 on: March 04, 2010, 01:12:02 am »
Well, I have to put one of my own here, because it was just so funny.  Even now I laugh and can't believe how stupid I was.

 :laugh:


On a related note, you wouldn't believe how many people I have fooled with the statement:

"Did you know they took the word 'gullible' out of the English dictionary?" I've caught several graduate-educated professionals with that one!
“Mr. Coyote always gets me good, boy,”  Ellery said, winking.  “Almost forgot what life was like before I got me my own personal coyote.”


Offline Kerry

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Re: Ok everyone....share a story here. LOL
« Reply #16 on: March 04, 2010, 02:17:34 am »
As told to me by a friend recently . . .

Friend was having his annual medical check-up, part of which comprised a digital prostate examination.

Doctor told friend to strip from the waist down, lie on his side facing the wall and bring his knees up to his chest as best he could.

Friend did as requested and could hear doctor behind him, snapping on latex gloves and squirting lubricant, before feeling the doctor's hand on his buttock, prior to insertion of finger in rectum.

Friend looked over his shoulder and said with mock indignation, "This is soooo undignified."

To which doctor replied, quick as a flash, "How do you think I  feel?"
γνῶθι σεαυτόν

Offline louisev

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Re: Ok everyone....share a story here. LOL
« Reply #17 on: March 04, 2010, 03:15:00 am »
Yeah because with the doctors, its all about THEM, right?   ::)
“Mr. Coyote always gets me good, boy,”  Ellery said, winking.  “Almost forgot what life was like before I got me my own personal coyote.”


Offline David In Indy

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Re: Ok everyone....share a story here. LOL
« Reply #18 on: March 04, 2010, 03:54:02 am »
As told to me by a friend recently . . .

Friend was having his annual medical check-up, part of which comprised a digital prostate examination.

Doctor told friend to strip from the waist down, lie on his side facing the wall and bring his knees up to his chest as best he could.

Friend did as requested and could hear doctor behind him, snapping on latex gloves and squirting lubricant, before feeling the doctor's hand on his buttock, prior to insertion of finger in rectum.

Friend looked over his shoulder and said with mock indignation, "This is soooo undignified."

To which doctor replied, quick as a flash, "How do you think I  feel?"

A "digital" prostate exam? I've never heard of that before. If it was digital, why did he use his finger Kerry? Are they using some sort of computer now in addition to the "finger" exam? :-\

Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

Offline CellarDweller

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Re: Ok everyone....share a story here. LOL
« Reply #19 on: March 04, 2010, 07:18:15 am »
A "digital" prostate exam? I've never heard of that before. If it was digital, why did he use his finger Kerry? Are they using some sort of computer now in addition to the "finger" exam? :-\

 :laugh:

David, you just gave an entry here without meaning to.

It's called a "digital" exam because his finger (one of the digits on his hand) is inserted to check on the prostate.

From Wiki:

A finger is a type of digit, an organ of manipulation and sensation found in the hands of humans and other primates.  Normally humans have five digits, termed phalanges, on each hand (exceptions are polydactyly, hypodactyly and digit loss). The first digit is the thumb, followed by index finger, middle finger, ring finger, and little finger or pinky. Some other languages use the same generic term for all five digits of a hand.



Tell him when l come up to him and ask to play the record, l'm gonna say: ''Voulez-vous jouer ce disque?''
'Voulez-vous, will you kiss my dick?'
Will you play my record? One-track mind!