Author Topic: Are you "Undateable"?  (Read 31567 times)

Offline CellarDweller

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Re: Are you "Undateable"?
« Reply #50 on: July 28, 2010, 11:30:50 am »
Oh, I found a list online about the 100 things that women do that can mark them "Undateable".


 :laugh:


Ladies, you asked for it, here it is!  This one is not ranked, it's just a list of 100 behaviors.




wears a ponytail on the date

car that resembles a messy closet

compulsively shops instead of paying bills

has a face piercing anywhere but the nostril

has bad credit

tattoos on their tits

tramp stamp

only follows sports because they have a crush on a particular player

gloats about how they screwed over an ex-boyfriend

goes to the gun range for a girls’ night out

gets regular colonics

cries without actual tears

asks a waiter to customize a entrée or sammich with complex instructions or unreasonable substitutions

has the same haircut that I do

flip flops

extensive animal print decor in dwelling

room dedicated to the color pink, hello kitty, or some other geek item

uses “Be a man” to provoke me into doing things that are clearly stupid

uses eyeshadow up to their eyebrows

over tweezes eyebrows or has them tattoo’ed on

over tan

unkempt hair

acrylic claws

wears mens’ clothing ala Ellen Degeneris

stuff their bras

bad boob job

demand that I accompany them to the mall while they go shopping

have a gay man for a best friend that spends all his free time with her

requires a team of stylists to get dressed

makes it obvious that she loves her pet more then she would ever love you

dresses to compete with other women

wants to go clubbing during the week when I have work

takes a brand name anti-depressant

roots for sports teams I hate

says at some point “Wait! Jews don’t believe in Jesus Christ?”

expects a level of fitness from me that she can’t maintain herself

makes me watch shows that I hate

never lets me watch shows that I love

brags about her bowel movements

brags about never having bowel movements

corrects my grammar incessantly

treats height as a personal choice

gigantic jewelry

wears spandex dresses with rips

still lives with parents because Daddy is loaded

doesn’t wear fashions from the current decade

grandma glasses

gets mad at other women for what they are wearing

color contacts

doesn’t get my pop culture references

dreadlocks (hair can’t be washed when its dreaded)

cares more about the girls I’ve dated then getting to know me

communist

unaware that she is a bad driver

doesn’t laugh, even when she sincerely finds something funny

falls asleep in the movie theater

tells me she tells her mom everything

tells me she’s a bitch

spends 2 hours on her hair each day, but lives in a messy apartment

keeps in frequent contact with ex-boyfriends

uses juggalo slang

faux British accent

buys female celebrity branded merch.

constant nitpicking of anything and everything

can’t deal if I go out without her and hang with my friends

can’t tell when she is not having her period

makes me listen to music I hate, especially in my own car

orders appetizers and then doesn’t eat the entrée

constant whale tail (thong that rides above waistline

thinks Dane Cook is funny, but Jim Gaffigan isn’t

says “Hell-oooooooooh?” if I take more then half a second to respond

Chain smokes

wears fingerless gloves

wears a wig, isn’t being treated for alopecia or cancer

hair extensions

expects me to pay for everything past the 3rd date

annoying regional accent

constantly badmouths her closest friends behind their backs

uses the n word in any capacity other then to describe another situation where the word was used.

in complete denial about her horrible singing voice

was on a VH1 show talking about all the stuff men do to be undateable

schedules dates around World of Warcraft raid times

secret criminal past

did porn

pronounces her a name a different way then its spelled, has the gall to    have an attitude about it

stand-up comedian ( I am not going to be in that act)

believes in tarot cards and psychics

won’t tell me if I have something in my teeth or on my face

tells me how to eat my food

chews gum

has a hand-written list of qualities she is looking for in a man

flakes on plans, doesn’t think it’s a big deal

hasn’t taken off nail polish from fingers or toes in months

hates New York City

doesn’t shave legs or armpits, or lip if applicable

asks me detailed questions about my income

wears slogan t-shirts

bald by choice

can’t buy me a decent present when a holiday or occasion calls for it

owns more then two sex toys


Tell him when l come up to him and ask to play the record, l'm gonna say: ''Voulez-vous jouer ce disque?''
'Voulez-vous, will you kiss my dick?'
Will you play my record? One-track mind!

Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: Are you "Undateable"?
« Reply #51 on: July 29, 2010, 11:46:39 am »
Oh, I found a list online about the 100 things that women do that can mark them "Undateable".

 :laugh:
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline serious crayons

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Re: Are you "Undateable"?
« Reply #52 on: July 29, 2010, 12:03:34 pm »
Hmm. Some of those seem a bit overly picky to object to. Others I can hardly believe anyone would really do.

But maybe men would say the same about the first list.



Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: Are you "Undateable"?
« Reply #53 on: July 29, 2010, 06:42:41 pm »
I don't understand what some of the things are.  ??? 

"Flakes on planes"? Does that mean freaks out from fear of flying, or what?  ???
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline serious crayons

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Re: Are you "Undateable"?
« Reply #54 on: July 29, 2010, 06:59:29 pm »
"Flakes on planes"? Does that mean freaks out from fear of flying, or what?  ???

Maybe it's a misprint and was meant to say "Snakes on a plane!"


Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: Are you "Undateable"?
« Reply #55 on: July 29, 2010, 07:10:56 pm »
Maybe it's a misprint and was meant to say "Snakes on a plane!"

 :o
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline delalluvia

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Re: Are you "Undateable"?
« Reply #56 on: July 29, 2010, 08:22:23 pm »
Hmm. Some of those seem a bit overly picky to object to. Others I can hardly believe anyone would really do.

But maybe men would say the same about the first list.

It was obviously written by a neurotic east coaster - who else would have a deal breaker being that a woman hates New York City?

Do you think any guy west of the Hudson cares about that?  ;D