For the first time ever I avoided logging on to Bettermost this morning after a night of tossing and turning.
I didn't want to see this news.
And now, the real tears have come.
Like some of you, I had a few glasses of wine, and some comfort food, sitting vigil on the thread but I just had to get away from it. Hoping the news would turn overnight.
It didn't.
David - you're so right. Rich never had a bad word to say, always sent lovely messages to say hello. Why the good guys?
That is exactly how I felt. I have never logged on so late and last night one glass of wine turned into several . I so wanted for it all to have been some terrible nightmare. All I keep thinking is, his daughter is the same age as Emma and she loved her dad so much. I cannot conceive the pain she must be in. I kept going round the family last night and hugging them.
My kids laugh at me because every time we part, or got to bed , I have to tell then how much I love them. It started when I was first a mum and I told them that their tummy buttons were the physical proof of my ,for ever love, formed the very second they were conceived. It was once visible but although you could no longer see it, the bond would be there for ever. ,so I would always be with them.We called it the invidible string. As they grew older, the invisible string is still there. I also told them as dad had made them he was also part of the string. His very cells were in it.
I believe when so many people gather as we do here, there is a whole ball of invisible strings. It is just another way of saying love and deep connections. We have been lucky enough to find this haven. So many of us have bonded in some way, and I also believe that the invisible string bond with Richard will always be there too.
Sorry for rambling on.
That is what I want someone to tell his daughter. The cord which kept her safe and nourished is part mum and part dad. She only needs to look at her tummy button and see the physical proof. It will be there for ever and so will the love.
When one of my kids asks if I still love them, the response is always the same, do you still have a tummy button.
My love to all of you and my special love and thoughts to those who were so close to him.
I think who ever had the idea of at some stage in the future printing off all the wonderful words here, is a really good one.