Author Topic: BetterMost member LoneLeeB3 has passed away. Our grieving thread.  (Read 93050 times)

Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: BetterMost member LoneLeeB3 passes away.
« Reply #410 on: August 02, 2010, 06:21:25 pm »
Tell you what. Already yesterday I started thinking that I hope her mother lets her continue to have contact with Gene and his boys, and with Rich's side of the family. I don't know anything about how her mother is now, but I remember how ... difficult ... she was about the divorce.  :-\

I think things have calmed down a lot, and it seems like she and Gene have a good relationship.

Thanks for passing that info on, Truman. One less thing to worry about.  :) You hear some pretty ugly stories about situations like this, so I was concerned.
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline southendmd

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Re: BetterMost member LoneLeeB3 passes away.
« Reply #411 on: August 02, 2010, 06:57:45 pm »
I just saw this on facebook, from Diana Ossana:

Diana Ossana: I "friended" Richard only recently, but from his posts, it was clear that he was a man with humor, sensitivity, kindness and intelligence...I send my most heartfelt sympathies to his dear friends and family.

Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: BetterMost member LoneLeeB3 passes away.
« Reply #412 on: August 02, 2010, 08:01:09 pm »
Diana is truly a madonna. I'm not surprised she and Rich found each other.

Speaking of Diana, the leather-bound book we all signed at so many events, including the SF rodeo, has just recently been sent to her.
Too much to do. . .I don't have time to get old!

Offline Mandy21

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Re: BetterMost member LoneLeeB3 passes away.
« Reply #413 on: August 02, 2010, 08:16:34 pm »
If I could allow myself to stop crying, I would then allow myself to stop being angry at God.  Right now, I just want to punch my fists into walls...
Dawn is coming,
Open your eyes...

Offline fritzkep

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Re: BetterMost member LoneLeeB3 passes away.
« Reply #414 on: August 02, 2010, 08:21:04 pm »
One of Rich's early posts.

Ok, this is my first attemt at writing. I posted this on the IMDB this morning but I wanted to put it here and see if any of my bettermostian neighbors liked it.
Please be kind if you choose to opine. I never said I was a pulitzer prize winning author.
Thanks

Home

Junior walked up the steps holdiong her daddys breakfast tray. Making it up the steps seemed to get harder every year. "Guess this it what all them years of waitressin got me" she chuckled to herself. She paused at the door and steeled herself to what she was going to see. The cancer had taken a toll on her Daddy. His normally lanky frame was now a gaunt shadow of what he once was.
Ennis Delmar was no longer the strong cowboy of his youth but a very sick old man. Junior Knocked softly on the door and leaning into it while balancing the tray, opened it. As she turned the tray fell to the floor. Ennis was gasping for breath, his lips were blue and he was unconcious. Alma started screaming for someone anyone to call 911.
Part 2
At the hostpital Junior was awakend by her daddys voice. He had been in and out of conciousness the last couple of days.The doctors said it wouldn't be long now, she hoped he could hold on long enough for her Mamma to get there. She grabbed his hand and sked "what Daddy what is it"?
"Jack, Where are ya Lil Darlin, I can't see ya". Jack? Lil Darlin? Was that a horse he had in his child hood maybe a beloved ole dog? Junior didn't know but she knew she was about to lose her Daddy and she started to cry.
Kurt got to the hostpital as soon as the kids were out of school. Alma and Monroe arrived about an hour later. They took turns sitting with Junior in the room and entertaining the kids in the waiting area most of the night. In the Moning when the doctors made their rounds Ennis' doctor pulled them all together and told them he had a few more hours and that they should all say their goodbyes.
Junior ran out of the room sobbing, Alma followed. In the quiet of the room the two women held each other. Junior wept and Alma comforted. Suddenly Ennis stirred His eyes opened and a smile crossed his face. Junior had never seen her Daddy smile like that in all her 43 years. That smile could have lit up the night she later thought to herself "Jack fuckin Twist, There you are".
Alma froze. After all these years hearing that name on his lips still hurt and her face couldn't hide it. "Mamma, who is Jack Twist" Junior asked.
Alma composed herself, "He was your Daddys best friend, a fishing buddy he had known since he was a kid." Alma couldn't tell her daughter the truth, not now. Now there was enough pain to go around and she wasn't about to add to it.
Best friend? It never occured to Junior that her daddy even had any friends much less a best friend, a fishing buddy? She had known her Daddy to go fishing up at Pine Creek near Brokeback but he always went alone.
"Mamma", Junior said "He mentioned that name the other day, he said Jack where are ya lil Darlin. What do you supose he meant by that"? "I don't know baby, he's just talking out of his head" but she knew exactly what he meant.
Part3
At 5:00pm September 24th Ennis Delmar quietly passed away with his family at his side. When Junior got home she went to her Daddy's room. She knew she would have to get things tidy before Jenny and her kids got there. As she looked in the closet ahe saw somthng she hadn't seen before. In the very back were two old shirts habging on the same old wire hanger one inside the other. The shirts were tattered and stained on the cuffs with what could have been blood at one time. "What on earth" she thought "Daddy" she said outloud "who would have thought you to be a pack rat." As she laid the shrts down whe noticed an envelope sticking out of the pocket on the outer shirt an old pearl buttoned western shirt like the ones she always remembered her daddy wearin.
She opened the envelope and read Ennis' wishes for his funeral.
Part4
The service was samll and quiet just like Ennis wanted it. Junior had him cremated as per his instructions but putting him in those old tattered shirts and that postcard in the pocket was too much. Her Daddy never asked much from anybody so as much as she didn't want to she did just as he asked. After the service Junior asked if anyone wanted to go with her up on Brokeback to scatter his ashes?
Alma said that she and Monroe had to get back. Truth is, Alma couldn't stand to look at that Moutain much less set foot on it. That Moutain and that Man took her first love away from her some 40 yrs ago and the pain and anger still burned like an ember all these years later.
Jenny said she had to getthe kids back home. Junior knew better, she knew Jenny had hooked up with a new cowboy and would be droppin the kids off at her ex's so she could lay up with him. So Junior said her goodbyes to her Mamma and Monroe as well as to her sister and her kids.
After everyone had left, Kurt said he woud go but Junior smiled and said "no, I'll just do this by myself.It'll be a chance for me and daddy to spend some time together".
"It can be dangerous up their" Kurt protested. Junior just smiled as she got into the truck "Daddy won't let anything happen to me on his mountain".
With that she closed the door and pulled out of the parking lot
Part 5 Sacred Ground
Alma drove up the old logging road as far as she could. The old logging road had gotten too steep even for her four wheeled drive. Little did she know that the road she was now on was once just a trail only horses could get up and that her Daddy made the trip up and down it once a week one long ago summer. Where Junior was is way above where the old jumpin off point used to be.Heck, she was almost at what was the first campsite Ennis and Jack shared their first summer together.
"Guess I'll have to walk it from here" Junior thought to herself. Their was a slight chill in the air but the fall sun was warm and Junior was climing ever upward. She was reminded of the song she used to sing in chrch "We are Climbing to Zion" little did she know she really was climbing to sacred ground.
An hour later with the directions her daddy scrawled on the back of an envelope she found her destination.
The area was all grown up with weeds and scrub pines but you could tell it had once been a campsite. There were two rotted logs in front of a ring of stones that once held a campfire.
As junior looked around she said outloud "well Daddy, I know why you liked this place so much". It was beautiful! The stream was singing along right beside her so clear and pure that she knelt down to drink straight from it. The water was so cold and sweet and quenched her thirst fom the long hike.
The birds were singing and fluttering about excitedly. It was almost as if they were glad to see her. It was almost as if they were welcoming her.
Junior walked around the old campsite for a bit. She imagined her Daddy fishing and laying by the campfire. She gently started sobbing.
Suddenly the wind picked up. It was a soft warm breeze that seemed to envelop her in its warm embrace. The ever so faint smell of cologne, whiskey and cigarette smoke seemed to fill her nose. "Oh Daddy" she whispered.
The sun was getting low inthe sky and Junior knew she would have to hurry to make it back to the truck before the sun went behind the Moutain.
With tears in her eyes she opened the cannister and scattered her Daddys remains to the gentle breeze that had been softly blowing since she arrived.
"Goodbye Daddy" she said and turned to go. As she was leaving the wind picked up. She stopped and listened. for a brief moment she could have sworn she tho she had heard a cowboy call Yee Haw in the distance. She shook her head and began her slow sad journey down the moutain.

Part6 Together again
It was a warm September day as Ennis made his way up the trai to the campsite.
He wasn't quite sure where he was it seems as if he had been in some sort of fog a dream if you will. He remembered an old man laying in a hostpital bead with people crying. The man and the people looked familiar but he couldn't place them. Now here he is on horseback headed up the mountain. he figured he must have fallen asleep while riding. he hoped Jack would be there when he arrived. he looked so forward to seeing hin he couldn't get up the moutain fast enough. The poor horse was going as fast as he could on the terrain but Ennis' anticipation was exciting the horse and he pushed on faster.
Finaly Ennis crested the Ridge and rounded the corner. There before him sitting,waiting at the fire was his beloved Jack. Jack Looked up and his eyes grew big as saucers. He jumped up and let out a loud "YEEEE HAAAW" "Ennis fuckin Delmar, What took you so long". Ennis jumed off his horse without tying him up and ran into the waiting arms of his Jack. "I'm so sorry Lil Darlin, I made it it as soon as I could, I've missed you somtin fierce".
So there they were together again, in each other arms inthe sweet afterlife, never again to part.


Werd ich zum Augenblicke sagen, "Verweile doch! Du bist so schön..."

Offline CellarDweller

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Re: BetterMost member LoneLeeB3 passes away.
« Reply #415 on: August 02, 2010, 08:33:10 pm »
If I could allow myself to stop crying, I would then allow myself to stop being angry at God.  Right now, I just want to punch my fists into walls...

I hear you, Mandy.   :-\ :'(


Tell him when l come up to him and ask to play the record, l'm gonna say: ''Voulez-vous jouer ce disque?''
'Voulez-vous, will you kiss my dick?'
Will you play my record? One-track mind!

Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: BetterMost member LoneLeeB3 passes away.
« Reply #416 on: August 02, 2010, 08:46:14 pm »
LOL  I guess I am in the "anger" phase.  On the way home I was at an intersection.  The light changed, but I waited to let some pedestrians cross, and someone behind me started to lay on their horn.  I flipped them the bird and shouted out such a string of obscenities that, if my mom was in the car, she would'vd done an "Aunt Pittypat" and passed out.

Heck, as early as Saturday night already, I was so mad I felt like I wanted to hit somebody. Why I needed to be out with my usual friends at my usual watering hole that evening--and stayed out much later than I should have, considering that I was reading in church Sunday morning. Oddly enough, I was fine Sunday morning and did my usual good job as a lector (self-consciously pats self on the back. ...).
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: BetterMost member LoneLeeB3 passes away.
« Reply #417 on: August 02, 2010, 09:43:58 pm »
That was so wonderful Fritz. Rich speaking to us from beyond the grave.
Too much to do. . .I don't have time to get old!

Offline fritzkep

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Re: BetterMost member LoneLeeB3 passes away.
« Reply #418 on: August 02, 2010, 09:54:23 pm »
I hope (in some very, very, very distant year) that Rich will have a similar encounter.

Werd ich zum Augenblicke sagen, "Verweile doch! Du bist so schön..."

Offline jstephens9

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Re: BetterMost member LoneLeeB3 passes away.
« Reply #419 on: August 02, 2010, 10:08:05 pm »
I feel calm today.  I think Rich has his hands on my shoulders or somethin’.   :)

People cut me off on the freeway and I let it go.   I am listening more to folks and not judging them.  I am showing more mercy and forgiveness to folks.  My partner and I are moving in together and for the first time I don’t feel Ennis-like fear about it, but now I’m rather lookin’ for ward to it.  I have more patience and understanding today.  I want to try to continue to live my life this way going forward.

‘Cause in the end, life is too short!  I have learned that this weekend.


I too feel like I have learned a lot this weekend. Life is too short and we never know what is around the corner for us. I have become very aware of a flaw in myself that I truly need to work on. I have always known that flaw was there, but I have just let it continue to exist. That flaw is that I tend to build up walls around myself which prevent me from having very close friendships. I have always said that it was because I was a loner and people continually tell me that I am a very difficult person to get to know. The reason for that is that I do not let people in. Instead I throw up the gates which often results in me pushing people away.

Anyway enough of that, I am very happy for you Eric that you and your partner are moving in together. I'm very glad you have a partner now. You are certainly very deserving of finding that same kind of happiness that Rich found.