Well, if I were Jack, I'd say, "you and Alma, that's a life." Can't you just hear him saying it! I'll have to think about the concept of being set in one's ways, Amanda. It's true that there's a lot of people in my life which leads to a lot of chaos. Still, when I feel like being alone, I go to a movie or take a hike in the mountains, or just go to my room and take a nap. And that seems to take care of my need to be alone. The Dalai Lama said, Spend a little time alone each day. It's good advice (and I tell my friends, your commuting time doesn't count!) There's also the benefit of feeling secure about your possessions. I'm forever dealing with my things being "borrowed" or mislaid. It's unnerving. Still, there is something in my DNA which causes me to seek out the warmth of others. I must have been a bunny in a previous life.
The problem I found is that everyone's need for 'alone' time varies greatly.
I need a LOT of alone time.
When I was last engaged, my BF would be working on his car or watching TV and I'd retreat to the study to read and be alone. Needless to say, he'd wander in to see what I was doing. My last two BFs couldn't understand why I didn't want to sit with them and watch the game or listen to a band practice.
I was like Elaine in the Elaine and Puddy couple. Him wanting her to watch him play softball, her finding it boring and bringing a book to read to pass the time. Him getting upset because she wasn't paying attention to him playing.
If I was sleeping in on a Saturday, capable of sleeping blissfully till noon, most of my BFs would never let me, because they were early risers and were up at 8 AM and bored by 10 AM and would call and wake me up, wanting to know when they could come over.
When home alone, relaxing in the bathtub, having changed my mind about doing something because I felt like staying home, my fiance would call to see why I had changed my mind and what was I now doing? And if I was fed up and didn't want to answer the phone, he'd keep calling and calling and calling....
Nowadays, how much alone time do you really have when you get home from work?
At my last job, I'd get off anytime between 5:45 pm and 7:00 PM, then have to run errands, then get home and cook and/or work out, then when I settled down for 'Me time" invariably, a friend or my mother or my sister would call or e-mail. Yes, I need to take time for them, but guess whose time it came out of? That's right - my alone time.
Normally, if you work full-time and like to get in bed at a decent hour, you really only have 5 hours between 5 PM and 10 PM. That's not a whole lot of time.
