The "ABCs of BBM": Round 965! (Rules in first post)

[Meryl]

If you can't stand having to tug at your mom's skirt a jillion times to get her attention, just pull a jar of peanuts from the bottom of a big stack and watch them crash to the floor.  Fixed!

[memento]

When you want to lessen your involvement with your girlfriend, stop answering her calls and notes, continue eating your pie when confronted by her in a bus station and say: "Was probably no fun anyway, was I?" Fixed!

[Fran]

Worried about your wife finding out about your secret love?  Fill her head with misinformation.  Fixed!

=compliment= Meryl
I love your "J" post.

[southendmd]

When you're having a lovely fourth of July picnic with your family and you can't stand listening to bikers' words which are getting naughtier and naughtier, exchange a few pleasantries and then make them see fireworks.  Fixed!

[memento]

When you want more bounce for your ounce, drink three or four beers before dancing with the woman who accosted you on the way to the men's room. Fixed!

[Fran]

Tired of your hair color and wondering if blondes really do have more fun?  Experiment with peroxide.  Fixed!

[Meryl]

When you can't stand picking up one more sheep for fear of rupturing yourself, grab its back legs and drag the beastie where it needs to go.  Fixed!



=aside=Fran
Thanks!

[memento]

When your wife asks who your former lover is, you tell her he's a "fishing buddy" and hope she swallows it hook, line and sinker. Temporarily fixed!

[southendmd]

When you can't stand waiting for your cowboy liaisonnaire whilst wearing your best shirt, be sure to smoke your brains out and toss back as many beers as possible.  Fixed!

[Fran]

If after a 14-hour drive you're feeling particularly unappreciated and desolate because your lover would rather spend the weekend with his daughters than with you, a trip to Mexico will lift your spirits.  Fixed!