Messages From The Heartland

[David In Indy]

Here are the pictures Fi!

I took them last fall (I think). There were several deers in the yard, but a couple of them hopped the fence before I could take their picture. This one stayed around for a few more seconds. You can see him looking at me as I snapped the photo. He saw me through the window, and then he ran off.

[David In Indy]

I had no idea they mated for life, how sweet is that. The magpie is the same. There is a kid song in England which is called magpie and starts off, one for sorrow, 2 for joy. The inference being if you just see one magpie it is sad as it usually means they have lost their mate. There was a kids program called magpie and the song was their theme tune.
Oh that takes me back about 45 years, fighting with my brother whether we were going to watch blue peter or magpie, which was considered the more trendy program. Both of course were watched on a massive great lump of a T.V which was black and white. A concept my kids cannot comprehend.
We were also severely rationed vis a vis the amount of T.V we were permitted to watch. If we had misbehaved, i.e held our knife and fork in correctly, what a heinous crime, got down from the table before everyone had finished and even worse, not asked permission, out would sound  the cry, right no T.V for you tonight!!! In those days that was about the most awful punishment you could be given !! It would reduce my brother and I to tears. plus everyone at school would know you had misbehaved as you could not join in the T.V chatter.
It seems inconceivable to me now, to recall how incredibly simple life used to be.

My Mom and Dad used the TV as a tool for punishment too. And it was quite a serious punishment because we didn't have VCRs and DVD machines back then. If we missed a program, we might not ever see it again, or at best have to wait until next year. Now everything is available on tapes and discs. Kids can pop their favorite show into the machine and watch it whenever they want. It wasn't like that when I was growing up in the 60s and 70s. None of that existed back then.

I also remember only having four television channels on the TV - Channel 6 (back then it was NBC but changed to ABC in the early 80s), Channel 8 (CBS), Channel 13 (ABC and then NBC) and Channel 4 (WTTV) which was a local TV station. Channel 4 aired all the scary movies on the weekend - Nightmare Theater with Sammy Terry on Friday nights and Science Fiction Theater on Saturday nights! Then when I was 8 or 10 Channel 20 came to town, which is PBS (WFYI here in Indy). And Channel 40 a few years after that. Channel 40 was/is mostly a religious TV channel.

But we didn't have hundreds of channels like they do today. And if you missed a program you were screwed. lol

[David In Indy]

Sammy Terry from Channel 4's Nightmare Theater....









He used to scare the fire out of me when I was a kid!

[Kelda]

I don't think I've ever seen a humming bird here at all.  I've only seen them on the TV.

Me too.

[David In Indy]

They are running this commercial on TV - well actually they've been running it for the past year or two but lately they have been airing it frequently - for some acid reflux medicine called aciphex. The thing is though, every time I hear that commercial I think they are saying "ass effects" because it is pronounced EXACTLY the same. And then I have these crazy images running through my mind. Like a jeans commercial for example...

Ass Effects. The new designer jeans that makes your ass look fabulous!

or

Ass Effects. The new body paint specially formulated for your ass, now in 8 flourescent colors!

It makes me wonder what they were thinking when they named it aciphex, because acid reflux medicine is the LAST thing I'm thinking about when I hear that commercial. lol

Ass Effects - the new ass sculpting machine guaranteed to make your ass firm and tight in just 2 weeks!

[Kelda]

 

[CellarDweller]

Ass Effects. The new designer jeans that makes your ass look fabulous!

or

Ass Effects. The new body paint specially formulated for your ass, now in 8 flourescent colors!

Ass Effects - the new ass sculpting machine guaranteed to make your ass firm and tight in just 2 weeks!

 


That would be a great name for an "invention" my friend Jimmy came up with!

[David In Indy]

 


That would be a great name for an "invention" my friend Jimmy came up with!

Tell us about it!

What did he come up with Chuck? Inquiring minds want to know!

[CellarDweller]

Tell us about it!

What did he come up with Chuck? Inquiring minds want to know!

Well, he was taking a red eye flight, and apparently was one of the few people awake at that hour.

I guess the altitude was affecting people, and a number of them were passing gas, it was affecting the air quality, so to speak. 



Just at that moment, a flight attendant stopped by him, and they began talking, and she tod him that it was quiet common for this to happen, and that it can get really stinky at times.

So Jimmy had thought about something to insert into the butt, that when the fart passed through, would change it to a pleasant smelling odor.  He pictured a commercial with a man and a woman sitting next to each other, saying something like this:

Man:  *sniff sniff*..... Oh, is that you?

Woman:  "Yes....I'm wearing my new  ****."

Man:  "Smells great!"

Woman:  "I'm wearing 'Cinnamon bun'."

Man:  "Oh, I have on 'New Car Interior'."

 

The device would also have something inside to change the sound that occurs as well, so it was more pleasant sounding.

We were laughing so hard as he was telling me this, but we didn't have a name......I came up with Anal Aromas, but Ass Effects sounds so much cooler.

[David In Indy]