Messages From The Heartland

[mvansand76]

WAY TO GO, MELISSA!!!!!     

http://bettermost.net/forum/index.php/topic,1579.2355.htm

And I feel really honored you decided to post your 1000th message in my thread too!    

It's the first place I thought of!

 

[Kerry]

I'm glad you're still liking the story, Kerry.  I suppose an author shouldn't point out her own flaws, but what the hell.... For those of you who've read the story...I messed up and gave both Ennis's mother and Jill (who Kerry hasn't met yet) gaps between their front teeth.  Oops.  I didn't even notice it until I re-read the whole story.  That's one of the things I changed when I said I went back and cleaned up the story.  Sorry!!  That's what happens when you're trying to pound out a chapter a week.  LOL. 

  I will accept absolutely no criticism of this wonderful story from anyone, Amy!    Not even from the author!!!   

I love a gap between the front teeth. It runs in my family, even though I missed out and don't have it myself. 

Amy, I particularly loved the line,  "strands of blonde hair blowing across her laughing face."  Superb. 

[Kerry]

Kerry, that IS a good SoG Ennis!   

That's exactly how I picture him too. Where did you find this picture?   

I'm not sure where I came across this cute guy, David. Somewhere in the course of my travels. He's a dead-ringer for SoG Ennis for me, complete with suit and tie!!!    And he also has a bit of a Heath look about him too. Will post more pics of him when I get home tonight.

[midwest-girl]

I like that picture of SoG Ennis, too, Kerry.  This is going to sound weird to people, but as time went on SoG Jack and Ennis sort of morphed into other people for me.  I mean, they were still Jack and Ennis, but they were other people, too.  I think that's just a function of an AU!AU, by their very nature they have to be different from the original characters.  When I rewrote the story, edited it, etc. I even thought of different names for them.  I hope that doesn't freak people out.  It's not that I don't love Jack and Ennis (I adore them or I wouldn't have written Shades in the first place) and this story *is* about them, in a different time and place, but they were altered, too.  I'm probably making absolutely no sense at all......

[Kerry]

I like that picture of SoG Ennis, too, Kerry.  This is going to sound weird to people, but as time went on SoG Jack and Ennis sort of morphed into other people for me.  I mean, they were still Jack and Ennis, but they were other people, too.  I think that's just a function of an AU!AU, by their very nature they have to be different from the original characters.  When I rewrote the story, edited it, etc. I even thought of different names for them.  I hope that doesn't freak people out.  It's not that I don't love Jack and Ennis (I adore them or I wouldn't have written Shades in the first place) and this story *is* about them, in a different time and place, but they were altered, too.  I'm probably making absolutely no sense at all......

Amy, I understand exactly what you are saying. Fanfic has become a very cathartic device for me to utilise in moving on from the "real" Jack & Ennis. Not that I necessarily wanted to move one from them. And maybe that was my dilemma. I was stuck in a permanent state of mourning, which wasn't healthy. Like you, I love Jack and Ennis very much and want desperately for them to find happiness together. And it's through fanfic that this can happen.

[midwest-girl]

"A permanent state of mourning."  That's a perfect way to put it Kerry.  I spent six months stuck there.  Crying almost every day.  My husband totally freaked out and worried, my kids thinking mommy had gone off her rocker.  It was only when I started reading fanfic, and writing it, that I could slowly move to a better place with Jack and Ennis.  I still have my days, believe me, but my heart doesn't hurt constantly anymore.

[David In Indy]

Kerry, I believe we are discussing chapter 11 of SoG right now?

This was one of my favorite parts from that chapter....

Jack brought one hand up, passing his fingers over Ennis’s mouth. “Shhh…” he soothed. “It’s all right, Ennis. There’s no reason for you to be jealous.” He pressed against Ennis’s lower lip with his thumb, his eyes gentle. “I never loved him.”

“Jack…” Ennis moaned, burying his face in Jack’s neck, the air clogging in his lungs. He wished he could say something back, something that Jack would be able to take with him when he left. But in the end Ennis couldn’t find the words, had to be content to tell Jack with his body, rocking inside of him while his body whispered, Mine, Jack, you’re mine.

Chapter 11  "Shades of Grey"


I just loved that. It seemed so real to me. Not only did it seemed real to me as a gay man, but it seemed so.... Ennis and Jack.

I always loved it when Amy put things like that in her story. 

[David In Indy]

I'm glad you're still liking the story, Kerry.  I suppose an author shouldn't point out her own flaws, but what the hell.... For those of you who've read the story...I messed up and gave both Ennis's mother and Jill (who Kerry hasn't met yet) gaps between their front teeth.  Oops.  I didn't even notice it until I re-read the whole story.  That's one of the things I changed when I said I went back and cleaned up the story.  Sorry!!  That's what happens when you're trying to pound out a chapter a week.  LOL. 

I LOVED Jill! I also loved Ellis. For some reason I pictured Ellis to look a bit like James Earl Jones! 

[midwest-girl]

I LOVED Jill! I also loved Ellis. For some reason I pictured Ellis to look a bit like James Earl Jones! 

Me, too!  LOL.

[Kerry]

"A permanent state of mourning."  That's a perfect way to put it Kerry.  I spent six months stuck there.  Crying almost every day.  My husband totally freaked out and worried, my kids thinking mommy had gone off her rocker.  It was only when I started reading fanfic, and writing it, that I could slowly move to a better place with Jack and Ennis.  I still have my days, believe me, but my heart doesn't hurt constantly anymore.

Most of my tears these days are tears of joy, primarily as a result of the fanfic plots and scenarios. I want so desperately for Jack and Ennis to live happily ever after, wherever or however that may be, I invariably end up in floods of tears when that's what transpires in the plot. But they're tears of release - of happiness. Like you, I still have my dark days, but they're slowly becoming more and more infrequent. I know, though, that I will never stop loving Jack and Ennis. They have changed my life and become a permanent part of me.