Author Topic: A Very Special Halloween Costume Party- When Boys Dress Like Girls for Halloween  (Read 5484 times)

Offline Aloysius J. Gleek

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http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/11/05/when-boys-dress-like-girls-for-halloween/?hp





When Boys Dress Like Girls for Halloween
By TARA PARKER-POPE
November 5, 2010, 4:03 pm





When a 5-year-old Kansas City boy decided he wanted to be Daphne from the Scooby-Doo cartoon series for Halloween, his mom bought him the costume. While the boy’s friends liked the pink velvet dress and orange wig costume, some of the mothers at his school expressed disapproval.

The boy’s mother wrote an impassioned defense of her son’s costume choice on a blog called Nerdy Apple Bottom.


If you think that me allowing my son to be a female character for Halloween is somehow going to ‘make’ him gay then you are an idiot. Firstly, what a ridiculous concept. Secondly, if my son is gay, O.K., I will love him no less. Thirdly, I am not worried that your son will grow up to be an actual ninja so back off.




The post, which is accompanied by a photo of her son sporting his colorful costume while sitting on a pumpkin, has gone viral, generating at least a million hits and more than 26,000 comments. The mother, identified only as Sarah, was interviewed on CNN’s “American Morning,” where said she and her husband were “flabbergasted” by the response.

“This seems to really have struck a chord, not just with gays, straights, bisexual and transgender,” she said. “But a lot of biracial or special needs families have contacted me and said, “Thanks for supporting your son.’ ”

But on the same CNN program, a clinical psychologist, Dr. Jeff Gardere, accused the mom of “outing” her son by posting the photo on the Internet. “With all due respect, whether your child is gay or straight, I think you kind of outed him by putting him in the blog,” Dr. Gardere said.

The mother responded that her son has not been “outed,” because nobody knows the child’s sexual orientation. “First of all, he’s 5 years old,” she said on the program. “He’s made no sexual conscious choice — which I don’t believe it is (a choice) — but he’s made no overtures either way at the age of 5. I feel that people are reading into it in a negative way.”

She said her son simply loves Scooby-Doo and that he and his best friend, a girl, decided to both dress as Daphne this year. “Halloween is a night to dress up,” she said on the program. “You get to be something you are not. He loves Scooby-Doo.”

She summed up her feelings on the matter at the end of her blog.


If my daughter had dressed as Batman, no one would have thought twice about it. No one.

And all I hope for my kids, and yours…is that they are happy. If a set of purple sparkly tights and a velvety dress is what makes my baby happy one night, then so be it. If he wants to carry a purse, or marry a man, or paint fingernails with his best girlfriend, then O.K. My job as his mother is not to stifle that man that he will be, but to help him along his way. Mine is not to dictate what is ‘normal’ and what is not, but to help him become a good person. I hope I am doing that.

And my little man worked that costume like no other. He rocked that wig, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.



To see the full blog post, “My Son is Gay,” go to the Nerdy Apple Bottom blog. And visit the CNN American Morning Web site to see the video.
"Tu doives entendre je t'aime."
(and you know who I am...)


Cowboy Curtis (Laurence Fishburne)
and Pee-wee in the 1990 episode
"Camping Out"

Offline Monika

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If you think that me allowing my son to be a female character for Halloween is somehow going to ‘make’ him gay then you are an idiot. Firstly, what a ridiculous concept. Secondly, if my son is gay, O.K., I will love him no less. Thirdly, I am not worried that your son will grow up to be an actual ninja so back off.


I´ve never met the woman but I think I wanna marry her!  :laugh: That´s the funniest thing I´ve read in a long time. And so clever!

He is lucky to have a mum like her.

Offline milomorris

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Here's what I don't get: if momma has a problem with catty women at the school, why go public in a blog? Now her child is famous/notorious, and she has opened herself and her kid up to Lord knows what. I would have advised discretion.
  The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

--Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Offline CellarDweller

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Milo, I don't think the child is "famous".  If that boy walked down the street, I would have no idea who he was, and I can't imagine other people recognizing him.

I do agree that if she had something to say, she should've just addressed those parents directly, and while I do love the way she's supporting her son, I do wonder why she would be so willing to go so public with it.

People make the biggest things out of nothing.  I remember going to grade school and seeing some boys that dressed as girls.  No one ever thought anything of it that I can remember.


Tell him when l come up to him and ask to play the record, l'm gonna say: ''Voulez-vous jouer ce disque?''
'Voulez-vous, will you kiss my dick?'
Will you play my record? One-track mind!

Offline Aloysius J. Gleek

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Chuck (happily for YOU!), you are SO much younger than me. If a kindergarten/grade schoollboy had worn a girl's Halloween costume ANYWHERE in the five boroughs of the City of New York, in (say) 1960 - 1968, there would have been hell to pay.

"Fag" was hardly used, but "Sissy" was non-stop, and it was deadly. If you were labeled a sissy, it was over.

Luckily, I guess, things changed quickly, but until that change, maybe from the 1920's to the 60's, gender rules where cruelly strict. Schoolmates were cruel, and teachers would look away--or worse. There were no sympathetic adults to help.

Horrible but true.

 
"Tu doives entendre je t'aime."
(and you know who I am...)


Cowboy Curtis (Laurence Fishburne)
and Pee-wee in the 1990 episode
"Camping Out"

Offline CellarDweller

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Chuck (happily for YOU!), you are SO much younger than me. If a kindergarten/grade schoollboy had worn a girl's Halloween costume ANYWHERE in the five boroughs of the City of New York, in (say) 1960 - 1968, there would have been hell to pay.

"Fag" was hardly used, but "Sissy" was non-stop, and it was deadly. If you were labeled a sissy, it was over.

Luckily, I guess, things changed quickly, but until that change, maybe from the 1920's to the 60's, gender rules where cruelly strict. Schoolmates were cruel, and teachers would look away--or worse. There were no sympathetic adults to help.

Horrible but true.

I wasn't labeled a sissy.  I was labled a fag.  By the time I was in middle school, sissy wasn't really used.

I went to a Catholic school (Sacred Heart) and I saw a few (not many) boys that would dress as girls for Halloween.  It wasn't something I did, it wasn't something I wanted to do.

I see nothing wrong with this boy dressing like Daphne, and I applaud the mother for standing up in support of him, but I question if putting his image on the internet was the right thing to do.  I will admit, I haven't read the whole article, but was this boy mistreated or excluded from the festivities in any way by the school?  If not, then why make it so public?

Like I said before, some people make way too much out of stuff.

I remember years ago, my mother was running a day care out of our home, the kids were up to age 5, and then went to kindergarten.  One day, a young boy came in dressed in his sister's balerina unitard, it was pink.  He wore yellow socks, purple leg warmers, a red t-shirt and a yellow scarf.    My mom said to him when he came in, "My, you are very colorful today!"  He smiled, and mom was going to leave it at that.  The boy's father said "Tell her why you are dressed like this."  and the boy said "Today, I am an Easter Egg!"

The father rolled his eyes, and said "today, you are not my son." and left the house.


Tell him when l come up to him and ask to play the record, l'm gonna say: ''Voulez-vous jouer ce disque?''
'Voulez-vous, will you kiss my dick?'
Will you play my record? One-track mind!

Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Chuck (happily for YOU!), you are SO much younger than me. If a kindergarten/grade schoollboy had worn a girl's Halloween costume ANYWHERE in the five boroughs of the City of New York, in (say) 1960 - 1968, there would have been hell to pay.

Luckily, I guess, things changed quickly, but until that change, maybe from the 1920's to the 60's, gender rules where cruelly strict. Schoolmates were cruel, and teachers would look away--or worse. There were no sympathetic adults to help.

Horrible but true.

I think I've told this story before. I think it must have been the year I was in Second Grade--which would have made it Halloween of 1965--in my elementary school in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, I was a witch for Halloween. I wore a black circle skirt of my mother's (which was floor-length on a Second Grader), one of her white blouses, a wig, a half-mask, and my mother made me a short orange cape. I carried a kid-sized broom. My only memories are that everybody was suitably impressed by the masquerade. My teacher even took me to other classrooms and had the students guess whether the "witch" was a boy or a girl. I don't remember any negative repercussions.

I also can't remember whether my mother took any pictures, or where they might be if she did.  ???

I don't remember whether my father even said anything about my costume.
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline Aloysius J. Gleek

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I wasn't labeled a sissy.  I was labled a fag.  By the time I was in middle school, sissy wasn't really used.

I went to a Catholic school (Sacred Heart) and I saw a few (not many) boys that would dress as girls for Halloween.  It wasn't something I did, it wasn't something I wanted to do.



I was in Catholic grammar school from 1960 to 1968--it was horrible. 'Sissy' was the word then, and I was a sissy. I was seriously bullied constantly from the first grade to the fifth. It was intense, it was real, and it was dangerous. It still makes me sick to think about it. If I had ever worn a girl's Halloween costume, I would have been pounded into a pulp. (Weird sidenote: a couple of weeks ago, for the first time ever, I received a letter from this very school FORTY TWO YEARS after I graduated, asking for a donation. In semi-shock (how did they have my address??) I looked at the signature of the school principal at the bottom of the letter, and her (very, VERY unusual) last name was the same name as one of my classmates in that wretched school. Her husband? Ugh. I shuddered and threw the letter into the trash.)

Anyway: from the third or fourth grade on, I was always mentally counting down the days, weeks, months and years until 8th grade graduation. It was horrible, a prison, a nightmare. For whatever reason, the bullying stopped sometime halfway through the sixth grade and I was then left alone, pretty much, but never felt comfortable. Mental and emotional scars for years. Decades. Buried.

But then, literally, I died and went to HEAVEN. From 1968 - 1972, I went to a VERY progressive, academically challenging high school (challenging if you wanted, and I did--people could take less challenging tracks if they chose, and that was ok, too). Oh, yes, it was a boys' school. At this point, 'Sissy' was out and 'Fag' was the cool word, but you know what? Not only was I was ever bullied at this school, I never EVER saw ANYONE bullied there. Swear to God. NEVER.

There were the cliques: the Jocks, the Nerds (that was me), and Preppies (exactly 10 years BEFORE the famous Handbook) and the Stoners, and the four cliques pretty much ignored each other. The Jocks and (sometimes) the Prepsters used the word 'Fag' interchangeably with 'idiot'--but there was no stigma, there wasn't even a sting. I loved my teachers and I loved my school. When I think about what teenagers TODAY have to go through--it makes me so sad and angry.



I see nothing wrong with this boy dressing like Daphne, and I applaud the mother for standing up in support of him, but I question if putting his image on the internet was the right thing to do.  I will admit, I haven't read the whole article, but was this boy mistreated or excluded from the festivities in any way by the school?  If not, then why make it so public?

Like I said before, some people make way too much out of stuff.



Hmmm. You know, though? I think it's a good thing. Now.



The father rolled his eyes, and said "today, you are not my son." and left the house.



Oh my god.

 :P :-X :(
"Tu doives entendre je t'aime."
(and you know who I am...)


Cowboy Curtis (Laurence Fishburne)
and Pee-wee in the 1990 episode
"Camping Out"

Offline Front-Ranger

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The best Halloween costume my son ever did was Legolas. We started working on it in July. He drew the costume, we shopped for all the materials, and I made leggings, a tunic, a cape, a leaf pin, boots, a halberd, a quiver, two swords, a bow, arrows (we made the arrows together), gauntlets, and, yes, a long blond wig.
Too much to do. . .I don't have time to get old!

Offline Monika

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from what I understand this woman wrote about her son on a blog. I wouldn´t exactly call that to "go public".  And besides, neither she or her son has nothing to be ashamed of. It´s no more than a piece of clothing O0
More power to them