http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/11/05/when-boys-dress-like-girls-for-halloween/?hpWhen Boys Dress Like Girls for Halloween
By TARA PARKER-POPE
November 5, 2010, 4:03 pm When a 5-year-old Kansas City boy decided he wanted to be
Daphne from the Scooby-Doo cartoon series for Halloween, his mom bought him the costume. While the boy’s friends liked the pink velvet dress and orange wig costume, some of the mothers at his school expressed disapproval.
The boy’s mother wrote an impassioned defense of her son’s costume choice on a blog called
Nerdy Apple Bottom.
If you think that me allowing my son to be a female character for Halloween is somehow going to ‘make’ him gay then you are an idiot. Firstly, what a ridiculous concept. Secondly, if my son is gay, O.K., I will love him no less. Thirdly, I am not worried that your son will grow up to be an actual ninja so back off.The post, which is accompanied by a photo of her son sporting his colorful costume while sitting on a pumpkin, has gone viral, generating at least a million hits and more than 26,000 comments. The mother, identified only as
Sarah, was interviewed on
CNN’s “American Morning,” where said she and her husband were “flabbergasted” by the response.
“This seems to really have struck a chord, not just with gays, straights, bisexual and transgender,” she said. “But a lot of biracial or special needs families have contacted me and said, “Thanks for supporting your son.’ ”
But on the same CNN program, a clinical psychologist,
Dr. Jeff Gardere, accused the mom of “outing” her son by posting the photo on the Internet. “With all due respect, whether your child is gay or straight, I think you kind of outed him by putting him in the blog,” Dr. Gardere said.
The mother responded that her son has not been “outed,” because nobody knows the child’s sexual orientation. “First of all, he’s 5 years old,” she said on the program. “He’s made no sexual conscious choice — which I don’t believe it is (a choice) — but he’s made no overtures either way at the age of 5. I feel that people are reading into it in a negative way.”
She said her son simply loves Scooby-Doo and that he and his best friend, a girl, decided to both dress as Daphne this year. “Halloween is a night to dress up,” she said on the program. “You get to be something you are not. He loves Scooby-Doo.”
She summed up her feelings on the matter at the end of her blog.
If my daughter had dressed as Batman, no one would have thought twice about it. No one.
And all I hope for my kids, and yours…is that they are happy. If a set of purple sparkly tights and a velvety dress is what makes my baby happy one night, then so be it. If he wants to carry a purse, or marry a man, or paint fingernails with his best girlfriend, then O.K. My job as his mother is not to stifle that man that he will be, but to help him along his way. Mine is not to dictate what is ‘normal’ and what is not, but to help him become a good person. I hope I am doing that.
And my little man worked that costume like no other. He rocked that wig, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.To see the full blog post, “My Son is Gay,” go to the
Nerdy Apple Bottom blog. And visit the
CNN American Morning Web site to see the video.