Author Topic: Shades of Grey by Midwest-girl  (Read 284870 times)

mvansand76

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Re: Shades of Grey by Midwest-girl
« Reply #950 on: December 07, 2006, 05:56:05 pm »
Hey come on guys, where are you?  :o

(*Jumps up and down in front of the computer*)


Offline David In Indy

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Re: Shades of Grey by Midwest-girl
« Reply #951 on: December 07, 2006, 06:31:21 pm »
Hey come on guys, where are you?  :o

(*Jumps up and down in front of the computer*)



Shhh. Calm down Melissa.  ;)

(I think Melissa wants to hear some input from everyone about Chapter 16)

I'm getting ready to read it in a few minutes.  :)
Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

Offline Kazza

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Re: Shades of Grey by Midwest-girl
« Reply #952 on: December 07, 2006, 08:18:56 pm »
Hey all.

Well, our boys aren't back together, but I have to say that I felt cleansed after reading that chapter. There was the beginnings of hope in it, specially from Jack's POV.

I felt for Ennis when he visited Jack's empty apartment. Could Jack not at least have left a forwarding address or number, or at least let Ennis know he was moving? That felt very final, and from reading Jack's thoughts later, I guess he thought that it was. Then again, both he and Ennis know that Ennis can trace him without too much trouble.

I love the job that Jack has. I'm hoping that it will bring him a feeling of self worth. He will make some good friends there I think. Maybe he and Ennis will cross paths at court, where Jack will be acting on the right side of the law for once.

It would have been so easy for Ennis to have denied his true feelings to himself, and to the world, and to slip back into him old lfe (minus Alma perhaps - that was beyond saving), but he has chosen truth. This will lead him back to Jack, I am sure of it.

As always, this story just leaves you hungry and aching for more!

Karen

Offline littleguitar

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Re: Shades of Grey by Midwest-girl
« Reply #953 on: December 07, 2006, 11:23:01 pm »
Quote
Then again, both he and Ennis know that Ennis can trace him without too much trouble.

I wonder if Ennis will go to Colin for help with this while he's on administrative leave and doesn't have access to the usual resources. That would be a perfect opportunity for Ennis to come clean with Colin at least about being gay and being in love with Jack which I'm sure Colin already suspects.  I think Ennis needs to make that step in order to "clean up his life".

I was so proud of both of them in this chapter. Even though they are apart they are both making really important strides and doing things that are necessary if they are going to have a healthy relationship (even if Jack does think their split is final... I mean come on Jack! don't you see what being apart from him is doing to you?????? Grr! ok, I'm calm now...).

I really loved this chapter, it felt very peaceful even if things are still uncertain and they are apart.
‘cause the truth is, I already give him everythin’ I got to give, more than I ever even knew I had; ‘n it all for him, all of it, him who is my brother, my father, my child, my friend, my lover, my heart, my soul; my Ennis.

-- del Mar Painting, Ch. 48 by b73

Offline Kazza

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Re: Shades of Grey by Midwest-girl
« Reply #954 on: December 08, 2006, 09:33:39 am »
Hee hee... are you all ready for another of my wild speculations (I have to right at least once surely)?  ;D

I'm wondering of this young offender that Jill is dealing with might have been drawn into Hinestronza's web (what with the drugs connection and all). Helping Jill help him might be a way for Jack to redeem himself a little in his own eyes. Or maybe the kid has no connection to Mr H, but Jack will help him before he gets too embroiled in a life that he can't escape.

Too much of a fantastic co-incidence?

Karen

Offline littleguitar

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Re: Shades of Grey by Midwest-girl
« Reply #955 on: December 08, 2006, 10:07:31 am »
I love your wild speculations  ;D

That would definitely be interesting, either way I'm really really glad Jack came to the realization he did at the end of this chapter. If this kid can help him learn that he needs to forgive himself, then I'm all for it!
‘cause the truth is, I already give him everythin’ I got to give, more than I ever even knew I had; ‘n it all for him, all of it, him who is my brother, my father, my child, my friend, my lover, my heart, my soul; my Ennis.

-- del Mar Painting, Ch. 48 by b73

one_of_one

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Re: Shades of Grey by Midwest-girl
« Reply #956 on: December 08, 2006, 10:33:29 am »
This chapter very much had the feeling of an epilogue to me, the pacing is now a lot slower, the whole feel of it is different to the previous chapters.  Amy said somewhere that if she had been writing this as a "proper" book she may have stopped after the last chapter....and it does have that kind of feel to it.  Almost as if I've finished one book and have picked up another.  There was a very strong feel up till now that it was all about Jack and Ennis v. The World...whereas now it's more how they can live in the world.  This isn't necessarily a criticism, just that now things feel different to me.  I wonder if it's because all the action thus far has taken place in a short space of time, whereas now a few weeks have gone by. 

I felt really sorry for Alma, there she was waiting for Ennis to explain how he and Jack weren't what it looked like...trusting her fiancee.  And it turns out it was a lie.  Thank goodness Ennis came clean, because he really has treated Alma very shabbily.  She deserved better.  Why he thought she might want to keep his ring I don't know.  He's lucky she wasn't a bit more feisty or else he might have ended up with it in the place he might allow Jack to go one day!!!!   ;D And Dane....much as Ennis hated him he turned good for Jack, and was there when he was needed.  I can't remember the exact quote but when he reminded Jack that Ennis did what he did because he LOVES JAck, it seemed a little bit might be seeping through into Jack's consciousness.  Hurray. :)

I'm still overly interested in what Colin and Ennis are going to be saying to each other!  Next chapter, maybe......?   :)

There was one scene in particular that didn't feel real to me; the scene being Jack's epiphany when he saw the young man who could have been himself. And it struck him that if he could feel compassion for this boy, he could feel it for himself and perhaps he was good after all. 32 years of abuse don't, in my opinion, enable a person to have a sudden moment like that where they realise that everything they have been taught, everything that is ingrained in their psyche over three decades, might not be true. Up till that point Jack had been portrayed as a man with deep psychological problems. His belief that he would be better off dead, and his conviction that it was a good thing to be tortured and killed in exchange for his loved one to be spared can't suddenly be erased in the space of eight weeks. I don't think it's believable that a person with such strong and extreme convictions about themselves can, over such a short space of time, be heading off in totally the other direction.

I know that his realisation is only the beginning, and that not everything is fixed, but if he can think that after a few weeks  it won't be long before he's fully recovered from both childhood and adult trauma.  And that just doesn't sit well with me.

However - LOL - I am always in a minority of one where these things are concerned!   ;D  And whatever their feelings and realisations the sooner Ennis finds out where Jack is, or Jack realises he needs to get back to KC to be with Ennis, the better!!  :)  I also totally loved the way you began the chapter with a flashback to their time in the flat....I was thinking there would be no more of that now, and was so happy to read that.  :)

« Last Edit: December 08, 2006, 10:45:42 am by one_of_one »

Offline littleguitar

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Re: Shades of Grey by Midwest-girl
« Reply #957 on: December 08, 2006, 11:06:44 am »
Helen I think you bring up a really good point when you say this chapter feels different, feels like a new book. I thought the same thing and I remember wondering what direction Amy would take it in after the torture and Madrigal's death because all of that seemed very final. But, I love reading this new book too  ;)

You make a really good point about Jack's epiphany. Even though I was really happy he was moving in that direction, I'm inclined to agree with you, especially with the way you put it... I guess I'm just wondering how long this epiphany will actually last, if he'll wake up in the morning and still feel the same way or if this was just a particularly good night for him and tomorrow he'll be back to his old Jack thoughts of I don't deserve any of this... I don't know. You bring up really interesting points!
‘cause the truth is, I already give him everythin’ I got to give, more than I ever even knew I had; ‘n it all for him, all of it, him who is my brother, my father, my child, my friend, my lover, my heart, my soul; my Ennis.

-- del Mar Painting, Ch. 48 by b73

mvansand76

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Re: Shades of Grey by Midwest-girl
« Reply #958 on: December 08, 2006, 11:51:24 am »
Helen, I need the read the last part again that you are referring to, but the way I read it is not so much a life-altering epiphany, but more a step towards change, to me it didn't feel like it's a done deal now.

Maybe it would be all right with Ortiz or God or whoever was watching, if he showed himself just that little bit of mercy, allowed himself to believe that forgiveness might be something he deserved after all.

That seems like one step forward, but him not being there yet... it's just the beginning to find a way to deal with everything, if he doesn't allow himself forgiveness, he can never start to heal?

Offline Bigheart

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Re: Shades of Grey by Midwest-girl
« Reply #959 on: December 08, 2006, 11:52:02 am »
H ~ You always manage to really get me thinking on various fanfic updates and I love that, love that you can point out stuff to me that for whatever reason just didn't sink in or that I just overlooked  :)  :)

I totally agree with the Jack and Ennis v. The World and that this chapter has them doing stuff *in* the world, but I really enjoyed reading about that. Especially Jack moving and getting a job and Dane helping him  :) I think Dane's a really good guy and I hope life works out good for him too and I'm very grateful to him for what he said to Jack. Plus I feel so sorry for him  :(

You really got me thinking on the epiphany bit ~ I tend to read with my heart and was just overjoyed at Jack feeling this way but I must say you've really got a good point with all of this. He has been so totally fucked up for nearly his whole life and that is not fixed in a matter of weeks, not that Amy implied that all was fixed but even realising this stuff about himself in such a short period of time might not seem believeble, as you pointed out.

I agree too about the beginning of the chapter and said so to Amy in my comment  :) I absolutey loved their sweet joking around and their sweet and hot loving  :) It was beautiful