Author Topic: I miss you on weekends  (Read 213784 times)

injest

  • Guest
Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #140 on: March 18, 2007, 10:05:14 pm »
Phoenix, your mom is probably having a hard time with figuring out how to act....how to feel...

and you and Bill are as confusing to her as it is to you...think about it, if YOU don't know what is going on with your relationship, she probably is ten times more confused...

I wish I had more help for you...more words of wisdom...but don't get too upset with her...she is probably doing the best she can.

Offline RebelWithASmile

  • Moderator
  • Brokeback Got Me Good
  • *****
  • Posts: 258
  • Love was the word that left my lips
Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #141 on: March 20, 2007, 08:09:50 pm »
3/20 - Tuesday

Well, the day started out good. I was energetic, but when i get to school...Bill ruins it for me.

I swear he is so emotionless. It was so scary today. He is bipolar, and he was on Ritalin so he is sometimes like a zombie. Today it was the worst ever. I asked him if everything was okay, he said it was.

At Lunch I asked if 'i did anything wrong' and he said no, but i had this feeling. I might be getting paranoid, but he seemed to be happier talking to everyone else than he was talking to me. I didn't know what i did wrong...he just seemed so dead to me.

After school, he apologized for being so zombie-like. I just told him to go home and exercise as that helps me. I told him to drink some coffee or hot chocolate or hot tea, as they help too. I was staying after school for rehearsals, and i told him that my mom could give him a ride home if his sister didn't show up (she never did). But he said he wanted to walk home. He lives less than ten minutes from the school, but the walk would be exhausting (but not impossible).

He's smoking now...and he thinks that he was just going through a bipolar mood-swing...i really don't know. What did i do?

He got a lighter from our friend, Haley, and will give it back to her tomorrow. I gave him some pills at school for a headache (as he had one) and when i looked around for any teachers, he said 'just give them to me.' It was neither peaceful nor angry, it was just upsetting.

Then when he did leave to walk home... i was desecrated. It was horrible just to see him leave

He was so sad...i just couldn't help him.

When Happiness May Come

I caught you watching
The sunset,
Heaven washing
Over your frown

And I knew you were
Upset,
Shattered ice
Covered in snow
Please,
It's okay to let
It show
Everyone dies
A Little
Everyday

I hope it gets
Better
It couldn't get
Colder
I'm sorry you
Had to walk
Alone
I wish I could
Help you
Perhaps,
Hold you,
But this you
Must but can't
Do on your own

It will get better
Maybe not colder
I'm sorry you had
To cry
Alone
I wish I could
Help you
Perhaps,
Tell you,
You can't
Always be
Alone

I see the
Sadness in your eyes
The gray in my skies
But you just hold
It inside

A rose in
The road
That is much worth
Laying on a grave
To sleep,
Would not give
His heart away
Tragedy,
He would keep
"He was very afraid of being hurt. He was afraid of opening up in case it was turned around and used against him."


Heaven holds a sense of wonder

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0VVoScBd4k

Offline RebelWithASmile

  • Moderator
  • Brokeback Got Me Good
  • *****
  • Posts: 258
  • Love was the word that left my lips
Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #142 on: March 20, 2007, 08:23:07 pm »
"It will get better"




"I hope so"


................
"He was very afraid of being hurt. He was afraid of opening up in case it was turned around and used against him."


Heaven holds a sense of wonder

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0VVoScBd4k

Offline Shakesthecoffecan

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost 5000+ Posts Club
  • *******
  • Posts: 9,566
  • Those were the days, Alberta 2007.
Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #143 on: March 26, 2007, 10:41:56 am »
Hey Bud,

There will be days like this, for you as well as for him. Let it be like water off a ducks back. The sum of all the days, good and bad, is what paints the picture of our lives.

In other words, don't let one day knock you for a loop, and if it is a prolonged thing, help him to get help with his problem.

Peace.
"It was only you in my life, and it will always be only you, Jack, I swear."

Offline RebelWithASmile

  • Moderator
  • Brokeback Got Me Good
  • *****
  • Posts: 258
  • Love was the word that left my lips
Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #144 on: March 29, 2007, 12:14:36 am »
I love The Hours, what a good movie about gay people :D

great acting, and so dramatic, i love the character of Virginia Woolf. I feel so bad for Julianne Moore's character, and poor Meryl Streep.

I got a great lecture today by a family friend. I came out to her (i've known her for >10 years)

And every time one of her daughters came into the house, i came out to them, LMAO! It was hilarious.


She told me to let Bill go, as i could wind up dead, because Jackie isn't fooling, and that i can't really help. This friend has been through A LOT! She knows people very well, and feels sorry for Bill (i informed her.) Weird, I'm trying to heed everything she said but i felt so apathetic, as i have this entire break (Spring Break).

Bill found out about the letter we sent to his dad...

he was mad, but not so anymore. He finally called today, i was surprised, i thought he hated me.

We're going to see 300 Friday...

I need to read Mrs. Dalloway

To read list

Mrs. Dalloway
The Amityville Horror
Frankenstein
Hard Love (school research paper!)
LOTRs



I've been so bored lately, that i started back into Lord of the Rings :-\

I'm that bored.


I love the movies, of course, and i love the game, and i want to give the books another shot

I'm sorry, but i cannot read the books. They bore me too much, though i try and try and i might actually read them soon, i doubt I'll get through them all. It's such a wonderful journey. I watched all three movies lately, and i did a little research. I'm becoming a fanatic again :o


Any Lord of the Rings fans out there???

I love the movie Quills. It's so wonderful, and it reminds me of my short story (for which i need to send to you guys)  ;)
"He was very afraid of being hurt. He was afraid of opening up in case it was turned around and used against him."


Heaven holds a sense of wonder

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0VVoScBd4k

Offline Front-Ranger

  • BetterMost Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 30,287
  • Brokeback got us good.
Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #145 on: March 29, 2007, 01:07:36 am »
I started reading a great book tonite. It is On the Road by Jack Kerouac. I can't put it down! Think I'll stay up all nite!!

"chewing gum and duct tape"

Offline RebelWithASmile

  • Moderator
  • Brokeback Got Me Good
  • *****
  • Posts: 258
  • Love was the word that left my lips
Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #146 on: April 09, 2007, 07:00:09 pm »
Smoking helps sometimes. I have a friend that i smoke with and her mom and dad only live a 10 minute walk from my house! Next is weed ::)


But why do i tell you guys?  :laugh:


Bill didn't spend this weekend, he rather have played the game i lent him which won't even work for me...he didn't even ask. But the weekend before last, he spent TWO NIGHTS. And we walked around town-to the graveyard-to Walmart-to the movie store. it was awesome.

We also saw 300 ;)

He slicks his hair back now


The graveyard is a great place to be when I'm tired or sad. Its my favorite place to be in town. I smoked a cigarette there today ;D

damn lighter wouldn't work for about 5 minutes, LOL! God obviously didn't want me to smoke it...

but i did.

Quills is officially the best movie ever. I recommend it to all of you. Its classic, and I love Kate Winslet.

Am i the only Kate Winslet/ Jaquine Phoenix fan on here?


-Phoenix (I now have a myspace, but no pic. yet)  ;)

myspace.com/estrangedbloodquill
"He was very afraid of being hurt. He was afraid of opening up in case it was turned around and used against him."


Heaven holds a sense of wonder

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0VVoScBd4k

Offline Lumière

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost 5000+ Posts Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 9,283
Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #147 on: April 09, 2007, 08:19:41 pm »
I love Quills!  I first saw it on TV a while ago and decided to order it on Amazon a few months ago.
Agreed that Kate Winslet, Joaquin Phoenix and Geoffrey Rush were amazing in it!

I do have "The Hours" on my to-get list of DVDs at this time.


So.. You really sure that the graveyard is a cool hang-out spot? lol..
If I ever do try it, I'll let you know, but don't hold your breath!  ;)

Oh..and..Cool blog!

~M


Offline Lumière

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost 5000+ Posts Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 9,283
Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #148 on: April 11, 2007, 03:13:47 pm »
I went back and watched Quills last night, and loved it all over again!





Joeffrey Rush really is a super fine actor.  But the one person I really could watch forever is Joaquin .. 
His struggles as the Abbe were very palpable, his eyes mirrored the young priest's conflicts so well .. I love his eyes.. ;)
And of course, Kate Winslet was awesome, she usually is!

I wish the movie was a little bit longer .. even though it is already 2hours+..  :)
« Last Edit: April 11, 2007, 03:17:11 pm by Lucise »


Offline Br. Patrick

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • Brokeback Got Me Good
  • *****
  • Posts: 764
  • "So what're we gonna do now?"
Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #149 on: April 11, 2007, 05:01:01 pm »
So.. You really sure that the graveyard is a cool hang-out spot?
~M

Milli, I have had extraordinary experiences in graveyards.   Very Mystical and Very Spiritual~  So I agree that a graveyard is a way-cool hang out spot!  Go for it Phoenix!  There is a lot of comfort for a soul in pain among the dead...

peace  :'(
br. patrick
« Last Edit: April 11, 2007, 05:13:42 pm by Br. Patrick »
Lean on me, let our hearts beat in time,
Feel strength from the hands that have held you so long.
Who cares where we go on this rugged old road
In a world that may say that we're wrong.

...Cause I know - A love that will never grow old.

Gustavo Santaolalla & Bernie Taupin