http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-2054116/Marilyn-Monroe-Colin-Clark-recalls-relationship-Hollywood-legend.htmlMy week with Marilyn Monroe:
A writer recalls his relationship
with the troubled Hollywood legend
By Colin Clark
Last updated at 8:00 PM on 29th October 2011In 1956, 23-year-old Colin Clark got a job working on The Prince and the Showgirl, the film that disastrously united Laurence Olivier with Marilyn Monroe. Here, in an extract from his memoir My Week With Marilyn, which has been made into a film starring Michelle Williams and Kenneth Branagh, he reveals how he ended up sharing a bed with the troubled Hollywood star 
Marilyn lounges on a sofa in The Prince and the ShowgirlIn the summer of 1956 I worked on the set of a film starring
Laurence Olivier and
Marilyn Monroe.
I had just finished university and was only there because my parents were friends of Olivier and his then wife,
Vivien Leigh.
Filming on
The Prince and the Showgirl went badly from the beginning. Olivier, the best-known classical actor of his generation, patronised Monroe – who before then had played only strippers and chorus girls – and treated her like a dumb blonde. Monroe’s new husband, the playwright
Arthur Miller, dealt with her like a difficult child, and
Milton Greene (her business partner in
Marilyn Monroe Productions) was desperate to retain control of ‘his’ star by giving her prescription drugs. But Monroe was determined to prove that she could act.
From my first day as third assistant director I kept a journal that was later published as
The Prince, the Showgirl and Me. But nine days during the middle of filming were missing from my account. During those days something happened that was impossible to include in my normal entries. I could not have written this account while Marilyn was alive. It is a tribute to someone who changed my life, and whose own I only wish I could have saved.
TUESDAY 11 SEPTEMBER 1956I’ve met all sorts of famous people, but Marilyn is different. Her aura is incredibly strong and in the flesh is almost more than one can take. When I am with her my eyes don’t want to leave her. It is a feeling one could easily confuse with love. No wonder she has so many fans and spends most of her time shut up at home. She seems frightened. I know I must not add to those persecuting her, but it is my job to assist her and I can’t resist being in her orbit.
From left: Laurence Olivier and Marilyn Monroe in The Prince and the Showgirl; Marilyn at the
film’s premiere in London in June 1957
From left: Marilyn and Laurence at a press conference at the Savoy Hotel, 1956; with her husband
Arthur Miller in London, October 1956WEDNESDAY 12 SEPTEMBERThough Marilyn never arrived at the studio on time, Olivier was always there at seven o’clock sharp. Just before lunch, to everyone’s surprise, Marilyn did show up, but by four o’clock that afternoon she was even more distressed than usual. Olivier decided to call it a day and when I went to his dressing room he was angrily discussing with Milton Greene why Marilyn was so upset.
‘Colin,’ said Olivier, ‘go across to Miss Monroe’s suite and ask her very politely whether she intends to come to work tomorrow.’
* * * * *
‘Colin,’ Marilyn’s voice was no more than a whisper, ‘what is your job on the picture?’
‘I’m what they call a “gofer”. Anyone can boss me around.’
‘Are you a spy for Sir Laurence? I always see you round him.’
‘I’m not a spy but it’s my job to report anything that will help his movie get made. He’s sent me to see if you are coming to work tomorrow.’
‘Mr Miller is flying to Paris tomorrow so I’ll stay home to see him.’
‘Of course, Miss Monroe.’
There was a long pause.
‘Colin, whose side are you on?’
‘Oh, yours, Miss Monroe. I promise you I’m on your side and always will be.’
THURSDAY 13 SEPTEMBERThe phone in the studio rang. Milton happened to be standing next to it and picked it up. His face crumpled a little when he told me, ‘It’s for you.’
It was
Roger, Marilyn’s bodyguard: ‘Miss Monroe wants you to visit this evening.’
‘Me? Why me?’
Milton exploded from across the room, ‘What is my star doing phoning my third assistant director?’
Marilyn came on the line, ‘See you later, Colin. OK?’
* * * * *
‘Come on, Colin,’ Marilyn laughed, ‘let’s have some dinner. I’m starved. Or are you meant to be with somebody else? There’s not a Mrs Colin is there, waiting for you at home?’
I looked at her across the table and for the first time realised what was going on. Marilyn was lonely. She needed someone to talk to, someone who didn’t expect her to be clever or sexy, but just to be whatever she felt she wanted to be.
FRIDAY 14 SEPTEMBERAs soon as we broke for lunch, Milton Greene was waiting for me: ‘Colin, I must talk to you very seriously. I had a call from Arthur Miller in Paris. He called Marilyn late last night and when he asked her why she took so long to answer the phone she said she had been saying goodbye to you. What were you doing there?’
‘I wasn’t doing anything!’
‘Colin, please don’t go over to see Marilyn again. Or even talk to her without telling me. I’m going to have dinner with her this evening and I’ll explain the situation to her. She told us that she might see you again tonight, and clearly that must not happen. OK?’
It had been fun while it lasted but I didn’t want to lose my job. Nothing had happened, but I felt desperately sorry for Marilyn. She was trapped by her own fame.
SATURDAY 15 SEPTEMBERAround lunchtime I heard the noise of a car on the gravel drive outside my house. It was Roger – he’d come to take me out to lunch.
‘Where to?’ I asked, climbing into the front seat.
‘Just shut the door, would you?’ He scrunched into first gear.
‘Surpri-hise!’ Marilyn’s blonde head suddenly erupted in the rear-view mirror. ‘Roger and I thought we’d surprise you. I want to go to Windsor Great Park. Aren’t you pleased? I don’t like being on my own in the back. Come and join me.’
This was all going much too fast for me. It was incredibly exhilarating to be in the back seat of a car with Marilyn Monroe, but what would happen next? How could I go back to working on the film?
SUNDAY 16 SEPTEMBER‘Well, well. Who’s been a naughty boy, then?’
I ignored the innuendo.
‘What did you two do together, exactly?’
‘We went to Windsor Great Park and had lunch.’ I left out that we’d been swimming in the Thames and Marilyn had kissed me full on the lips.
‘Colin,’ Milton Greene said, ‘I’m not mad at you. I just want to give you a word of advice. I’ve known Marilyn a long time and I understand her. I fell in love with her just like you are. The trouble is that Marilyn has a romance with anybody who happens to take her fancy. But it’s a mistake to fall in love with her. She’ll only break your heart.’
Kenneth Branagh as Laurence Olivier, and Michelle Williams and Eddie Redmayne as Marilyn
and Colin Clark in the film My Week With Marilyn, which will be released next monthMONDAY 17 SEPTEMBER‘Marilyn? It’s me. Are you awake?’ Silence.
‘Marilyn. Wake up. It’s Colin. I’ve come to see if you’re all right.’ Silence.
I’d been called to Marilyn’s house by Roger and her assistant. They were worried she’d taken too many pills when she wouldn’t answer the door or respond. I decided there was nothing for it but to climb through the bedroom window.
‘I’m so sorry, Marilyn, I just wanted to make sure you were OK.’
‘Hi, Colin. I thought you’d come. Get in with me.’
‘Marilyn, everyone in the house is very worried, they thought you might be ill.’
I remembered Roger outside the locked bedroom door. ‘What’s going on? Is Miss Monroe all right?’ he whispered.
‘Marilyn’s fine, she’s just asleep. Tell everyone to go to bed. I’ll stay with her and sleep on the sofa. Marilyn’s asked me to stay so I’ll stay.’
By the time I got back to the bed Marilyn was asleep. I suddenly felt very tired myself. Certainly I could not take advantage of a sleeping Marilyn Monroe but half of her huge bed was empty and my eyelids were beginning to droop. Slowly, I lay down on the satin sheets, and fell fast asleep.
* * * * *
‘Colin! What are you doing here? It’s the middle of the night.’
‘I’m so sorry to disturb you. Everyone was worried that you might need a doctor and they said they’d heard you call my name…’
‘I am fine, Colin, especially when I am with you. I don’t want to see a doctor. They’re always telling me to explore my past.’
I leaned across her. ‘I don’t believe in exploring the past. I believe in exploring the future.’
There was a long pause.
‘What is going to happen next?’
‘You mean between us?’
‘Oh, no,’ I leaned back quickly. ‘I didn’t mean…’
‘Do you love me, Colin?’
How is it that beautiful women can throw me completely off balance just when I think I am in control? Every time Marilyn looked at me I seemed to lose my grip on reality. I was certainly at her mercy, but was it love?
‘Yes, I love you,’ I said desperately, ‘but I love you like I love the wind, or the waves. I wouldn’t know how to love you as a person as I’d want to possess you. But I could never dream of possessing you. You are like a beautiful force of nature, forever out of reach.’
‘But I don’t want to be out of reach. I want to be touched. I want to be hugged. I want to be loved like an ordinary girl. What’s wrong with that?’
Marilyn sighed. Suddenly she looked very tired. I knew that I should tiptoe away and let her go back to sleep, but I could only gaze at this beautiful creature who seemed so innocent and yet wielded so much power.
‘Colin,’ she whispered, ‘I have to tell you something. There is a part of me that is very ugly. Something which comes from being so ambitious, I guess. Something to do with all the things I’ve done. I’ve slept with too many men and I’ve been unfaithful so often I couldn’t remember. But now I want people to respect me and to be faithful to me. I want to find someone to love me – ugliness and beauty and all. But people only see the glamour and fall in love with that, and then when they see the ugly side they run away. Don’t go away, Colin. I can’t stand it if you go too.’
‘All right, I’ll stay,’ I said. ‘On one condition – that you come into the studio on time tomorrow, surprise everybody, and show them you’re a great star. We’ll set the alarm for seven. That gives us four hours of sleep.’
‘Four hours! Aren’t we going to make love? Will that give us enough time?’
‘No! Oh, Marilyn, you are naughty.’
She turned off the light and lay down behind me. I could feel her stretching out towards the back of my neck, until her body ran the whole length of mine. I breathed out at last. ‘Goodnight,’ I said.
‘Sleep well.’
‘Mmmm,’ she said. ‘I will.’
TUESDAY 18 SEPTEMBERThe next thing I knew, an alarm clock was going off on the other side of the bed and sunlight was streaming into the room. To my amazement I could hear Marilyn rehearsing her lines in the bathroom.
* * * * *
It was not until she was back in her dressing room at the end of the day that I got a chance to spend a moment alone with her.
‘You were magnificent! You showed them all!’
‘I was scared. Will you come by again this evening? Please? After supper.’
I knew I was on thin ice with Greene and Olivier, but I could not resist those eyes. ‘OK. But I’ve got no excuse to spend the night this time.’
* * * * *
‘Colin! Colin!’ she cried.
I sat bolt upright in the darkness of her bedroom later that night and fumbled for the light.
‘Oh it hurts. The baby! I’m going to lose the baby.’
‘What baby?’
‘It was for Arthur. It was going to be a surprise. Then he would see that I could be a real wife and a real mother.’
Another spasm gripped Marilyn’s stomach. She was clearly in terrible pain.
* * * * *
‘It’s true,’ the doctor said. ‘She was pregnant. Not now, of course…’
The fairy story had ended, as dramatically as it had begun.
WEDNESDAY 19 SEPTEMBERAs I drove over to her house the next day I knew exactly what I had to say. ‘I’m sorry darling, but the time has come to say goodbye. Mr Miller is coming back this afternoon and though we both know we did nothing wrong, he might find that very hard to understand. He worships you, just as I do.’
POSTSCRIPTAnd so it was over. A brief flirtation between a young man and a beautiful married woman, who was as innocent as she was mature.
After Marilyn went back to America I never spoke to her again – but I did hear from her once. In 1961 I received a message that she’d tried to call me.
When I got the message, I hesitated. I was not sure that I could handle a distraught Marilyn. I knew I would not be able to help her.
In the end I did call, but no one answered and I am ashamed to say I was relieved. It was not that I had abandoned her, certainly not in my heart. It was just that by now I knew nobody could help her.
Poor Marilyn. Time had run out.
* * * * *
Marilyn Monroe was found dead at her home in Los Angeles in August 1962 aged 36. The autopsy recorded a verdict of death by ‘acute barbiturate poisoning’ resulting from ‘probable suicide’.
Click here for an exclusive audio clip from
My Week With Marilyn by Colin Clark, read by
Eddie RedmayneYou can also listen to an exclusive interview with Eddie Redmayne
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-2054116/Marilyn-Monroe-Colin-Clark-recalls-relationship-Hollywood-legend.htmlThe secret diaristColin Clark was the younger brother of the well-known diarist and
MP Alan Clark, and younger son of art historian
Kenneth, Lord Clark of
Civilisation fame. His first book, The Prince, the Showgirl and Me was published to great acclaim in 1995 and
My Week with Marilyn f ollowed five years later. After
The Prince and the Showgirl, Clark became personal assistant to Laurence Olivier and then had a career producing and directing arts documentaries. He was married three times and had one son. He died in 2002.
My Week With Marilyn will be republished by
HarperCollins on Tuesday, price £8.99 (also available as an e-book, £4.49, and audio download read by Eddie Redmayne, £13.99; for an exclusive audio clip go to
you.co.uk). To buy a copy of the book for £7.99 call the YOU Bookshop on 0843 382 1111 or visit
you-bookshop.co.uk The film will be in cinemas nationwide on 25 November.
