Author Topic: On Caregiving  (Read 69927 times)

Offline Front-Ranger

  • BetterMost Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 25,067
  • I'm marching for her!
Re: On Caregiving
« Reply #150 on: April 11, 2017, 09:11:37 pm »
Took my mom to the cardiologist today. He only sees her every six months, so he notices the changes more. He is reducing her dosage of coreg, which makes me hopeful. Over the years, he has reduced her medications more and more. I am of the opinion that these meds are more trouble than they're worth. 
May 2019 be better for us all.

Offline CellarDweller

  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • ********
  • Posts: 32,859
  • A city boy's mentality, with a cowboy's soul.
Re: On Caregiving
« Reply #151 on: April 11, 2017, 09:28:07 pm »
glad to hear that the meds were able to be reduced!


Tell him when l come up to him and ask to play the record, l'm gonna say: ''Voulez-vous jouer ce disque?''
'Voulez-vous, will you kiss my dick?'
Will you play my record? One-track mind!

Offline Jeff Wrangler

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 26,846
  • "He somebody you cowboy'd with?"
Re: On Caregiving
« Reply #152 on: April 12, 2017, 09:08:45 am »
My dad is beginning to complain that he thinks he's overmedicated.
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline Front-Ranger

  • BetterMost Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 25,067
  • I'm marching for her!
Re: On Caregiving
« Reply #153 on: April 12, 2017, 12:52:40 pm »
It would be very difficult for you to go to the doctor's with your dad and ask the questions, Jeff, but that's what I had to do with my mom. I also found it necessary to make a chart of all the meds she was taking, the dosages, and pictures of what they look like and she keeps a copy, I keep a copy and the home keeps a copy. I bring it to each doctors appointment and we go over it. I refer to it every time I order refills for her. I also check the side effects and keep links to the med descriptions in the chart. I don't use the literature that comes with the meds because it's too generic. The side effects are the same for almost any medication. Of course, you know all about these meds from your work and personal life, so that wouldn't apply to you, but for me, who hardly ever even takes a painkiller, it's crucial.
May 2019 be better for us all.

Offline Jeff Wrangler

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 26,846
  • "He somebody you cowboy'd with?"
Re: On Caregiving
« Reply #154 on: April 12, 2017, 01:31:55 pm »
My dad is beginning to complain that he thinks he's overmedicated.

Of course, he may only think he is.
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline serious crayons

  • BetterMost Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 18,208
Re: On Caregiving
« Reply #155 on: April 13, 2017, 10:29:27 am »
I'm currently working on a newspaper story about the financial burdens of caregivers. I've talked to a couple of people who wound up in dire straits because they had to step out of the workplace, either fully or part time, to care for aging parents, and the caregiving itself can be expensive.

I've also talked to experts who say that while every case is unique, often there are options people may have and actions they should take. But windows start to close. For example, if a parent has early stage Alzheimer's they can appoint a family member to have power of attorney. But if the parent is too far along it's too late for this, which greatly complicates matters.

If I could sum up their advice in one sentence: As soon as you can in the caregiving process, go see an elderlaw attorney and/or other eldercare specialist.




Offline CellarDweller

  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • ********
  • Posts: 32,859
  • A city boy's mentality, with a cowboy's soul.
Re: On Caregiving
« Reply #156 on: April 13, 2017, 11:12:55 am »
It would be very difficult for you to go to the doctor's with your dad and ask the questions, Jeff, but that's what I had to do with my mom. I also found it necessary to make a chart of all the meds she was taking, the dosages, and pictures of what they look like and she keeps a copy, I keep a copy and the home keeps a copy. I bring it to each doctors appointment and we go over it. I refer to it every time I order refills for her. I also check the side effects and keep links to the med descriptions in the chart. I don't use the literature that comes with the meds because it's too generic. The side effects are the same for almost any medication. Of course, you know all about these meds from your work and personal life, so that wouldn't apply to you, but for me, who hardly ever even takes a painkiller, it's crucial.


Lee's right, sometimes, you have  to be there.   My mom is pretty open, so I know how her health is, dad keeps that information close to the vest.  He would never discuss this.


Tell him when l come up to him and ask to play the record, l'm gonna say: ''Voulez-vous jouer ce disque?''
'Voulez-vous, will you kiss my dick?'
Will you play my record? One-track mind!

Offline brian

  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • ******
  • Posts: 1,429
Re: On Caregiving
« Reply #157 on: April 13, 2017, 05:03:40 pm »
My sister and I exchanged Enduring Powers of Attorney many many years ago even though neither of us have signs of dementia. The solicitor at the time did make it clear to us that we needed to be very trusting of each other.  There is a complication now that I live in NZ and all my physical assets are in NZ. I have not yet got round to do anything about that.

Offline Front-Ranger

  • BetterMost Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 25,067
  • I'm marching for her!
Re: On Caregiving
« Reply #158 on: May 07, 2017, 08:27:22 pm »
I'm a little worried about myself. Yesterday, I took my mom to see my son's baptism. I was worried to see her very feeble minded and when we came back, she had trouble with the most basic things, such as dressing and toileting. She also could not express her wants and needs. I came home and sent an email to my brother and sister detailing the problems. After that I carried about as normal, but after about an hour, I realized I was depressed about my mom. Very depressed. The evening was pretty much a bust. This morning I woke up and realized that I can't let myself get into such a state. I took Mom to church and she was much improved. Aside from not being able to express herself, she was functioning normally. But it's hard to shake off the scary feeling of being so depressed. I'm not usually that kind of person.
May 2019 be better for us all.

Offline serious crayons

  • BetterMost Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 18,208
Re: On Caregiving
« Reply #159 on: May 08, 2017, 10:28:59 am »
I'm a little worried about myself. Yesterday, I took my mom to see my son's baptism. I was worried to see her very feeble minded and when we came back, she had trouble with the most basic things, such as dressing and toileting. She also could not express her wants and needs. I came home and sent an email to my brother and sister detailing the problems. After that I carried about as normal, but after about an hour, I realized I was depressed about my mom. Very depressed. The evening was pretty much a bust. This morning I woke up and realized that I can't let myself get into such a state. I took Mom to church and she was much improved. Aside from not being able to express herself, she was functioning normally. But it's hard to shake off the scary feeling of being so depressed. I'm not usually that kind of person.

I think depression in that situation is a completely normal response. {{{{Lee}}}}