Author Topic: On Caregiving  (Read 69919 times)

Offline serious crayons

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Re: On Caregiving
« Reply #220 on: August 17, 2017, 12:15:39 pm »
Seriously, I have wondered about that. Given my age and state of health, and other reasons, I have more or less given up my idea of retiring to Wyoming.

I can think of plenty of other reasons not to move from Philadelphia to Wyoming when you retire. But if you moved to, say, Cheyene, I'm sure you'd be safe, medically speaking.

After college I took a job at a newspaper in Crookston, MN, a town of about 8,000. The nearest large-ish city, Grand Forks, ND, was 30-45 minutes away. I was in good health, but as far as I know Crookston had a perfectly good healthcare system. I think they'd be able to handle anything short of maybe some unusual urgent condition that would require a helicopter ride to a big city or the Mayo Clinic.




Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: On Caregiving
« Reply #221 on: August 17, 2017, 01:43:36 pm »
I can think of plenty of other reasons not to move from Philadelphia to Wyoming when you retire.

I can, too.

Quote
But if you moved to, say, Cheyenne, I'm sure you'd be safe, medically speaking.

You been a Cheyenne? They ain't got nuthin' there for boys like me.

Actually, I think there's no there, there.
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline Penthesilea

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Re: On Caregiving
« Reply #222 on: August 17, 2017, 02:34:58 pm »
Actually, I think there's no there, there.


I like the way you worded this. And true.

Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: On Caregiving
« Reply #223 on: August 17, 2017, 03:22:28 pm »
Actually, I think there's no there, there.

I like the way you worded this. And true.

Thank you, but I stole it from Gertrude Stein, the American writer and expatriot (lived in France, hung out with Picasso, Ernest Hemingway, and so forth). who said it about Oakland, California, where she grew up.  ;D

(Stein was also a lesbian, btw.)
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline CellarDweller

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Re: On Caregiving
« Reply #224 on: August 17, 2017, 06:52:37 pm »
You been a Cheyenne? They ain't got nuthin' there for boys like me.

:laugh:

*Waves to Chrissi!*   Good to see you!!!


Tell him when l come up to him and ask to play the record, l'm gonna say: ''Voulez-vous jouer ce disque?''
'Voulez-vous, will you kiss my dick?'
Will you play my record? One-track mind!

Online Front-Ranger

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Re: On Caregiving
« Reply #225 on: August 17, 2017, 11:38:12 pm »
Thanks for the comic relief. It was a roller coaster ride today. I received a call just as I was pulling up to Mom's rehab center, telling me that I would be required to pay $2K for two weeks worth of copay rehab, due on Sunday. That took the wind from my lungs and I told the person so. She then suggested that I look into alternatives "such as hospice". Said I, incredulously, "You're telling me to put my very much alive mother into hospice?" She then apologized. After thinking about it, I agreed to paying the $2K because it buys mom 2 weeks more of therapy. Later, the manager of Mom's assisted living home arrived to make her own assessment as to whether mom could come back or not after her rehab. They put mom through her paces. Stand up, turn around, put your hand here. Sit down. Stand up. Scoot forward. Lean to the right. Swivel. Lay down. Get up. One, two three. The manager whispered to me, "She's not ready yet" but said she would return in a week or two to make a new assessment. I feel that she's on our side. Hopes and prayers.
May 2019 be better for us all.

Offline Penthesilea

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Re: On Caregiving
« Reply #226 on: August 18, 2017, 02:43:20 am »
Thanks for the comic relief. It was a roller coaster ride today. I received a call just as I was pulling up to Mom's rehab center, telling me that I would be required to pay $2K for two weeks worth of copay rehab, due on Sunday. That took the wind from my lungs and I told the person so. She then suggested that I look into alternatives "such as hospice". Said I, incredulously, "You're telling me to put my very much alive mother into hospice?" She then apologized. After thinking about it, I agreed to paying the $2K because it buys mom 2 weeks more of therapy. Later, the manager of Mom's assisted living home arrived to make her own assessment as to whether mom could come back or not after her rehab. They put mom through her paces. Stand up, turn around, put your hand here. Sit down. Stand up. Scoot forward. Lean to the right. Swivel. Lay down. Get up. One, two three. The manager whispered to me, "She's not ready yet" but said she would return in a week or two to make a new assessment. I feel that she's on our side. Hopes and prayers.


Gosh, what a dreadful situation. I really can't imagine all the things you have to do and pay for yourself. And additionally you have to hope that they take back your mom at all! :o
I just thought how this situation would play out over here. Of course your health insurance would pay for rehab.
We also have assisted living. They also don't take in people who have a high degree of dependence when you try to find a place. But once you're there and your condition worsens you can probably stay there for the rest of your life. Or at the very least, they would take you back after hospital/rehab as long as it takes to find another, more fitting place.

At the beginning of her dementia, my mother was still very fit and loved to hike. The social worker at the psychiatric hospital where she was diagnosed had a long talk with both of us separately about her wishes/preferences/lifestyle/etc. And after that started looking for a fitting place for my mother. Assisted living wasn't an option because she managed to escape the closed ward (by climbing like a cat onto a shed, into a tree and down the tree on the other side of the fence!). Even a "regular" nursery would not have been possible, and the closed wards of nursery homes are mostly just one or more closed off corridors. She would have wandered up and down those corridors like a captured tiger.

Anyway, the social worker found a great place for her. Most people there weren't old, but mentally ill and needed to be in a closed off space. The facility was a former castle with gardens that was closed off (with high fences and walls, no trees close to the fence ;D) to the outside, but totally open once you're in. People could stroll around in the gardens or courtyard and several main and side buildings. There were also lots of different activities and my mother was even able to go on a hiking vacation in Italy with a group. They also had a ward for people with high dependence. So while they didn't take in people with a high need of bodily care to begin with, they also didn't have to kick out people once they got older/more dependent.

Offline CellarDweller

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Re: On Caregiving
« Reply #227 on: August 18, 2017, 06:17:12 pm »
Thanks for the comic relief. It was a roller coaster ride today. I received a call just as I was pulling up to Mom's rehab center, telling me that I would be required to pay $2K for two weeks worth of copay rehab, due on Sunday. That took the wind from my lungs and I told the person so. She then suggested that I look into alternatives "such as hospice". Said I, incredulously, "You're telling me to put my very much alive mother into hospice?" She then apologized.


That's a hell of a thing to say to someone over the phone.


Tell him when l come up to him and ask to play the record, l'm gonna say: ''Voulez-vous jouer ce disque?''
'Voulez-vous, will you kiss my dick?'
Will you play my record? One-track mind!

Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: On Caregiving
« Reply #228 on: August 18, 2017, 07:55:34 pm »
Assisted living wasn't an option because she managed to escape the closed ward (by climbing like a cat onto a shed, into a tree and down the tree on the other side of the fence!).

No wonder you're able to handle hiking around the Wyoming mountains! It must run in the family!  :laugh:
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

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Re: On Caregiving
« Reply #229 on: August 18, 2017, 10:35:58 pm »
As if on cue, Mom has had an emergency starting last night. She began upchucking about midnight and continued throughout the morning. I arrived at 12:25 to sit with her at lunch and found her in her bed, sleeping. I got the update...nobody called me. I went back at supper time. She was up in her wheelchair, but very weak. Later, she began vomiting again. A lot of green stuff. It reminded me of when my cat eats grass and then. . . . The staff came in about 6 pm and said, well maybe her diet needs to be changed. But these things lead to a huge change in mental and physical capacity. I'm kicking myself for going to a book shop event last night instead of supervising her eating.
May 2019 be better for us all.