So, I'm jumping in with a puzzle I've been in with my best friend from my Pittsburgh years. She and her husband were my very close best friends for almost the whole time that I lived in Pittsburgh. We often spent Thanksgivings together, New Years, etc. hung out all the time. She was a co-worker and helped me tremendously when I was job hunting - and as is often the case is the main one I'm friends with of the pair... I essentially became friends with her husband through her. And, I haven't had anything remotely like a falling out with either one of them. And we still exchange gifts through the mail now that I've moved.
But, around the time that I moved, their relationship began for fall apart and they are going through a long rough break up though they are still living in the same house (it seems unhappily, but mostly for financial reasons). Her father also died not long before I moved, and her elderly mother now lives with them. Also, things have continued to be very rough at the museum where we both worked. So, she's been under a lot of stress in various ways for the past couple of years.
When I first moved, we kept in good touch through texts, phone calles, facebook messages, etc. quite regularly. But over the months it's been harder and harder to get a hold of her. She can go many weeks before replying to simple texts or answering a voicemail. I am actually quite worried about her and wish she would talk to me - I keep feeling like I should be doing something to help her with her stress. And at the same time, I'm getting to the point of being very frustrated at not being able to get in touch very easily anymore - trying not to take it personally. Often she will say, "I'm sorry I've been busy" when she gets in touch after a long lapse.
I guess I'm looking for advice about the best way to be a supportive friend in this kind of situation. And, it some ways I don't know how to interpret her standoff-ishness. I don't want the friendship to drift away or become distant... but it's hard when it's difficult to reach her!
Her husband is fairly active on Facebook so I feel like I'm in better touch with him. Though I don't feel comfortable really asking him how she's doing since things are so difficult between them. Awkward!