On Caregiving

[CellarDweller]

Either way, glad to see she's doing better!

[serious crayons]

A friend of mine just learned that her older dog has cancer. That's sad, but what's perhaps sadder is that she has another, younger dog, and the two of them are extremely close. The two dogs are Charlie's best friends, though of course their own best friends are each other. They sleep on top of each other and everything.

For my human friend, losing the dog will be hard but not unexpected. For her other dog, though, I would think it would be baffling and tragic.

Even Charlie would probably notice Riley's absence and be sad.

Sometimes I wish I could deal with another dog (financially or in a practical sense, I can't) so Charlie would have a playmate and not get bored and lonely when I'm at work. But the downside is a scenario like this.

[Jeff Wrangler]

For my human friend, losing the dog will be hard but not unexpected. For her other dog, though, I would think it would be baffling and tragic.

It probably will be. My cousin Mike had two dogs, and when the older one died, the younger one wandered around the house looking for his buddy. The survivor made a new friend as soon as Mike got another dog to replace the deceased--although, of course, you can never replace a deceased pet.

[CellarDweller]

THere's a website that discusses the benefits of having other pets in the room for home euthanasia.

http://peacefulendings.net/pets-present-euthanasia/

[serious crayons]

It probably will be. My cousin Mike had two dogs, and when the older one died, the younger one wandered around the house looking for his buddy. The survivor made a new friend as soon as Mike got another dog to replace the deceased--although, of course, you can never replace a deceased pet.

Yes, I have a friend who's done that -- kind of braided her dogs, so that when one dies she gets a new one and always has two. But what if my friend with the sick older dog doesn't want a new second dog?

Luckily, she learned that the cancer hasn't spread, so her dog is undergoing surgery. That's better news, though I hate to imagine what that will cost. 

[Jeff Wrangler]

Yes, I have a friend who's done that -- kind of braided her dogs, so that when one dies she gets a new one and always has two. But what if my friend with the sick older dog doesn't want a new second dog?

Then I guess she'll just have to deal with her surviving dog's grief as well as her own. 

[serious crayons]

Then I guess she'll just have to deal with her surviving dog's grief as well as her own. 

Right. And I think dog grief is worse. People expect to outlive their dogs. When Riley dies, my friend will know it's coming, will possibly even make the decision herself.

But dogs have no expectation (as far as we know) of death and its inevitability.

So when Riley suddenly isn't there, Dukey won't know where he's gone, or if he's coming back. He'll not only be seriously grieving, but he'll be eternally bewildered -- or at least until he forgets, assuming he eventually does -- by Riley's disappearance.

Luckily, for the moment Riley is home and recuperating from surgery, annoyed that he has to have one of those cones around his neck.

[CellarDweller]

Gld to hear he's recupping!

[Jeff Wrangler]

Luckily, for the moment Riley is home and recuperating from surgery, annoyed that he has to have one of those cones around his neck.

I've heard them called "Elizabethan collars," but I don't know if that's the real name for them.

[Front-Ranger]

In my neck of the woods, they're called "the cone of shame".

An interesting thing happened tonight. My brother and his wife are in town to celebrate my mom's 89th birthday. Unfortunately, most times when they visit everything turns upside down in a way. It's the first day of their visit but things have started going south already. I invited Mom and them to dinner at my house and everything was going well until at 7:30-ish, I advised them to start heading out because "in an hour or two, it's going to start freezing and will get icy." Maybe I should have drawn them away from Mom's hearing before I said that. Everyone bundled up and started up the stairs. There are about eight steps up from my house to street level. My brother held Mom's arm and she had her cane. I went behind them but shone the flashlight on the ground in front of them. My brother's wife went ahead. At the top of the steps, she said, "Okay, this is completely iced over." We came on and there was no ice, but my mom stiffened up and had to be coaxed up the last few steps. When she got into the car, she said, "This is horrible." It completely negated the whole day for me, although I realize that just isn't fair.