606,561 Posts in 14,656 Topics by 2,635 Residents
Latest Member: Bestkets
BetterMost, Wyoming & Brokeback Mountain Forum
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?
July 26, 2017, 12:24:44 am

Login with username, password and session length
Search:     Advanced search
*
Home Help Login Register
BetterMost, Wyoming & Brokeback Mountain Forum  |  Our BetterMost Community  |  BetterMost People (Moderators: Kelda, Kerry)  |  Topic: On Caregiving 0 Residents and 4 Guests are viewing this topic. « previous next »
Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 [17]  All Go Down Print
Author Topic: On Caregiving  (Read 23864 times)
CellarDweller
The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 29,865


A city boy's mentality, with a cowboy's soul.




Ignore
« Reply #160 on: May 08, 2017, 02:52:04 pm »

Katherine is right.  No one wants to see a parent go through this.
Logged



Tell him when l come up to him and ask to play the record, l'm gonna say: ''Voulez-vous jouer ce disque?''
'Voulez-vous, will you kiss my dick?'
Will you play my record? One-track mind!
brian
BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1,172





Ignore
« Reply #161 on: May 08, 2017, 02:56:49 pm »

I think depression in that situation is a completely normal response. {{{{Lee}}}}

I agree. I would be more worried if you did not feel a bit depressed. Occasional depression based on real events is a normal part of the human psyche. It is continual feeling depressed or depression based on no reason that is clinical. Even the latter should not cause alarm if not too prolonged as sometimes we cannot put a finger on the actual cause of a feeling of depression.
Logged
Front-Ranger
BetterMost Moderator
The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 23,184


I'm marching for her!




Ignore
« Reply #162 on: June 10, 2017, 09:40:29 pm »

Quote
I feel completely exhausted and in despair about her situation, and worry that if I had a gun, I would put it to her head and then my head!

I'm sorry you're having to go through this, but that's a less than optimal solution.

And I'm sorry that your siblings seem so unhelpful. Yesterday I had dinner with a friend whose mother is 90-something and has had a broken pelvis and other health issues (not cognitive, though) and needed a lot of help. My friend and her mother both live in Minneapolis, and her children are all adults, so she moved into her mom's apartment and took care of her for quite a while. But her siblings, one of whom lives in Northern Minnesota and the other in Massachusetts, frequently travel here to pitch in.

Refresh my memory -- is your mom in assisted living? If so, you can have them professionally assess her to see what other assistance she may need. A housekeeper, a memory-care unit ... whatever. You of course have to pay for any additional services or care. But that's what they're there for.

« Last Edit: June 11, 2017, 01:33:36 pm by serious crayons » Logged

Come in, she said
I'll give ya shelter from the storm
Jeff Wrangler
BetterMost Supporter!
The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 24,869


He somebody you cowboy'd with?




Ignore
« Reply #163 on: June 10, 2017, 10:11:51 pm »

I'm so sorry to learn all this.

It sounds as though the time may have come when she needs a higher level of care.

How could the people who run the place where she lives allow her apartment to get in that condition?
« Last Edit: June 11, 2017, 02:56:38 pm by Jeff Wrangler » Logged

"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens
serious crayons
BetterMost Moderator
The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 16,656





Ignore
« Reply #164 on: June 11, 2017, 01:40:49 pm »

Lee, I'm sorry I accidentally modified rather than quoted your earlier, long and important post. I may need some extra care myself. Here it is, in its entirety:
    
Quote
Re: On Caregiving
« Reply #162 on: Yesterday at 07:40:29 pm »
   
Reply with quote Modify message Remove message Split Topic
I sent this message to my siblings several hours ago, and I have not heard anything back.

Saturday morning, I went to try again to pick up a urine sample. Mom wasn’t in her room so I searched all over for the sample bottle but couldn’t find it. She had left out some containers of yogurt so I put them back in the fridge. Several times during the day I tried to call her but she wasn’t answering her phone.
 

Finally around 2pm I received a call from her phone. It was the lady at the front desk, who said Mom had heard my voice and wondered where I was there at the home. She handed the phone over to Mom and, as I talked to her, I figured out that, by “voice” she meant “ringtone”. She was hearing the phone ring when I called her, but she didn’t know what it was or how to answer it.I rushed over.

I asked mom why she was carrying around 3 remotes and a phone in the pocket below the seat of her walker. She said, “to keep them together.” I tried to explain to her that 2 of the remotes were not needed (and I put them away where hopefully she wouldn’t find them) and that the third one should bvb vbe used with her TV, and that the phone was separate. Then, I tried to get her to use her phone. I said, Mom, I’m going to call you on your phone and I want you to pick it up, open it, and answer.” I called her, the phone rang, and she just sat there looking at me. I said things like, “I hope Mom picks up her phone”. “Mom, pick it up.” Etc. She just blankly looked at me. I said, “mom, look at your phone! Pick it up!” and she instead looked at her TV remote or the call button necklace around her neck. Finally, I got her to pick up her phone after 4 tries.

I found her room in disarray. I stepped on something in the living room, it turned out to be the spring that goes in her toilet paper dispenser. After a lot of searching I found the other two parts of the dispenser, one on the table, and one in her chair. I put it all back together and put it back in the bathroom with a roll of toilet paper. Towels and washcloths, most of them dirty and wet, were strewn about the place. I put them all in the dirty clothes basket. I put wet wads of toilet paper in the trash. Trash cans were placed in odd places, and one was in the kitchen area, with unusual things in it like placemats and clothing. There were clothing items heaped on it. I also found items of clothing on the closet floor, in all the kitchen cabinets, thrown over chairs, and in the bathroom. So many items of clothing! With great difficulty, I figured out which was dirty and needed to go in the laundry basket and which was clean and needed to be hung up.


Since her TV wasn’t working, I led Mom out into the lobby area outside her door where some TVs have recently been installed. I turned the channel to the Rifleman which Mom said she likes. I told her to sit down on one of the comfy chairs. She started to sit down on top of the remote which was lying on the table in between the comfy chairs. I said, “Mom don’t sit down on the table, that wouldn’t be comfortable!” She said that she would sit down on the cabinet that is just under the TV. I finally got her to sit down on a chair and made sure that she was able to get up again. That’s where I left her. I feel completely exhausted and in despair about her situation, and worry that if I had a gun, I would put it to her head and then my head!

Logged
Front-Ranger
BetterMost Moderator
The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 23,184


I'm marching for her!




Ignore
« Reply #165 on: June 12, 2017, 01:14:10 pm »

No problemo. I have almost every post I make in my "Captain's Log" for 2017. It's 38 pages long already!

Well I did one thing right, I think. I changed the ringtone on Mom's phone to be an old-fashioned BRIIIING BRIIIING. That was what finally got through her head that that little black object was a phone!
Logged

Come in, she said
I'll give ya shelter from the storm
CellarDweller
The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 29,865


A city boy's mentality, with a cowboy's soul.




Ignore
« Reply #166 on: June 12, 2017, 10:11:28 pm »

How could the people who run the place where she lives allow her apartment to get in that condition?

This is a good question.  Isn't there someone who would monitor this?
Logged



Tell him when l come up to him and ask to play the record, l'm gonna say: ''Voulez-vous jouer ce disque?''
'Voulez-vous, will you kiss my dick?'
Will you play my record? One-track mind!
Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 [17]  All Go Up Print 
BetterMost, Wyoming & Brokeback Mountain Forum  |  Our BetterMost Community  |  BetterMost People (Moderators: Kelda, Kerry)  |  Topic: On Caregiving « previous next »
Jump to:  

Listen to Brokeback Mountain Radio 1
Listen to Brokeback Mountain Radio 1



Help keep this site operating by donating.


 
Web bettermost.net
Image courtesy of 'AuroraLucis'


No more beans.  I'm sick of beans.

Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2015, Simple Machines