Another Porter fave from "Kiss Me, Kate":
"Why Can't You Behave?" I love the line "If the Harris pat means a Paris hat".
Oh, Bill,
Why can't you behave,
Why can't you behave?
How in hell can you be jealous
When you know, baby, I'm your slave?
I'm just mad for you,
And I'll always be,
But naturally
If a custom-tailored vet
Asks me out for something wet,
When the vet begins to pet, I cry 'Hooray!'
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
I enjoy a tender pass
By the boss of Boston, Mass.,
Though his pass is middle-class and notta Backa Bay.
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
There's a madman known as Mack
Who is planning to attack,
If his mad attack means a Cadillac, okay!
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion,
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
I've been asked to have a meal
By a big tycoon in steel,
If the meal includes a deal, accept I may.
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
I could never curl my lip
To a dazzlin' diamond clip,
Though the clip meant 'let 'er rip,' I'd not say 'Nay!'
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
There's an oil man known as Tex
Who is keen to give me checks.
And his checks, I fear, means that sex is here to stay.
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
There's a wealthy Hindu priest
Who's a wolf, to say the least,
When the priest goes too far east, I also stray.
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
There's a lush from Portland, Ore.,
Who is rich, but sich a bore,
When the bore falls on the floor, I let him lay
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
Mister Harris, plutocrat,
Wants to give my cheek a pat,
If the Harris pat
Means a Paris hat,
Bebe, Oo-la-la!
Mais, je suis toujours fidele, darlin', in my fashion,
Oui, je suis toujours fidele, darlin' in my way.
From Ohio Mister Thorn
Calls me up from night 'til morn,
Mister Thorn once cornered corn and that ain't hay.
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
From Milwaukee Mister Fritz
Often moves me to the Ritz,
Mister Fritz is full of Schlitz and full of play.
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
Mister Gable, I mean Clark,
Wants me on his boat to park,
If the Gable boat means a sable coat,
Anchors aweigh!
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.