Author Topic: A collection of clever rhymes  (Read 794 times)

Offline Front-Ranger

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A collection of clever rhymes
« on: October 05, 2021, 10:19:47 am »
Please add to this collection! For starters, I was reading about the new musical "Six" on Broadway about King Henry VIII's wives, and this was a lyric: "My loyalty is to the Vatican/So if you try to dump me, you won?t try that again." Sung by Catherine of Aragon.

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #1 on: October 05, 2021, 11:10:15 am »
And from the same article, Anne of Cleves sings: ?Now I?m not saying I?m a gold digger, but check my prenup and go figure.?

Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #2 on: October 05, 2021, 12:01:48 pm »
What a wonderful idea!

Some of the words here may be a stretch, so you may feel this doesn't count, but the rhyming lyrics to "Brush Up Your Shakespeare," by Cole Porter, from the musical Kiss Me, Kate, are classic.

https://www.themusicallyrics.com/c/530-cole-porter-lyrics/7643-brush-up-your-shakespeare-lyrics.html

(Porter would probably have written the line as "Now I'm not sayin' I'm a gold digger, but check my prenup and go figger."   ;D )
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline southendmd

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #3 on: October 05, 2021, 12:19:25 pm »
Great thread idea!  Years ago, I started a thread on Porter's "You're the Top" and also "Let's Do It". 

Besides Porter, I've always admired Stephen Schwartz's lyrics.  Here are the lyrics to "Popular" from the show "Wicked".  I've  highlighted some of the fun, and sometimes internal, rhymes.


Whenever I see someone less fortunate than I
(And let's face it, who isn't less fortunate than I?)
My tender heart tends to start to bleed
And when someone needs a makeover
I simply have to take over
I know I know exactly what they need
And even in your case
Though it's the toughest case I've yet to face,
Don't worry, I'm determined to succeed
Follow my lead, and yes, indeed, you will be...

Popular!
You're gonna be popular!
I'll teach you the proper ploys
When you talk to boys
Little ways to flirt and flounce
Oooh! I'll show you what shoes to wear
How to fix your hair
Everything that really counts to be...

Popular!
I'll help you be popular!
You'll hang with the right cohorts
You'll be good at sports
Know the slang you've got to know
So let's start
'Cause you've got an awfully long way to go...
Don't be offended by my frank analysis
Think of it as personality dialysis
Now that I've chosen to become a pal, a sister and adviser
There's nobody wiser
Not when it comes to...

Popular
I know about popular
And with an assist from me
To be who you'll be
Instead of dreary, who you were... well, are
There's nothing that can stop you
From becoming popu-ler... lar...
La la, la la!
We're gonna make you pop-u-lar...

When I see depressing creatures
With unprepossessing features
I remind them on their own behalf to think of
Celebrated heads of state
Or 'specially great communicators
Did they have brains or knowledge?
Don't make me laugh!
They were popular!
Please, it's all about popular!
It's not about aptitude
It's the way you're viewed
So it's very shrewd to be
Very, very popular like me!

Why, Miss Elphaba, look at you. You're beautiful!
And though you protest
Your disinterest
I know clandestinely
You're gonna grin and bear it
Your new found popularity
Ohh!
La la, la la!
You'll be popular
Just not quite as popular as me!


Offline southendmd

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #4 on: October 05, 2021, 12:32:59 pm »
Here's another, "If You Hadn't But You Did" from "Two on the Aisle" (1951) by Comden, Green and Styne: 

(slow tempo)
There he goes as usual, my man
Breaking my foolish heart
I really don't know what to do about him
I've told myself I've got to do without him
There he goes as usual, my man
Tearing my heart apart
He's made my life a mess
I've got to do this I guess
Goodbye Joe, from here I kiss you
Goodbye Joe, I hope I don't miss you

(fast tempo)
If you had been on the square
And had treated me fair
And we'd not had a tiff
If you had not said
I should go and jump right off
The nearest cliff

If you had stayed off the make
And you never had taken
To coming home stiff
If I had not smelled perfume
With a nasty unfamiliar whiff
I'm gonna miss you, baby
Things could've been teriff
Ah, what's the diff?

If you had not had the cheek
To stay out for a week
Saying, "Back in a jiff"
If you were not such a two-timing guy
If you weren't
If you hadn't
If you didn't
If you weren't
If you hadn't
If you didn't
But you have
And you were
And you went
And you did
And so goodbye

If I had not seen you
Take Geraldine on the lake
In your flat-bottomed skiff
If you were not out with Sue
With your arms around her bare midriff
If I had not seen you pen sexy letters
To Gwen in your own hieroglyph
If you had not left me home
When I had two seats for "South Pacif"

I'm gonna miss you, baby
You were too darn prolif
Ah, what's the diff?
If you were not such a hound
Who when game was around
Always picked up the sniff
If you were not such a two-timing guy

If you weren't
If you hadn't
If you didn't
If you weren't
If you hadn't
If you didn't
But you were
And you have
And you went
And you did
And so, goodbye

If when I asked where you'd been
You had not cliffed my chin
With a beautiful biff
Hey, if I had not always found purple
Lipstick on your handkerchief
If you had not told me lies
And then looked in my eyes
With a smile beautif
If when I caught you with Kate
You had not said, "It's of no signif"

I'm gonna miss you, baby
And I could get specif
Ah, what's the diff?
If the best years of my life
Weren't spent as your wife
With no marriage certif
If you were not such a two-timing guy

If you weren't
If you hadn't
If you didn't
If you weren't
If you hadn't
If you didn't
But you had
And then we coulda
And you didn't
Though you shoulda
If you didn't
If you weren't
If you hadn't
If you didn't
But you were
And you have
And you went
And you did
And so goodbye
See ya later, Joe

Kristin (and friend):


And a very strange version with Perry Como and Carol Channing:

Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #5 on: October 05, 2021, 01:36:36 pm »
I've always liked this one:

I'm a brass band,
I'm a harpsichord;
I'm a clarinet!
I'm the Philadelphia Orchestra,
I'm the Modern Jazz Quartet!
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline southendmd

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #6 on: October 05, 2021, 02:09:29 pm »
From City of Angels:


And come to think of it
Your writing always mirrors our relationship
With dangers cropping up
And sweet young strangers popping up like weeds
So if you wish official pardoning
You better do a little gardening
Ya know ya needn't be so gen'rous with your seeds
Your fertile lies don't fertilize
It needs work
« Last Edit: October 15, 2021, 01:20:38 pm by southendmd »

Offline southendmd

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #7 on: October 05, 2021, 02:10:29 pm »
From "The Producers":

"There'll be gala opening nights again
You'll see my name in lights again
I'll go from dark to brights again
My spirits high as kites again
I'll never suffer slights again
I'll taste those sweet delights again
No plethora of plights again
No blossoming of blights again
No frantic fits or frights again
Fame is in my sights again
I'll take those fancy flights again
I'm gonna scale the heights again!"

Offline southendmd

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #8 on: October 05, 2021, 02:15:51 pm »
From Sondheim's "A Little Night Music":


Now, insofar as approaching it,
What would be festive
But have its effect?
Now, there are two ways of broaching it:
A, the suggestive,
And B, the direct.
Say
That I settle on B, to wit,
A charmingly
Lecherous mood,
A,
I could put on my nightshirt or sit
Disarmingly,
B, in the nude.
That might be effective;
My body's all right--
But not in perspective
And not in the light.
I'm bound to be chilly
And feel a buffoon,
But nightshirts are silly
In mid-afternoon.
Which leaves the suggestive,
But how to proceed?
Although she gets restive,
Perhaps I could read.
In view of her penchant
For something romantic,
De Sade is to trenchant
And Dickens too frantic,
And Stendhal would ruin
The plan of attack,
As there isn't much blue in
"The Red and the Black."
De Maupassant's candour
Would cause her dismay,
The Brontes are grander
But not very gay,
Her taste is much blander,
I'm sorry to say,
But is Hans Christian Ander-
Sen ever risque?
Which eliminates A...

Offline southendmd

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #9 on: October 05, 2021, 02:18:40 pm »
Sorry, I'm really into this.  This is from "Chess":


Bangkok, Oriental setting
And the city don't know that the city is getting
The cr?me de la cr?me of the chess world
In a show with everything but Yul Brynner
Time flies, doesn't seem a minute
Since the Tyrolean spa had the chess boys in it
All change, don't you know that
When you play at this level there's no ordinary venue?
It's Iceland, or the Philippines, or Hastings, or
Or this place!
One night in Bangkok, and the world's your oyster
The bars are temples, but the pearls ain't free
You'll find a god in every golden cloister
And if you're lucky then the god's a she
I can feel an angel sliding up to me
One town's very like another
When your head's down over your pieces, brother
(It's a drag, it's a bore, it's really such a pity
To be looking at the board, not looking at the city)
Whaddya mean? Ya seen one crowded, polluted, stinking town
(Tea, girls, warm, sweet
Some are set up in the Somerset Maugham suite)

Get Thai'd! You're talking to a tourist
Whose every move's among the purest
I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine
One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One night in Bangkok, and the tough guys tumble
Can't be too careful with your company
I can feel the devil walking next to me
Siam's gonna be the witness
To the ultimate test of cerebral fitness
This grips me more than would a muddy old river
Or reclining Buddha
And thank God I'm only watching the game, controlling it
I don't see you guys rating
The kind of mate I'm contemplating
I'd let you watch, I would invite you
But the queens we use would not excite you
So you better go back to your bars, your temples, your massage parlours
One night in Bangkok, and the world's your oyster
The bars are temples, but the pearls ain't free
You'll find a god in every golden cloister
A little flesh, a little history
I can feel an angel sliding up to me
One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble
Can't be too careful with your company
I can feel the devil walking next to me

Offline southendmd

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #10 on: October 05, 2021, 02:25:07 pm »
From Sondheim's "Follies":


From the depths of her interior
Were fears she was inferior
And something even eerier
But no one dared to query her
Superior
Exterior.

(And also this:)


Lucy is juicy
But terribly drab.
Jessie is dressy
But cold as a slab.
Lucy wants to be dressy.
Jessie wants to be juicy.
Lucy wants to be Jessie
And Jessie Lucy.
You see, Jessie is racy
But hard as a rock.
Lucy is lacy
But dull as a smock.
Jessie wants to be lacy,
Lucy wants to be Jessie.
That's the sorrowful precis.
It's very messy.
Poor sad souls,
Itching to be switching roles.
Lucy wants to do what Jessie does,
Jessie want: to be what Lucy was.

Offline southendmd

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #11 on: October 05, 2021, 02:39:38 pm »
From David Yazbek's "Dirty  Rotten Scoundrels":


Would ya look at that coffered
ceiling,
Look at that chandelier.
Excuse me but how I'm feeling
IS a hundred-proof.
I could raise the roof.
I'm so happy to be here.
I've been kind of missing
Mom and Daddy,
Sort of in a spin since Cinncinatti.
The morning flight, a major bore
But then they open the cabin door
And zut alors-
Here I am!

Lord knows I had the will
And the resources
But Mom and Dad kept saying
"Hold your horses."
I guess those ponies couldn't wait-
Pardon me folks but
They've left the gate
I may be late, but
Here I am!

Ah,
The way to be, to me, is French
The way to say "La Vie" is French
So here I am, Beaumont Sur Mer, a
Big two weeks on the Rivier-a.
If I'm only dreaming
Please don't wake me.
Let the summer sun
And Breezes take me.
Excuse me if I seem jejune,
I promise I'll find my marbles soon

But everywhere I look
It's like a scene from a book.
Open the book and
Here I am!

I mean
The air is French
That chair is French
This nice sincere Sancerre is French
The skies are French
The pies are French
Those guys are French
These fries are French!
Pardon me if I
Fly off the handle,
No place else on earth
Can hold a candle

So, Veni Vidi Vici, folks
Let's face it,
Je suis ici, folks!

Excusez-moi
If i spout-
I'm letting my
Je n'sais quoi out.
I'm sorry to shout but
Here I am!


Offline serious crayons

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #12 on: October 05, 2021, 03:23:54 pm »
And from the same article, Anne of Cleves sings: ?Now I?m not saying I?m a gold digger, but check my prenup and go figure.?

Kanye West, 2005:

Now, I ain't sayin' she a gold digger
(When I'm in need) But she ain't messin' with no broke n***as




Offline serious crayons

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #13 on: October 05, 2021, 03:45:48 pm »
When I took my son out for his birthday dinner last week he wanted to get churros for dessert and we sang the
blue-highlighted part below:

Gone, 2005

OTIS REDDING SAMPLE
Wished I had told, was the only one (uh-oh)
But it's too late, it's too late
She's gone


KANYE WEST
You sweat her, and I ain't talkin' 'bout a Coogi
You a big L, and I ain't talkin 'bout Cool J
See me at the airport, at least twenty Louis
Treat me like the Prince and this my sweet brother Numpsay
Brother Numpsay! Groupies sound too choosy
Take 'em to the show and talk all through the movies
Says she want diamonds, I took her to Ruby Tuesdays
If we up in Friday's, I still have it my way

Too late, we gone, we strivin' home
Gone, I ride on chrome
It's too late

Y'all don't want no prob' from me
What you rappers could get is a job from me
Maybe you could be my intern, and in turn
I'll show you how I cook up summer, in the winter
Aaron love the raw dog, when will he learn
Caught somethin' on the Usher tour he had to "Let it Burn"
Plus he already got three chil'run
Arguin' over babysitters like, "Bitch, it's yo' turn!"
Damn 'Ye, it'd be stupid to ditch you
Even your superficial raps is super official
Are-are-are-Roc pastel with Gucci on
With TV's in the ride, throw a movie on
Said he couldn't rap now he at the top with doobie long
Cause the dookie's on any song that they threw me on, gone

We strivin' home, gone
I ride on chrome
We strivin' home, gone
Killa, I ride on chrome



CAM'RON
Knock knock, who's there
Killa Cam, Killa who
Killa Cam, hustler, grinder, gorilla true
Oh my chinchilla blue, blue you ever dealt with a dealer
Well here's the deal ma we goin' to the dealer
No concealin', no ceiling I don't need a roof
Act up, get out, I don't need you poof
Poof, be gone, damn tough luck dag
Dag, niggas still doin' puff puff pass
Pull the truck up fast and I tell 'em
Hey, back in a touched up Jag, shit
Y'all niggas want Killa Cam, cerebellum
An old man just goin' tell 'em (Too late, he, gone)
Then I see how y'all gonna react when I'm (Gone)
My last girl want me back then I'm on
Fine stay, you got the grind hey
Came back, read what the sign say (Too late, he, gone)
Yes I know you want to see my demise
Yeah you church boy actin' like a thief in disguise
Ain't leavin' my side, see the greed in my eyes
Ask Abby y'all hustle for a week to the Chi, shit
And that ain't leavin' alive, please believe me
Gave Weezy a piece of the pie, and
You can ask George or Regina
The whole Westside I explore with the Beemer now
We strivin' home, I ride on chrome
Listen homeboy move on
That's your best bet, why's that


CONSEQUENCE
I been pourin' out some liquor for the fact that my pal's gone
And tryin' to help his momma with the fact that her child gone
And since we used to bubble like a tub full of Calgon
Guess it's only right that I should help her from now on
But since they got a foul on, what coulda' gone wrong
Now they askin' Cons, how long has this gone on
And maybe all this money mighta' gone to my head
Cause they got me thinkin' money mighta' gone to the feds
So I ain't goin' to the dread, but he'll go on up to bed
And when I came the next mornin' he was gone with my bread
And with that bein' said, I had gone on my instincts
And gone to the spots where they go to get mixed drinks
But lookin' back now shoulda' gone to the crib
And rented "Gone With the Wind, " cause I'da gone about 10
But I had gone with my friend, and we had gone to the bar
And heard a nigga talkin shit so I had gone to the car
And now the judge is tellin' me that I had gone too far
And now we gone for 20 years, doin' time behind bars
And since I gone to a cell for some petty crimes
I guess I gone to the well one too many times, cause I'm gone


KANYE WEST
I'm
Ahead of my time, sometimes years out
So the powers that be won't let me get my ideas out
And that make me want to get my advance out
And move to Oklahoma and just live at my Aunt's house
Yeah, I romance the thought of leavin' it all behind
Kanye step away from the limelight, like, when I was on the grind
In the "One, Nine, Nine, Nine"
Before, model chicks was bendin' over or
Dealerships asked me Benz or Rover, man
If I could just get one beat on Hova
We could get up off this cheap-ass sofa
What the summer of the Chi got to offer an eighteen year old
Sell drugs or get a job, you gotta play gyro
My dog worked at Taco Bell, hooked us up plural
Fired a week later the manager count the churros
Sometimes I can't believe it when I look up in the mirror
How we out in Europe, spendin' Euros
They claim you never know what you got 'til it's gone
I know I got it, I don't know what y'all on

I'mma open up a store for aspiring MC's
Won't sell 'em no dream, but the inspiration is free
But if they ever flip sides like Anakin
You'll sell everything includin' the mannequin
They got a new bitch, now you Jennifer Aniston
Hold on I'll handle it, don't start panickin', stay calm
Shorty's at the door 'cause they need more
Inspiration for they life, they souls, and they songs
They said sorry Mr. West is gone
[/i][/b]






Offline southendmd

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #14 on: October 07, 2021, 01:29:00 pm »
From Li'l Wayne:

"Safe sex is great sex, Better wear a latex Cause you don't want that late text, That "I think I'm late" text"

Offline southendmd

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #15 on: October 07, 2021, 01:36:49 pm »
From "Hamilton":

Lock up ya daughters and horses, of course It's

Hard to have intercourse over four sets of

corsets

Offline southendmd

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #16 on: October 07, 2021, 01:42:17 pm »
Also from "Hamilton":

Thomas Jefferson, always hesitant with the President

Reticent--there isn't a plan he doesn't jettison

Madison, you mad as a hatter, son, take your medicine

Damn, you're in worse shape than the national debt is in!

Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #17 on: October 07, 2021, 01:43:08 pm »
From "Hamilton":

Lock up ya daughters and horses, of course It's

Hard to have intercourse over four sets of

corsets


From Oklahoma!

The farmer should be sociable with the cowboy
When he rides by and asks for food and water.
Don't treat him like a louse, make him welcome in your house.
But be sure that you lock up your wife and daughter!
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline southendmd

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #18 on: October 07, 2021, 02:02:35 pm »
What a wonderful idea!

Some of the words here may be a stretch, so you may feel this doesn't count, but the rhyming lyrics to "Brush Up Your Shakespeare," by Cole Porter, from the musical Kiss Me, Kate, are classic.

https://www.themusicallyrics.com/c/530-cole-porter-lyrics/7643-brush-up-your-shakespeare-lyrics.html

(Porter would probably have written the line as "Now I'm not sayin' I'm a gold digger, but check my prenup and go figger."   ;D )

One of my favorites! Especially his rhyming "heinous" with "Coriolanus"!


The girls today in society,
Go for classical poetry,
So to win their hearts one must quote with ease
Aeschylus and Euripides.
One must know Homer and, b'lieve me, Bo.
Sophocles, also Sappho-ho!
Unless you know Shelley and Keats and Pope.
Dainty debbies will call you a dope.
But the poet of them all
Who will start 'em simply ravin'
Is the poet people call
The bard of Stratford-on-Avon.

Brush up your Shakespeare,
Start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare
And the women you will wow.
Just declaim a few lines from Othella
And they'll think you're a helluva fella.
If your blonde won't respond when you flatter 'er
Tell her what Tony told Cleopaterer,
If she fights when her clothes you are mussing,
What are clothes? Much Ado About Nussing.
Brush up your Shakespeare
And they'll all kowtow.

Brush up your Shakespeare,
Start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare
And the women you will wow.
With the wife of the British embessida
Try a crack out of Troilus and Cressida,
If she says she won't buy it or tike it
Make her tike it, what's more, As You Like It.
If she says your behavior is heinous
Kick her right in the Coriolanus.
Brush up your Shakespeare
And they'll all kowtow.

Brush up your Shakespeare,
Start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare
And the women you will wow.
If you can't be a ham and do Hamlet
They will not give a damn or a damnlet.
Just recite an occasional sonnet.
And your lap'll have honey upon it.
When your baby is pleading for pleasure
Let her sample your Measure For Measure.
Brush up your Shakespeare
And they'll all kowtow.

Brush up your Shakespeare,
Start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare
And the women you will wow.
Better mention The Merchant Of Venice
When her sweet pound o' flesh you would menace.
If her virtue, at first, she defends well,
Just remind her that All's Well That Ends Well.
And if still she wont give you a bonus
You know what Venus got from Adonis!
Brush up your Shakespeare
And they'll all kowtow.

Brush up your Shakespeare,
Start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare
And the women you will wow.
If your goil is a Washington Heights dream.
Treat the kid to A Midsummer Night's Dream.
If she then wants an all-by-herself night
Let her rest ev'ry 'leventh or Twelfth Night.
If because of your heat she gets huffy
Simply play on and Lay on, Macduffy!
Brush up your Shakespeare
And they'll all kowtow.

Brush up your Shakespeare,
Start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare
And the women you will wow.
So tonight just recite to your matey,
Kiss me, Kate. Kiss me, Kate. Kiss me, Katey.
Brush up your Shakespeare
And they'll all kowtow.

Offline southendmd

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #19 on: October 07, 2021, 02:05:57 pm »
Another Porter fave from "Kiss Me, Kate": 

"Why Can't You Behave?"  I love the line "If the Harris pat means a Paris hat".


Oh, Bill,
Why can't you behave,
Why can't you behave?
How in hell can you be jealous
When you know, baby, I'm your slave?
I'm just mad for you,
And I'll always be,
But naturally

If a custom-tailored vet
Asks me out for something wet,
When the vet begins to pet, I cry 'Hooray!'
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
I enjoy a tender pass
By the boss of Boston, Mass.,
Though his pass is middle-class and notta Backa Bay.
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
There's a madman known as Mack
Who is planning to attack,
If his mad attack means a Cadillac, okay!
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion,
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.

I've been asked to have a meal
By a big tycoon in steel,
If the meal includes a deal, accept I may.
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
I could never curl my lip
To a dazzlin' diamond clip,
Though the clip meant 'let 'er rip,' I'd not say 'Nay!'
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
There's an oil man known as Tex
Who is keen to give me checks.
And his checks, I fear, means that sex is here to stay.
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.

There's a wealthy Hindu priest
Who's a wolf, to say the least,
When the priest goes too far east, I also stray.
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
There's a lush from Portland, Ore.,
Who is rich, but sich a bore,
When the bore falls on the floor, I let him lay
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
Mister Harris, plutocrat,
Wants to give my cheek a pat,
If the Harris pat
Means a Paris hat,
Bebe, Oo-la-la!
Mais, je suis toujours fidele, darlin', in my fashion,
Oui, je suis toujours fidele, darlin' in my way.

From Ohio Mister Thorn
Calls me up from night 'til morn,
Mister Thorn once cornered corn and that ain't hay.
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
From Milwaukee Mister Fritz
Often moves me to the Ritz,
Mister Fritz is full of Schlitz and full of play.
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
Mister Gable, I mean Clark,
Wants me on his boat to park,
If the Gable boat means a sable coat,
Anchors aweigh!
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.

Offline southendmd

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #20 on: October 07, 2021, 02:24:21 pm »
This is an early Porter song from "See America First", 1916. 

"I've a Shooting Box in Scotland":


Nowadays, it's rather nobby
To regard one's private hobby
As the object of one's tenderest affections;
Some excel at Alpine climbing
Others have a turn for rhyming,
While a lot of people go in for collections.

Such as prints by Hiroshigi,
Edelweiss from off the Rigi,
Jacobean soup tureens,
Early types of limousines,
Pipes constructed from a dry cob,
Baseball hits by Mister Ty Cobb,
Locks of Mrs. Browning's hair,
Photographs of Ina Claire,
First editions still uncut,
Daily pranks of Jeff and Mutt,
Della Robia singing boys,
Signatures of Alfred Noyes,
Fancy bantams,
Grecian vases,
Tropic beetles,
Irish laces,
But my favorite pastime
Is collecting country places.

I've a shooting box in Scotland,
I've a chateau in Touraine,
I've a silly little chalet
In the Interlaken Valley,
I've a hacienda in Spain,
I've a private fjord in Norway,
I've a villa close to Rome,
And in traveling
It's really quite a comfort to know
That you're never far from home!

Now it's really very funny
What an awful lot of money
On exorbitant hotels a chap can squander;
But I never have to do so,
Like resourceful Mister Crusoe,
I can find a home however far I wander.

I've a bungalow at Simla,
I've an island east of Maine,
If you care for hotter places,
I've an African oasis
On an uninhabited plain;
I've a houseboat on the Yangtse,
I've an igloo up at Nome,
Yes, in traveling
It's really quite a comfort to know
That you're never far from home!

Having lots of idle leisure
I pursue a life of pleasure,
Like a rolling stone in constant agitation
For tho' stay-at-homes may cavil,
I admit I'd rather travel,
Than collect a crop of mossy vegetation!

I've a shanty in the Rockies,
I've a castle on the Rhine,
I've a Siamese pagoda,
I've a cottage in Fashoda,
Near the equatorial line!
On my sable farm in Russia
O'er the barren steppes we'll roam,
And in traveling
It's really quite a comfort to know
That you're never far from home.

Offline serious crayons

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #21 on: October 07, 2021, 03:35:23 pm »
From Li'l Wayne:

"Safe sex is great sex, Better wear a latex Cause you don't want that late text, That "I think I'm late" text"

Have I told you how much I love Li'l Wayne, my old neighbor in New Orleans? Of course, we didn't know each other -- he would have been about 10, but my street was the border of his neighborhood, Hollygrove. And he may well have attended the elementary school next door, named back then after Robert E. Lee.

Admittedly, I might not love his entire catalog. But I love this song and have listened to it approximately 200 times.

RIGHT ABOVE IT

Now tell me how you love it
You know you at the top when only heaven's right above it
We on, cause we on
Who else really tryna fuck with Hollywood Cole? I'm with Marley G bro
Flying Hollygrove chicks to my Hollywood shows
And I wanna tell you something that you prolly should know
This that Slumdog Millionaire Bollywood flow
And uh, my real friends never hearin' from me
Fake friends write the wrong answers on the mirror for me
That's why I pick and choose, I don't get shit confused
I got a small circle, I'm not with different crews
We walk the same path, but got on different shoes
Live in the same building, but we got different views
I got a couple cars I never get to use
Don't like my women single, I like my chicks in twos
And these days all the girls is down to roll
I hit the strip club and all them bitches find a pole
Plus I been sippin' so this shit is movin' kinda slow
Just tell my girl to tell her friend that it's time to go
Now tell me how you love it
You know you at the top when only heaven's right above it
We on
It's Young Money motherfucker
If you ain't runnin' with it, run from it motherfucker
Alright
Now somebody show some money in this bitch
And I got my B's with me like some honey in this bitch, ya dig?
I got my gun in my boo purse
And I don't bust back because I shoot first
Meet me on the fresh train
Yes I'm in the building, you just on the list of guest names
And all of my riders do not give a fuck, X Games
Guns turn you boys into pussies, sex change
And I smoke 'til I got chest pains
And you niggas know I rep my gang like Jesse James
Women are possessive, and they wanna possess Wayne
I been fly so long I fell asleep on the fuckin' plane
Skinny pants and some Vans
Call me Triple A, get my advance in advance, Amen
As the world spin and dance in my hands
Life is a beach, I'm just playin' in the sand
Uh, wake up and smell the pussy
You niggas can't see me, but never overlook me
I'm on a paper trail, it ain't no tellin' where it took me
Yeah, and I ain't a killer but don't push me
Now tell me how you love it
You know you at the top when only heaven's right above it
We on
It's Young Money motherfucker
If you ain't runnin' with it, run from it motherfucker
Alright
Now somebody show some money in this bitch
And I got my B's with me like some honey in this bitch, ya dig?
I got my gun in my boo purse
And I don't bust back because I shoot first
Uhh, how do he say what's never said?
Beautiful black woman, I bet that bitch look better red
Limpin' off tour cause I made more off my second leg
Motherfuckin' Birdman Junior, eleventh grade
Ball on automatic start
I could hand it to Drake or do a quarterback draw
Wildcat offense, check the paw prints
We in the building, you niggas in apartments
Uh, no-now c'mon be my blood donor
Flow so nice, you ain't gotta put a rug on her
Do it big and let the small fall under that
Damn, where you stumbled at?
From where they make gumbo at

Kane got the fuckin' beat jumpin' like a jumping jack
And you know me, I get on this bitch and have a heart attack
Hip Hop I'm the heart of that, nigga nothin' short of that
President Carter, Young Money Democrat
Uh
Now tell me how you love it
You know you at the top when only heaven's right above it
We onnn
It's Young Money motherfucker
If you ain't runnin' with it, run from it motherfucker
Alright
Now somebody show some money in this bitch (yeah)
And I got my B's with me like some honey in this bitch, ya dig? (soo woo)
And I got my gun in my boo purse (5 Star)
And I don't bust back because I shoot first (yeahh, alright)


Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #22 on: October 07, 2021, 03:36:18 pm »
Some of these lyrics are Too Darn Hot, but they're all Wunderbar.  ;D
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline southendmd

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #23 on: October 15, 2021, 12:40:05 pm »
In anticipation of next year's revival of "Funny Girl" with Beanie Feldstein, I re-watched the film.  "You Are Woman, I Am Man" is terribly non-PC, but has some fun rhymes.  I wonder if they'll edit it for the revival?


Nick:
You are woman
I am man
You are smaller, so I can be taller than
You are softer to the touch
It's a feeling I like
Feeling very much.
You are someone I've admired
Still, our friendship
Leaves something to be desired
Does it take more explanation than this?
You are woman, I am man
Let's kiss

Fannie:
Isn't this the height of nonchalance,
Furnishing a bed in restaurants?
Well, a bit of dinner never hurt
But guess who is gonna be dessert?
Do good girls do just what mama says
When mama's not around is a feeling
Oy vey, what a feeling.

Nick:
A bit of pate?

Fannie:
I drink it all day.

Should I do the things he'll tell me to?
In this pickle, what would Nellie do?
In my soul I feel an inner lack,
Just suppose he wants his dinner back?
Does it take more explanation than this?
(I love her description of pate):
Just some dried-out toast in a sliver
On the top a little chopped liver.

How many girls become a sinner
While waiting for a roast beef dinner?
Though most girls slip in ordinary ways
I got style, I do it bordelaise
Well, at least he thinks I'm special
He ordered a la carte.
It's a feeling I like
Feeling very
I feel the feeling down to my toes.
Now I feel there's a fire here
Try that once, a little higher, dear
What a beast to ruin such a pearl
Would a convent take a Jewish girl?
Does it take more explanation than this?
Ooo, the thrills and chills goin' through me
If I stop him now
Can he sue me? (Oy!!!)
You are woman...
You are man...
Let's kiss

Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #24 on: October 15, 2021, 02:25:56 pm »
These are so delightful! I'm reading them whenever I feel down. Thank you, friend!

Offline southendmd

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #25 on: October 18, 2021, 10:47:53 am »
These are so delightful! I'm reading them whenever I feel down. Thank you, friend!

I'm glad you like them!

Offline southendmd

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #26 on: October 18, 2021, 10:54:36 am »
This is a clever song from the Broadway show "City of Angels", by David Zippel and Cy Coleman.  Picture a split screen:  half the stage in color, featuring the author of popular detective novels, a nebbish named Stine; other half in black and white, featuring the dashing hero of said novels, Stone. 

YOU'RE NOTHING WITHOUT ME

STINE: You are some gumshoe
You just don't think well
Get this, dumb gumshoe,
You come from my inkwell
Is your mouth lonely
With one foot in there
Stone, your brain only
Holds thoughts I put in there
Just what you are I'll spell out
You are a novel pain
One speck of lint that fell out
The last time that I picked my brain

STONE: You are so jealous
Of my track record
Tolstoy, do tell us
Your feeble hack record
Your weak knees brand you
Soft and unstable
One small threat and you
Fold like a card table
You drool at my adventures
Your broads in bed are bored
Go home and soak your dentures
Your pen is no match for my sword

BOTH: You're nothing without me
A no-one who'd go undefined
You wouldn't exist
You'd never be missed

STINE: I tell you you're out of my mind

BOTH: A show off, a blowhard
You're equal parts hot air and gall
And no one would doubt me
Without me you're nothing at all

STINE: You're in my plot
I'm still your creator
I call each shot
I'm your private dic-tator

STONE: You are so thick, you
Eat, breathe, sleep fiction
I'm your meal ticket
Knee-deep in cheap fiction

STINE: You gloating ignoramus
You haven't any shame

STONE: Hey, I'm a famous shamus
And most people don't know your name

BOTH: You're nothing without me
Without me you'd just disappear
Right into thin air
And no one would care
Or notice you ever were here
A puppet, an upstart
A loser who's destined to fall
I'm everything you always wanted to be
Let's deal with the issue:
You wish you were me
You're nothing without me
Without me you're nothing
At all


Offline southendmd

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #27 on: October 18, 2021, 11:29:05 am »
Of course, by the end of the show, there is a resolution.  The guys now sing:

I'M NOTHING WITHOUT YOU

[Stine & Stone]
I'm nothing without you
Without you I lack what it takes
Unless we?re combined I have half a mind
To blow all my chances and breaks
Without you i'm bubkis
A flop who keeps dropping the ball
It's time to stop waking start taking the lead
And you are the singular buddy I need
To doubt you is where I went wrong
I?m nothing without you
Without you I'm nothing

[Stone, spoken]
Let's give this a Hollywood ending!

[Stone, Stine & Gabby, sung]
I'm nothing without you

[Stone Stine Both]
No hero
A zero
That's me

[Stone Gabby Stone, Stine & Gabby]
With you by my side
There's no better guide
On how to be all I can be
I'm nowhere without you
To doubt you is where I went wrong
The script calls for fusing and using our smarts
And greatness can come from the sum of our parts

[Company]
From now on I'm with you
And with you is where I belong.

A mash-up, with the original cast, including Gregg Edelman and James Naughton:

Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #28 on: October 18, 2021, 12:19:52 pm »
Well, I do rather like this:

Your broads in bed are bored
Go home and soak your dentures
Your pen is no match for my sword
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #29 on: October 18, 2021, 12:30:11 pm »
The minimalist approach and the maximalist!

I had a delightful evening on Saturday attending "Fall Follies with Gilbert and Sullivan" by the Empire Lyric Players. Some fantastic rhymes! I will hopefully get around to posting the best ones this week.

Offline southendmd

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #30 on: October 18, 2021, 01:25:08 pm »
Well, I do rather like this:

Your broads in bed are bored
Go home and soak your dentures
Your pen is no match for my sword


Pretty good, hunh?

I like this one:

You're in my plot
I'm still your creator
I call each shot
I'm your private dic-tator


Of course, private dick is slang for private eye, which Stone is!