The World Beyond BetterMost > The Culture Tent

A collection of clever rhymes

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Jeff Wrangler:
I've always liked this one:

I'm a brass band,
I'm a harpsichord;
I'm a clarinet!
I'm the Philadelphia Orchestra,
I'm the Modern Jazz Quartet!

southendmd:
From City of Angels:


And come to think of it
Your writing always mirrors our relationship
With dangers cropping up
And sweet young strangers popping up like weeds
So if you wish official pardoning
You better do a little gardening
Ya know ya needn't be so gen'rous with your seeds
Your fertile lies don't fertilize
It needs work

southendmd:
From "The Producers":

"There'll be gala opening nights again
You'll see my name in lights again
I'll go from dark to brights again
My spirits high as kites again
I'll never suffer slights again
I'll taste those sweet delights again
No plethora of plights again
No blossoming of blights again
No frantic fits or frights again
Fame is in my sights again
I'll take those fancy flights again
I'm gonna scale the heights again!"

southendmd:
From Sondheim's "A Little Night Music":


Now, insofar as approaching it,
What would be festive
But have its effect?
Now, there are two ways of broaching it:
A, the suggestive,
And B, the direct.
Say
That I settle on B, to wit,
A charmingly
Lecherous mood,
A,
I could put on my nightshirt or sit
Disarmingly,
B, in the nude.
That might be effective;
My body's all right--
But not in perspective
And not in the light.
I'm bound to be chilly
And feel a buffoon,
But nightshirts are silly
In mid-afternoon.
Which leaves the suggestive,
But how to proceed?
Although she gets restive,
Perhaps I could read.
In view of her penchant
For something romantic,
De Sade is to trenchant
And Dickens too frantic,
And Stendhal would ruin
The plan of attack,
As there isn't much blue in
"The Red and the Black."
De Maupassant's candour
Would cause her dismay,
The Brontes are grander
But not very gay,
Her taste is much blander,
I'm sorry to say,
But is Hans Christian Ander-
Sen ever risque?
Which eliminates A...

southendmd:
Sorry, I'm really into this.  This is from "Chess":


Bangkok, Oriental setting
And the city don't know that the city is getting
The cr?me de la cr?me of the chess world
In a show with everything but Yul Brynner
Time flies, doesn't seem a minute
Since the Tyrolean spa had the chess boys in it
All change, don't you know that
When you play at this level there's no ordinary venue?
It's Iceland, or the Philippines, or Hastings, or
Or this place!
One night in Bangkok, and the world's your oyster
The bars are temples, but the pearls ain't free
You'll find a god in every golden cloister
And if you're lucky then the god's a she
I can feel an angel sliding up to me
One town's very like another
When your head's down over your pieces, brother
(It's a drag, it's a bore, it's really such a pity
To be looking at the board, not looking at the city)
Whaddya mean? Ya seen one crowded, polluted, stinking town
(Tea, girls, warm, sweet
Some are set up in the Somerset Maugham suite)
Get Thai'd! You're talking to a tourist
Whose every move's among the purest
I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine
One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One night in Bangkok, and the tough guys tumble
Can't be too careful with your company
I can feel the devil walking next to me
Siam's gonna be the witness
To the ultimate test of cerebral fitness
This grips me more than would a muddy old river
Or reclining Buddha
And thank God I'm only watching the game, controlling it
I don't see you guys rating
The kind of mate I'm contemplating
I'd let you watch, I would invite you
But the queens we use would not excite you
So you better go back to your bars, your temples, your massage parlours
One night in Bangkok, and the world's your oyster
The bars are temples, but the pearls ain't free
You'll find a god in every golden cloister
A little flesh, a little history
I can feel an angel sliding up to me
One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble
Can't be too careful with your company
I can feel the devil walking next to me

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