It's time to fess up

[nicpic64]

Hi all you Tremblayans,

I began at Chez Tremblay a couple weeks after the group took refuge at Pierre Tremblay's message board on IMDb back in December.  (For those of you who don't know, I am married to Pierre Tremblay, the namesake of this board.)  We were kindly emailed by StudDuck who was then SoupNazi who told us that Pierre had an unknown fan base.  Needless to say, the two of us read the email with curiosity and confusion until we decided that this must be one of our buddies pulling a very elaborate and funny practical joke on Pierre.  Once Pierre had gone to bed, I went to IMDb to check out if Pierre even had a message board.  We knew his c.v. was posted (but not current!) but had not realized there was in fact, a message board.  When I saw the group who had made this place their home and were on there talking about Pierre (who is he?  how did Brandon choose him? etc.)  my heart started beating fast as I screamed down to Pierre to come take a look.  We read through the threads in disbelief.  This was not a practical joke after all. 

The members decided to email Pierre a list of questions.  They debated over the wording and the appropriate nature of each question.  Unbenounced to Pierre or the board members, I secretely lurked, spellbound by the process of forums, in which I had not ever participated.  I was also  getting to really like the people whose threads I was reading until one day, I was unable to restrain myself and I put in my two bits worth.  I ended up having a playful conversation with Chanterais who had me laughing out loud more than once.  I had several fun conversations with members until I realized that I had joined in where I had no business joining in and so deleted all my messages.  A few days later, I couldn't help myself and again, joined in a thread.

Why am I telling you all this?  Well, I think it's time I fess up.    I loved Brokeback Mountain but had read the script a year and a half earlier and knew what to expect.  In reality, I spent the first 40 minutes of the movie waiting for the opening credits so I could spy Pierre's name.  (Turns out the credits came only at the end!)  I watched sets I had been on and remembered the days of the shoot.  I cried when Ennis entered the alley to sob after he leaves Jack for the first time.  I sobbed when Jake's mom tells Ennis to come back anytime.  (She's a mother afterall and knew all along Jack loved Ennis.)  I cheered when Pierre's name finally came up and so did Pierre's mom who was sitting with me.  I spent three days after the film, in a daze, unable to get the images of the film out of my head.  I intend to buy the DVD this weekend and watch the film again with my husband.  All this to confess something.  Although I loved this movie, I am not a cinaphile.  I saw the movie only once.  I do not collect memorabilia except for the shirts and hats we bought after the show wrapped.  But they weren't for posterity but rather to wear at the Calgary Stampede.  I do not surf the web.  I know Jake and Heath are really down to earth nice guys but I don't pine for either of them, even jokingly.  I have been on this board, not for my love of a movie but because I have become intrigued with you all. 

I followed you here because StudDuck was kind enough to let me know you had come here.  Phillip is a marvellous host and this is a great place to hang out.  I come here from time to time to read your threads but don't have anything to contribute unless you all feel like discussing education, horticulture, Canadian history and minor league hockey.  I have attempted to join the fray with PM's and emails but know I can't fake it anymore.  It's you, not Brokeback Mountain which has drawn and kept me coming back here.

I am glad you are all cozy here and I envy your common passion for something wonderful.  I am trying to say goodbye but finding it harder than I thought.  I am NOT expecting rows of hugging and kissing little yellow balls (which I have STILL not quite figured out how to use!) so please don't.  After I finish this letter, I will leave the board so don't feel you need to address me in the thread.  I know you well enough from spying on you for a couple months, that you would all send your best regards and love and kisses.  I love email and if ever you feel like talking about motherhood, teaching or Canada, I'm there! (StudDuck, Chanterais and Reannawrites have my address.)

Pierre and I are so proud that his name is used for a group of such kind, funny, clever and interesting people.  If ever you come to Alberta, you make darn sure to call us, ya hear?

yours with warmest regards,
Nicole Tremblay
aka nicpic64, aka Suzy Furman (sp?), aka pstremblay

[chefjudy]

wow - what a great letter - are you sure you want to leave - it's been so nice reading your posts - you are a special kind of person, and I think Pierre is very lucky..............

[JCinNYC2006]

Well dang....that's so classy.  There are a lot of terrific people on this board, but man, that is classy.

[Chanterais]

Well dang....that's so classy.  There are a lot of terrific people on this board, but man, that is classy.

Yeah, I'll miss her.  She's a funny bird.  And a beautiful and classy letter, as Ruff put it.  I'll echo what she said, and say that if anyone does want to email her, I'd be delighted to share.

I also should probably 'fess up and say that it isn't my adoration of Brokeback that is the primary motivator in keeping me here.  Of course, I'm attached to it in all kinds of unhealthy ways, but it really is you guys that I find so fascinating.

I go to a university filled with smart people who can write well.  Most of my friends write well.  But the level of discourse here is just mind-blowingly good to me.  As an indicator of how good it is, Rtprod, a professional film critic, doesn't put us all to shame.  (And I mean no disrespect by that, rt.  You have an incredibly polished mind, and your voice is entirely distinctive and memorable here.) 

There's such a richness to our discussions.  In my everyday life, most conversations are pretty banal.  That's not to say that we don't get hysterically trivial here, but there's an interest and a depth that I find so compelling.  It's the passion for stories, be they films, theatre, novels, short stories, poems or personal experiences that is so addictive.  I'm marked out amongst my friends for being the one everyone asks for movie recommendations, the one whose bookshelves are overflowing, the one who always, always wants to talk endlessly about what we've seen recently.  Here, I'm unexceptional, and I love that. 

I also love the range of voices we have, from our baby Becky to the French femme fatale Isabelle, to the beautiful inside-and-out Indian princess Reanna to the eloquent and dryly hilarious Jmmgallagher to the warmth and kindness of Shuggy, who believes in the best of everyone, to the frankly insane and adorable thought pieces by Julie.  And Julie, get your hands out of your pants, I can see you!

I guess this is just a love letter to all of you.  Yes, I mean you.  And you.  I don't know if you all witnessed my adoring molestation of Henrypie the other day, but I probably could write a similar piece about every single one of you.  I really could.  And I will, if you ask me.

My heart beats big for you guys.  Just wanted you to know.

[rtprod]

I also read Nicole's letter with a tinge of the bittersweet at the possibility of another loss in the "family," which I use quotes around though at this point it is entirely unnecessary.  But her thoughtful remarks on the glue that fastens and continues to strengthen this community have a certain relevance to me that I can't shake.  I  must say how much I have come to enjoy--depend on, even--the multi-dimensional faces, voices and people here who used a masterpiece as a springboard for a tapestry of another kind that is no less complex or rewarding.  Here's to everyone here, and Chanterais, thanks for your kind remarks that there is a place at the table for me in a community of individuals that is endearingly eclectic, comforting, protective and at times, maddeningly antagonistic--a spirit we couldn't do without.  I'm happy to be thought of as part of this vibrant, global group of hearts and minds.  I'm sure I speak for many when I say I'm fortunate to have found each of you, even those I sometimes think about but with whom I don't often commnicate. 

And a certain few of you--you know who you are--I cherish. 

rt

[henrypie]

Adriana,
What a lovely post.
I too am here as much for you guys as for the thing we're all here for.  An example: I'm reading The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time.  The protagonist is an autistic 15-year-old boy.  Today my thoughts wandered round to hungryhungryhippos's son, who is autistic.    I have to admit I love it that I have a circle of friends and acquaintances with names like hungryhungryhippos, starboardlight, chefjudy etc.  I know you have real names too, but these names are special to me.

And even though we're not supposed to throw roses or smilies at Nicole, I thank her for her sweetness and class.

[love4][love4][love4]
(a nod to old times)

[Becky]

I know I am not supposed to adress this to Nicole, but I will as I am sure she will buckle under the tension of C.T and come and have a peek back here sometime.
I really wish you wouldn't go, you and pierre have become apart of our family, poking your heads round every now and then like adults checking on kids at a sleep over! But I really wish you wouldn't go, although I only had one short conversation with you about "To Kill a Mockingbird" (wow that seems ages ago) you seemed a briliant woman, and someone I hoped I would get to know. You really seemed like the type of person who would fit in here at C.T. I know what you mean though how these boards and Pierre and Nicole have become part of our lives. The last time I watched BBM I waited in the cinema to spot Pierre's name and when I did I gave out a little squeak and a mexican wave sort of victory. My friends thought I was overly weird but I didn't care. Also I think of you guys all the time. I think stuff like, "Ha so-and-so would find that funny!" etc. It is surprising how connected I have become with you guys, it is amazing.

I would love to keep in touch with you Nicole, if you do as you say and never come back here I will respect your strength in character, cause I have tried to quit thousands of times over the past few days. I think I am almost at the stage of shouting "I wish I could quit you!" at my computer screen. I wish you all the best and you have my dearest regards, if you never come back, but if you do and you are reading this PM me. I know you said not to do this, but I don't know how to express my love to a wonderful woman such as yourself with out using one of these: .

Love you lots,
Becky

[Ray]

I have been on this board, not for my love of a movie but because I have become intrigued with you all.

I'm sure I speak for many when I say I'm fortunate to have found each of you, even those I sometimes think about but with whom I don't often commnicate. 

I agree with these sentiments in particular.  I found my way to the BBM board many months ago because I could not shake off the devastation of this fantastic piece of art and I needed to guage where my reaction sat with the world at large. I wanted some sort of justification for the uncharacteristic tears that poured, for the ache in my heart.  I found more than justification, I found all of you.  I often feel a bit...(a lot) guilty that I don't discuss the film enough anymore and I'm too off topic to be contributing, (thus why I drift into lurker mode occassionally).  Your stories and reactions to the film have become more intriguing to me than the film itself.  BBM will always be a part of me now, but moreover, you have contributed to my being in ways that I never imagined.  Each personality is essential in this group and I'm always aware when one of you hasn't posted for a while.   There are people here that I have never directly communicated with, such as rt, and chanteraise, simply out of an inability to find a relevant response, but every word is read and, for me, every personality makes up this breathtaking dynamic.  Becky is trying to cast us all into BBM roles on another thread, which is fun, but I think we are cast perfectly for the story that is being played out right here and now.  You people, and ALL of you people are part of my daily breath and I can't seem.., don't want to do without any of you.  So forgive my failure to discuss the film's nuances and technicalities anymore, but you have become my text of choice these days.

[cmr107]

Oh Ray. Have I told you lately how glad I am that you're here? That was beautifully said.

[Becky]

Wow Ray, you take my breath away! I know you play the clown at times, but you always have something briliant and meaningful.

Becky is trying to cast us all into BBM roles on another thread, which is fun, but I think we are cast perfectly for the story that is being played out right here and now.

What you don't want your part as Ennis in the flashback hug scene? LOL

[Ray]

Oh Ray. Have I told you lately how glad I am that you're here? That was beautifully said.

No you haven't, so yud better do it right now!

What you don't want your part as Ennis in the flashback hug scene? LOL

Don't you dare take that role away from me!  Infact I'm performing it tonight.  I'm having Sheyne around for dinner, (I don't know how she'll taste).  She is another wonderful gift from this board!

I know you play the clown at times

Maybe I should take the evil Jimbo role!

[cmr107]

Super duper glad, that's how glad! (Almost) as glad as Ennis was to see Jack in the reunion scene....what, too much information?

I'm sure Sheyne will taste wonderful. Let us know!

[Becky]

Don't you dare take that role away from me!  Infact I'm performing it tonight.  I'm having Sheyne around for dinner, (I don't know how she'll taste).  She is another wonderful gift from this board!

I wouldn't dare take that role away from you hunny! You were made for it! Take pictures if possible of you and Sheyne! Hey if you are eating her(be warned this is about to get scary) then maybe you could save what is left of her and she can play the dead sheep when we do the reinactment!

Maybe I should take the evil Jimbo role!

No you couldn't play him, you could never turn Jack down, you know that! Anyway I can't picture you in the red nose and baggy pants!

[Ray]

maybe you could save what is left of her and she can play the dead sheep when we do the reinactment!

Well, I know we'll be drinking wine, so I'd say either one of us will be perfect for the sheep peeing on the mountain!

And thankyou Court, It's about time!

[Becky]

Well, I know we'll be drinking wine, so I'd say either one of us will be perfect for the sheep peeing on the mountain!

Yeah by the sounds of it you will both be baaaaaaaaaladered! (AKA drunk, if you didn't know what bladered was, maybe it is an English thing)*badoom, doom, tisch!*

[j.U.d.E.]

Ray, that's beautiful! I'm not as articulate as most of you guys, so I'm just going to say it again, that's beautiful Ray!

Nicole, even though you might never read this, I too, am sad to see you leave! You are part of this family and we'll always be thankful for your comments and contribution and of course the fact that we were allowed to squat the Pierre Tremblay board! Merci Pierre.

~ j U d E

[reannawrites]

Oh wow....I don't even know where to begin...I'm touched that Nicole has written all of us such a thoughtful and sweet letter....I agree with Becky, I sincerely do wish she and Pierre would be around us forever because they're such wonderful people. They were unbelievably kind in letting us use Pierre's board for our posts.
I feel very sad thinking that she won't be posting on this board anymore - I hope we can sign up for visitation rights   

It is rare to come across a group with such diverse voices, generous hearts, great wit, and intelligent minds. Even if I haven't interacted with ppl on the board personally - I so admire what they are able to put across in their posts and their deep passion for bbm. - I mean, I usually only have internet access after midnight and I stay up just to come share my thoughts with you all - no matter if I haven't slept in days - it just means so much to me to be able to do so.

I don't think one has to be a film scholar to relate to you all - I always leave all that assistant director stuff at the door and post here as someone who loves Brokeback Mountain for the brilliant film it is and for what it stirs in people. It's a masterpiece, no doubt, and over the past few months, I have become more deeply attached to it for what it brings out in people - the deepest of emotions are articulated over here and on the IMDB boards and I appreciate it so very much.

Thank You all so very much.
Lots of love and hugs,
Reanna

P.S: Chanterais - Indian Princess?    My cheeks are full on red now. Thanks sweetie. I think you're wonderful.

[YaadPyar]

Each personality is essential in this group and I'm always aware when one of you hasn't posted for a while...but every word is read and, for me, every personality makes up this breathtaking dynamic.   So forgive my failure to discuss the film's nuances and technicalities anymore, but you have become my text of choice these days.

Lovely, dear Ray - just lovely

[dmmb_Mandy]

Wow, reading this whole thread has brought me to tears. It's funny, 'cause just last night I fully realized just how attached I am to all of you. When I first joined in on discussions on IMdB, it was for BBM and only BBM. And daily I would wonder to myself: "I wonder what aspect of the film they're all talking about today?" But last night, I thought to myself: "Oooh, I wonder who's on, I should go online & see what's new with everyone" and I stopped for a second, smiled, and realized that what we have here is so much more than a movie. I still love discussing the movie, of course, but with YOU all, and everyone brings something unique and amazing to this group.

You are all a reminder of what's beautiful in this world; the ability to connect with another being so meaningfully. Past all the prejudices, racism, homophobia, and all of the other evils, there is still good, and we have to hold on to that to stay sane. And when I'm out in the mad world, living day-to-day, running around in circles just like everyone else, I think of you all & feel my heart skip a beat.

[isabelle]

the French femme fatale Isabelle,

Heeheehee, wow, (I hesitate between the two), I am blushing now! Now you've made my day, I can just go through the day (or the rest of my life), playing the femme fatale. I always dreamt of becoming an actress, in plays I mean.

to the beautiful inside-and-out Indian princess Reanna

Oh, she is, she is exactly this! SO beautiful. She is the real femme fatale!

to the eloquent and dryly hilarious Jmmgallagher to the warmth and kindness of Shuggy, who believes in the best of everyone, to the frankly insane and adorable thought pieces by Julie.

Heehee!

  I guess this is just a love letter to all of you. 

Wow. Same to you.

 Yes, I mean you.  And you.  I don't know if you all witnessed my adoring molestation of Henrypie the other day, but I probably could write a similar piece about every single one of you.  I really could.  And I will, if you ask me.

Ok: yes, please!

My heart beats big for you guys.  Just wanted you to know.

Same here, to all who will read this.




[/quote]

[reannawrites]

Thank you so much Isabelle - now you've made my day and made me blush. Believe me,  I've seen your picture and the Femme Fatale title totally belongs to you     You're the Grande Dame here...

We love you 

[isabelle]

Thank you so much Isabelle - now you've made my day and made me blush. Believe me,  I've seen your picture and the Femme Fatale title totally belongs to you     You're the Grande Dame here...

We love you 

And on top of being beautiful, you are sweet, reanna! Well... I am almost 40, and India has fascinated me especially since the age of 18, for some reason. You are the second Indian person I have 'talked' to (the other was in real life), and you are the second adorable Indian person I have met, so now I  really must save up and go over to your part of the world!

[reannawrites]

Thanks so much Isabelle...
Wow - since the age of 18, hmm? Yes please come visit    anytime.

[Ray]

Have we heard from Reanna, Judy (chef), Skinheadskippy or Peter (ptannen) lately?  Have I simply missed their posts or are they missing in action?

[isabelle]

Yep, I was wondering about reanna too, especially in view of what happened to a friend of hers lately. Sent her a PM.
But I HAVE seen a post by ptannen recently.

[skinheadskippy]

Sorry to lose you, Nic. It's been a pleasure!

[Ray]

There you are Skiny.  Where ya bin?

[reannawrites]

Hi Ray (and Hi Isabelle and skiny)...I was away from the board a few days after my friend passing away...I've been tryin to be out and about as much as possible so haven't been on the net much either. But I'm around every day for a little while. Thanks so much for asking about me 

Hope all good with you, lots of love

Reanna

[Ray]

Nic never did come back hunh?!

[dmmb_Mandy]

I guess not. 

[ednbarby]

Seems like Reanna's been gone for a while again, too.  Hope she's doing OK.  And has anyone talked to Adrianna (Chanterais) lately?  It looks like she lurks but doesn't post.  I miss you, A, my other Canadian goddess!

[Ellemeno]

I wonder how Nicole is?

[henrypie]

I've heard from Adriana -- she was tsunamied by exams and then dried out on the beach of vacation.  I don't know if/when she'll be back but she's alive and well.