Shakesthegrounds Rumblings

[Lynne]

Hey again - twice in 24 hours - you're going to have to make up your futon!  My Mamie is Grandma Mamie.

I think that's terrific news about your nephew.  You said two things that I think are important...(more than that, of course, anyhoo )

...I added that in proper perspective it is not that big a part of me, but it was a real and vital part and I hated lying about it....

There is so much truth here - I think that much more of the angst comes from the lies you build up surrounding yourself than from anything else.  You (Everyone) deserves to be able to live a life in the sunlight, free from deceit.  It has to make you feel bad about yourself on every level, even when intellectually you know that YOU are fine.  I'm proud that you unburdened yourself to your nephew.

Gawd, what is it with this world? Who are these people to put us thru this? Its obnoxious. But I feel good today. One person in my family now knows the truth about me and I never thought that would happen voluntarily.

I don't think it's obnoxious at all - you took a big step and a risk and you deserve to feel very good about it! 

[Shakesthecoffecan]

I don't think it's obnoxious at all - you took a big step and a risk and you deserve to feel very good about it! 

No what I was talking about was this world, society, how is it that they get to set the rules, because they are the majority? How does that happen that we gotta live in fear of being found out? It seems more fucked up to me now than it did before.

[CellarDweller]

No what I was talking about was this world, society, how is it that they get to set the rules, because they are the majority? How does that happen that we gotta live in fear of being found out? It seems more fucked up to me now than it did before.

Just because they set the rules, doesn't mean we have to follow them.

[Shakesthecoffecan]

Just because they set the rules, doesn't mean we have to follow them.

Amen. That is what we are doing, breaking the rules to the point they become irrelevant.

[loneleeb3]

Amen. That is what we are doing, breaking the rules to the point they become irrelevant.

Don't know about you, but in my youth I always enjoyed being a rule breaker! LOL
It's still fun today!

[ifyoucantfixit]

          Acceptance is the hardest thing in the world to feel good about.  We dont ever
understand why others cant understand us as we are.  It is such a simple thing, and at the
same time so totally devastating to find its not given. Specially from those we love, and who
by every other account are supposed to love us. 
           You are brave and wonderful to do this Truman.  Just know that whatever the outcome, you will always have people here who love you, and accept every thing that you are.
         

[Rayn]

Dear Truman,

    My family is a very conservative Roman Catholic family and when I came out to them years ago, they were devastated, especially my parents. But they never stopped loving me. They were confused a while and had to take a long while to process and question, but they're ok now and I'm ok with them as well.

    If you ever tell your folks, your entire family, I hope they will be ok with you being who you are too, in time.  It takes time, and thought and prayer, but most loving parents and siblings come round to knowing that your orientation does not change who you have always been to them, a son, a brother, and more often than not, they come to terms with loving you even if they don't agree with your lifestyle as my folks said for a while.  We love you anyway, they'd say and I would reply, "As long as you love me, the way you do doesn't matter to me. I love you too."  They have to do that , you see, or they lose a son & brother and most families don't want that.

So, yeah, it is scary and depressing too at times, but being yourself with your family is really an important thing in life.  I know you understand that.  I wish you the best whatever step you take in your own time in the future.

Rayn

[CellarDweller]

Amen. That is what we are doing, breaking the rules to the point they become irrelevant.

One of those "rules" I break on a daily basis is not being "quiet" about who I am.  I am out and tell everyone that I'm gay.

Gay tattoos on my arms, gay bumperstickers on my car, Brokeback Mountain memorabilia and pics of forum get togethers up in my cubicle.

People ask me why I am sooooo out.  I tell them that if men who are scared to come out see me, and realize that I'm gay and out, and I'm ok, then maybe they'll find the inner courage to come out as well, and stop making their lives miserable.

[HerrKaiser]

          Acceptance is the hardest thing in the world to feel good about.  .
         

I think if you can accept yourself on whatever terms make sense for your life, you'll feel good. If you place your destiny in the judgment of others, happiness will not be the result. while the high-fives are nice, you don't need others' to validate who you are.

[Shakesthecoffecan]

Nice posts folks, we all have our ways to validate ourselves, and I have to tell you I feel very good right now. Yall are apart of that good feeling.