Author Topic: Holiday Cartoons (Read 12173 times)

dot-matrix · « **on:** December 18, 2006, 07:39:15 pm »

Roland's Snowman Cartoons over on "I Love the Lighter Side" inspired me to start this thread here. Hope everyone enjoys and shares their favorites

dot-matrix · « **Reply #1 on:** December 18, 2006, 07:41:08 pm »

dot-matrix · « **Reply #2 on:** December 18, 2006, 07:42:14 pm »

dot-matrix · « **Reply #3 on:** December 18, 2006, 07:44:58 pm »

dot-matrix · « **Reply #4 on:** December 20, 2006, 02:43:05 am »

dot-matrix · « **Reply #5 on:** December 20, 2006, 02:44:11 am »

dot-matrix · « **Reply #6 on:** December 20, 2006, 03:06:47 am »

dot-matrix · « **Reply #7 on:** November 07, 2007, 06:16:52 am »

A little Thanksgiving inspired humor

dot-matrix · « **Reply #8 on:** November 07, 2007, 06:18:15 am »

dot-matrix · « **Reply #9 on:** November 07, 2007, 06:18:40 am »

ifyoucantfixit · « **Reply #10 on:** November 07, 2007, 03:55:36 pm »

Thanks Dot I needed these.....

dot-matrix · « **Reply #11 on:** November 14, 2007, 09:04:18 am »

dot-matrix · « **Reply #12 on:** November 14, 2007, 09:05:04 am »

dot-matrix · « **Reply #13 on:** November 14, 2007, 09:06:14 am »

dot-matrix · « **Reply #14 on:** November 14, 2007, 09:06:41 am »

Susiebell · « **Reply #15 on:** November 15, 2007, 08:39:01 am »

Susiebell · « **Reply #16 on:** November 15, 2007, 08:41:28 am »

Dagi · « **Reply #17 on:** November 15, 2007, 09:13:33 am »

Quote from: dot-matrix on November 07, 2007, 06:16:52 am

A little Thanksgiving inspired humor

Took me a while, too.

Great idea, great cartoons, Dottie!

dot-matrix · « **Reply #18 on:** November 25, 2007, 02:51:36 am »

dot-matrix · « **Reply #19 on:** November 25, 2007, 02:52:23 am »

Dagi · « **Reply #20 on:** November 25, 2007, 05:22:02 am »

dot-matrix · « **Reply #21 on:** November 26, 2007, 04:27:15 am »

dot-matrix · « **Reply #22 on:** November 26, 2007, 04:28:51 am »

dot-matrix · « **Reply #23 on:** November 26, 2007, 04:29:47 am »

dot-matrix · « **Reply #24 on:** November 26, 2007, 04:43:56 am »

Meryl · « **Reply #25 on:** November 27, 2007, 01:29:14 am »

Those are great, dottie!

(I don't know whether to feel sorrier for Santa or the reindeer in that stoplight one!)

dot-matrix · « **Reply #26 on:** November 27, 2007, 04:23:59 am »

dot-matrix · « **Reply #27 on:** November 27, 2007, 04:24:35 am »

dot-matrix · « **Reply #28 on:** November 27, 2007, 04:25:02 am »

dot-matrix · « **Reply #29 on:** November 27, 2007, 04:25:38 am »

dot-matrix · « **Reply #30 on:** November 27, 2007, 04:26:48 am »

Dagi · « **Reply #31 on:** November 27, 2007, 05:08:55 am »

Great cartoons, Dottie!!

dot-matrix · « **Reply #32 on:** November 29, 2007, 01:28:24 pm »

dot-matrix · « **Reply #33 on:** November 29, 2007, 01:29:25 pm »

dot-matrix · « **Reply #34 on:** November 29, 2007, 11:28:40 pm »

Dear Santa,

I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and
cuddled my children on demand, visited their doctor's
office more than my doctor and sold sixty-two cases
of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on
the school playground. I was hoping you could spread
my list out over several Christmases, since I had to
write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back
of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and
who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the
next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:

I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache
(in any color, except purple, which I
already have) and arms that don't hurt
or flap in the breeze, but are strong
enough to pull my screaming child out
of the candy aisle in the grocery store.

I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine
somewhere in the seventh month of
my last pregnancy.

If you're hauling big ticket items this
year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows
and a radio that only plays adult music,
a television that doesn't broadcast any
programs containing talking animals,
and a refrigerator with a secret
compartment behind the crisper where
I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a
talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy"
to boost my parental confidence, along
with two kids who don't fight and three
pairs of jeans that will zip all the way
up without the use of power tools.

I could also use a recording of Tibetan
monks chanting "Don't eat in the living
room" and "Take your hands off your
brother," because my voice seems to
be just out of my children's hearing
range and can only be heard by the dog.

If it's too late to find any of these
products, I'd settle for enough time
to brush my teeth and comb my hair
in the same morning, or the luxury
of eating food warmer than room
temperature without it being served
in a Styrofoam container.

If you don't mind, I could also use
a few Christmas miracles to brighten
the holiday season. Would it be too
much trouble to declare ketchup a
vegetable? It will clear my conscience
immensely. It would be helpful if you
could coerce my children to help
around the house without demanding
payment as if they were the bosses
of an organized crime family.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is
calling and my son saw my feet under
the laundry room door. I think he wants
his crayon back. Have a safe trip and
remember to leave your wet boots by
the door and come in and dry off so
you don't catch cold.

Help yourself to cookies on the table
but don't eat too many or leave
crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always,

MOM...

P.S. One more thing...you can cancel
all my requests if you can keep my
children young enough to believe in Santa.

*Santa has asked that this gets passed
on to all the mommies you know.

Dagi · « **Reply #35 on:** November 30, 2007, 06:33:42 am »

this made my day, Dottie...I would quote my favorite passages, but I´d have to quote it all, so I don´t...thanks for the good laugh!

dot-matrix · « **Reply #36 on:** December 07, 2007, 02:03:28 am »

The Twelve Days After Christmas

The first day after Christmas
My true love and I had a fight
And so I chopped the pear tree down
And burnt it, just for spite

Then with a single cartridge
I shot that blasted partridge

My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.

The second day after Christmas
I pulled on the old rubber gloves
And very gently wrung the necks
Of both the turtle doves

My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.

On the third day after Christmas
My mother caught the croup
I had to use the three French hens
To make some chicken soup

The four calling birds were a big mistake For their language was obscene
The five golden rings were completely fake and turned my fingers green.

The sixth day after Christmas
The six laying geese wouldn't lay
So I sent the whole darn gaggle to the
A.S.P.C.A.

My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.

On the seventh day, what a mess I found The seven swans-a-swimming all had drowned.

The eighth day after Christmas
Before they could suspect
I bundled up the
Eight maids-a-milking
Nine ladies dancing
Ten lords-a-leaping
Eleven pipers piping
Twelve drummers drumming
And sent them back collect

I wrote my true love
"We are through, love!"
And I said in so many words
"Furthermore your Christmas gifts were for the Birds!"

Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves
And a partridge in a pear tree!"

dot-matrix · « **Reply #37 on:** December 08, 2007, 03:57:27 am »

dot-matrix · « **Reply #38 on:** December 18, 2007, 10:16:35 pm »

dot-matrix · « **Reply #39 on:** December 18, 2007, 10:21:49 pm »

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said,'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.

'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said,
'They're bells.'

Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'

The man replied, 'These are Carols.'

And So The Christmas Season Begins......

dot-matrix · « **Reply #40 on:** December 18, 2007, 10:22:51 pm »

Katie77 · « **Reply #41 on:** December 18, 2007, 10:52:57 pm »

Katie77 · « **Reply #42 on:** December 18, 2007, 10:55:04 pm »

Katie77 · « **Reply #43 on:** December 18, 2007, 10:56:45 pm »

Shasta542 · « **Reply #44 on:** December 19, 2007, 12:15:48 am »

Quote from: dot-matrix on December 18, 2007, 10:22:51 pm

I think they should make real Christmas cards with this sentiment, Dottie!

Susiebell · « **Reply #45 on:** December 22, 2007, 06:56:12 am »

Quote from: dot-matrix on December 18, 2007, 10:22:51 pm

dot-matrix · « **Reply #46 on:** December 23, 2007, 04:32:28 am »

'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck. . .
How to live in a world that's politically correct ?

His workers no longer would answer to "Elves"
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.

And labor conditions at the North Pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.

Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.

And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.

So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid.

The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.

And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises coming from their roof-tops.

Second-hand smoke from his pipe had made his workers quite frightened,
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."

And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorised use of his nose.

And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation.
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.

So, half the reindeer were gone, and his wife
Who suddenly said she had enough of this life.

Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz.
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.

And as for the gifts, why he'd never a notion
That making a choice would cause so much commotion.

Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.

Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.

Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise,
Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.

Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-specific.

No candy or sweets . . .they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.

And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.

For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

No baseball, no football . . .someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.

Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.

So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.

He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.

His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.

Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.

A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, from every religion.

Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere . . . even you.

So here is that gift, its price beyond worth.
"May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth."

News:

Author Topic: Holiday Cartoons (Read 12173 times)

Susiebell

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Dagi

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