Perhaps the focus of this question needs to be torn out of the hands of straights. Instead, define 'gay' as being indicated by whom you fall in love with, and only secondarily by whom you have sex with. Gay men know that lots of men who self-identify as straight have sex with other men (MSM). But ladies, you're never going to get your husband or boyfriend to admit it. My advice about 'bro-jobs' is stay away from straight men in some futile hope that they will start feeling romantic about you. You are just going to break your heart.
