Arriving late here and did not read all the posts.....Anyway...Here are my attempts. You can match them with the appropriate dialogue from the film.
"Are you in any sort of way inclined to part with at least fifty percent of your confounded dental bone structure?"
"For what reason, maternal parent? I shall be consuming these comestibles for the coming fortnight."
"If you desire to inhale the nicotine and tar within small burning white tubes of rolled paper, my spouse, some may be located in the outer flap of my long-sleeved, button-front garment, yonder in our shared quarters."
Gosh, I'm starting to sound a bit like Jeeves!
