Author Topic: Where are you in your process?  (Read 13731 times)

Offline ednbarby

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Re: Where are you in your process?
« Reply #10 on: May 05, 2006, 03:30:11 pm »
Well at first I couldnt get enough of BBM.  I went out and bought the DVD before I took the one I rented back to the store because I couldnt be without it.  I have been on the boards and ebay.  I bought a BBM italian charm for my bracelet and when I'm out and start thinking about them I just look at it.  I still watch the DVD every couple days but I feel like I have a part of them with me now and so I'm not so obsessed!

I know this feeling.  Ennis and Jack were in my dreams almost every night for about a two-week period at the height of my obsession.  But I haven't seen them now in over a week.  The relentless wind I've spoken of elsewhere on this board that's been howling down here in South Florida since early February ended at the same time.  I like to think it's because they are together now in that Brokeback Mountain eternity that Jeff S, I believe it was, described some time ago in a piece of his beautiful fanfic.

And just like that, I can actually go for hours at a time without thinking about them.  I still love to post here because I'll never stop loving the movie or all of you wonderful people here who live inside your own hearts like I do, but I think I've finally been able to lay them both to peaceful rest.
No more beans!

TJ

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Re: Where are you in your process?
« Reply #11 on: May 05, 2006, 04:25:41 pm »
My "process" of everyday life is only connected with Brokeback Mountain (the movie and the short story) in the fact that it is just one of the things that millions of us who have been there and done that (BTDT) or we know people who have BTDT or are in the process of being there and doing that, some way or another.

If you read my postings in the BetterMost Forums or in the BbM Yahoo Groups which I either own or participate in (or have read in forums where I was banned, not that one which begins with an "I," you will have read about the fact that I left the closet in middle of March 1984 and was out of the closet to all of my family in November 1988.

I never knew the existence of Brokeback Mountain until September 2005 when news about the move started to show up on gay and lesbian online news sources.

Reading a book or seeing a movie has had no connection with my coming out process; but, my relationship with Jesus the Christ did. And, that is also connected with being a person who is Pentecostal by experience, too.

Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: Where are you in your process?
« Reply #12 on: May 05, 2006, 10:27:51 pm »
I'm not sure I'm ever going to be able to accept Heath and Jake in other roles. They're lucky the future of their careers doesn't depend on me!

I think perhaps my process went off in an odd direction becuase I got involved in writing Brokeback fanfiction. Although my earliest stories were "in the canon" of the film and the story, I've now gone off creating "Alternative Universe" stories, which I suspect at some level is a way of appropriating Ennis and Jack to myself, since I'm creating my own world for them where they have that sweet life together.
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline RouxB

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Re: Where are you in your process?
« Reply #13 on: May 06, 2006, 09:28:13 pm »
Ah Jeff, I so love your writing and I have to thank you for getting me started-I am a decent writer-of letters-but have never attempted any fiction. I understand completely what you mean by writing allowing you to keep them with you. That is exactly what it does for me. I had weird guilt about my AU but I'm over that now. Annie Proulx gave me permission to finish the story however as I saw fit.

 O0

Heathen

Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: Where are you in your process?
« Reply #14 on: May 07, 2006, 06:12:41 pm »
Ah Jeff, I so love your writing and I have to thank you for getting me started-I am a decent writer-of letters-but have never attempted any fiction. I understand completely what you mean by writing allowing you to keep them with you. That is exactly what it does for me. I had weird guilt about my AU but I'm over that now. Annie Proulx gave me permission to finish the story however as I saw fit.

 O0

Aww, thanks, RouxB!   :)  Tell you what, I had that sense of guilt, too, over going off in an AU direction in my writing--like I was somehow "betraying" the "real" Ennis and Jack. Even though I've finished and posted two AU stories, I think at some level I'm still dealing with it.
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline Rayn

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Re: Where are you in your process?
« Reply #15 on: May 08, 2006, 02:29:27 am »
I'm not sure I'm ever going to be able to accept Heath and Jake in other roles. They're lucky the future of their careers doesn't depend on me!


Yeah, I feel the same way, Jeff.  I hardly knew them before BBM.  Now I've seen Jarhead and Moonlight Mile with Jake in them.  I didn't like either of them.   I've seen Keith in Casanova and A Knight's Tales and they were "ok", but none of those movies matched up to Ennis and Jack in BBM.

I've stopped watching the movie for now.  Six times was enough for me to know what happens and how I will feel every time I watch it.  I'm reading Annie's Collection of short stories, "Open Range".  She is a very interesting writer, I mean, the language she captures and invents.  Her characters and plots are so convincing; you just know they are based on real life.  I'm enjoying her very much. 

I do come here to talk about stuff still though, so I'll be seeing you around here...

Rayn
« Last Edit: May 08, 2006, 02:31:11 am by Rayn »

Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: Where are you in your process?
« Reply #16 on: May 08, 2006, 09:14:52 am »

Yeah, I feel the same way, Jeff.  I hardly knew them before BBM.  Now I've seen Jarhead and Moonlight Mile with Jake in them.  I didn't like either of them.   I've seen Keith in Casanova and A Knight's Tales and they were "ok", but none of those movies matched up to Ennis and Jack in BBM.

I've stopped watching the movie for now.  Six times was enough for me to know what happens and how I will feel every time I watch it.  I'm reading Annie's Collection of short stories, "Open Range".  She is a very interesting writer, I mean, the language she captures and invents.  Her characters and plots are so convincing; you just know they are based on real life.  I'm enjoying her very much. 

I do come here to talk about stuff still though, so I'll be seeing you around here...

Rayn

I hadn't seen Jake in anything before Brokeback. The film of his that I really want to see some day is October Sky. That came and went through the Philadelphia theaters pretty quickly, but I remember seeing the TV commercials for it and thinking it looked like a nice, sweet story. I'm thinking also, possibly, of The Good Girl, but that one isn't high on my list because I've never gotten the appeal of Jennifer Anniston. I've never found her particularly pretty, and her character on Friends always annoyed me.

As for Heath, I'd seen The Patriot and A Knight's Tale. I didn't like either of those films, but not because of Heath. With regard to The Patriot, my M.A. is in Early American History, and there were plot turns in that movie that I found way too implausible. I could say pretty much the same for A Knight's Tale. I do medieval and Renaissance historical re-enacting and re-creating, and the rock-and-role dance sequence in A Knight's Tale made my flesh crawl. In any case, in both movies Heath struck me as another very pretty Aussie boy and not much else--which is one (of many) reasons that made Brokeback so stunning to me. I freely admit I seriously misjudged him. Mea culpa! Casanova also came and went pretty quickly from local theaters, but in any case I wasn't prepared to accept him in another role while Brokeback was still playing a few blocks away.
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline ednbarby

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Re: Where are you in your process?
« Reply #17 on: May 08, 2006, 09:20:19 am »
Oh, Jeff, you *must* see October Sky AND The Good Girl.  These are two of my favorites of Jake's roles.  October Sky was the first thing I ever saw him in.  Loved the movie so much in general that I dragged my husband back to see it since he'd missed it the first time.  Chris Cooper plays his Dad, and he's *so* damned good.  This movie is noteworthy in my Jake fandom history because when it was over, I looked for his name in the credits, and I'm sure I mispronounced it in my mind.  And I remember thinking "That boy's going places."  Yes, it is a sweet story and very inspiring, mostly because it's true.

And The Good Girl is one of my favorite movies, period.  I didn't think much of Jennifer Aniston one way or the other before seeing it, but she really rose to the occasion.  It's by far the deepest of all her protrayals (which I know may not be saying much).  And Zooey Deschanel is a *riot* as a co-worker who isn't afraid to show regularly how much she hates her job.  Just a very interesting, engaging, makes-you-think slice of life story.  Excellent stuff.
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Offline silkncense

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Re: Where are you in your process?
« Reply #18 on: May 08, 2006, 11:37:01 am »
The sleepless nights are now long gone but I still wake sometimes as Ennis did, from dreams of Jack (or Ennis). 

I am apparently on a different plane than others as I now am 'comforted' by seeing the film and knowing what a powerful love was shared.  I do still react sadly to the chipping away of that love and the tragedy of the loss, but I believe some people are so impacted because they never had THAT intense kind of love.  And fear they never will.

I can also view films with Heath Ledger since I never saw Heath Ledger in Brokeback Mountain.  I only saw Ennis.  (Maybe a couple of times Jake Gyllenhaal crept into the film,  but I can overlook that). 

"……when I think of him, I just can't keep from crying…because he was a friend of mine…"

TJ

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Re: Where are you in your process?
« Reply #19 on: May 08, 2006, 06:09:22 pm »
I never even knew whom Heath Ledger was until I saw the promos for Brokeback Mountain. And that is the last movie that I have seen in a theater.

I never realized that I had seen Jake Gyllenhaal in other movies (all on TV) until after I saw BbM.

As far as accepting them being in other acting roles, I have no problem with that. But, if they were to be in a Western themed movie or another movie in the same genre as BbM, that might be different.