Where are you in your process?

[Karan13]

Hi,
    I must admit i can now actually watch other movies before going to bed , but while they are on in the back of my mind i look at the clock and think Oh have i got time to fit BBM in afterwards. It is so powerful as a whole movie from screenplay to acting to short story to soundtrack { i to have found myself loving country and western ! } I felt sad when i watched the movie early on but now i can just enjoy the beauty of it and feel uplifted { although i still cry at my sadest scene where Jack drives away after the divorce has come through }. I think i have broken down and discussed the movie that much that i have found peace now just to enjoy its beauty. xx KAZ

[aileen]

I had to wait for BBM till March, cause in that time it came to theatres here in Poland. So, I'm still thinking about this story and can' t stop. But I' m not sad anymore, now I' m grateful I could see this picture. There was a time I was really afraid that somebody will not allow BBM be played in Poland because of homophobic moods here (well...homophobic government as a matter of fact )
So...where am I in my process - I'm still readind everything I can find about BBM, still watching the pictures, waiting for DVD (it'll be here in September!!! So late ), reading fun fics especially with happy endings. And I don' t want to stop

[bbm_stitchbuffyfan]

A lot of the beauty, to me, comes from it's sadness. I do not often cry in movies except for a handful -- okay, maybe an armful -- of movies. Nothing has ever affected me like Brokeback.

I haven't watched the movie in about a month -- I finally got to watch the DVD though. But for some reason, the past few days have been harder than the previous weeks. With the grieving process, you have your good days and your bad ones.

I can watch other movies but I watch them in a very critical perspective. And nothing, to me, is as enthralling as Brokeback.

[slayers_creek_oth]

My obession for the movie itself has really mellowed....however my obsession for this site continues to grow.  I haven't seen the movie in almost a month...

[RouxB]

I have not seen the movie in about 6 weeks-I thought this was evidence that my obsession was also mellowing. However, I feel this week a bit of the Brokeback fever. In reality I think I've been stuffing my BbM emotion and it is now fighting to be let out. I need to hold on for just 12 more days to the BIG Event screening at the Castro in SF. I hope the enormity of seeing it again on the big screen doesn't completely do me in!

 

[b_hynds]

I think my obsession for the film has settled down somewhat. For months it was all I thought about. I still think about it everyday though, and I continue to seach ebay looking for more memrobilia. I haven't watched the dvd in over a month, I just wanted to take a little break. I tried to watch it earlier this week but started tearing up instantly and decided to turn it off. Guess I wasn't ready yet. I think I'll wait to watch it again untill next week in SF on the big screen.

[Shakesthecoffecan]

It hs calmed from an all consuming passion to a facet in my life. Everytime I think about those guys I can't help but cry a little bit. It has opened up possibilities for me, I am reading everything Proulx wrote, am watching everything that Ang Lee has directed, or Ossana and McMurtry wrote, or any of the actors stared in. It is carrying me to Wyoming later this month.

And I love going into public places wearing my Jack Nasty ball cap. 

[serious crayons]

I watched the DVD once a week for the past three weeks. I rented it; don't own it (can't remember if I posted that here before, but the reason I didn't buy it is I'm afraid of overwatching it). I still have my way overdue rental (thanks to Blockbuster's no-late-fee policy). I may watch at least parts one more time next week to check out things that people have mentioned lately that I still (after, I think, 12 viewings) had not noticed.

But then I'm going to take the summer off. Kids will be home all the time; it's harder ... and I'm looking forward to how great it will be to see it again in September, when my memory has faded a bit and everything will seem so fresh!

[whiteoutofthemoon]

Well I am certainly doing better today than I was a few days ago after first watching the movie.  All the crying stopped now (see my post under Get In Touch With Your Feelings), I can actually watch this movie with more awe and amazement. I love the entire movie, but my favourite scene is the "Let Me Be" scene. Each time I see it, I pick up more and more.
 And what scares me in a way is that I am a straight guy with a wife! Why do I understand this scene so well? It's almost as if I can identify with it somehow. And that is very scary to me.
 I read the posts under the Steps thread. It's amazing how accurate that post is to how I feel. So I guess that others have travelled down this road before me.
 I am so glad that I found this forum, it really helps to know that I am not the only person feeling this way. I feel that there is something "left open" in my life and I can't identify it, but I feel that if I do and deal with it all will return to normal. So I am seriously reevaluating my life and beginning to deal with all the issues(and I didn;t think I had any!) and strangely enough I am finding a very relaxing warm calm.

I like this response from way back in April.....I'm a straight guy too who can't seem to shake the profound affect this movie has had on me.   For me,  the movie was more than a love story, but one of lost opportunities, and now I'm terrified that I will end up like Ennis.....did you notice how in the final trailer scene that he lost the "spring" in his step....he barely lifts his feet off the ground when he walks...shuffling around, defeated of spirit and happiness.   What decisions have I made that I regret, and will I completely miss out on opportunity if I wait for just the "right" moment or thing to come along?   This really has more to do with relationships.....it's about the path you choose in life....your career, your goals.... so many opportunities come along that will not reappear later....you either take a chance, or miss out.  Ennis is barely 40 at the end and already his life seems over, as it seems he will not have the opportunity to be happy again.  This is also the case in the short story, which has Ennis even much older, and in that same old lonely trailer. 

[alec716]

I am not a "movie person," or at least I never have been before this, but BBM has infused my soul ... painted a need... named an ache... brought me new friends in the guise of Jack and Ennis... and helped me rack up some ebay purchases in the process!  I find that I want the still images around me daily, but that the music and DVD are too powerful for every day purposes.  They are to be savored when I can devote my full attention and concentration to them.  I find that the movie and the written story have helped me process prior parts of my own life which I thought could be left alone.   This gorgeous story has also helped me focus even more deeply on treasuring the beauty which I have in my life.