Kerry's Komedy Klub

[dot-matrix]

A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk,they connect and they end up leaving together.  They get back to his apartment and she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly
teddy bears. Hundreds of cute little bears on a bottom shelf all the way along the floor. Cuddly medium sized
ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge enormous bears  on the top shelf along the wall.

<><><>

The woman is surprised that this hunky guy would have a collection of teddy bears, but she decides not to
mention how impressed she is by his sensitive side.  Things progress and they get down to an intense night
of passion.

Afterwards, lying side by side, the woman rolls over andasks smiling, “Well, how was it?”

<><><>

Macho man says; “ Help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf.”

[dot-matrix]

A senior citizen said to his 80 year old chess partner,

“So I hear you are getting married ?”

“Yep,” was the firm reply. “Do I know her?” he asked.

“Nope,” was another firm reply.

“This woman, is she good looking?””Not really,” said the

prospective groom. “Is she a good cook?”

“Can’t cook to save herself,” the old fella said.

“Does she have lots of money?”

“No, poor as a churchmouse,” he said.

“Well the, she must be good in bed?”

“I”I don’t know,” was the surprising answer.

“Why in the world do you want to marry her?”

“Because she can still drive.”

[pettifogger]

*snip
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" To which she replied, "There certainly is!"

(are you ready? this is a beauty .)

My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL."

[Shasta542]

A Russian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily ever after in Toronto. However, the poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.

One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. Her butcher got the message, and gave her the chicken legs.

Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn't know how to say it, and so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts! The butcher understood again, and gave her some chicken breasts.

On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store...


(Please scroll down)











What were you thinking? Hellooooooo, her husband speaks English!  
I don't know about you sometimes!

[Kerry]

            I really love your cartoon, drawing style.  Kerry it is wonderful..Reminds me of early twentiet century things.  Like from the New Yorker magazine... very stylish..and funny!

Thank you for your kind words, Janice. I'm glad you're enjoying my cartoons. 

Here's one about an ongoing debate raging in Oz at present about our present water shortage, specifically whether we should build desalination plants or recycle sewage. Seems that everyone has a point of view. As for myself, I personally prefer the desalination option. Can't seem to get my head around drinking recycled sewage. Yetch!     

This chap makes a very valid point!     

[Dagi]

The old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail a few feet in front of the sheriff.
"Howdy, stranger..."

"Howdy, Sheriff..."

The cowboy then moved slowly to the back of his horse, lifted its tail, and placed a big kiss were the sun don't shine. He dropped the horse's tail, and stepped up on the walk and aimed towards the swinging doors of the saloon. "Hold on there, Mister..."

"Sheriff?"

"Did I just see what I think I just saw?"

"Reckon you did, Sheriff...I got me some powerful chapped lips..."

"And that cures them?" the Sheriff asked."

Nope, but it keeps me from lickin' em.







Susie
 

 

[Kerry]

Congratulations on 1,000 posts, Dagi! Yee-Haw! 

 

[dot-matrix]

Hey Daqi Congratualtions on reaching 100 posts! 

[dot-matrix]

A man is playing piano one night in a bar,

In walks an elephant who goes over to the pianist,

and suddenly starts to cry.

“There there,” says the pianist.

“Do you recognise the song?”

“No, no,” says the elephant.

“I recognise the white keys.”

[dot-matrix]

A Polish man moved to Australia and married a local girl.

Although his English was far from perfect, they got

along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer’s

office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce.

The lawyer ( L) said that getting a divorce would depend

on the circumstances, and this exchange took place

with the client ( C).


L – Have you any grounds ?

C – Yes, half a hectare and a nice little home.

L – I mean what is the foundation of this case ?

C – It made of concrete.

L – I don’t think you understand. Does either of you

have a real grudge ?

C – No , we have carport.

L – I mean what are your relations like ?

C – All my relations still in Poland.

L – Is there any infidelity in your marriage ?

C – We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

L – Does your wife beat you up ?

C – No, I’m always up before her.

L – Why do you want this divorce ?

C – She is going to kill me. I got proof.

L – What kind of proof ?

C – She is going to poison me. She got a bottle from

the super-market and put it on the bathroom shelf.

I can read, and it says , “ Polish Remover.”